Chapter Five

I slept the entire day away and most of the evening, when I awoke my eyes were swollen and puffy. My first night in a new house and my first night away from my father dread fills me as I swing my legs off the bed slide from the bed to the floor still in my naked state and then scurry to the bathroom. " I must have messed up pretty bad, he went from declaring his love to giving me the cold shoulder within minutes". Maybe I should be happy, but why is my heart in pain? Maybe he expected me to have a little bit of experience but I've always believed honesty is the best policy. Standing and looking at myself in the mirror, I cringe as I hear soft moans coming from the other side of the wall. Hearing her get louder and louder.

"Oh oh De'Shawn yes right there, she repeats it like a mantra and my heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. How could he? Why would he? What did I do? This man is evil and deceitful, but I have no right to object. I take my rejected heart and slide into the whirlpool burying myself into the water letting it seep into my ears. Hoping to drown out the sound that's squeezing at my heart. I leap out of the water and run to the closet pulling on an oversized t-shirt and some shorts some socks and my crocks. I run down the stairs and to the front door, as soon as It begins to open I hear shuffling from the top of the stairs Gideon barreling towards me. "Madame, Madame he shouts running down the stairs".

After I exit the house I let the cool air hit me and I take in the fresh air all at once. Running down the front steps, I can't decide what to do. I mean I know what I should do but I don't know what the consequences would be since he has already kept his end of the deal I sit in the field of high sunflowers and watch Gideon run around frantic calling my name and searching. when he enters the house again I hear glass shatter and he runs back out. "Don't worry boss I will find her she couldn't have gone too far". The door slams and I decide not to cause Gideon any grief. I stand up in the field and softly call his name. Looking back over his shoulders he sees me and comes to me, madame what are you doing out here?

"Come on, I should get you back inside before you catch a cold, I turn and watch him helplessly, and finally, I agree. He offers his arm and I take it ever so quickly as he guides me back out of the fields and into the house. When we enter there is frantic all around and you can sense the uneasiness of everyone there. He releases my arm and goes over and whispers something to DeShawn whose eyes flicker to the main entrance where I'm no longer standing. I've had enough of today and just wish it to be over. The little brunette who sits tucked in the corner there with a smirk on her face and I won't lie I wanted to knock it right off but instead, I go to one of his 6 guest rooms lock myself inside, and cry myself Into a sleepless frenzy.

Never dosing off completely I sit listen and watch in the dark. Looking at the door there is a figure just outside pacing back and forth in front of the door, I'm not sure how long he has been out there but he can  “fuck off” as far as I'm concerned. Leaning back into the pillows I watch as this continues into the early morning hours. Another night with no peaceful sleep and the bags under my eyes are proof, at nine am there's a knock at the door. ‘ Madame, it calls and I recognize Gideon's voice and my body relaxes not ready to face DeShawn just yet’. Yes, my voice comes out soft and a little broken. “ I have set the breakfast table for you and I wanted you to know it was ready, I will wait outside here to accompany you down”.

I get up and go to the bathroom looking at my face I see the bags under my eyes from crying all night red swollen little blotches from my constant stream of tears. I didn't grab anything to wear when I locked myself in here and I am pretty hungry seeing as I didn't eat at all yesterday. One day of being married and my heart was shattered the first night. He ran away from me and into the arms of another when I was clearly offering myself to him he would have to be blind to not have seen it. Thinking of this I decided now was not the time to show weakness this was basically a job and as long as I saw it that way my feeling wouldn't matter one way or the other.

Pulling on a pair of shades to cover my eyes I open the bedroom door and see a pale-faced Gideon, whose eyes soften the moment he sees me. Madame, I bought you a change of clothes he greets handing me the clothes that he chose looking them over I frown a little. I was just going to grab a jogging suit sir and he looks at me and doesn't speak but he nods in agreement. I walk back to the room door where my heart was shattered and my stomach twisted as I remember last night's scene will you give me one moment to get change and then we will have breakfast. I walk into the room scurrying about quickly grabbing my things throwing them on.

Dressed and filling a little better in my comfort clothes I'm ready to face the day Gideon stood guard outside the door and waited just as he said I smile with a gleam in my eye one where yesterday misery doesn't show on my face any more bags under my eyes hidden with makeup and a big fake smile plastered on my face. He looks as if he wishes to say something and decides against it, not sure why he reminds me of my father but I'm thankful for it at this moment he calms me. Walking down the stairs we pass the maids who snicker and whisper but I pay them no mind. He walks me to the table and I freeze when my eyes land on him.

My eyes shoot up in surprise to Gideon as I turn to face him, I thought you said we were having breakfast I wasn't aware the table was already full I glare a little and the tips of his ears turn red. Sorry madame I thought you understood the boss wanted to have breakfast with you just morning. Removing my arm from his he gives me a wary look, I step away from him sitting at the opposite end of the table with my head cast down not meeting the eyes of anyone. Rose, his deep voice booms, and my eyes sweep up to see him awaiting my response, yes Mr.White.

I let it roll off the tip of my tongue as if it means nothing to be still not meeting his gaze.  I’ve had the cook make some of your favorites I'm sure your hungry he says a little more gently. I nod and pick up a bagel and pour myself a cup of tea still not looking outside of this box I've pushed myself in. I finish my bagel and bacon with my tea, and then I sit quietly waiting for him to dismiss me. He looks at me with those big blue eyes that I feel burning a hole into me which makes me shrink into myself even more. Gathering my courage my head lifts up and I finally meet his gaze after forty-Five minutes of avoiding it. I'm done now sir may I be dismissed I ask not meeting his gaze at all one glance and my eyes are back on the empty plate that sits before me.

He sighs and I can hear his frustration, but how dare he try to flip this around on me Rose I'm trying to explain and apologize but you are making it very difficult. How about there is nothing to explain and the process is that simple I can deal with that. He glares at me and I glare back, he shakes his head rising to his feet he comes over to me in a rush pulling me up from the chair. “ It doesn't have to be this way rose, I need for you to hear me out truly”. If that's all can you please let go of my arm and give me time to think, to think about what exactly because leaving me is not an option he sneers and the stops I cut my eyes at him brush past him rather quickly marching up the stairs but it doesn't stop him he comes swiftly behind me. I wasn't done speaking to you back there he says as I try to enter the guest room pulling me back by my arm I stop.

I heard you, Mr.White, and maybe we should speak another time  the wound is still fresh and I do not wish to argue with you,  right or wrong this is your home and what you do in it is of no business of mine, so you see there's no need to explain. “Mr.White is my father you can call me anything other than that your my wife and there will be no formalities between us. Yes, sir I understand, grabbing my hand he tugs me back to the master bedroom pulling the door open and pushing me in as his body clambers against mine will you just listen please just this once and I quit fighting him standing up straight and strengthening my clothes Ok, sir speak if you must, shrugging out of his arms I take a seat on the foot post at the end of the bed lengthening the space between us.