Chapter 1

Emerson.

Emerson’s head was smashed up against the window of her moms SUV as the air conditioner blasted her long white blonde hair around in her face. She caught herself wondering why it was so hot when the summers in this town were supposedly mild, or so said the weather when she looked it up before the move. Andover Oregon was already not what she thought it would be, and they were just pulling into the town.

“I think we’re really going to like it here” Carol Parker sing songed cutting the silence of the car. They’d been driving all day from their previous home in Southern California.

“Look at that mountain mom!” A voice from the backseat yelled. Emerson rolled her eyes. Thinking her little brother Sawyer’s nap had lasted all of 20 minutes. At 7 years old the boy was entirely too excited about this, and anything and everything new or different. He thought of this move as an adventure. A fun family quest they were going on. Emerson thought she should be happy for him, after everything they’d been through at least he was getting to be a kid again.

“Look at that river!” He was still shouting.

“Look at the woods! And the trees!”

“Woods and trees are the same thing Sawyer” Emerson’s comment had her mother giving her he side eye.

“Not necessarily Em”

“Okay mom whatever you say”

“She’s just pissed because we had to move”

Sawyers voice still speaking over the loud air conditioner.

“Don’t say pissed Saw” Carol Parker tried to keep words like pissed from him although Emerson had no idea why when he had heard and said so much worse in his small seven years.

“Remember they’re delivering your car tomorrow Em. So you need to make sure your home at noon”

. Where did her mother think she would be going on her first day in a brand new town? She probably would be stuck at home for the most part of her senior year. Changing schools at any point is a hassle but your last year? Now that’s just torture.

As much as she hated to admit it that statement from her mom did bring a small smile to Emerson’s face. No way did she want to be in a new town starting a new school and not have her own wheels. Shortly after her mom had told her they were moving out of her childhood home, Carol had taken her to pick out a car. Emerson thought that was bribery but she wasn’t going to tell her no. All of her friends already had their own car. But Em had been driving her dad’s truck back and forth ever since she had gotten her license. Her mom had told her there had been no point in buying another car when he wasn’t using it anyway. And it was fine for a while. It was a nice truck, brand new extended cab, tinted windows with chrome accessories… super nice. But after the incident, both of them, she couldn’t stand to be anywhere near it. So her mom had sold the truck to a neighbor and gotten Emerson her dream car. The white BMW i8 was enough to put at least a bit of a smile on her face.

Emerson continued staring out the window as they drove further into the town. Her new home. It was beautiful here as much as she hated to admit it. Blue waters of a pristine lake with a surrounding forest and a mountain in the background was a peaceful sight that was for sure. They drove passed the landmark that she and apparently her brother were enjoying and into a busier section of the town.

“There’s the hospital” her mom said pointing across the seat. A huge four or five story red brick building with a parking lot down in a small valley came into view. Her mom was a hospital administrator. She had been for years at their previous home and when this job became available she jumped at it. Emerson didn’t know why her mom wanted to go to another town, in another state to start a new job that was exactly like he one she had. But she assumed that her mom wanted a fresh start, and to get away from the memories of their old home. Which wasn’t a bad idea at all.. but it was still a hard pill to swallow. Pfft… great analogy. Emerson shook her head to herself.

Emerson’s dad had been a doctor. That’s how they met, he and her mom spent long hours at the hospital. They had a mutual understanding about work hours and the importance of what they did. After the incident that happened her dad had been so consumed with guilt he began self medicating even though as a dr he knew how dangerous it was. After a year of taking every pill known to man - which were very easy to get his hands on - he lost his license and sunk into depression. He stayed at home every day - thus Em getting to drive his truck - and started doing harder drugs since he no longer had access to his pills. And then six months ago he overdosed and died. Inside her childhood home. They’d walked in after going to a T-ball game for Saw. He was laying in the kitchen floor. Emerson found him first.

Em shook her head trying to rid the thoughts. Her mom looked over at her, seeing the tears beginning in her eyes she spoke.

“Em?”

“This is going to be good for us all”.

Emerson just nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak in that moment and she didn’t want Saw to know she had been upset. She really hoped so. Really hoped that this would be a good thing and they could move past all the bad. She hoped she could stop reliving the moment she found her dad, laying there - all wrong - on the kitchen floor. She had been having nightmares about it. She hoped they would stop too. But she had a feeling that she couldn’t place. And she didn’t like it. Last time she had a weird feeling like that was the day she found her dad.

Looking up at the sky Em noticed she could still see the outline of the moon even though the sun was still shining low in the sky. It was getting late in the day and would be getting dark soon. She watched it like it would disappear. Emerson had always loved the moon. She felt like she had some sort of connection with it - although she didn’t know how exactly. Now looking at it she wondered if her dad was up there in the sky with it looking down on her. Perhaps he was keeping an eye on her. Although they’d never been super close, his work was his number one priority, she knew he had loved her. She also knew he had felt guilty about what happened to her and thought that if he’d been around more he could’ve stopped it. She knew that’s why he started on the pills, the guilt was eating away at him. But she also knew that his guilt wasn’t warranted . Nothing could’ve stopped what happened to her. And now she felt like her dad’s demise was her fault. The guilt began to creep back in. Months of therapy couldn’t remove it completely. But her dad felt responsible. And that led him to the drugs… which led to his death. It all came back to her. She had gotten better at not letting the feelings overtake her like they did at first. But they never went away completely.

Shaking her head to rid her negative thoughts once again she looked back at the sights they were passing. The town had now gotten smaller, more quaint it seemed like. They’d passed the bigger buildings and chain stores and fancy restaurants and come into more of a downtown area. Where people walked the sidewalks and old timey street lamps littered the corners on top of cobblestone walkways. Small stores took residence on each side of the roads. She noticed a diner and was glad she remembered seeing bigger chain restaurants and stores earlier closer to the hospital. She didn’t know what she would do without her Starbucks and weekly trips to the shopping mall. It seemed ridiculous but for a long time ‘Em didn’t care about doing anything. She had only just gotten back to the point of enjoying some of the smaller things in life like coffees and and a new pair of jeans. She looked closer at the stores. It was getting dark now and cute little street lights and wire lights were coming on. People were walking down the side walks with bags in their hands. They seemed to be driving around the lake they had seen earlier. . Emerson felt her breath catch when she noticed a dance studio. Dance used to be her passion. She had been on the dance team at school and they had won the championship last year. She had taken dance and gymnastics since she was little. But she didn’t think that would be possible here. Maybe she was wrong. A good constant workout with daily rituals was a part of her therapy. Her therapist, Evan, or Dr. Dank as most patients called him (she couldn’t ever bring herself to call him that even though it was his actual name) made sure she had exercises to practice and a journal to keep when she left. She was really going to miss Evan. At 30 years old ‘Em had an easier time opening up to him than she thought she would. When her mom first suggested therapy she told her no way in hell was she going to talk to some old man with a beard in a suit smoking a pipe. She had quite an awakening when she walked into the office that day. Evan helped her get passed her grief and she would always be grateful to him and feel like she owed him.

A movie theater sat on one corner lit up with huge signs and bright lights. Emerson noticed a group of teenagers sitting in the parking lot as her mom stopped at the red light. There were a few trucks sitting around and several motorcycles. Some dirt bikes and a large hummer. She didn’t know why she looked. Or stared so hard. It was like something was pulling her.. almost immediately and out of nowhere she had the strangest feeling. There at that moment, one person, one boy to be precise caught her eye. He stood out from the rest. She knew somehow he was the leader of the group. He had an aura around him that invited you in but held a very strong warning at the same time. He happened to look up right as ‘Em spotted him and their eyes met. Her breath caught for the second time but now..? she couldn’t start breathing again. Bright green eyes held her. There was a whole world behind those eyes. He was beautiful. If you could call a boy that then that’s what he was. Standing there leaning up against the hummer with his arms crossed, she took in the tattoos that covered his body. Starting at his hands, they went up to the top of his shirt, showing just a little under the collar. She couldn’t look away from him. She was lost. Lost and found. There was something there in the boys eyes that she recognized. Pain. He knew pain, she could feel it. He had the same pain she did. She didn’t know how she knew this but it was as sure as the moon hung in the sky. He seemed equally entranced with her as neither looked away. She barely noticed as his friend beside him started waving his hand in front of green eyes’ face and looking at him, then at her to see what he was staring at. Even her 7 year old brother seemed to take notice.

“Em that boy is staring at you” he yelled.

“What boy..” her mom started…

At that moment the light changed and the car moved.

Emerson jerked her head around, the trance faded, suddenly embarrassed that everyone had caught her staring. But the butterflies in her stomach kept her mind thinking about him. And wondering who he was and wondering if she would ever see him again. And wondering if maybe this move was the best thing that ever happened to her.