Chapter 4

"I'm not worth these tears"

Carmiella's POV

I waited outside the school for Tessy so we both could head home, well stop at our spot where we usually talk. She's probably talking to the baseball team, she's grown some sort of interest in those group of guys, just like how she had interest in the basketball, the track and the swimming team. I feel Tessy is probably one of the reasons I've not fallen in love with anyone. She's slept with half or let's give 70% of the whole school. Tessy was kinda the definition of a how, but she could car less about how the school saw her, or even how the town saw her, she was her own girl. Not just because she's a duster child, but because she just is independent.

"Were you waiting for me?", Bryan's voice came from behind me startling me. "I was in art class sorry, I got carried away", he brought out his car keys. "Ummm.....", I started, like that words 'no' could not come out of my mouth. "Cam!", Tessy yelled out from behind us, thank God she saved me. A smile immediately came on my face as he turned around to see Tessy.

"Bitch you coming right?", She asked completely ignoring the make specimen which was so not like her. Or she does she hate him? "Yeah", I replied giving Bryan a side smile. "I'll see you at home", I said nodding and trying to keep up with Tessy.

"You hate him", I said breaking the unusual silence in the air that had stalked us for over 5minutes. She looked at me without removing her eyes from the road. "I call of dibs, I don't see what's with that guy. He's a prick". She said showing no emotion whatsoever. Yup she's definitely hating on him.

She stopped over at the shore and we took our favorite place, the lucky rock. We've been coming here since we were kids. "Shit, I might be leaving", Tessy said staring at the ocean while she lit up a cigar. "Fucking Mrs V is letting all her duster kids go. Turns out she's finally heading her old ass to rehab. They gonna relocate all her kids", she finally took a blow. Shit I can't loose Tessy. "But you don't even live there", I said trying to make sense of this. "Doesn't matter, I'm still a minor till November, course my late birthday", I could see her emotions on her face now she couldn't hide it. She was holding back down allot. "My mom wouldn't mind taking you in till then",I said already knowing her reply but trying anyways. "I rather not, I'll miss you, miss this, miss your weird virgin ass". She turned around smiling ear to ear as if she just gave me the best news of her life. A lump grew in my throat that I knew no amount of swallowing would help it down. I threw my arms around her trying to subside my heavy subs. "Hey take care of everyone aye. And you know that your new flatmate he really needs a bright star like you right now".

"Mum!", I called out as I walked through the front door, either she's upstairs, at the pool, or probably not here. "Mom!", I cried out again even more desperately, I just need her comfort hug right now, where is she?

I got into the kitchen heading straight for the fridge hoping for some leftover homemade ice cream. I opened up the fridge and only saw the store bought Vanilla, that's not so bad.

I grabbed it and headed straight for my room.

I got into my room immediately tossing my bag back at a corner. Took my phone to connect it to the speaking. The song To love-Habits, immediately set my perfect mood.

As the slow lyrics boomed out the speaker I dug into the ice cream taking in a shovel of it into my mouth.

Shit I need to pee.

I stood up from my bed with the Icecream still in hand heading straight for the bathroom.

'knock knock', the knock on the bathroom door starling me, making me remember I now shared a bathroom with someone else. "Umm hold up", I said already finishing up and standing up then flushing.

"Umm come in", the door opened to a shirtless Bryan, I couldn't help but gulp in deeply in amazement. Shit he's bleeding again. My mouth immediately dropped at the fresh cut on his wrist. He was in so much pain but I could see it wasn't from d cut. As emotionless as his face always was, only his eyes mirrored his pain, they were darker, an endless darkness. I wish I could take all his pain away, I wish I could help.

"Do you need help?", I tried to speak without cutting my tongue in the process. His face stayed still, not a sign is yes or a no. I dropped my boil on Icecream on the counter then opened the cabinet to find some spirit. Like my eyes were holding back a water fall of tears my eyes became to blurred to notice what I was doing. Why would he keep doing this? How can I help? I need to help him. I grabbed the spirit with my hands still shaking. "shit!", The spirit fell, the bottle shattering into pieces. My tears rushed out uncontrollably, what the fuck was wrong with me?

Bryan's POV

She stood there o we the broken pieces of the class bottle, staring at it without reaching for it. An endless amount of tears rushing out from her eyes uncontrollably, she didn't try to stop them. What's her issue, I'm the one bleeding why is she crying? She wasn't stopping, not anytime soon.

I took steps towards her trying to get a good view of her face more. I put my left thumb under her chin bringing her face up to mine. She didn't stop crying it only became worst. Was I causing her this much discomfort? Is this my fault. "It's ok", I said trying to convince her, trying to make her stop crying, I pulled her in a hug my arms tightly fixed around her. Please stop crying. "It's ok", I repeated helplessly trying to reduce her sobbing. Please I'm not worth these tears stop crying.