I almost jumped, surprised that he was awake.“Done with what?”“Figuring out what’s wrong with my face.” He had a cocky look on his face, his voice full of amusement.No, there was absolutely nothing wrong with that face! I got attracted with that face in the first place. But I knew, it was more than just Nick’s looks. If he wasn’t too charming, wasn’t the exact opposite of everything that ever made me hate and distrust the entire male specie, then I’d probably still be thinking that I was incapable of feeling deep emotions for another human being.I’d probably still be fooling around thinking relationships and physical contact didn’t give you a high, drive you crazy, or make you feel safe and comforted because it was not in my nature to feel those emotions. I would probably be at the giving end of a relationship, because I thought it wasn’t in my nature to be at the receiving end. I wouldn’t allow myself to breathe and be weak once in a while, because I would always think I’m all al
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. There was a trace of desperation and plea in his voice.I took a deep breath but didn’t say anything.“I’m not supposed to say this, because a gentleman is not supposed to say anything to make any girl look bad. But if it will save what we have then to hell with being a gentleman.”I turned around to face him, raising a brow, urging him to go on.He took a deep breath. “When I first saw Jen at the bar that night, after I watched your gig, I asked her if she knew you. She said you were good friends. I asked her if she could introduce us. She asked why. I told her that I thought you were cute.”What the hell?Nick took another deep breath. “She then asked me if I wanted to hang out with the two of you the next night. She’d introduce us. I took her up for it and showed up at the bar the following night. From the beginning, I thought I made it clear to her that I was interested in you. But she didn’t pick up quickly. When she was calling me, I would always ask a
“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was too much, right?”No! Couldn’t he tell I was ready now?! But I couldn’t say it. What the hell would I say?It’s okay, Nick! I’m ready to be ravished by you now!? OrStop being a damn gentleman and just stick it in!?How does a girl tell a guy she wants to have sex with him without sounding like a complete slut? I’m sure as a couple, men would appreciate their girlfriends initiating the sexual moves once in a while, but maybe not on their first time. I refused to be the one to ask for sex the first time we’re going to do it.Nick was taking deep breaths again; he was trying to calm himself down. I could see something in his eyes, as if he was scared he would hurt me. As if he was being careful not to trigger something bad inside me.That was when I realized why he wasn’t in a hurry to get me to bed. He was afraid he would bring back memories of that night he took off my clothes. He was slowly leading me in. Each time we get close like this, we become c
“It had to be him?” Brett asked with a frustrated sigh. “Of course! Every girl in this town is into that guy! You are no exception.”“You don’t like him?”“I don’t know him personally enough to like him. And I don’t like the rumors about the mischief he left behind in this town before he left a couple of years ago.”“Maybe you just have to get to know him.”“You sleeping together yet? Of course, what a stupid question! You live in his house!” Brett said, rolling his eyes.“That’s where you’re wrong. He’s not as fast as you accuse him of being. In fact, he’s a perfect gentleman. So no. I haven’t slept with him… yet.” I had to add that last bit. Because I couldn’t lie to Brett and mislead him into thinking that nothing would ever happen between Nick and me. Because I knew with the fondness we have for each other, and the passion that ignites between us when we kiss and touch, we’re headed toward the avenue of oblivion sooner or later.When we reached their table, Nick and Brett shook ea
It was eight in the evening the following Thursday and Nick and I were standing in front of a white two-story house somewhere in London. I tried to appear calm, carefree even, but deep inside, my heart was pounding inside my chest.What does a girl do during her first meeting with the family of the guy she’s dating?I felt Nick’s hand cover mine.“You look nervous,” he said.“Because I am.”He laughed. “Relax. You’ll be fine. They’ll like you. And if they don’t, I honestly don’t give a damn. But it’s impossible not to like you. You’re Ken Clarke. You always end up stealing the hearts of the people you meet, which is becoming a problem for me now, to be honest.”“Problem?” I asked.He smiled at me sheepishly. Then he stepped forward and put his arms around my waist. “Yes. I recently found out that I’m an extremely jealous and possessive guy. The other day, at Rhythemes, I wanted to rip out the throats of the guys who were eyeing you with interest.”“I thought you were extremely confide
I was so curious to know about the identity of the beautiful girl who was staying with Nick’s family. If she was an old friend, how come Nick acted as if he hated her with so much passion?When I looked at her, I found her eyeing me too. She was studying me, and Nick’s actions toward me.Nick took a small portion of the beef medallions and put it on my plate. Then he sliced a portion for himself and tasted it. Then he looked at me, slightly wrinkling his nose.“Chef Ken Clarke could teach our cook how to make the only beef medallions I could eat all day,” he whispered to me and I smiled. He was right. The dish was okay, but not great.“Actually, I cooked it,” Margot said, her face turning red. “I know they were your favorite.”I bit my lower lip in embarrassment. I looked up at Nick, but he didn’t look embarrassed at all. It looked as if he didn’t care about whatever he said in front of this girl.“Since when do you cook?” he asked in a bored tone.“I’m learning. You always said that
Great! Nick was nursing his broken heart when he laid eyes on me. Boom! Heartache gone. New adventure begins. Hello, rebound romance!Then unexpectedly, he had to face the previous axis of his world again. I couldn’t blame him. I would have a torn look on my face too if this ever happened to me. And I was not sure whether I should feel sorry for myself or for him.I took a step back. His eyes looked panicked and then he snatched me into his arms again. “No, no, kitten,” he said. “This does not change anything about what I feel for you. That chapter of my life is totally over. It’s our time now. I should have told you about her sooner. And I’m sorry about that. But nothing changed. Margot and I didn’t end in good terms. I still loathe her. Nothing changed.”That was the problem. I think it broke my heart hearing him say that he was still mad at her. Hatred and anger are very strong feelings. Like love. And sometimes, you hate your exes because you have not completely forgiven them, bec
“I mean, I’m not privy to his sexual escapades, but let’s just say that Mother never caught him with a girl in his bed. That didn’t mean he was not having sex though. It just meant he didn’t make them stay the night. And he’d always be home after a night out, which meant he didn’t want to spend his night in a bed that was not his, unless it was a hotel room and he’d be in it alone.”“I don’t believe you. Besides, he had a girlfriend for five years.” My heart sank at the thought once again.Blaze narrowed his eyes and asked, “Can you imagine how shocked she was?”“I didn’t know about Margot,” I said. “I was sort of shocked too.”“Nick didn’t mention her?”I shook my head.“Maybe because she wasn’t worth remembering.” There was a hint of bitterness in his voice when he said that.“She’s gorgeous and five years is always worth remembering,” I argued.Blaze drank his whiskey again and gave me an unimpressed smile. “Five years in a calm, boring relationship is forgettable compared to a few
Six months later, I graduated from the culinary school and became Austin’s sous-chef. I was getting excellent training from him, and the great thing about that was I didn’t feel like I was working at all. Every day was an adventure for me. Every moment was like play time. I was inventing my own fusions and Austin had considered including them in his official menu. Nick comes to New York at least three times a month. Whenever he had the chance to get away from work, he would come to me. And every time I spent with him was pure bliss, pure treasure. I have never been happier in my life. My happiness didn’t come without a price. I thought now that everything was going quite well in my life, I should let go of all the pain and anger I may still be harboring. There would no happiness without forgiveness, without healing. And to start with that, I forgave my father. The day after my graduation, I flew back to Salt Lake City to visit his grave. Nick went with me. I stared at the words on
I didn’t know how long I slept or how I got home. But when I opened my eyes, it was already morning. I realized I wasn’t lying down on the ground by the beach where I last remembered I was. Instead, a down feather duvet kept me warm as I lay comfortably on a firm mattress. The pillows, duvet, and bed covers were all white, matching the eggshell paint on the walls.At first, I thought I was in a hospital, but then I realized the bed I was in was far too comfortable and a lot wider than a hospital bed. Something about the room I was in was very familiar, as if I’ve been here plenty of times before.The next thing I realized was that I was completely naked under the sheets. I felt tired, as though I went through a rigid exercise regimen the night before. Apart from that, I was feeling a little sore there, too, in my most private part. Shit!Suddenly, I felt movement behind me. An arm draped over my waist and I felt warm kisses on my neck.I panicked!I was with a guy! I was naked! We ha
Ken“Ma’am, are you okay? Ma’am, can you hear me?”“Should we call the police?”I slowly opened my eyes and found the girl in Margaret’s diner and another guy looking at me with worried expressions on their faces. I looked around. I realized I was seated in the driver’s seat of my car, with the seat inclined. The girl was sitting on the passenger seat, holding up a small bottle of mint balm and the guy was kneeling by my car door.“What happened?” I asked, sitting up.“You fainted,” the guy said to me. “You’re lucky I was passing by when you dropped your phone and passed out. I caught you before you could hit your head. I called for help. Are you okay?”I nodded. “Th—thanks.”“Do you want to go to the hospital?” the girl asked.I shook my head. “I’ll be… I’ll be okay.”“Well, I found these on the ground,” the guy said. He handed me the pieces of my phone. “I think you’re gonna need to buy a new one.”He was right. The phone was broken that I doubt any service center could still put it
Nick.I wasn’t able to react immediately. I took a couple of hits before I came to my senses and docked and thwarted all her assaults. It took a while to convince her that maybe she was just late. I offered to get her a pregnancy kit just so she could be sure.I waited days for her to tell me that the tests came back negative, as I was sure they would be. I was positive I never touched her. How could I? I spent most of the night staring at her, watching her sleep. I was in love with her. When I do make love to her, I want her to want it, too. I wanted her to remember me. I wanted to be different from the others she had been with.I called her several times, but she was completely ignoring me. I was beginning to get worried. I realized, too, that since I backed out on my deal with her father, he would no doubt employ somebody else to charm her, woo her. Try to succeed where I failed. Well, I haven’t failed yet. In fact, I was only just starting. There were some things that I wanted to
Nick.I went inside the Rhythemes. This was new. The last time I was in town, this joint wasn’t here, not that it would make much of a difference to me anyway. I was not the type to frequent bars or go to one out of boredom. I didn’t fancy sitting at the bar, watching sex-hungry predators pick up their latest clueless prey.I would rather go to a card house. At least there, I could exercise my brains and make money out of it. No, I’m not a gambling addict. I just happened to be gifted at it. Am I counting cards? Well, where was the fun if you use mathematical equations and probabilities? But desperate times call for desperate measures.When I came back to the States, I had no family left to go to. My father was gone, leaving me with the only property he could afford. The house he left behind was too shabby and major repairs had to be done. I didn’t have enough money to build my dream house. But I couldn’t leave my father’s legacy looking like a shithole. I did what I had to do. In a y
“So, how are you doing?” I asked Brett when he visited me in New York. We were up having beer on the rooftop.“I’m fine,” he said, but his tone was not so convincing. I raised a brow at him. “By that, I mean I’m surviving information overload, trial by fire, meeting up with more people in a month than I ever did in my entire life, and trying to become the great Robert Clarke in approximately two hundred and fifty-five days. I’m losing my bachelor years too fast, but yeah, I’m all right.”I reached out and squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry. It could have been me, you know.”He nodded. “Yeah. You could have been in my shoes. But the thing is, I never dreamed of becoming a chef. I’ve always wanted to be a businessman. I can’t force this fate on you, too. It’s just things are happening too fast, too soon.”“Don’t worry, Brett. You’ll do great. Soon, you’ll be in Forbes magazine as one of the youngest, most successful CEOs in the country. It’s written in your stars. You were brilliant in schoo
Kitten,It had been six months, ten days, three hours and thirty-three minutes. I’m still waiting. Told you I would. Although I hope you never get tired of reading my letters. I will never get tired of writing them—until my last breath, remember?Brett wouldn’t tell me where you are but assured me you were okay. Right now, there is nothing more I wanted to do but to come to you. Nope, I won’t even hug you if you don’t want me to. I just want to make sure you’re okay, make you feel that everything is going to be all right. You’re not alone. You will never be.I love you, kitten.Tears were rolling down my cheeks when I read Nick’s latest letter. Brett comes to New York to check up on me once a month. He brought a bunch of letters and trinkets from Nick since he didn’t know about my new address.Nick was true to his word. He would not stop writing to me. He already said he was sorry. He gave me all the explanations in the world. He’d given me time to process and find it in my heart to
After that, everything was a blur. I felt as if I was floating like a zombie the past few days. I didn’t get much sleep, and it was as if I had matured ten years in a span of ten days. I suddenly needed to handle adult stuff that I wasn’t ready for: meeting with the police, talking to lawyers, and handling a funeral.Things happened quickly. And since an investigation was ongoing, and my father’s company was publicly listed, news of his death would hurt the company and, according to my uncle, my inheritance. He chose to have everything hushed. The funeral was opened only to blood relatives and there was no coverage on the media about it. We were also instructed not to talk to anybody without consulting with our lawyers first.The worst part of it all, I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I was feeling. No matter how bad my relationship with my father was, no matter what a madman I thought he was, he was still my father. And it was never easy losing a parent. Up until now, a part of me
I wish I could say that I was back in Nick’s house and in his life after twenty-four hours. I wish I could say we were back in each other’s arms within a week and that he proposed to me a month after. I wish I didn’t leave, and my life would have been a complete bliss. Nick would have taken care of me and we would have lived a simple but happy life. That would have been how I wanted my story with Nick to end.But life wasn’t always that simple, and it certainly was never easy. And just when you thought you got it all figured out, life throws you out of balance again.Two months. Twenty-eight days. Fourteen hours. Twenty-five minutes.That was how long it had been since I left Nick’s house. That was how long since I last saw him, since I last had a conversation with him.He calls. Every day. Sometimes more than once a day. He also sends me text messages at least three times a day: to say good morning, to remind me about lunch, and then to say good night.He writes, too. The longhand l