Chapter 1

When the crash flashed before my eyes, how it drastically crumpled every metal of the car I was in, I honestly didn't think that it was the end of the only friend I could trust.

Tiny fragments of sharp glasses pinned on his arms that protected me from the end that approached us.

In a blink of an eye, I felt numb and clueless of how we rolled over the busy highway. There's no such thing as slow motion because in just split seconds, I already saw my brother bathing in his own blood. Sharp edges of the broken glass window poked his skin, and his neck broken.

I was just a kid back then. I didn't know death could be this painful. But when Anderson's life came to an end, that's when I realized that losing someone dear to you was as painful as stabbing your own chest a thousand times.

He's a part of me. We're half of each other, as what people say for we grew in the same womb at the same time.

Now, I have to wake up without seeing him at the bottom of our bunk bed, snoring like an old man got choked in his steak. I have to do things that we usually do together alone now. It was a major adjustment, until I am slowly getting used to it.

For the first time in my life, I stood behind the podium to deliver a story that he once wrote that speaks what his heart wanted to say.

It was his anniversary. Four years is quite a long time, but it felt like it was yesterday when the last time he smiled at me. Funny how we're once this unbreakable bond until death separated us from each other.

"You know, this is... I'm sorry. I'm just not used being up here like my brother sending giggles to you all with his usual puns." I took a deep breath and faked a smile. "Anderson is everyone's favorite, though it sounds really upsetting that we're twins and he got a bunch of fans simping over his long wavy hair. He ate the conditioner that's why."

The crowd before me laughed, as if they remembered my brother's best asset that mostly everyone admires. But behind those smiles, I know there are still grieving souls like I am who never forget the pain of not being able to see him in flesh. It's just not as easy as what some people thinks.

I can still remember the first time I walk into this podium. With trembling knees, I tried speaking the words I meant for him but it was just too much for me. I could barely continue without choking up.

"Addi, are you okay?" Ma asked when everyone left the mausoleum. If anyone here knows how hard it was for me to swallow his absence, it would be my mother. We've been through this together, living with only the two of us since my good father left home and never came back even before Andie and I were born.

I nodded. Deep inside, I know I will eventually be okay.

"I'll be waiting for you in the car," she added and left me sitting in front of my brother's marble grave next to my grandmother's.

I sighed and frowned, trying to stop the tears I've been trying to hold for hours. If he's here, he'll surely make fun of how I look stupid when crying. Because that's his stuff that I always miss.

"Hey," I spoke. The moment my eyes landed on his epitaph, waterfalls flow down my eyes. I strum his name with my fingertips and placed my forehead on it, almost wishing to follow Andie wherever he was right now.

"You know what, I finished another novel. If you’re still alive, you’re probably be the first one to critic it since you’re so good at it." I choke back a sob as I felt my chest slowly tightened. "Yeah, as you can see, I am still your dumb twin sister who lives in the shadow of her admirable stupid brother. But hey, I'm trying my best creating my own path like you said."

It will always take a lot of courage whenever I tried to speak to Andie how insecure I am of how sociable he is. How he was liked by many until today, as I always am his complete otherwise. But above all else, he's the only friend I could trust for the reason that he's the only person whom I can find comfort. And even those insecurities I feel about him, I can never take a step away from being his number one fan.

"I'll be entering college soon. Remember the time when you said I'll glow-up when I enter college? Guess it's not going to happen."

I stayed for a couple of minutes just talking to his grave, sharing what I have been through for the past months I was away. And just when I'm about to hear my mother's car honk, I already bid goodbye as I walked outside with my puff eyes.

"Where do you want to go?" Mama asked and smiled, enough to pacify me.

"I just want to go home, Ma," I answered and rested my head against the seat.

"Okay. Should I drive you at my house or you'll stay in your apartment?"

"I guess I'll stay in my apartment, Ma. Is that okay?"

Mama nodded and started the car as she drove to my place. Even if we only have each other, she decided to rent an apartment for me to stay in. The opening of classes is fast approaching and my mother's house is quite far from the city. To lessen the expenses of riding miles away from the school, Mama chose to let me live near the area. At least I can also learn how to do things on my own.

"Call me if you need anything, alright?" she said before waving her hands goodbye. I waved back, watching her car disappear from my sight. Her having two jobs in one day sometimes doesn’t give the both of us chance to spend time with each other. It's just sad that even if she's the only one I could confide on, I still find it hard to tempo on her presence.

I went to my apartment and took a seat to my bed. I've been living here for a week now, trying to get used to the environment where I have no one else to be with. My mother is still helping me with my daily needs though, even if we’re miles apart.

With all the thoughts in mind, I tried to sleep everything away. At the side of my bed climbed my white ball of fur, came strolling towards me meowing all the way.

"Hey there, little buddy."

Foomi rubbed his head on my cheeks, stuffed himself in my neck and meowed. "Are you hungry?"

He meowed once again, so I decided to carry him in my shoulders and went to my cupboard. When I saw that there's nothing for him to eat, I sighed.

"Dear me!"

I put Foomi on the floor and took my keys from my pocket. He's probably really that hungry because we've been away for hours.

From a distance, there is a convenient store where I buy stuff. I remember seeing cat foods on sale there. It would be a bummer if they don't.

As I entered the glass door, the door chime clinks, as if a cue to the lady behind the counter to glance at me and smile.

"Hi," I greeted and went to her direction. "Do you, by any chance, have cat foods here?"

"Ah, yes. Good thing there's four cans left in the box." She then took out a box with four cans of cat food left. My brows furrowed as I remembered there's a bunch of here before.

"I honestly thought I could have more of these, today," I mumbled trying to keep it to myself but the lady's ear is sharper than her eyebrows.

"About that, a guy actually bought everything earlier before you arrived. He's probably feeding a dozen of fur-balls that’s why."

"Is that so?"

She smiled. Instead of going back home with nothing in my hand, I bought the remaining cat food and went to my apartment few blocks away from the convenience store.

"Foomi," I called when I opened the door. I thought he'll walk towards me meowing while rubbing his head on my legs like the usual, but to my surprise I saw him having the best of his life in his own meal.

"How did you-"

I stared at his new bowl on the floor. I can't remember buying him a pink bowl. It was just right at the doorstep, as if someone had put it through the door.

I wandered my eyes around, hoping that I could see a shadow or a track from someone who gave this to my cat. However, I saw nothing but me and the dim-lit hallway. My chest tightened and cold breeze brushed against the back of my neck in an instant for no reason at all.

"Shocks," I mumbled and zoomed inside my apartment. "Who the heck gave you that food?" I asked my cat who's enjoying his meal and not minding me.

Until something came to my mind. I immediately took his food and sniffed it. With the fear of Foomi getting food poisoned, I decided to just throw it away. I just couldn't trust someone giving my cat a food that I didn't see how it was prepared.

But whoever gave that to Foomi and has no intention of poisoning my cat at all, I would like to apologize and thank him for being such a Good Samaritan.

I gave Foomi a new bowl with cat foods I bought earlier. Maybe I should ask the landlord if I could request a new door – The secure one just in case.

It's already six in the evening, a time where I usually stay in front of my desktop and typing my drafts for another novel I'm working on. So I went to my table and turned on my computer, before heading back to the kitchen and prepared my instant meal.

Right after I sat on the chair, Foomi suddenly jumped to my lap that almost made me spill the noodles I am holding. Good thing I am quick enough to place it in the table before I could burn myself and my cat.

I prefer doing this in this hour. My neighbors are really quiet maybe because they weren't home at this hour and working on their shifts. So I got all the peace I needed to concentrate working on my craft.

Or so I thought.

Right in the middle of my scribbling, I stopped my fingers from tapping when something peculiar kept poking my ears from the other room.

"Argh..."

I stared at the space and tried to shove the noise away but as moments passed, the moan keeps louder and louder.

"Argh! Sh*t!"

I couldn't help but felt goose bumps all over my body. It wasn't a moan of pleasure. It sounds like somebody was trying to endure something painful. I stopped from doing my stuff and listen to the disturbing sound coming from the other side of the wall.

"H-Hello?" I called, trying not to stutter but it still escaped my mouth. My chest tightened once more as my heart pounded loud and fast.

"Is everything alright?" I asked. Hoping that he'll respond, I waited.

I still felt like there’s something wrong behind that wall, but I struggled to stop my curiosity and calmed myself down as I walk back to my chair. But right before I could place my fingertips on the keyboard, a groan from the other side of the wall brought the shit out of me.

"H-Help."