I haven't gotten out of bed in seven days, only getting up to use the bathroom and sip some water. With all the tears I have cried, my body craved all the liquid I would allow myself to consume. The first day, I cried. I cried throughout the night, the evening of heartbreak playing over and over in my head. Could I have said something differently to make him not react the way he did? The answer to that is no. But I could not except that. The second day, I continued to cry, except this day, my mother came into my room. I claimed sick, which wasn't false. I couldn't eat which left me dry heaving when my body begged for me to help itself. "Do I need to call a doctor?" She had asked, pressing a thin hand to my forehead. I dodged it and pulled my covers up and over my unwashed hair. "Oh my Heavens, are you pregnant?""No, Momma. Leave me alone. I'm sick," I droned, closing my eyes to block it all out. My mother ignored me like normal and yanked on my sheets to expose me again. "I'm cal
You know when your mind sees something that is so utterly beautiful, so unworldly that it distinctively focuses on the pinnacle of its interest, zeroing in on that magnificent sight, having everything else blur in the background?That's what Nate's eyes did to me. The golden, caramel orbs locked on mine and it was all I could see. His eyes are red rimmed as if the surgery was still taken its toll but his face is bare and so responsive. The butterflies, the ones that have become paralyzed a few weeks back, twitch and flutter when Nate's pupils dilate and his clear, breathtaking eyes roam around my face before dropping down my body. I hold my breath as he does so, wanting so badly to see what he is seeing. One of his family members behind me says something but it is muffled in my ears and Nate either ignores it or doesn't hear them either because he remains unmoving in the doorway while I stay crouched in my position of the floor, my letter forgotten about. It is held limply in my h
The sun beats down on the back of my neck as I pile my hair on top of my head for a mid afternoon shift at Linc's. The door dings happily which somewhat lifts my perpetual gloomy mood. Several regulars smile or kindly wave at me as I make my way behind the counter and I do my best to return them.Lennette eyes me over her hand pad. "You look lovely today, Sweetpea."She is just being nice. I look how I have looked the past couple of weeks. Which is drained. But I know that she is tredding water around me because she has been less nosey than usual."Thank you." I grab my apron from the hook over her right shoulder and tie it around my waist.I can feel Levi, Lennette, and even Gary watching me through out my shift. No customers have complained because I have perfected a false cheery attitude down to a T thanks to cheerleading, but I know they can tell my heart is not in it.Seeing Nate at school has been the definition of torture. I did it to myself, I know, but being alone is harder t
The grass is soft under my bare feet as I make my way from my backyard to Nate's. My stomach coils with nerves and I pull my sweater lower against my palms as a nervous habit as I duck under a low tree branch. I nearly jump out of my skin when I see Nate pacing on the other side of the tree near his patio doors. I must have gasped at the sight of him or maybe I stepped on a branch, but for whatever reason, he stops and locks eyes with mine. "You came," he says as if he wasn't believing what he is seeing. His face, always clear now without his glasses obstructing the view of those wishing to admire him, looks serene but slightly distracted. I stay by my spot at the tree and play more with the sleeves of my sweater. "Of course I did. You asked me to." My voice is off, nervous--terrified, really--as I watch him, watching me. It's still so strange to know that he can actually see now. I want to know what he sees in me. Does he see what I see? A stupid girl who can't seem to get her
Nate looks over his shoulder and gazes reverently down at me. "I want to take you somewhere to show you something."I can physically feel the whiplash of tonight's events. "Let me go get my car," I suggest and start to pull him the opposite way but he pulls me so I am flushed against his body. He grins down at me while reaching into his pocket and pulls out a set of keys to dangle in front of my face. "I can drive." My mouth wobbles open and close at the fact that I momentarily forgot that he can see again. Before, I always forgot that he couldn't and now it is the other way around. Nate rolls his eyes dramatically. "I have my license, babe."My mouth snaps shut and my heart warms at the endearment that I will never not fill my stomach with butterflies. I lean up and kiss him longingly before lacing my fingers back with his and allow him to pull me to his car. It seems that his parents have bought him a black pickup, which makes me laugh when he opens the passenger side door for
Nate grips my hand tighter as we make our way through the airport. People rush around us, running to catch their planes while Nate and I are clearly hesitant in leaving each other's sight. The clear sound of last calls ring through the vast area, setting the deep tendrils of dread to cling on tightly. These past months with Nate only set me up for more sorrow as the ticking time bomb known as the future krept up like a ghost lurking amongst the living. We have spent every waking moment together and the thought of being seperated for a single second hurts more than I would like to dwell on."Maybe I could stay another week," Nate suggests, looking around the airport as if someone would agree with him and that would make it settled. "We still haven't gotten to that circus movie you wanted to go to. There's still time.""Nathaniel," I say with a smile because the thought of spending more time with him is tempting. "Your summer program starts on Monday. There isn't anymore time.""That'
NATE'S POV "Are you even listening to me?" Molly questions as she wrings her hands in her lap. I mumble a yes but my eyes stay glued on Kelly Henderson as she sits by herself on a park bench.Why was she alone? She is never alone. There is always some girl or group of people surrounding her like a swarm of bees. But I guess that's the type of attention you get when you're queen bee."No, you are not. Nathaniel!" Molly waps me on the arm and I flinch back. "This is serious. She kissed me. And..." Molly's face reddens and she gnaws at her lip. Trent talks a lot about Molly's lips. I think he has a crush on her. "I liked it.""Maybe you're Katy Perry," I offer as insight. Truth is, I wasn't really listening. But my cheeks burn a little at her confession. I did hear that.Molly's eyes roll skyward and she doesn't smile like I expect her to. Usually I could make her laugh seeming she found me too geeky to function, as she put it, but I like her. She is a little rough around the edges but
NATE'S POV"You don't have to start today," my mother tells me while sitting in her Traverse. "We can try again in another week. There's no rush.""No, I don't want to get more behind."I can tell she is nervous by the way she is chomping her gum. I can imagine her knuckles stressing white as she grips the steering wheel.My mother laughs softly. "You're the smartest kid in this school, Natty. There's no way you could fall behind. Plus," she rubs my back affectionately, "I did a pretty good job on my end last year."I roll my eyes behind the dark framed glasses I have taken a liking to since Trent gifted them to me for my birthday last year which I spent in the hospital. "Now you look like Zac Efron in one of those chick films," my friend had said with what I imagined was a strutt and a model turn around my hospital bed. The raybans may look cliche, but it bothers me when people can see my eyes and I can't see theirs."I would say I was more of the teacher and you the student," I joke