CHAPTER SIX: IN MEMORY OF THE LIVING

XANDER’S POV

My eyes ran over the scorching sun as I puffed another smoke in the air, letting the stinging taste of the whiskey burn my chest badly. This was just a glimpse of what I deserved for what I did to my mate. Even though It had been seven years, I still couldn’t stop blaming myself for showing up in her life. If only I had let her be. If only I never got down from the car the other day. Suppose I had ignored my wolf’s endless pleas to meet her just on my way back from a meeting. But her smell had grasped me, welcoming me as I approached the bar. Yet, with each step I took, I could feel my anger boiling at the thought of another man touching her. I felt a wave of relief just seeing her sit there alone, drowning in her sorrow. Somehow, I felt something tearing at my chest, and I could feel her pain, her sadness, and at that time, I had wanted nothing more than to take it all away.

I ran my thumb over my neck where her name was tattooed, Beatrice. It had taken a few punches to get Kia to reveal her name. I could remember her body being taken out after they found her cold and lifeless in her room with a note.

“The goddess had mated me to the one man I will never love. One so ruthless and without a heart. Dying is of more respect than spending another second close to him. Maybe my fate will be better in the next life.” It had read, and every time I remembered her words, I would feel my heart rip over and over again. 

What was I thinking anyone would ever love me for me? Thinking that they wouldn’t just leave the same way Mother did. For years, I had built my walls so high that no one would ever be able to reach them. I had learned to brace my heart for the worst. 

“Baby.” Her voice rang from behind before her arms wrapped around my chest, her bare body against mine. “I need you.” 

I puffed out another before placing the burning tip against my tongue to quench it. “Get dressed and leave,” I ordered, moving away from this black-haired female whose name I didn’t even know. She was just like every other woman I brought here every time to satisfy my urges. But none was anything close to Beatrice. Was it her innocence? Or the way she had wrapped her legs behind my back with her nails digging into my shoulders as she moaned. Or the way her grey eyes shone as pleasure coursed through her body.

“But baby…” Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I clenched my teeth hard.

“If you let me repeat that, you will hate every core of yourself.” I seethed and watched her tremble as she quickly grabbed her rumbled cloth and dashed out of the room. I ran my fingers through my hair before gulping the last of the whisky and putting on my shorts.

There was a knock on the door, and it pushed open to reveal Ryder.

“You have a meeting with Strings Tech’s Manager in fifteen minutes, Sir.” 

“Cancel it,” I responded and watched his expression change. “What?”

“This will be the fifth time we are cancelling it, Sir. You have two more meetings after that.” 

I let out a grunt. Yes, I was looking for a company competent enough to help me achieve my goal. To help me build something in memory of Beatrice. This was the least I could do for her, and it was about time I stopped sulking and pushed it forward. However, no company has caught my fancy yet.

“Alright. Five minutes is all I have to spare. Get the staff to clean this room and dispose of my clothes. and I don’t want her scent on them.” I informed, ignoring his shocked expression as I exited the room. I had thought he would be used to that by now. Having another woman’s smell on anything I owed always made me feel like I was cheating on my dead mate. 

I picked up my special suitcase in the second hotel room. The whole place was fully booked for three days before I had to return home. There it was, lying in the bag, the clothes I wore the night we met. Even though her smell gradually faded off it, I still let myself sniff it. This was all I had left; the hotel staff back then had washed the sheets and everything with any trace of her, and I made sure they paid dearly for that.

Shoving it back in, I stepped towards the restroom and let the sponge peel every layer of my skin I knew the black-haired girl touched. I could feel her there when I closed my eyes. Everything from that night flashed through my mind all over again, and I desperately wished that I could go back in time and stop us from meeting.

Soon, I was done sitting in the lounge and reading through a newspaper while I awaited the manager. Suddenly, I caught a sniff of the most intoxicating yet alluring scent I had ever sensed in seven years, and worse, it smelled exactly like her that night. I knew that had to be impossible.

“She is here.” My wolf, Nyx, wagged his tail excitedly, and I ran towards the scent. Only to see a female standing there, her back turned towards me. Her caramel hair cascaded over her shoulder. The smell grew stronger, yet I knew it had to be my mind playing a trick on me. The effect of sniffing the cloth a million times every day.

“I believe you are here to see me,” I announced, slightly annoyed that this manager would think of wasting my time.

When she turned around, my eyes met her grey ones. The same woman I had spent years beating myself over.