I'm sinking, very fast. I tried to open my eyes, but the world around me was just a blur, an illusion. Unreal. Could it be real? I was surrounded by bright lights and muffled voices, but I couldn't lift my head to see where they were coming from. A man wearing a white shirt appeared in the field of vision and spoke up. Agent Mulder? I'm in an episode of X-Star Profile. No, it's absurd. The scientist? Doctor? Crazy man with a scalpel? I couldn't make out what he was saying, but his face seemed full of assurance, false promises, clichés meant to appease me. Then a tunnel of blue light surrounded me. I wanted to say something, or sit up, but the pain was too intense. My heavy eyes closed, and I sank back into silence. There were times when I was half awake and half asleep but couldn't remember anything. Time is not clear. Not now, or next, or after. Only pain. More pain, less pain. That's the only thing that doesn't change. I am sinking. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. There is no botto
"I'm sorry, Kitten," he whispered. Is he apologizing? In Eric, guilt was almost never the case, and the last thing I expected. My face showed at the same time a snort-joke-funny-crying-cry, making me feel excruciatingly painful. I almost laughed again. Would laugh if breathing wasn't so painful. "For what they did to me." Yes, he's sorry, but not for abducting me from the house. "Good." Home. My family. Everything happened because I wanted to go back to my trash mother. Even if she didn't want me there. Never. No matter how many times I said sorry. My eyes ached. Can't believe I'm still in tears for her. I hate her. I hated her, for loving her so much, and she clearly didn't feel the same way. Eric cleared his throat and swallowed. “I made them pay.” They. A bunch of people, which could be worse than Eric. I felt shaky again, but hearing those words from Eric's mouth gave me a little satisfaction. "Well," I said smugly, "you like that." A smile crept across his lips, and for some r
“I made them pay.” He whispered again, his voice cold and short, but the words meant nothing to me, even though I suspected they were extremely important to him. Only his arms mattered, just the hard, solid feeling of tangible flesh enclosing me was enough. His embrace does everything his lips can't or won't do, they tell you you're safe and I'll protect you, even look like you care for me, even if It's chaotic, but everything is chaotic. Through it all, his lips just kept repeating, "I made them pay," and I felt something different but still very real, more real than anything. I hate him but at the same time I don't hate him, I don't understand anything anymore, worse than myself. I wept for a long time, taking solace in his deceptively comfortable arms. Illusions, fantasies, very helpful. I never wanted to leave. I want to stay here forever, clutching his chest, his fingers brushing my hair, his heartbeat in my ears: you-be-safe, trust-me-love, love you. Love. Do I want him to lov
“Eric…” “It's not, you know.” He must have read the confusion on my face and looked forward to it, for he immediately went on, “While sleeping. I said it's not all my fault, that's true - I'm not at fault here. It's…It's just not.” There is a tight knot in my throat. No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't swallow it down. It got stuck there, choking me. Eric's fingers slide across the sheets toward my feet, then pause and then retreat back into place. Why can't he just be a cruel, emotionless bastard so I know his roles and mine? Why does he keep changing from cold and unforgiving, to pleasant and warm? pressure? “What have they done to you, Kitten? Can you talk to me?” His eyelids closed and I wondered what he was hiding. Is it because of me? No reason at all. He tortured, imprisoned, beat and forced me into circumstances beyond my imagination. And now, now he feels…something to me? A voice in his head reminded him that, despite everything he'd done to me, there would alway
What happened to you, Eric? Who did this to you? And why are you doing this to me now? I looked at his face, his features hard but not showing his usual attitude. But I still feel it. At one point, in all the knowledge I gathered from movies and radio, I realized the intensity of humanity and why I was drawn to that fantasy world. Each work tries to show the human condition, in all its good, bad and worst aspects. At first, it was just an extension of my own life, strangely reflected in that 'fictional' world. Every story wants, doesn't - needs to - to reveal the fragility, the bond that connects people to what they do and who they have in mind. Those stories are a bit real and sometimes horrifying, but people are still people, and parts don't tell the whole story. I have seen many different parts of this man named Eric. What would his whole being, unprotected and vulnerable? Who is this man that can do this to me, to anyone, and still be able to live well? And what kind of person a
“He kissed me. That was my first kiss. He had a taste of beer, but that wasn't too bad. For some reason, I've always loved the taste of wine. He kisses me and my mind spins. When he told me to open my mouth… I did. Then everything was different. I'm not interested anymore. His tongue was sticky and kept moving inside my mouth like a snake, in and out. It's horrible. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me." “My mother came in and caught me. Paulo jumped. His damned erection bulged in those ridiculous panties. But she wasn't mad at him. She was mad at me. She looked at the TV then back at us. I tried to explain but she just said, 'Is that what you do when I go to bed, Nana? Are you wearing some prostitute clothes and trying to seduce your father?" “'He's not my father.' I said that, but that's not the point. I tried to explain that he was the one who kissed me. Not by my request. I don't really want him to do that. Paul said nothing. It's like he knows it's all about us and about
There's a reason I don't want to sleep. I don't want to dream. I don't want to think about my mother, or Paulo, or my brothers and sisters. Or everything between Eric and me. I especially don't want to picture Nicole, beautiful, lost Nicole wandering around Mexico looking for me. If anything happens to her, I will never forgive myself. I was tossing and turning as anger, sadness, and worry swirled through my mind. The pain in my shoulder didn't help, and rolling over caused a dull ache as if it were part of my bones. And then the inevitable happened. Whispering voices. Memories of being crushed while they stripped me of my clothes. The way they ignored my screams while they sucked and held me. Once again, I felt it again - the crushing blow. Against the power of the potion, I forced myself to open my eyes and shouted. Trying to draw in air for my burning lungs, I tried to focus again. Eric's body jerked in his seat, then he turned on the light. Awareness comes. I'm safe. I'm her
"What's up?" he asked, his voice low. "Tell me." “I think I'm tired of trying to run away, but I'm also tired of not knowing what terrible thing will happen to me next. I'd rather know than Eric. Please, tell me and give me some time…” Sitting there, I didn't really know what I was talking about, but the wiser part of me did. Get ready… Eric's blond hair, usually neatly combed, was now falling into his eyes. I resisted the sudden urge to push them away from his face. As I sat still in the meaningful silence, I watched him stare into my lap. His jaw was tight, his lips pursed, but I wasn't afraid. I'm tired of being scared of Eric. If he wanted to hurt me, he would have done it already. He wants to tell me. I just need to wait. I continued to stay silent, waiting for the words I longed for from him, my heart almost choking in my throat when I asked him to continue. "If only I hadn't laid eyes on you, never met you..." His regretful words caused a sharp pain deep in my chest, even th
It's just a feeling, but I've been feeling it for a while. Someone is following me. I contacted Kudo, and he seriously sent some scouts to see if I was in danger. He was supposed to see me in a few days, in the name of investigating a fake case. During that time, he wanted me to behave normally. He didn't want my stalker to find out I knew.Kudo said he had heard several reports of people targeting Raymond's allies. Raymond has been missing for over a year and his government is not happy about it. They think the FBI has something to do with his disappearance. Of course they have no proof. Kudo didn't seem too upset about that, though. The culprit is clearly an unknown person. He freed eighteen women from sexual slavery.When I first heard the news, I immediately thought it might be Eric, and my heart felt like it was being squeezed by someone. Kudo didn't say it, but I think he might as well suspect Eric. It showed in the way he asked if I was likely to know who the person was or if s
Johnny sits across from former Miss Yena Ruiz. She looks terrible. Her long dark hair was pulled back from her face and pulled into a messy bun. She has dark circles under her eyes and doesn't eat much either. The lack of food kept her in the hospital for another 72 hours, but they couldn't keep her once she decided she wanted to leave. Agent Sloan was also in the room. The revelations of the case were hard to swallow for her, too, and Johnny wished there was some way to comfort her without misleading her into thinking he was seducing her. She went to his room after visiting Yena at the hospital, and learned about his last conversation with Yena. They discussed the case for a while, but then she wanted to talk about the night they had sex, and he had to tell her frankly that it was just a one-night stand. She called him a coward. He called her even worse. “Is this the last piece of paper?” Anne Caliph asked. “Yes,” Johnny said. “Once you step out of this room, you will be Anne Cali
“Why don't you let me decide for myself what is right? I want to stay with you.” I said choked. My heart rate increased, and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. You're giving me a chance to go back home, back to my life, back to what I said I wanted - but all I can think about is, it doesn't matter if That means I'll never see you again. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and pressed his forehead against it, “You don't know what you want, Nana, and what you want, you're just brainwashed into wanting them.” I immediately inhaled, trying to protest; He raised his hand to stop me. “I've been doing this for a long time - manipulating people to my liking. That's why I think I love you. Because you broke me and then put me back together and made me believe it. This is not an accident. Once you've left everything behind…you'll see that." I could barely see him through the mist of tears clouding my vision. Eric believed what he said. I could hear it in his voice – but he was w
I was just unbuttoning my shirt when it happened. There was a huge explosion and something hit me right in the face. I reached up to touch my cheek. The breath left me in a heartbeat. Eric was above me, screaming, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Looks like I didn't hear anything. My head ached. I bumped it to the floor when Eric lunged at me. Bricks flew everywhere. “Nana!” Eric shouted as he shook me. It pierced the silence in my head. BOOM! Another flood of rubble flew towards us. Eric lay on top, covering my face with his hands while burying his head near my shoulder. There's someone out there shooting at us. My eyes drifted to the door and I could see huge holes in what used to be wood. We rolled to the back of the bed. My whole body was shaking and I had no idea what was going on. Eric was pushing me and I cried out in pain. “Get in the tub!” He shouted. Then he pushed me again. I managed to get up on my hands and knees. Crawling towards the bathroom, I squirmed in
The mansion is very quiet, strangely quiet. No Felipe. No Celia. No Raymond. Eric didn't answer and I didn't ask any questions.It was very hot outside, even though it was only early morning. I realized I hadn't stepped outside in a long time, under the bright sun. I am wearing clothes. I was…free. My footsteps stopped when that realization hit. FREE!“The truck isn't far, keep going,” Eric said coldly.I felt myself choking, an excited laugh escaping my lips, “Where are we going?” I said with tears of joy in my eyes."Please don't ask. Just go with me.”I looked at him, the pain on his face was so intense. Now is not the time to argue with you. Whatever he was doing, it seemed like a big deal. It will change everything between the two of us, but he is begging me to go with him, and when the man you love asks you to go with him – you will.We walked less than a mile, but I was amazed at the overall scale of Felipe's mansion. Whatever his business is, it's probably making a profit. We
Fear aside, I parted my lips and let his tongue invade my mouth. He groaned as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him down on top of me. I tug on his dirty shirt and he pulls away from the kiss just long enough to pull it over his head. Sand and blood, I'm sure, fell on my face, but I just wiped them off with the back of my hand and continued to kiss Eric. His hands were everywhere at once, touching my hair, pulling me close, squeezing my breasts. His pillow hill slid between my knees, pushing them apart. I opened my legs and let Eric's lower belly press against me. I can feel his masculinity, confined in his jeans, pressing against his inner thighs. As we pounced on each other, a part of his wild personality seeped into me and before I knew it, I pushed him aside. He grabbed my shirt and let out a sound I understood to be a warning. “Yours, Eric. I promise," I said. I grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, exposing my breasts to Eric. His mouth came in, causi
Eric has been gone for hours. I sat on the floor, next to his gun, waiting for something to happen, anything. So many times I thought about leaving the room and looking for him, but still tried to convince myself to give up the idea. Eric told him to wait. So I wait.A sense of dread began to rise as I saw light seeping through the curtains. The sun was rising and Eric hadn't come back yet. I wonder if Celia will return, but I doubt it will. The bridge between us has been completely burned down. The only consolation was knowing that she would keep Felipe from harming me.Suddenly, there was a very loud thud at the door, and then another hour. My heart almost jumped in my throat, but then I remembered Eric said he'd knock twice. I reached for the gun, just in case.I watched the revolving door handle and when the door swung open I could barely absorb what I was seeing. Eric stood in the doorway. His body was covered in mud. Blood stains everywhere.“Eric?” I managed to whisper, but sti
“There will be no trial,” Kudo said. He started walking again, a fist resting on the back of his neck. “I know how it is. I don't want to believe it, but I know. I've been arguing with my boss for the past few hours. There will be…” Kudo seemed very flustered. “There will be a lot of arrest warrants, I'm sure. Those who are auctioned will no doubt be taken to a shelter, but… no justice will be served. Not the kind that those victims deserve.” "How can that be?" I sobbed. “How could you let that happen?” “Raymond is a senior officer in the Pakistani Army, Nana. His government will not allow a scandal to get out. They agreed to let our government take part in the raid on the condition that they keep their men out of the way. When the chaos is over, it's up to them to decide who's present and who's not, that's how international political organizations work." I felt like someone had just hit me in the chest with a heavy wooden stick. For the second time in my life, I understood Eric's
“Are you sick?” Eric whispered. His blond brows furrowed nervously. I've never seen him like this. He looks so happy and peaceful. I reached up and stroked his beautiful face. "I am fine." He wiped my eyes, "Then why are you crying?" "I don't know," I replied and continued to run my hand over his face. "I think I'm just happy." He smiled, "Strange reaction to happiness, but that's okay." He bent down and licked away one of my tears. I squirmed, “What are you doing?” I laugh. "I'm curious," he whispered seriously. "About what?" “Will happy tears taste the same as sad tears?” he replied. His words made me cry harder. I can't control them. I am overwhelmed by everything. "And?" I managed to ask. "I think they're sweeter," he replied, kissing me, "but maybe it's just your face." We burst out laughing. I heard voices. I sat up in bed. For a few seconds, I forgot where I was. The room is very small. There are bars on the window frames. The bed wasn't Eric's. “I can't come back