Chapter Twenty-Nine

The soft murmur of voices surrounded April as she stood by her father’s coffin, holding onto Tally’s hand for support. The church was filled with mourners, some family, some distant friends of her late fathers, but April’s attention was fixed solely on the casket before her. Her father, once a pillar of strength, now lay in quiet repose, an almost peaceful expression on his face. The thought felt wrong, too final. There was so much more to say, so much left unsaid between them. The last few years of sickness had been telling on him. Even if she wished for more time. This earth could not hold him. His mind might have been sharp until the end, but his body hadn’t been.

Tally, ever the rock, stood by her side, squeezing her hand lightly in support. She hadn’t known Tally long, but in the time they had spent together, Tally had become April’s anchor. April’s heart felt heavy with gratitude, and yet the weight of her secrets almost choked her. Her friends from university couldn’t be with her now, but she was glad to have Tally. A new but true friendship.

“April,” Tally whispered, leaning in closer, her voice soft and comforting. “You’re in a world of pain now. But it will get easier and you will remember the good times.”

April managed a weak smile. It wasn’t much, but it was the best she could do. She had to stay composed, not just for herself, but for the image she had created, the identity she was hiding behind. The veil hid her face, a symbol of the walls she had built around herself at this moment. No one knew who she truly was, not even Tally. And as much as April longed to confide in her, she couldn’t bring herself to reveal everything just yet. Not here, not now. She knew he would be coming, and she wasn’t ready for him to know it was her. She couldn’t hide the changes in her body, but she could hide her face.

The thought of Noah broke her focus, and April’s gaze flicked nervously to the church. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw the tall, commanding figure of Noah standing at the back of the church, his sharp features as striking as she remembered. His eyes scanned the room, but she felt the weight of his gaze, a reminder of the past she wasn’t ready to face.

Tally squeezed her hand once more before pulling away. “I’m going to sit with Ryan. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

April nodded, her throat tight as she watched Tally make her way to the back of the room. But it wasn’t her friend that occupied April’s mind now. It was Noah. She turned her attention back to her father’s coffin, willing herself to focus on the grief of the moment. She would miss him. He had been her rock.

But then, like a magnet, Noah’s presence seemed to pull at her attention.

Every so often, she would glance toward the back of the church, where he still stood, observing the mourners. It didn’t matter if she was May or April. He was still the man who had hurt her, who had betrayed her in ways she couldn’t even explain. But that didn’t stop her heart from racing every time she caught sight of him. Stupid, really. Here she was mourning the loss of her beloved father and she was thinking about him. April turned away from the man who had broken her heart to the one man lost to her now who had always loved her. She had been enough for him.

Noah’s eyes had narrowed as he watched her. Something about the woman standing at the coffin. The veil covered her face, leaving only her silhouette visible, but there was a grace to her posture, a confidence that wasn’t there when he’d last seen her. April had been different back then, timid, unsure of herself. This woman, whoever she was, had changed. The way she moved, the way she held herself, spoke of a woman who had grown, a woman who had endured hardship and come out stronger. He was part of the reason she had faced hardship. Something he would have to deal with.

He found himself leaning forward slightly, his curiosity piqued. But then the realization hit him: he hadn’t seen April in four years. Could it really be her? 

She had lost a lot of weight, but that wasn’t what unsettled him most. He’d known her when she was younger, before the world had caught up with her, before the changes that had surely come with time. But still, there was something about her.

Noah’s brow furrowed as he watched her, feeling guilt over how he had treated her in the past. He had been a dick. But it wasn’t enough to compel him to approach her, not yet. Not here. He needed to apologize for his behavior towards her, but now wasn’t the time or the place. 

April felt Noah’s eyes on her and shuddered involuntarily. She could feel the weight of his gaze, the intensity of his scrutiny. She knew he hadn’t recognized her—not yet. But she couldn’t shake the fear that he might soon.

And when he did, would he see the woman she had become, or would he only see the girl he had left behind? The girl who had once loved him, who had once believed in their future together. Not anymore, she needed to move on…Who was she kidding, feeding herself that lie. She told herself she didn’t love him, but she did.

She moved away from her father’s coffin, taking her place at one of the front pews. Her fingers tightened around the edge of the barrier in front of her as the emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

What was she going to do about Noah? She was still his wife. Despite everything, she was still tied to him, bound by a marriage. But she would change that soon. Her father was gone, and she didn’t need Noah. And yet, here she was, hiding behind a veil, hoping to remain invisible. Hoping that Noah would never find out who she truly was. She was April, but she was May as well. 

April’s mind swirled as she tried to push back the tide of emotions. The grief over her father’s death was one thing, but the unresolved feelings for Noah were another. She couldn’t face him. Not now, not with everything that had happened between them. And yet, she couldn’t stop herself from wondering what would happen if they spoke again. What would he say? What would he think when he realized who she was? What if he found out today? Would he hate her as she fantasized about hating him?

It felt like the room was closing in on her. She felt so alone. 

Suddenly, Noah stood up from his seat and began to move toward the front of the church. April’s pulse quickened, and she instinctively looked away from his direction, her heart pounding in her chest. Her hand trembled as she clutched the hem of her veil, trying to keep herself composed.

Noah’s footsteps grew closer, and before she could react, he was standing beside her. His voice was low, his words unsure, as if he wasn’t sure what to say. “April?”