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Prologue
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2021-06-17 02:04:57Sometimes, we have this strong desire in us; a desire that makes us in great need for a change, so we start acting recklessly, not thinking about the consequences that may accompany our reckless behaviour. We block logical thinking because, at that moment, logic becomes irrelevant. Even if we are the most rational people in life, we get tired.
Sometimes, we think that we are making the right choices; however, we become blinded at that time. Blinded by the lies that we were fed with, by the imaginary happiness we drew for ourselves, and by the fake strength somebody provided us with.
Our stupidity misleads us at some point in our lives, it makes us push those who really care about us away, it makes us approach the devils in disguise, thinking that they are angels. They may be angels, but at some point, Lucifer was once an angel too. That hideous stupidity of ours beautifies horrendous things in our eyes and we only wake up from that fake fantasy we were once stuck in when something breaks us, scars us forever, and makes us question our entire existence.Sometimes, we lose the ones who love us the most because, let’s be fair, they’re not going to wait for us forever. They may forgive us, but they will definitely not forget the pain we caused them. The misery we once put them through. No matter how many times we knock on their doors, they push us away because, in their eyes, we become nothing but toxic people walking on Earth and they have to avoid us at all costs as they never want to get hurt again.
But maybe we still have some luck left in our lives, just a tiny flicker that will make us hopeful again. Maybe the ones we pushed away are not gone forever as we thought they were, maybe they still see the good in us despite the messed up things we have done. Whether we believe it or not, the ones we hurt the most could turn out to be the ones we are in terrible need of to pick up our broken pieces and glue them back together.
After all, aren't we all in great need of somebody to fix us? to take us as who we are? to look past our mistakes? We are not angels. We make mistakes. We sin. We hurt and we get hurt. However, nobody owes us complete forgiveness and neither do we owe it to anybody. As hopeful as we may be, not all of us are lucky enough to find this person in our lives who is willing to look past all that we have done, and maybe this is one of the saddest parts of our lives, but I guess we have to prepare for the worst.
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“I still don’t like this, it feels like I’m using you,” Mila mumbled with a frown on her face as she put some of the groceries in the fridge.“Can you please stop fussing about it?” Emma rolled her eyes at her best friend, gathering her long dark brown hair in her hands and wrapping a hair tie around it. “Just because you don't pay rent it doesn’t mean you’re using me. My parents got me this apartment, so I won’t charge you for rent. It’s not like I’m paying less than you. They bought it, not me, so if you want to think about it this way, then we are both using them. You pay half of everything, you seriously need to chill.”Emma and Mila had been best friends since elementary school, and despite how different they were from each other, their differences were never the cause of a fight between them. In fact, they barely fought. A lot of people envied them for the kind of friendship they had. I
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“You know it sucks being a freshman again,” Mila said to Emma as they walked through the campus of Washington University for the very first time. Although Emma did not have any classes until 1 pm, she went with Mila at 11 am to explore the campus, hoping to make a friend or two. “How so?” Emma wondered, looking at Mila for a moment as she adjusted her backpack. “We were seniors in high school and everybody looked at us like we were on some kind of superior level. Here, we are freshmen again, juniors and seniors look at us like we are fresh meat and they probably laugh at us, sophomores are the only ones who MIGHT have some mercy on us,” Mila explained with a simple shrug. “Can you just promise me one thing?” Emma asked her best friend quietly. It was a thought that had plagued Emma’s thoughts for a long while and she wanted to give her mind a rest. “What?” Mila asked her softly with a frown on her face, knowing quite well that Emma was nervous and sca
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“Just message her, Em,” Mila whined. She has been trying to convince Emma to text Ariana for the past half an hour, but Emma was too scared and shy to do it.“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me again?” Emma murmured, looking down. Her social anxiety kicked in. “She wouldn’t have given you her number if she didn’t want you to message her!”“I don’t know...Mil, look you’re more than enough for me and I don’t want any more friends,” Emma said quietly. Mila sighed heavily and snatched the phone from her best friend’s hands.“What are you doing!?” Emma squealed and tried to get her phone back from Mila.“If you’re not going to do it then I’ll do it!”“No no no no! Please don’t!” Emma begged her.“No, Em, I will do it, end of discussion,” Mila said and messaged Ariana quickly.
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The weekend came faster than expected and soon enough it was Friday. Emma was in her room getting ready. She was nervous and excited at the same time. She has gone to parties before, but she has never gone to a party without Mila.Emma put on a floral high-waisted skirt and styled it with a tight off-the-shoulder powder pink top. Her outfit was not showy, it was cute and nice. She applied some light make-up and put on pink lipstick that matched her outfit.Ariana told Emma that she would pick her up. By 8:30 Ariana messaged Emma and told her that she was waiting for her.“You live in a very nice neighbourhood, how do you manage to pay the rent girl?” Ariana asked Emma as she drove off to the party.“It’s not rented...my parents bought it for me,” Emma said quietly. She was not fond of telling people that the place was actually hers, but she did not see any point of lying and denying the truth.“Oh wow! You’re
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When Emma walked inside the apartment she frowned and sighed heavily. She found Mila asleep on the couch, her head resting on its arm. She picked her phone from her purse and checked the messages; the last message Mila sent was around five in the morning and it was eight by the time she arrived.Emma walked towards Mila and gently shook her body. The tired sleepy girl opened her eyes slowly. On seeing Emma in front of her, Mila quickly jumped up from her position.“I’m so sorry! I was so drunk last night to message you and I only checked the messages this morning,” Emma said, worry was obvious in her voice. She felt guilty for making Mila that anxious.“Drunk? Since when do you like drinking?” Mila’s confusion was written all over her face. She knew quite well that Emma did not like drinking; not one bit.“I just wanted to try something new, it didn’t taste that bad,” Emma shrugged.Just one
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It was Sunday and it was a lazy day for both of Mila and Emma. Mila finished all of her college assignments on Friday and Emma finished everything she was supposed to do on her weekdays since she had nothing else to do."Julie is coming over," Mila informed Emma as she drank her coffee."And Ariana too," Emma told Mila, checking her Instagram out of pure boredom."Great." Mila smiled and sat on the couch beside her.Mila was texting Julie a lot and she had a lot of classes with her. Julie was a nice girl and she was a lot like Mila, so she was comfortable with her and she did not feel pressured with the friendship she developed with her.Emma was also building a growing friendship with Ariana and she liked the friendship they were having. She loved how Ariana was making her experience new things. Mila was a little uncertain about Emma's friendship with Ariana and was concerned about how Ariana was pulling Emma into a whole new life, yet she kept he
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"I honestly don't like her at all," Julie spoke as she sat beside Mila. The professor had not come yet to the lecture, so the girls used the opportunity to chitchat."Same, I don't know what Emma sees in her, this troubles me." Mila sighed, opening her notebook and writing the date."Are you still going to the party?" Julie asked her."Only to keep my eyes on Emma.""I don't know if I should come or not." Julie thought out loud."Come, I don't want to be alone at that party, I know Emma would be busy with her new friends.""I will think about it," Julie told Mila, earning a nod from her."I want you to meet Leila and Hannah. We share a flat together," Julie said with a smile on her face."Sounds good to me. I have a shift today from 4 to 10, if they are free after we finish our lectures today then we can meet," Mila suggested."Sounds like a plan," Julie agreed.After two lectures, Julie and Mila went to meet the
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"Are you sure you want to come? You know I will be fine on my own," Emma told Mila, giving her a skeptical look. "Did Ariana tell you not to bring me? Too bad for her if she did because I'm going," Mila said the first part teasingly; however, she was serious about the second part. She did not want to leave Emma alone at that party; she had a bad feeling about it."She did not say anything else, we haven't really talked about you." Emma shrugged as she applied some lipstick. Emma was lying, Ariana would always make fun of Mila."Julie is coming, so I will most probably be with her all the time, and I'm sure you'll be with Cole, Ariana, and your new friends," Mila said, applying more mascara."That's not true." Emma frowned as her stomach twisted in guilt. "We will spend time together.""And even if we don't, it's okay. You're supposed to have new friends, I'm just worried about the kind of people you hang out with," Mila spoke. Ever since they starte
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I was sitting in the café near the campus waiting for Aaron to arrive. We were supposed to have lunch together. Aaron met my mum a week after she settled in Seattle and I could tell that she liked him, which was something I was grateful for. She bought herself a flat close to the one I shared with Mila and she let me decorate it. I remember how surprised he was when I told him that my mum was finally back in my life and how happy he was for me; however, I could see the worried look in his eyes and when I confronted him, he admitted that he was worried that she might fail me again and he did not want me to get heart-broken for the second time by the same person.He was so considerate and loving; he treated me like a queen. Each day, I fell in love more with him. He never failed to amaze me and he made my heart flutter each time I saw him. Believe it or not, I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I see him."Hey, baby." I heard his soft voice and I felt
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After too many hardships, Emma finally believed that the rainbow did appear after the rain. Her life was finally getting better, she knew what true happiness tasted like and she was in love with every single detail of it.Emma's relationship with Mila was stronger than ever; something she has wished for ever since her life turned upside down. She finally managed to get over her fear of Cole and she even managed to forgive herself for everything that happened. She no longer felt guilty whenever she looked at Mila. She no longer thought so low of herself whenever she remembered everything she had done to Mila. She was well aware that everything she had done was a mistake, but she was finally convinced that she should not spend the rest of her life beating herself up.Blake knew how much Emma liked decorating and how good she was at it, so when his mum mentioned that she wanted to redecorate her office, he suggested that she should hire Emma to do it. When Emma was offere
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Three days later, Mila was finally discharged from the hospital; something she was thankful for. However, what she was not thankful for was the lack of Emma's presence. She did not come to visit her or even call her. It was like she was mad at Mila, but Mila did not do anything... she only lied to her for her own sake. She did not want her to suffer, was that a wrong thing to do?Mila walked inside the apartment as Blake helped her to walk since it was not an easy task due to her wounds. She did her best to convince her parents to leave and luckily they agreed after a lot of unsuccessful attempts, both of them had their jobs and she thought that they should not stop their life because of her, so they booked tonight's flight. Julie and the others convinced them that they would take good care of Mila and she told them that she would Skype them every night to assure them that she was okay.When Mila walked inside, she saw Emma sitting on the couch. She was looking at the
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It had been five days since Mila was stabbed. She was doing better, yet she did not wake up. Her kidney was thankfully working properly and her wounds were starting to heal, but that was not enough to make Emma go easy on herself.Blake called her parents and told them everything. It was not an easy moment for them and they took the first flight to Seattle once they heard what happened. They were devastated and they looked broken when they saw their daughter.Julie, Leila, and Hannah were in shock when they heard what happened. They have never imagined that something so terrible like that would happen to Mila. They did not think that Cole was that cruel.Emma told Mila's parents all what happened in her life and why they reached that state in the first place; she told them about Cole and his abuse, about Ariana, and how she got between Mila and her. She even told them about kicking Mila out. She told them about almost being raped and how Mila and the rest saved
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Once Emma passed out, Aaron quickly carried her small body between his muscular arms and laid her carefully on the hospital seats. A nurse saw what happened so she asked Aaron to take her to the emergency room. Aaron picked her up again without any struggle and rushed to the emergency room. She weighed less than the weight he practised with at the gym. He held her protectively like he was holding his whole world between his arms."She passed out, she received bad news and passed out," he told the nurse who helped him lay Emma on the hospital bed."Don't worry, she's going to be okay," the nurse assured him upon seeing how anxious he looked.After thirty minutes, Emma woke up. Aaron did not leave her side, he was really worried about her even after he was assured by the doctor and the nurse that she was doing fine. After the nurse fixed the IV in her hand, he held her pale hand gently in his. He hated seeing the girl he loved in that place. He loved seeing her be
By your Side Fifty-six: Emma's P.O.V
"Blake, it's getting so late... Mila hasn't come home yet and she is not answering her phone, please tell me she's at your place." I bit my nails nervously as I talked to Blake on the phone. It was already midnight and Mila was nowhere to be found. I was close to losing my mind."What do you mean she's not home? I only saw her this morning, but nothing after that," Blake spoke, worry was obvious in his voice."I don't know! She told me she needed to buy a few things and left, but that was around eight and now it's midnight!" I told him nervously. What was I supposed to do? Should I go search for her?I looked at my phone and saw an unknown number calling me. "Blake, stay on the line, there's an unknown number calling me," I said anxiously and answered. "Hello.""Is this Emma Adams?" I heard a woman's voice, speaking to me professionally which increased my worry. Why would anybody call me at this hour unless it was an emergency?"Mila Montgomery has
