Chapter 2

Pulling myself out of bed, I turned the alarm off. I hated Mondays with a passion, but I forced myself up and walked over to my dresser to get dressed. After all, this was my last year of high school and soon enough, I would be able to escape life here and, hopefully, bring my mother with me. I had already applied to a few schools, and, with my current art skills, I was sure to win a few scholarships along the way. 

Settling for a plain orange t-shirt, and a set of jeans with a black pull over hoodie, I threw on some socks and made my way downstairs to greet my mother, who was hard at work, cleaning the mess my sleeping stepfather had made the night before. I fell into step with her as she worked on cleaning the glass off the floor, while I filled a bucket with water for the mop. We didn’t say anything to each other, besides our morning greetings of, 'how did you sleep?' This was our normal. Something we both adjusted to, too quickly.

We lived in an old run-down apartment. Plaster was missing from some of the walls, exposing the old wooden supports behind them. While some of the floors were peeling up, or the carpets had turned black from years of use and stains. It wasn’t something everyone would live in, but to us, it was home. My mother and I often did crafts to help hide the imperfections. One of those projects was a large mural filled with different flowers, hiding cracks in the wall. This quickly became my mother's favorite piece. So I could tell how she was seeing it now, covered in beer, and falling apart where the bottles hit was tearing her apart. 

“We can fix it.” I told her softly as I brought over the bucket of water. She looked up at me from the floor, tears brimmed in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. 

“You bet we can.” She replied, pushing back her tears as she stared up at our work. "Maybe we can try something new? Paint over the whole thing and start fresh? ” She asked as I tried to ignore the bruise she covered with make-up on her cheek. 

'You know, we could do that with our lives too.' I wanted to tell her, to start over just me and her, but the creaking of the floor over my head told me that my stepfather was up and that wasn’t a good thing. We both looked at each other wide-eyed as we scrambled to finish cleaning the mess, my mother cutting herself on the glass in the process. 

“You best be off for school.” She told me, rushing me out of the kitchen towards the front door. She didn’t have to tell me twice. 

“Be safe.” I whispered to her as my stepdad yelled down the stairs. 

“ADVIL! NOW.” 

“Coming right away!” She called up to him softly as she made her way up the steps, leaving me at the door to put my shoes on. I grabbed my bag, and I was out of the house in the blink of an eye. Normally, I would help more in the kitchen, have breakfast with my mom, then leave; but if he was up, it was just better I left right away.

The apartment hallway always stunk of mold and cigarettes. Covering my nose with my hoodie, I made my way down the hall to the stairwell, then outside into the brisk morning air where I could finally breathe in the fresh air. The city took over around me, buildings reached the skies. Before, I would have felt engulfed, but I'm used to it now. The sounds of vehicles rushing by as they passed brought a bit of comfort. Taking out my phone, I quickly picked out a song and put my headphones on as I made my way to the bus stop. Letting the music softly take over as I slowly walked alone.

I had lots of time, which was a double-edged sword. The first being that I could take in my surroundings and enjoy my time, but the second being that I would have to stand longer waiting for the bus and have to run into…. them. I shuddered at the thought. 

I wasn’t popular by any means. In fact, I was very unpopular, but I also didn’t fit in with the outcasts either, which were the 'thems' I was referring to. Most of them were interesting characters, but each day they would eye me up, choosing me as a target for whatever they had in mind. I didn’t fault them for their actions. After all, they, too, were picked on in school by the footballers or cheerleaders. 

Rounding the corner to the bus stop, I could only make out a few people who were already waiting. Sighing in relief, I made my way over, taking care not to pass the alley where most of them would wait if they were early like me. Smoking their cigarettes, vapes or getting high before class, whatever got them through the day. 

Those waiting in the line were mostly younger students, most of the graduates drove themselves to school. I would have been one of them, but I decided to save my money instead, hoping to pay for my graduation and school fees rather than insurance and maintenance on a vehicle. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t little miss Emily.” A deep voice behind me hummed as cigarette smoke filtered into the surrounding air. Pulling out my headphones, I gave a bored look over my shoulder to see Alex smirking at me as he blew out smoke into the air between us. He was your typical emo kid. Black everything: eyeliner under his eyes, piercings in his lips, the whole get up. We used to be friends when I first started school here, but ever since he got together with Raven, that went down hill. 

“What do you want?” I asked, rather exhausted. 

“Nothing, just checking in.” He replied as he threw his cigarette butt to the ground, stepping on it. As much as I wanted to hate him for being a jerk, I knew he had a kind heart somewhere in there. Once my stepdad started to turn into the person he was, Alex was one of the few people to see it first hand and could relate and help me through it, as his father was much of the same. 

“I’m fine.” I told him, as I turned back to face the line of students who were lost in their own worlds, with music in their ears, half asleep. 

“Just checking.” He replied as he stood behind me. I couldn’t shake the feeling of his eyes lingering, but I did my best to ignore it as I put one headphone back in my ear. It wasn’t long before Raven and the rest of the crew were in the alley and Alex had joined them. I could hear them over my music laughing and talking with one another. It seemed like they were distracted today, so I was safe for the most part from any more probing, or their antics. 

The bus came early, thankfully, the ride to school wasn’t very far, maybe ten minutes on a bad day. Before I knew it, I was already sitting in the library eating lunch, drawing. In most cases, you were never allowed food or drink inside, but the librarian and I were close, or she pitied me. I wasn’t sure. I often helped out in my spare block, sorting books, scanning them in and other tasks and in return I was able to use the back room and her computer as I saw fit.

“That's a new one.” She told me over her newspaper. 

“Yea, my mom and I are thinking about redoing the mural in our kitchen, so I was coming up with some ideas” I replied, never taking my eyes off the different types of flowers before me. 

"Oh that sounds like a wonderful time! I bet that's where you got your artistic talents from?" She chuckled.

“Yea, it is.” I beamed up at her finally. My mother was a stunning artist. I remember being younger watching her paint, every stroke of her brush was perfect, like it was always meant to be there. But she hadn't really painted like that since my father passed besides a few arts and crafts with me, or the murals in our home to hide the state of it. 

The bell rang overhead, but lucky for me, it was my spare block. “Would you mind putting away the books in the return bin once you're done with lunch?” The librarian asked me. 

“Of course.” I smiled at the old woman as she gathered her things. 

"Great, I’ll lock up for now. I have a few meetings to attend then, Mr. Smith's class will be in using the lab at half past." She informed me. 

“Okay, if you're not here by then, I’ll let them in.” I replied. 

“Thank you! You're such a blessing!” She beamed down at me before rushing out of the small office space. I was pretty much done with my food anyway. I gathered up the garbage, tossing it out on my way to the front desk. Pulling the return bin away from the front door, I started to scan all the books in, one after the other. To most people, small tasks like this would be boring, but I loved it. Being alone, not having to tend to anyone's expectations, was always the best, but today felt different. Almost like someone was watching me. Looking around the library, I couldn’t see anyone. Sometimes, students would sneak in here during lunch and make out behind the bookshelves. I didn’t want to confront them if that was the case, but I needed to put these books away. Sighing, I called out before I left the safety of the front desk. 

“I’m putting books away, so if you're in here… you need to leave.” The library was small, it wasn’t anything grand, so if someone was in here with me, they would have heard me. But nothing happened, no movement, or sounds. I still couldn’t shake the feeling, and I was almost always right when it came to my gut feelings. Even the hairs on the back of my neck stood as I scanned my surroundings one last time.

“I mean it.” I growled a bit harder, feeling my heart beat faster in my chest, as I waited. 

“Okay you got us.” Alex chuckled as he crept out from behind the shelf, Raven following close behind, glaring at me as she went. I let out a sigh of relief. 

“You guys are not supposed to be in here right now.” I stated softly. 

“Well, we thought we would come hang out.” Raven chuckled as she smoothed her hand through Alex’s hair. He met her gaze, and then mine before quickly looking embarrassed.

“I-I” I stuttered over words to say, as I knew she didn’t want to hang out. Her smirk told me as much. 

“I - I - I” Raven mocked as she came walking up to the desk. "What's the matter? You can’t talk?" She asked. I froze at that moment, hearing the same lines being uttered by my stepdad. 'What's wrong with her, she can’t talk? She’s useless.'

Raven chuckled to herself before pulling the pile of books I had just scanned off the desk in one quick motion. 

“Oops.” She taunted me before stepping over them. “My bad.” Taking Alex’s hand in hers, she made her way over to the door before calling over, “You’ll clean that for me, won't you?” before leaving for good. 

I couldn’t help but stay frozen for a moment more, waiting for them to be long gone. The sense I wasn’t alone still didn’t leave. Mustering up the courage to leave the safety of the library desk, I started to pick up the books one by one, placing them into a pile on the floor. Every now and then I tried to peer around a bookshelf or two, checking to see if anyone was, in-fact, still there. However, I never did find anyone. The day went on like that. My last class flew by, and before I knew it, I was stepping off the bus, being taunted one last time by Raven and her friends, but I just put my headphones on, ignoring them all together. 

Clutching my sketchbook closer to my chest, I made the short distance back home. I went over each sketch in my mind that I made for the new mural in the kitchen. I couldn’t wait to show my mom my work after all it had been so long since I showed her one of my drawings. I always feared that she would flip through and see the one of my Father. The last time I made one of him for her, she held herself up in her room for two weeks before going out every night drinking with my stepfather for months. It wasn’t a very good time in her life and really drew us apart, but she was doing better now, and I didn’t want to mess it up. 

Walking up the steps to the main doors of my apartment, I pulled out my phone, giving my mom a quick text that I was there. The intercom system for the building was broken again, with no word on when it would be fixed. Because of the state of the building, it was safe to say, it never would be fixed.

It didn’t take long to see my mother pop around the corner. Normally she would smile brightly while letting me in, but not today, something was wrong. I wanted to ask, but the look in her eye told me otherwise. Did something happen with my stepdad? 

“Come quickly.” She gestured as a man stepped around the corner, one I only recognized from eight years ago, at my father's funeral. His long trench coat and matching top hat were very outdated. His mustache was perfectly formed and matched that of his perfectly shaped peppered beard, he looked like he had just walked out of the 1800s. “Or not…” my mother sighed before turning back to me. 

“This is Professor Katz, he worked with your… father.” She said at last. Instantly my interest peaked at the mention of him. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Emily.” He took his hat off and bowed slightly. I had never been greeted in such a manner that I wasn’t sure how to respond. I looked between the two, I could tell things were tense. 

“After you.” The man gestured down the hall towards the way they had come. My mother hesitated before biting her bottom lip and walking ahead towards our apartment. Something wasn’t right. I couldn’t help but feel the same thing as before, like I was being watched and this man was behind it. But if he worked with my father he couldn’t have been that bad, right? My dad wasn’t terrible, he was nice, gentle and loving. 

We all walked silently into the apartment. Out of habit, I looked for my stepfather's shoes, seeing that they were missing, which was normally a good thing, but at that moment I wasn’t too sure.

“Come sit in the kitchen, Em.” My mother instructed as I slipped my shoes off. 

“Yes.” I squeaked out as I slipped through the hall and into the kitchen. The mess from this morning was fully cleaned and dinner was cooking in the oven. The scent of roasted chicken and potatoes drifted into the air, reminding me of how hungry I was. Taking a seat at the kitchen table, I watched as Professor Katz came strolling into the room. He was so huge it was hard not to laugh as he struggled to sit down on the small metal framed chairs my mother and I had picked up on the side of a dumpster just before moving in. The plastic that covered the chairs had been replaced, and we painted them yellow with rainbow daisies to match the wooden kitchen table.