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63: I miss you
Huling Na-update:
2021-11-09 07:09:00Daddy fucked up our reservation. Maybe he forgot or the restaurant made a mistake as he said. I am not sure which but the longer we wait in the car, the angrier Mum grows. She’s angrily typing on her phone, probably to one of those her rich friends who come to the house to drink our wine while they gossip.
Hayden is busy with his tab. I peek over his shoulder to see the game he’s playing and a soft sigh leaves my lips. So many guns and shooting. My phone has been silent since we left the house. Ben must have gone for the dinner. He hasn’t texted me. I don’t want to ruin his not-so-family time but I miss him.
We look up at the sound of approaching footsteps. Daddy. His boots create prints on the thin layer of snow covering the path. He jams his hands into the pockets of his jacket and expels a breath of white air.
His facial expression spells bad news and his steps falter before he reaches us. I glance at Mum. Her arms are crossed on
Kaugnay na kabanata
Bullied By The Badboy 64: Mummy (I)
BEN “No. Leave that,” I tell Asher, shaking my head at the boots he tries to sneak into the bag. Josef, Mum’s husband, got him nice leather boots for Christmas. He also bought me a pair. Thanks but no thanks, I did not accept it. He thinks he can bribe his way into my life with gifts, forced smiles and compliments, the way he did with Mum and Asher. It can’t be me, it will never be me. He already took Mum away from us and Asher likes him a little too much. I hope he doesn’t take Asher away from me. Asher dives into the bed face first, his legs dangle from the edge as he pushes himself up on his elbows. He watches me arrange our clothes into the duffel bag on the bed. The small pile soon disappears into the bag and Asher sits up. His back rests against the headboard, we share one glance and he looks away. He does it twice and I sigh. He wants something. Shoving the last item of clothing into the bag, I drop it at my feet and inch closer t
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-10Bullied By The Badboy 64: Mummy (II)
BENThe pain in Mum’s voice splits my heart into a million pieces. I ball my hands into fists. “For what?”She is the reason I have trouble sleeping alone. If Asher is not home, it’s harder to fall asleep. I might give him a speech about being strong anytime he sneaks into my bed after a nightmare but those are the best parts of my nights. Sleep comes easily when he is there. She won’t hurt me if I am not alone.Tears cloud my vision as the dark memories try to overpower me. She’s not here. She can’t hurt me. My fingernails dig into my palms until they draw blood. I focus on the pain. I think about the fights. About my Gracie. Her sheepish grins and our silly notes. Our kisses. And the anger slowly eases from my body.I raise my head to see Mum watching me and the pent up emotions come rushing down on me again. I needed her then. I still do. But I don’t know how to move past this mental blo
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-11Bullied By The Badboy 65: Sorry for yourself
Today is the first day of school and also the first time I am resuming a new semester without Maria. It’s odd.I pass a look at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I don’t look so bad. No makeup except a dab of red lipstick. Ben’s clip—the second colourful item of my outfit—is keeping my hair away from my face.My fingers shake slightly at the thought of Ben. I miss my boyfriend. I touch the butterfly on the clip and a wry smile forms on my lips. I haven’t been the best girlfriend to him in days. I push that thought aside as soon as the laughing image of him and Olivia pops in my mind. Are they really just friends?Drawing courage from within, I flash my image a thumbs in the rearview mirror and step out of my car. The parking lot is deserted, scary. Everything is scary without Maria and Ben. Most students, including me, are not so keen on resuming in the second week of January. I switch the plastic bottle to my
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-13Bullied By The Badboy 66: Gracie has changed
BEN I don’t believe her. Either she likes Noah and she is lying to protect my feelings or she is tired of me. Last year, she asked a lot of questions about Noah. I didn’t want to worry. I didn’t think I had any reason to worry because I trusted her. I still do. Maybe I shouldn’t. If she truly loves, she will want me to be happy. Gracie has changed. I know it’s not her period. It happened a day before Christmas. It shouldn’t be here so soon already. I press a finger to my temple and set my painting brush down. This is not even my class. Olivia drags her high stool closer to me. She nudges me with her elbow as her brush makes soft strokes on the canvas. I tuck a hand under my chin and try to guess a title or the inspiration behind the painting. We have been doing that for half an hour since we escaped to this place but it’s barely helping my mood. The last time I saw her was at the restaurant. Mum invited her and her mother so they weren’t alone o
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-15Bullied By The Badboy 67: Yes or no?
Ben is annoying me. Really getting on my nerves. I saw him hugging Olivia in front of the art room and he wants to give me shit for talking to Noah. I don’t like Noah. I am only tolerating him because he is Let.“Is that what this is about? The attitude?” he asks. I shrug. “Did Olivia say anything to you?”The fry loses its taste in my mouth but I keep munching to keep my mouth busy. Maybe he will go away. If Maria was here, she would have chased Ben from our table. I miss her. Ben taps my knee for a reply and I press my legs together. I am tired of talking about Olivia. She ruins my mood even in her absence.Hoots from the football jocks table draw my attention to Noah. His gaze holds mine captive and a chill runs through me. A cheerleader is on his lap but his eyes are fixated on me. He was begging me to accept his apology before Ben arrived. When Ben looks his way, he darts his gaze to the chic on his leg.Moments la
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-16Bullied By The Badboy 68: Bad student
I am barely listening to Mr Banks, our maths teacher. His lips move but I hear nothing. Ben’s words keep reverberating in my head, stabbing me in my heart but I take comfort in the fact we haven’t broken up.Mr Banks throws a question to the class, someone answers and he nods in approval. I count the seconds until the bell rings but a peek at my wristwatch shows I’ve been in the class for less than ten minutes. A period is supposed to last forty minutes but I don’t think I will survive that long without talking to Ben.I shoot to my feet. My books clatter to the floor and my chair squeaks.“Yes, Theresa?” Mr Banks says.Heads turn in my direction, my eyes locate the floor, wishing the earth will swallow me. Buying time to compose myself, I pick my books and set them on my seat. His footsteps approach me and I lift my head.“I’d like to use the bathroom.” A girl snickers b
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-17Bullied By The Badboy 69: Always and forever
Ben hits the radio and Nikki Minaaj’s Chun-Li remix fills the silence. He moves his upper body to the left, then right. I honk twice, push two fingers into my mouth and whistle. He was right, he’s a good dancer and he’s killing it. His shoulders jerk in rhythm to the beat, he claps and resumes the body movement.“You are a horrible dancer,” I murmur. He grins, clearly seeing through my lie.My hands wrap around the steering as I guide the car to a new lane. The ice-cream van comes into view, my car slows down metres from it. Much to Ben’s annoyance, I shut off the radio and the music from the ice-cream truck filters into the car. He scowls and I bat my lashes at him like the cutie he says I am.Ben’s elbow juts outside the car, he twists his body so he has full view of me. “Is this it?”He sounds... Disappointed? I mean, I would be too. This is nothing compared to our first date. No. I’m do
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-18Bullied By The Badboy 70: Bad behaviour
“I missed a class,” I say to the figure on my screen. “No. “ My head shakes. “Classes. I missed classes.”Maria squeals. I plug my fingers into my ears. “Yasss. My baby girl is growing.”Only Maria applauds bad behaviour. I push my laptop forward and prop my elbows on the table. A small smile lifts the corners of my lips at the memory of Tuesday’s outing. My Benny. We should do more of it.“It was really nice, Maria,” I tell her. The talk, the moment of peaceful silence. His presence. Everything was perfect. Maria’s head bobs in agreement and I tuck my hands under my chin. “I think I’ll do it again.”Her screen goes black for a nanosecond, the ceiling of her room comes into view, then her face. Her jaw drops like she’s hyperventilating. She’s such a drama queen. Sure, I would never do something like that on a normal day but yeah, I did it. And
Huling Na-update : 2021-11-20
Pinakabagong kabanata
Bullied By The Badboy Thank You
I feel like sexual assault against the male genders is not talked about as much as in the case of the female genders. As a friend to a few males who have been molested by people who were supposed to care for them, I knew I had to write about it someday. And I hope I was able to bring awareness to this, however little, through Ben. It’s never okay to molest a child. It’s never okay to molest anyone. That being said, here are some fun facts about this book; 1. It’s my first attempt at teenfiction. I was almost certain readers would notice and call me out on that. 2. BBTB was supposed to be a short story project. I was so worried it would be a flop so I planned to make it between 40-80 chapters. But the story grew wings and took off on its own. 3. This is the longest story I have ever written. I am just as surprised as you are and I was pleasantly shocked to see comments wanting their lovestory to go on for much longer. Those comments kept me going even on the bad days. So, thank y
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (VIII*): Benjamin Junior
It hurts too much. My body is on fire and it’s not yet right to push. Why isn’t it time? I need them to get the baby out of me. Not later, now. Sweat drips down my forehead and my eyes sting with tears. The doctor has stopped the bleeding. I have been cleaned up, changed into a hospital gown. They say everything is fine but it’s not. The contractions are ripping me from inside out and all Ben does is mutter unintelligible gibberish. He put the baby inside me, he should experience the pain too. “Are you okay?” Ben asks. I glare at him. How can I be okay? Whatever the doctor gave me is keeping me awake so I have no respite from the pain. Ben pushes my hair away from my sweaty forehead and I lean into him for comfort. I’m tired but I’m glad our son is okay. “I’m sorry, Gracie,” my husband says. Pushing past my pain, I offer him a questioning glance. Maddie is fine, right? My parents are okay too, right? Ben wipes the tears spill
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (VIII): Breathe through it
I am packing up for Maddie’s weekend getaway when Ben strolls into her room. He picks a toy from the floor, tosses it into the air and catches it. I stall when he crosses over to me. All his attempts to take over the packing from me are futile. He protests by shaking his head. I am pregnant, not handicapped.When the bag is zipped up, I lower myself to the bed to catch my breath. Maybe I should have let him do it. But he never lets me do anything.Worried eyes stare into mine as Ben kneels between my legs. I’m fine, just tired. I pick the stuffed bear he dropped on the bed and sniff it. It smells like Maddie. And if I listen closely, I’ll hear her voice as she sings along with her favourite characters on TV.Maddie’s grandparents—my parents are in town because I’m due next week. They don’t want to miss it. She’s spending the weekend with them.Ben pries the bear from me and traces the
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (VII): Candy
Laughter erupts from the living room, a kid’s voice follows and my lips curve in a smile. I pause the YuuTube tutorial I’m watching and set my tab down on the counter. I’m trying a new recipe I found online. Ben has been working extra hours so he can’t cook as much anymore and I’m tired of takeouts for dinner.With a hand under my belly, I meander to the living room. Maddie is on her feet, clapping and giggling at the television. There’s an old show playing. A family series I starred in one year after graduation. I clear my throat and my baby girl spins to face me. She grins and everything feels right. The nine hours of labour, the screams, the pain. They don’t matter.Running towards me, she stops a few inches from me and grabs my hand. “See Mummy,” she says, pointing at the television. I’m helping the second male lead set up his outfit for work. Her blue eyes flash with childlike innocence when she run
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (VI): Theresa Carter
I feel the stare before I turn to Maria. “Will you stop?” I mutter. She says nothing but her eyes lower to my swollen belly, making it so obvious she had been staring. “Maria Vega.”“Theresa Carter.”Pink colours my cheeks. I hide my face in my palms and she bursts out laughing. It still feels so surreal being Mrs Carter, Ben’s wife. Our wedding was small and private like we both wanted. Aside from our family, we had our friends. Maria. Leah. Mira. Calum. Olivia also showed up. She and Ben are still in contact. We are kind of cool.Thinking about the wedding makes me smile and I twist the ring on my forth finger. My promise ring remains on my middle finger.I sit up and cross my legs. There are some pictures from the wedding scattered all over the living room floor. Maria didn’t get a chance to see them before her flight. She had a concert that day. I rub a hand over my stomach. Ben didn’t
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (V): Show them
Where is Ben? We will be late.I step out of the bathroom in only a towel and sashay to the wardrobe to get the gown for our date. There are a few options but I select a navy blue off-shoulder gown. Flipping through my playlist, I settle on Maria’s new single and settle down in front of the vanity to make myself up.A smile curves my lips as I brush my hair. I don’t look so bad at all. The makeup tutorial classes on YuuTube and Maria’s extra sessions come in handy as I apply foundation to my face. My gaze flies to the door. I’m in my room. Ben wasn’t in his room when I checked but he should be getting ready.The door creaks. I look up but Ben doesn’t walk in. My eye makeup is done. I apply a bright red lipstick and the door finally opens. Ben stalks into the room wearing a tux. My man is hot but in a suit and Oxford leather shoes, he is hotter. He closes the door with his foot and leans on it so I can assess
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (IV*): Birthday boy
The drive to Ben’s office is a blur. I’m out of the car and in front of his office in a flash. I miss him. And I haven’t seen him in eight hours.I knock once on the door and open before he ushers me inside. Locking the door behind me, I bridge the gap between us and crush him in a hug. We live in the same house but God, I want to be in his presence all the time.“You’re back so early,” Ben says against my lips. I kiss him hard to make up for the hours without any kisses. Ben chuckles and hoists me on the edge of his desk. Then, he stands between my legs. “I missed you too, babe.”I grin. “I missed you more.”Ben touches his forehead to mine. “You’re here,” he says. His smile is sad. I nod against his body and his hands slip into my gown. I help him with the zip and pout. “I didn’t think you would make it today.”I had a pho
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (IV): My soulmate
The mixer whirrs to life. I throw in more flour, add three eggs and whisk the batter into a smooth mix. Calum, my unwilling apprentice, watches from behind the counter. He came in last night. On my command, Calum oils the pans for the cake and turns on the oven. Done, he edges close to me. I swat his hand before he dips his finger into the mix. “Come on, Tessa. I came all this way, let me have some.” I roll my eyes. He came all this way, uninvited but I’m happy to see him. I empty the batter into the small pan. We will eat from that. “Just a taste.” “Fine.” I shove the spatula in his face and he snatches it from me. My face scrunches in disgust when he licks the spatula clean like a hungry dog. “Calum, what’s wrong with you?” He shrugs. “Nothing?” It feels like there’s something but I continue emptying the batter into the pans. When I’m done, I bring out the ingredients for the icing. Today is Ben’s
Bullied By The Badboy Bonus (III*): Only you
A look of fear flashes across her face. She levels me with a stare that shows she’s trying to control her temper. It’s unfair that I have to watch her kiss other guys under the guise of it being part of the job. “You are just making up scenarios that don’t exist,” she says. “Your job doesn’t even require it, Benny.” “But your job does...” I twist my hands so hard they ache. She doesn’t get it. “...and I don’t like it, Gracie.” Various emotions flicker on her face. She opens and closes her mouth twice without saying a word. The third time, she murmurs, “You asked me to trust you when Elena was involved, right?” I did. And I’ve established boundaries at the office, at school too. For fuck’s sake, she’s my screensaver, I wear my ring. They know I belong to Gracie. “So, can you please trust me on this one? It’s just a job, babe.” “Babe, it’s not the same.” Gracie stomps her feet in annoyance. I grit my teeth. She’s not the only one getti
