I hate crowds, so why am I here? In a pub with noise and more noise, shitty beats in the name of music. Maria slides a glass of iced coke to me, I make a face and take a sip while she gulps the weird content in her shot glass with a grimace. Lucky her. I need a clear head and sharp mind for tomorrow’s fight.
In less than a year, we will both be eighteen and eligible to drink and party the right way. I squint at the bright, colourful lights swirling above the small crowd moving on the dancefloor, bobbing my head to the beat. Though our fake IDs allow us entries into a few clubs, alcohol is off limits. For fun, we have them serve our drinks in shot glasses and act like it’s the almighty margarita we have heard so much about.
Only tonight, Maria got lucky. She got her first real taste of margarita.
“Ryan Raynoldz, smash or pass?” she asks, shot glass turned over to catch the last drop of her cocktail.
I fake gag. The man might be fine but no way will I smash him. “Pass. He’s older than you. Both of us.”
“He’s not that old.” Whatever, I am not interested in smashing him. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, showing off a hoop earring that’s definitely mine. “Alright, Zic Effon?” I wrap my arms around my neck and pretend to strangle myself. “Party pooper.” Hey, I’m not the one who wants to talk about boys. Pointing to her empty cup, she burps and murmurs, “Doesn’t taste as good as they say it does.”
She giggles, I kick her stool and she fixes me a glare that vanishes as soon as the DJ starts a new song. My body sways to the beat, I snap my fingers, singing along to Coldplay’s jam. Maria eyes the dancefloor with longing but stays put on her seat. I am a bad dancer but she’s not. Being a great dancer must come with her singing ability because she does both so effortlessly. Bodies grind against each other on the dancefloor, the bartender attends to other customers for a bit before we are left alone in the bar again.
Maria leans on me, her head resting on my shoulder and I pat her arm. “Don’t worry, you will kill it.” She raises her head to stare at me like I said the impossible, I shrug and she returns to her former position.
After all the risks we took to get here, she has to kill that opening or we will be eternally grounded. As far as our parents are concerned, she’s at my house and I am at hers. What they don’t know is their beloved daughters are at a pub, waiting for the go-ahead from the manager. He promised to let Maria open for the new band playing. I have no idea why they are late but we have no option than to wait.
The song switches, Maria screams, almost falling out of her seat at Shakira’s song—Time for Africa. She is obsessed with that woman. Her bandage gown rides up as she begins to rotate her waist, I play the role of a hype man, clapping and encouraging her to move that sexy body. My phone pings in my pocket, I ignore it. There have been tons of messages since that video was uploaded. I’ve received praises too.
Talk about, nice job. Congrats on hitting her. I know she’s hated by some students in BH, why won’t she? She is nasty but I don’t want to be anyone’s hero. I must have looked so sad because Maria plops back to her seat with a frown. She places a hand on my knee, my phone vibrates again and she pulls it out.
“Told you your five minutes of fame will end soon,” she says. Err, what’s she talking about? It has been more than five hours and I am still getting messages. My phone dangles between her fingers, I snatch it and my brows nearly disappear into my hairline at the new post. “Everyone’s talking about the cafeteria kiss.” A video of Ben kissing Olivia’s cheeks plays on repeat like a broken record. It is not even a real kiss; a sloppy peck. “I thought Olivia didn’t do highschoolers anymore. What’s she doing with Ben?”
I don’t know and I force myself not to care. Since that break up, she has not dated anyone in our school, she’s above that and will rather go for college guys. Good for the rest of the girls crushing on the jocks.
“She might have changed her mind,” I say when I see Maria’s still waiting for my reply. “Ben is fine.”
“Oh, he is. He is more than fine.” Propping her elbows on the counter, she lets out a dreamy sigh. “He’s hot. I would change my mind too if he asked me out.” Only that he didn’t ask Olivia out, she must have forced herself on him. Maria is still frowning so I nudge her with my knee, she can get any boy in school if she tries. Her phone vibrates in her purse, she takes it out and scowls. “Daniel’s not coming. Asshole.”
Daniel Holt is our friend, the last person in our group; tall, curly hair and green eyes. Maria has had a giant crush on him for as long as I have had one on Ben. Hold up, that didn’t come from me. I don’t have a crush on Ben, he’s hot and that’s it. Anyways, she has a crush on him but won’t say anything and Daniel is oblivious to it. The boy barely comes to school so how will he know? Secretly, I’m glad they are not together because I don’t want to be the third wheel neither do I want to watch them lick each other's faces.
I am about to reassure her when her phone rings, she pouts at something the voice from the other end says, mutters a small yes and the call ends. Sitting upright, she smoothes her gown and grabs her purse.
“It’s time.”
She's the one performing but my limbs tremble when I get up to engulf her in a hug. “Good luck.”
Her smile is jittery. The layers of makeup—smokey eyes, red lips don’t hide her nervousness. She walks a few feet from me and stops. Throwing a look over her shoulder, she says, “You better get my good side.”
I flip her my middle finger but she is already out of sight. We discussed this. I don’t want to be in a crowd of sweaty bodies holding up a phone to create a video that will never make it to her YuuTube channel. At the end of it all, I will get bashed for my poor photography skill. Let’s face it, I am a terrible camera lady.
The crowd goes silent as Maria climbs the stage, I eye those at the VIP section with a scowl, they get a first hand view of everything, they should make the video. My resolve weakens at Maria's smile. Damn. Why do I have such a soft heart? Knowing me, I’ll be out there in seconds, trying to get her best side as she sings her heart out. I pop out of my seat but a walking nightmare stops me from taking a step forward.
Olivia.
How does she always know where to find me?
She’s not alone. Nate has an arm around her waist, she’s pressed to him and I almost feel bad for Ben. His girlfriend is cheating on him a few hours after their kissing show. I shove my hands into my pockets, Nate laughs and I remember what sticks out about him. She cheated on him with Nate. My blood boils at the distant memory, I put on a faux smile and excuse myself, covering only a few distance before a cold liquid trickles down my scalp to my shirt. Olivia stops in front of me with my empty glass of coke in her hand, a proud smirk on her lips. I want to throttle her or slap some more sense into her head but I don’t.
Nate takes his place beside her, she slams the cup on the counter and a crack appears on it. I scoff as she closes the gap between us to gloat, uncurling my fist when Nate takes a protective stance behind her.
The bitch can’t even fight her battles alone. Why else did she come with Nate? Maria’s voice fills the pub, so angelic and smooth I want to scream she’s my best friend. Guilt tightens my guts, I should be capturing this moment. Olivia scoffs when she gets no reaction out of me, looping an arm around Nate’s waist, they waltz out of my sight. I take another deep breath, this night is for Maria, I won’t create a scene, I won’t ruin it. Getting back at Olivia will only result in a back and forth of dirty pranks, I want none of that.
I slapped her, she emptied a drink on me. We are even now.
There’s one thing Maria and my parents don’t know about me. I fight illegally in an underground ring. Mum and Dad will have a mini heart attack if they learn their daughter is somewhat of a champion at underground martial art, thanks to Hayden. And there’s no way to tell Maria without her diving into a series of questions, wanting to know why I haven’t beaten half the school’s population for giving me shit.The song—an original from Maria’s unnamed album—playing from the tiny speaker on the table filters into the room, the tension in my joints melts and I shuffle to stand in front of the mirror to start my stretches. I hear the faint cheering from outside and my heart skips a beat. Ten more minutes until my turn. Swiping my brown hair out of my face as I bend to touch my toes, I focus on keeping my raging heart under control and regulating my ragged breathing. In. In. In. Out. I exhale and repeat the process.Today&
The first round lasts fifty minutes. Blood rushes to my ears, I am bleeding behind the mask and my heart beats so loud above the cheers, I can hardly hear what Coach is saying. He squats in front of me, holding the water bottle to my mouth and I take a swig until my stomach protests. I wince when I lift the hem of my tank top and see blood. Coach presses a warm towel to my side, my teeth sink into my lip to stop from screaming or punching him. He should have discouraged me from getting into that ring tonight.“Are you okay?” Coach asks with a worried expression and I nod. I am not in the least bit okay. My body hurts like hell. I need to soak in a tub full of ice for a week and lock myself inside with buckets of ice-cream. “Tee.”“I’m fine.”At a regular taekwondo competition, we would have gotten helmets, shin guards and body protectors. The rules would have also applied—no kicks below the waist; headshots. But he
My head hurts, I’m certain I’ll see stars if I pry my eyes open so I bury my face in the pillow. Thank God today is Sunday, I don’t have to face anyone and Maria is still too busy getting her beauty rest from last night’s concert so she won’t notice I am missing. Mum’s voice reaches into the room from outside, my body goes rigid. I relax when I realise she’s on a phone call, rolling to my uninjured side at the sound of a knock. “Sweetheart?” “Mum.” The door opens without a fuss, I am grateful I didn’t lock it last night. I was too tired to think. Mum’s full head of curls pokes inside, I doubt she can see anything in this darkness called my room. “Sweetheart?” Putting on my phone’s flashlight, I wave it at the door so she can find her way to me. “In here.” My bed creaks as she lowers herself on the edge, I panic when I hear her fumbling for the switch of the bedside lamp. “No, not the lights.” She giggles but doesn’t attempt to touch it again, I use my
By Monday morning, I am still trending. It turns out a video of me getting dunked with iced coke by the Queen B herself is far more interesting than a video of Ben pecking Olivia in the middle of the cafeteria. Either way, the entire school is having a laugh at my expense and my fame doesn’t seem to be expiring soon. I don’t need the spotlight, they should be going crazy over Maria’s voice in the background of the original video. She sounded like an angel but no, those teenage devils will rather come for innocent me. “Sweetheart, you are going to be late,” Mum calls from somewhere downstairs. “I’m almost done,” I reply. I hear shuffling and her footsteps fade. Another ping comes from my phone, I ball my free hand into a fist, glare at my reflection in the mirror before taking a look at the sender. This time, it is Daniel, he wants to know if I am okay. Okay? I scoff. If they are taking turns sending me messages, then they must be super worried by my silence o
The hallway is silent, way too silent for a noisy school. Everyone is watching, feasting their eyes on us and waiting to see what Ben will do. As for me, I want to crawl into a hole and disappear. But I can’t move. Ben is so close to me I can see the cut on his lips, how the pupils of his blue eyes dilate in annoyance. He places both hands on either side of my head, leans till his nose brushes my ear and shivers spread down my back. His breath tickles my neck, I shut my eyes tight to avoid meeting his gaze and hug the textbooks to my chest like they can save me from his wrath. “Where were you Saturday night?” he asks in a clipped tone doused with anger, oblivious to the scene he is making. His voice is loud enough for anyone close to hear, my eyes flutter open and I swallow hard. From my peripheral view, I notice a few girls bring out their phones to start recording. Maria gawks at us, I can imagine the wheels in her head spinning out of control. It is not wh
I skip the second and third period. When the bell rings to signify the start of fourth period, I am feeling much better. AP Calculus class is empty, I take my place beside the window and plug in my earpiece. Maria’s voice floats into my ears, my head bobs to her cover of Beyonce’s solo. She has a whole album dedicated to covers. I chuckle at the reminder of this morning incident, she slapped Ben on my behalf. She has never slapped anyone in her life, not even a fly, she’s all bark and no bite, a total sweetheart. On instinct, my eyes lower to the seat I occupied on Friday. Will he come? If he will, I hope he trips on his way in and breaks his neck. Pressing the can of coke I snuck into class to my stomach, I drag down my shirt as the door opens. Abigail, a redhead with hot brains troops in. I know her name because she answers almost all of Mr Sam’s questions. She doesn’t say a word to me, no surprises there, we are not friends but her furious glare has me squirming. Okay, th
Everything changes after Ben’s punch. I don’t find the necklace and the pranks start. It started with the itching powder sprinkled on my books. Goosebumps cover my skin at the reminder. I don’t want to remember that episode or the serious swelling it caused. Mum panicked, Dad made me stay at home for a day. The jam on my locker came next. It took Maria dipping a finger into the thick, red mixture to convince me it wasn’t blood. The tampons made it look real and I know a certain she-devil who might have had a hand in that. Maybe it is all in my head but Ben hitting me in front of everyone encouraged this, made it kind of okay for them to unleash their reserved hate. Students are everywhere as I rush down the stairs, casting backward glances at intervals as if expecting someone to appear behind me. Someone named Maria. I am avoiding her and Daniel, they have made it their job to walk me to all my classes. I won’t let them continue babysitting me at the expense of being
I lied. Two can’t play the bully. I don’t want to be the bully, I just want to be the ignored student. There’s no evidence of yesterday’s mishap on the clean floors of BH. I use my hand to shield my eyes from the sunlight seeping in through the long window opposite the stairwell. My phone vibrates in my pocket, I ignore it and push away from the window with a sigh. I have graced the front page of the blog long enough to know this is a notification from my class group chat. They can make as many memes of me as they want, I don’t give two shits. On second thoughts, I pull out the Samsung phone and erupt in giggles at the text boldly written on my screen with the multiple exclamation marks for dramatic effects. Maria is freaking out on what to wear. She freaks out on almost everything. Under her text is a short video clip, I plug in my earpiece and hit the play button. Using my shoulder to keep my locker open, I ransack my backpack for my lunch tick
I feel like sexual assault against the male genders is not talked about as much as in the case of the female genders. As a friend to a few males who have been molested by people who were supposed to care for them, I knew I had to write about it someday. And I hope I was able to bring awareness to this, however little, through Ben. It’s never okay to molest a child. It’s never okay to molest anyone. That being said, here are some fun facts about this book; 1. It’s my first attempt at teenfiction. I was almost certain readers would notice and call me out on that. 2. BBTB was supposed to be a short story project. I was so worried it would be a flop so I planned to make it between 40-80 chapters. But the story grew wings and took off on its own. 3. This is the longest story I have ever written. I am just as surprised as you are and I was pleasantly shocked to see comments wanting their lovestory to go on for much longer. Those comments kept me going even on the bad days. So, thank y
It hurts too much. My body is on fire and it’s not yet right to push. Why isn’t it time? I need them to get the baby out of me. Not later, now. Sweat drips down my forehead and my eyes sting with tears. The doctor has stopped the bleeding. I have been cleaned up, changed into a hospital gown. They say everything is fine but it’s not. The contractions are ripping me from inside out and all Ben does is mutter unintelligible gibberish. He put the baby inside me, he should experience the pain too. “Are you okay?” Ben asks. I glare at him. How can I be okay? Whatever the doctor gave me is keeping me awake so I have no respite from the pain. Ben pushes my hair away from my sweaty forehead and I lean into him for comfort. I’m tired but I’m glad our son is okay. “I’m sorry, Gracie,” my husband says. Pushing past my pain, I offer him a questioning glance. Maddie is fine, right? My parents are okay too, right? Ben wipes the tears spill
I am packing up for Maddie’s weekend getaway when Ben strolls into her room. He picks a toy from the floor, tosses it into the air and catches it. I stall when he crosses over to me. All his attempts to take over the packing from me are futile. He protests by shaking his head. I am pregnant, not handicapped.When the bag is zipped up, I lower myself to the bed to catch my breath. Maybe I should have let him do it. But he never lets me do anything.Worried eyes stare into mine as Ben kneels between my legs. I’m fine, just tired. I pick the stuffed bear he dropped on the bed and sniff it. It smells like Maddie. And if I listen closely, I’ll hear her voice as she sings along with her favourite characters on TV.Maddie’s grandparents—my parents are in town because I’m due next week. They don’t want to miss it. She’s spending the weekend with them.Ben pries the bear from me and traces the
Laughter erupts from the living room, a kid’s voice follows and my lips curve in a smile. I pause the YuuTube tutorial I’m watching and set my tab down on the counter. I’m trying a new recipe I found online. Ben has been working extra hours so he can’t cook as much anymore and I’m tired of takeouts for dinner.With a hand under my belly, I meander to the living room. Maddie is on her feet, clapping and giggling at the television. There’s an old show playing. A family series I starred in one year after graduation. I clear my throat and my baby girl spins to face me. She grins and everything feels right. The nine hours of labour, the screams, the pain. They don’t matter.Running towards me, she stops a few inches from me and grabs my hand. “See Mummy,” she says, pointing at the television. I’m helping the second male lead set up his outfit for work. Her blue eyes flash with childlike innocence when she run
I feel the stare before I turn to Maria. “Will you stop?” I mutter. She says nothing but her eyes lower to my swollen belly, making it so obvious she had been staring. “Maria Vega.”“Theresa Carter.”Pink colours my cheeks. I hide my face in my palms and she bursts out laughing. It still feels so surreal being Mrs Carter, Ben’s wife. Our wedding was small and private like we both wanted. Aside from our family, we had our friends. Maria. Leah. Mira. Calum. Olivia also showed up. She and Ben are still in contact. We are kind of cool.Thinking about the wedding makes me smile and I twist the ring on my forth finger. My promise ring remains on my middle finger.I sit up and cross my legs. There are some pictures from the wedding scattered all over the living room floor. Maria didn’t get a chance to see them before her flight. She had a concert that day. I rub a hand over my stomach. Ben didn’t
Where is Ben? We will be late.I step out of the bathroom in only a towel and sashay to the wardrobe to get the gown for our date. There are a few options but I select a navy blue off-shoulder gown. Flipping through my playlist, I settle on Maria’s new single and settle down in front of the vanity to make myself up.A smile curves my lips as I brush my hair. I don’t look so bad at all. The makeup tutorial classes on YuuTube and Maria’s extra sessions come in handy as I apply foundation to my face. My gaze flies to the door. I’m in my room. Ben wasn’t in his room when I checked but he should be getting ready.The door creaks. I look up but Ben doesn’t walk in. My eye makeup is done. I apply a bright red lipstick and the door finally opens. Ben stalks into the room wearing a tux. My man is hot but in a suit and Oxford leather shoes, he is hotter. He closes the door with his foot and leans on it so I can assess
The drive to Ben’s office is a blur. I’m out of the car and in front of his office in a flash. I miss him. And I haven’t seen him in eight hours.I knock once on the door and open before he ushers me inside. Locking the door behind me, I bridge the gap between us and crush him in a hug. We live in the same house but God, I want to be in his presence all the time.“You’re back so early,” Ben says against my lips. I kiss him hard to make up for the hours without any kisses. Ben chuckles and hoists me on the edge of his desk. Then, he stands between my legs. “I missed you too, babe.”I grin. “I missed you more.”Ben touches his forehead to mine. “You’re here,” he says. His smile is sad. I nod against his body and his hands slip into my gown. I help him with the zip and pout. “I didn’t think you would make it today.”I had a pho
The mixer whirrs to life. I throw in more flour, add three eggs and whisk the batter into a smooth mix. Calum, my unwilling apprentice, watches from behind the counter. He came in last night. On my command, Calum oils the pans for the cake and turns on the oven. Done, he edges close to me. I swat his hand before he dips his finger into the mix. “Come on, Tessa. I came all this way, let me have some.” I roll my eyes. He came all this way, uninvited but I’m happy to see him. I empty the batter into the small pan. We will eat from that. “Just a taste.” “Fine.” I shove the spatula in his face and he snatches it from me. My face scrunches in disgust when he licks the spatula clean like a hungry dog. “Calum, what’s wrong with you?” He shrugs. “Nothing?” It feels like there’s something but I continue emptying the batter into the pans. When I’m done, I bring out the ingredients for the icing. Today is Ben’s
A look of fear flashes across her face. She levels me with a stare that shows she’s trying to control her temper. It’s unfair that I have to watch her kiss other guys under the guise of it being part of the job. “You are just making up scenarios that don’t exist,” she says. “Your job doesn’t even require it, Benny.” “But your job does...” I twist my hands so hard they ache. She doesn’t get it. “...and I don’t like it, Gracie.” Various emotions flicker on her face. She opens and closes her mouth twice without saying a word. The third time, she murmurs, “You asked me to trust you when Elena was involved, right?” I did. And I’ve established boundaries at the office, at school too. For fuck’s sake, she’s my screensaver, I wear my ring. They know I belong to Gracie. “So, can you please trust me on this one? It’s just a job, babe.” “Babe, it’s not the same.” Gracie stomps her feet in annoyance. I grit my teeth. She’s not the only one getti