4. Brian's Devestation

BRIAN'S POV

           I left for Lyla's house. I went in through the front door because her parents were away this week. Normally, I had to get in through the attic, the only room upstairs with a window facing outward. This was the thing. Lyla and I knew so much about each other; I just couldn't accept the fact that she would do this to me. We had snuck out of her house multiple times. Several times she had called me to come get her when her abusive father was torturing her mother. I just couldn't fathom why she would do this to me. 

The house was eerily silent. I walked up to her room and knocked at her door with determination. The events of the past few days have really shattered my confidence. With newfound courage and hope, I have come to Lyla's door to give our relationship a second chance.

         The door was opened by a shirtless guy with red smudging around his mouth . Across the room, I see Lyla standing there, wearing a red lip. I could not register the intense waves of shock my body received. I used to love how she looked in red lipstick. I would often ask her to wear it for me because I used to think it was only meant for me. Her smudged red lip was proving how wrong I was. I had been so foolish, hadn't I? I had actually considered giving our relationship another chance. And yet again, my heart was wrenching to try once more. Maybe she had some explanation for this. Maybe she could just magically make this all go away. I walked past the guy to her.

      "Can we talk?" I ask. She asks the guy to leave the room. I snicker to myself, pitying myself. "I came here thinking I'd tell you that I wanted to give us a second chance, but I guess you're having fun." I said.

   She lights a cigarette for herself. "Brian, I… I have nothing to say in my defense. Believe me, I really was devastated that night; however, I think this was a much-needed break. And this week I realized, This is who I am; this was me before I met you, and even then I wanted us to be in an open relationship, but you refused."

     "Then you could have rejected me! You should have! Before we fell in love with each other. Or did you even love me at all?”

      "Yes, of course." She had tears in her eyes, but now I felt no pity for her. "I…I don’t know anymore, Brian. All I know is that this really isn't me. I'm sorry, but I can't keep up with this anymore."

     "So it's over?" I whisper my question to her. When she does not reply, I gulp and walk out of the room. As I walk down the hallway, the walls seem to be closing in on me. How did we suddenly go from a couple that everyone envied to the couple everyone was pitying and gossiping about? 

      And it pisses me off. It really does. I'm not some charity case, people can coddle and comfort. I'll find some way to comfort myself.

        I leave her place and begin to jog, which then turns into a sprint. The cold draught hitting my face, my nose began to go numb.

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STEPHANIE’S POV

             It's been pouring heavily ever since Brian left. When Simon woke up and found out where Brian had gone, he had been really mad at me for letting him go. But deep down, he knew that this confrontation was inevitable and much needed. Since he did not have much to do in the house, he left to see Rita.

        After coming back from work, I had the entire house to myself. I liked rain; it romanticized reading all the more. I had my nose in my book, when I heard a loud thud at the door. I opened the door to find Brian soaked from head to toe, dripping wet. I saw his face red with anger. I ran to get a towel and began drying his hair.

     "She wants to end things, Steph. She doesn't want to be with me anymore." He slurred, scoffing. “ Heck, it looked like she didn't even regret it.”  He was drunk for sure. His words brought misery to my heart. I hated seeing his agony. "I'll run a hot bath for you, so we can get you out of these clothes, okay?" 

     I left to fill his bath. When I came back, he was still seated on the couch in a daze.

   "Come on Brian, or else you will catch a cold." I guided him to the bathroom, where he sat down by the tub. I looked at him for a few minutes. When he showed no signs of movement, I crouched down on my knees and held his face in my palms. 

   "Brian, please don't do this to yourself. There are so many people out there who love you—your parents, Simon," I said after a pause, "and me." His eyes flickered to mine as I mentioned myself. "We all really care about you, and it breaks us to see you anguished like this. Please stop treating yourself—" Before I could finish the sentence, Brian closed the distance between us. I had always fantasized about kissing Brian, but I had never imagined it would take place in these circumstances. Yet here I was, stroking my fingers through the wet hair of this man, who had just broken up with his girlfriend. I knew I would regret this decision later. But this was Brian. I had always made reckless decisions when it came to him.

The kiss barely lasted for two seconds, and it was Brian who drew away first. My lips were parted, immediately craving the absence of his touch. I opened my eyes to a horrified-looking Brian. My heart sank when I saw the look on his face. I pushed myself away from him until my back hit the bathroom wall. 

   "I'm sorry." I said the only thing that came to mind, even though I had no idea what I was sorry for; he had kissed me first. But then, I also wanted to be kissed. I had also reciprocated the kiss. Maybe an apology was required here.

     "No," he murmured, "It's my fault; I'm sorry." I hated that. I hated the fact that he regretted kissing me. "I'm just not in the right headspace right now." He went on.

       "Your bath is ready," I mumbled. I was still glued to the wall. "I'm going upstairs; if you need anything, just let me know." I wanted to run to my room, lock myself in my room and never show my face to the world; that was how embarrassed I was. As I drifted past him, his warm fingers wrapped around my wrist, forcing me to a stop. My heart started pounding against my chest rapidly.

    "Steph, just—" he stopped mid-sentence, his eyes not meeting, "if you could not tell Simon about this." 

     "Don't worry; I don't want him to know about this either." I replied and scurried out of the bathroom.

     Back in my room, I sat on my bed, with the bed sheet crumpled under my fingers. I hated this. I really did not like this feeling, and I loathed myself even more for letting him treat me like this. I know Kylie was going to kill me the second she heard about this, and I really could not blame her. I knew I did not deserve this. I knew how much this was hurting me, yet every time I looked at him, my heart would soften for him.