LOGINShare
The First Letter
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56‘13 July 2010
To Jonathan
I will probably never give you this letter but I am still writing it for the sake of my sanity. I have been going crazy ever since you asked me out. I am so confused and I don’t know what to do. My feelings are all over the place and I am stuck in a whirlwind of emotions. Isn’t it crazy that when I wanted your attention you never looked at me that way and now that I am trying to save my heart by keeping my distance you are pleading with me to let you in? I am torn between the instinct to protect my heart and to let you in and give in to my feelings. You have always been out of my league Jonathan, I am just a simple girl and you are like some celebrity in the university. Amongst so many girls vying for your attention, what made you notice me? I am just a wildflower when compared to them. I had a crush on you ever since Alice introduced me to you, not that I will ever admit it in front of you but then you opened your mouth and ruined it all.
When we had met for the first time you had behaved like an arrogant jerk, you were so sure that I will fall for your looks and charm just like other girls, and that day I had been more than happy to deflate your humongous ego which would have put dinosaurs to shame. The look on your face was priceless when I told you that I would rather stay alone than falling for some wannabe celebrity. We continued our banter for days to come and unknowingly we became friends. It wasn’t until the end of our first year when I began noticing little things about you like how you rake your hair when you are nervous or irritated or how you put your hands in your jeans pocket when you feel sad. It was around that time when I began falling for you and before you think that I began falling for your looks let me tell you that I didn’t care for your looks. I fell for the guy who cared so much for his sister that he ran out in the pouring rain just because she had a cold and wanted some chicken soup, the guy who was so loyal that he would rather suffer the punishment than betray his friends and the guy who was capable of so much compassion that he allowed some stranger to crash in his house when there was a storm outside.
When the Second year came you began flirting with me, making me blush at every chance you got and that was when for the first time I felt that maybe just maybe you also liked me the way I did. But then as soon as the thought came it flew away when I found you and Victoria kissing in the hallway. I was crushed. Alice asked you about it and you said that it was just a kiss and nothing more than that. It was on the same day when Matt a guy from our class asked me out and unable to refuse the hopeful look on his face I had said yes. At first, you had been angry but when Alice reminded you that it was none of your business your anger drained out and you became sad. However, it was my only date with Matthew, and to be honest it sucked because you were the only thing that I could think about during the date.
I was so angry at myself for not being able to chuck you out of my mind and for having these feelings for you when I knew that you will never be serious about such relationships. I wanted to talk to somebody so bad but I had no one to talk to because talking to you about my feelings would have been painfully awkward and Alice being your sister could not know about my feelings for you. So I started maintaining my distance from you, instead of coming over to your house for sleepovers, I began calling Alice over to my dorm, Talking to you only when it was absolutely necessary. I tried to ignore you as much as I could. I had no idea until today that keeping a distance from you had affected you too.
As I was going to the cafeteria today, you caught my wrist and I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through my arm, from the look on your face you felt it too. I asked you what did you want and you replied that you just wanted me. I was shocked and happy but then I remembered that you are never serious about these things, my mind going back to that kiss you shared with Victoria last year and your answer after that. I think that I was more affected by your answer to Alice about that kiss than I was by catching you and Victoria kissing. I told you to stop playing games with me. Your grip on my wrist tightened as if you knew I was going to walk away and then you told me that you were done with hiding your feelings and trying to suppress them. You said “Please Liza, give me a chance and give us a chance. Will you please go on a date with me?”
The sincerity in your voice and that look in your ever expressive eyes asking me to give ‘Us’ a chance shocked me and I would have agreed to go out with you right away had my mind not protested bringing back my low self-confidence and making me question that why would you even want me. I told you I needed time to think and you said that I had all the time I needed and that you will be waiting for my answer and by the look in your eyes I could tell that you will wait for me even if I take an era to answer
I will tell you ‘Yes’ tomorrow. I know that you were never serious about relationships before but I also know that you will never hurt me, at least not intentionally. I have my own insecurities Jonathan, I have my own nightmares and it will not be easy for me knowing that although you can have any girl in the university you are still choosing me. I am afraid Jonathan but I trust you. I trust you enough to leave my heart in your hands, I just hope that you will not break it and maybe it is too soon and maybe I am crazy but I think that in all the time in which I was trying to keep my distance I have managed to make myself fall for you even more.
Eternally in love with you,
Yours and only yoursLiza.’Jonathan had often wondered that what had been going through Liza’s head when she had asked for some time to think. He remembered how he had wanted to stop Liza from going on that date with Matt, there was jealousy raging inside him when Liza had agreed to the date but along with it he had felt fear, he had been afraid that Liza might fall for Matthew. Initially, he had enjoyed bantering with Liza and within months their casual bantering had turned into a friendship.
He didn’t remember when or how he fell for Liza. He just knew that loved Liza, he loved the way she shyly tucked her hair behind her ear, the way she bit her lips when she was nervous. He loved that although his Liza was the sweetest and kindest person he had ever come across she was never afraid to stand up for her views and was feisty as hell when someone crossed her. He knew that Liza was insecure and that she had her own emotional baggage to carry but he loved even that part of her because it was what made her his Liza.
There was a soft smile on Jonathan’s face as he forgot about his demand for divorce, Liza’s betrayal, and just remembered the sweet old times. There was no trace of the hungover man he had been before reading the letter as he read it over and over again.
Related chapters
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife First Date
A sharp knock on the door brought Jonathan back to his senses, the soft smile that had been on his face slipped away as he put the letter aside and got up to open the door. On the other side of the door stood an elderly woman probably in her sixties her hair seemed to be made of finest silver threads, her blue eyes full of warmth. Her mouth turned down in a disapproving expression as she examined the state of the room and Jonathan.“Your mother won’t be happy to see the state you are in my dear boy. I thought that you were more mature than this. Do you think drinking will solve all your problems?" she questioned him disappointedly and before Jonathan could say something she continued “Look at yourself. You are such a mess. Go have a bath and I will prepare breakfast while you are at it" she said and left before waiting for a reply.Maria had been with Jonathan since he was a child and to this day she had remained with him. She was like a second mother
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Missing Piece
Some letters had been particularly difficult for him like the one in which Liza had written about the time they had confessed love for each other. He still remembered clearly, they had been attending their friend’s wedding and Liza was going on and on about how beautiful it was to be tied in the bond of marriage and how lucky their friends were to find true love when he had suddenly blurted out ‘ I love you ‘.As soon as he realized the words he had said he had flushed red. Liza had looked at him with wide eyes before smiling softly and saying “I know, I have known it for a long time”. Then she had once again turned towards the couple. “You didn’t say it back” he had said and she had replied with a chuckle “Love, I have said this to you every day. Every time we say goodbye and you have said it back to me every single time”. He had then realized that for the past seven months he had been telling her ‘I Love you&
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Operating Room
Currently, Jonathan was sitting outside the operation theatre. The too sterile smell of the hospital was making his nose itch, the white walls were making his eyes sting, making it difficult to focus on a single thing and the nurses rushing to and fro, some carrying patients on stretchers while some carrying medicines and other tools were sending him into a state of panic. Jonathan strongly disliked hospitals they never seemed to bring good news for him. But it was not his dislike for hospitals nor was the still sobbing Alice sitting beside him in a similar small and literally a pain in the ass grey metal chair that had him worried and praying frivolously instead it was the tiny red light blinking above the door of operation chair, signifying that Liza was still in danger.As soon as Jonathan had recovered from the devastating effects of Alice’s words, he had gone into action mode. He had thrown on a decent enough shirt and jeans, not caring whether suited each other or
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Not Her Husband
Jonathan raked his fingers through his hair as he sat on the brown leather couch. Letters were scattered all around him and He was getting more and more frustrated and confused by every passing minute. Jonathan hadn’t moved from the hospital for two days straight. Him and Alice quietly taking turns to go to the washroom or taking a nap. They still hadn’t spoken a word to each other after Alice’s outburst. After two days of starving, Jonathan had fainted and the doctors had sent him to rest at home. Still shaken up by the accident and Alice’s outburst Jonathan had managed to come back to his house and had collapsed on his bed. However, he had been unable to sleep.In the beginning, the memories which he shared with Liza kept haunting him, and then when they began to fade his mind began playing the words that Alice had said, replaying them over and over again until he couldn’t take them. The accusatory tone of Alice echoed in his ears and he was reminded of the sins he had done.
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Facing His Sins
Jonathan had no idea how long he had been sitting in the darkness with only a small patch of light from the lamp. Maria had come and had gone; even she wasn’t able to bring Jonathan out of his room, as he sat there his body shaking with silent sobs. His heart was heavy and so was his soul. While his heart was aching for the pain he had put Liza through, his conscience was ripping him apart one piece at a time as it replayed all those times when he had lied to Liza to spend some time with Stacy. He had always claimed that he loved Liza more than she loved him, because to him, she was like his life source, always giving him the strength to move forward. But now it seemed to him that the amount of love he had for Liza didn’t even hold a candle to the love Liza had for him. She had known about his sins and had still stayed by his side. She had hoped that he would come back for her, she had faith in their love, and she believed that their love would bring him back on the righ
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife The Day You Stopped Loving Me
It was still dark outside and the small bulb was the only source of light in the dreary hospital room. Even the deep green curtains were drawn close, blocking all the light coming from outside. Jonathan had now taken to holding Liza’s hand. He sat in the small chair beside her bed as he studied the shadow cast by the light on her pale face. Liza’s brown hair was matted and her cheeks had sunken in making her look weak. Jonathan sighed, thinking how much he wished to lay down beside her but the grey hospital bed was not big enough to fit them both and he was afraid of hurting Liza, so he stayed put in his place.Jonathan had been building up his courage to read the letters for hours now but he still seemed to be afraid to read them. The beautiful box that was lying in his lap felt heavy to him. He knew that if he truly wanted to earn Liza’s forgiveness, he was going to have to read them; he was going to have to understand the pain Liza went through. Gulping, he
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Trust
Jonathan wiped the tears from Liza’s cheeks, the same tears which had taken form in his eyes but had dropped down on Liza’s cheeks just like his mistakes. The tears left a faint mark behind on Liza’s pale skin just like his betrayal had left scars on her heart. It was getting harder for Jonathan to live with himself, each letter he read brought on a new wave of pain and guilt. But he knew that his punishment was not over so he in the haze of his pain he picked up another letter not noticing that it was dated way back, it was dated back to the time when he was still loyal, still capable of being loved, and still happy.‘26th November 2012To JonathanDo you know that you are the best boyfriend ever? If not then I will make sure you do. I will chant it every day if that is what it takes for you to believe it. Though I am not sure if Boyfriend and girlfriend is even the correct word for what we are now. These terms seem
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Stacy
Stacy sat on a metal chair near the reception area. Her brown eyes were a bit red from all the crying she had done in the past few days. She had always taken pride in the fact that she never made wrong decisions in her life but now she could no longer claim that. She was wearing a fitted white skirt suit and her blonde hair was in a neat bun. She should have felt confident but as she sat there waiting for Jonathan to come she couldn’t help but feel nervous.She had joined Jonathan’s company only with one goal in her mind which was to create a place for herself; she didn’t have the intention of falling for Jonathan. But the more she saw him interacting with his employees, the more she began to like him. He genuinely cared for her welfare and at that time she didn’t realize that what she had was mere infatuation. Things accelerated quickly after their drunken kiss, she fell for him even more never realizing that he would never love her back. It didn&rsqu
Latest chapter
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Bonus Chapter - The Kiss That Started It All *2)
Jonathan went to his office and called Liza. Stacy's hug didn't feel right to him. It was as if his body was rejecting her touch. However, feeling her press herself into him made his ache for Liza grow. He was going to go home and take Liza out tonight. He would finally get to spend some time alone with her. It had been days since he had properly talked to Liza and he intended to set it right. He planned on taking the next day off and spending it with Liza. He would make sure to make it up to her. Liza never complained but he knew that she got lonely. Alice kept Liza Company, but she had her own life and couldn't be always there. Then there were those nightmares. Liza still suffered from nightmares, they weren't that often but they still plagued her sometimes. He hated staying in the office while Liza could be fending off the horrible nightmares on her own.Liza's phone kept ringing but she didn't pick it up. After calling her for the fourth time, she finally picked it. "Hey
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Bonus - The Kiss That Started It All Part 1
Jonathan sighed as he loosened his tie and shrugged off his jacket. It had been a tiring day for him. The office work was continuously piling on in heaps, there wasn't even a single moment to spare since the last three days. His company was rapidly emerging as one of the most profitable companies in the country. He hadn't reached the goal yet but he was sure he would.He remembered when he had taken over this company, it had been a fledgling then. He had worked hard to get where he was now. He had given up so much to take this company to heights and to make it successful. For the past three years, the only thing that had been on his mind was this making this company big. He had worked day and night and had put everything in his life on the back burner for it. He would have never made it without Liza. She stood behind him, like his biggest supporter.Liza... he missed her so much. He had barely seen her last month. He never had time. He would come home late and go
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Bonus Chapter - Ice Cream
2nd year of the collegeDing-dong. Jonathan rang the doorbell and tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for Alice to open the door. He had an important test tomorrow and Alice wasting his time asking him to run errands for her. He tightened his grip on the ice cream bucket he had and rang the doorbell again. He looked at his silver watch. He had been very busy lately, with his finals and the football tournament coming up, the stress was piling upon him. He absolutely hated wasting his time but then Alice was his sister and he could never say no to her. He had even agreed to buy tampons for her once even though after that his friends had given him a hard time, cracking jokes at his expense.He sighed as he shifted the ice cream bucket to his left hand and held up his right hand to knock on the door again. He knocked on the door "Alice, open up the door" he shouted. He shifted his weight from one foot to another as he waited. He had an important test on Jane Austen’s 'Pride
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Epilogue
Have you ever read something, so familiar as if it is your own life story? Did you feel the growing sense of recognition in your stomach? Or have you felt the sympathy that you wished someone felt when you were suffering? Well, Liza did. As she read each word of the manuscript in her hand, she felt the growing sense of familiarity. She wanted to reach out and console the female protagonist of the novel, she wanted to wipe her tears and tell her that it will be better when that girl found out that her husband was cheating on her. It felt as if she was living it all again and though it had been nearly three years those memories still brought tears to her eyes.Liza sat there in her office all night reading through the manuscript, as the female protagonist confronted her husband, kicked him in the balls (something that Liza wished she had done). The lead of the novel was much more independent than Liza ever was, she was one of those characters with whom you wouldn't want to mess
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife New Life
2 years laterAlice knocked on the clear glass door. She could see Jonathan's head bent down over a file. He knocked on the door. "Come in," Jonathan said in a distracted voice. "You didn't even look up to see, who was it. What if it was one of those annoying people you don't want to meet?" she asked. "First of all who said you were not annoying and secondly Dave wouldn't have let you in if I didn't want to meet you" he said, still looking at the file. "At least look at me when you are talking. I just came back from Paris and you can't even spare few minutes to talk about the meal you do is work. Why don't you ever take a break?" Alice said pouting. Jonathan sighed as he kept the file aside and looked at her. "Are you happy now?” he asked. "Somewhat, but now I have to see your shitty face," she said lightly, teasing him. "I don't have time for jokes Alice, just say what you want to and go. I am busy" he said."You are always busy Jonathan. When will you get over it? Ever
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Lizzy Bear
Alex had been waiting for Liza's call all morning. He didn't know if Liza had made the right choice by leaving Jonathan because he could see how torn she really was over leaving Jonathan. He knew that Liza was determined to find herself and he knew that once she set her heart at something she would never back away from it. But he worried for her. There was a time when he had loved Liza. She had been the only one to see past the mask he put on, the only one to believe in him when even his parents had given up hope. But that was a long time ago. He still loved Liza but like a friend. He had seen Liza when she had told him about when Liza and Jonathan had first met. He could see the sparkle in her eyes as she had talked about it. Alex wasn't sure if he could ever bring that spark in her eyes. He loved Liza but for now, he was content in standing behind her as she moved ahead with her life.Jonathan woke up to find himself sitting against the wall in Liza’s bedroom. Unlike last ti
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife The Decision
Liza had been nervous all day. She had been second-guessing her decision and now as she looked at herself in the mirror all dressed up, she still wasn't sure if she was making the right choice. Liza suddenly wished that there was an on and off switch for the feelings. It would have been so much easier for her, had she been numb, she would have left Jonathan easily without a moment of hesitation but since she still had feelings for him, she had to suffer now. Liza hated being so conflicted. It was difficult not to second guess herself when her heart was on the line.Liza had been through so much pain and she didn't want to be in pain anymore. It would be difficult and too painful for her to leave Jonathan and it would hurt her too much to stay with Jonathan too. There was no choice that would be painless for her. By choosing to stay with Jonathan her confidence, her self-respect and her values would be compromised but by leaving Jonathan her heart would be ripped apart.L
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife Letter From An Ex-Husband
Liza eyed the box kept on her nightstand warily. It was like Pandora’s Box. Liza knew that it would only add to her conflicted feelings and should leave it like that, but she was also having trouble in resisting the temptation to open it. She had always been curious and this box was increasing her inquisitiveness every second. Finally, frustrated with herself, Liza gave in to the temptation and opened the box while cursing herself.She slid open the lid of the box to find a rose-colored paper folded and kept on the box in which she kept the letters she wrote to Jonathan but never gave him. Liza was surprised that Jonathan had found the box. She had meant to take the box with her when she had left the house but had somehow managed to forget it. To be honest she had forgotten all about the Letters. She had started writing letters as a way to let out her feelings, those feelings which were next to impossible for her to tell Jonathan in person.Growing up, Liza never had many f
Broken Promises: Letters From An Ex-Wife White Box
Jonathan paced back and forth in his room. It had been two days since he had last talked to Liza and Alice would be coming back any day now. He had wasted all the time he had in being Jealous and overbearing. He hated the fact he somehow always ended up hurting Liza. He could never do it right. He had tried numerous times but he always said the wrong words. He knew that he was being selfish by asking Liza to forgive him and give him a second chance but he couldn't help it. Liza was like a drug for him and he couldn't get enough of her. He had made a grave mistake when he had let himself get blinded by Stacy's charms and had let go of the most important woman in his life. Liza was too precious to be lost, he had cheated on her, broken her trust, and had lost his faith in her.Liza hated grand gestures. She had never been a fan of them, so Jonathan knew that performing grand gestures was not an option for earning her apology. He had to think of something which was like Liza, war
