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Life is good for Richard VanRyan.His family is growing. His life is rich. He has everything he could desire, and he is blessed with all he never knew he needed.Until the day his past shows up and tosses a grenade into his future.What happens when the man you used to be casts a shadow over the man you are today?Can the two worlds merge in peace, or will one cause the other to splinter?Can forgiveness be earned or does it come with too high a price?RICHARDT wilight was closing in all around as I stood on the deck, gazing over the water. The last echoes of daylight caught the movement of the ocean,the never-ending kaleidoscope of colors swirling under the fading light.I sipped my scotch, appreciating the smooth, rich flavor as it slipped down my throat. I contemplated my life as I watched daylight bleed into night— Katy’s favorite time of day. It always seemed so odd that someone so filled with light should prefer the inkiness of dark around her, but that was my Katy. Zigging wh
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2RICHARD“T hanks, Richard. I owe you.” Jenna’s voice was warm and affectionate. I chuckled. “You owe me more than I can count,” I responded, catching Katy’s eye across the table and winking. “You are going to be lost without me around every day.”I hung up, still grinning. Katy set aside her Kindle. “Jenna is going to miss you. She was quite vocal about it last week when we had lunch.”Katy and Jenna were good friends, and Jenna was the co-CEO of The Gavin Group. Her brother Adam was the other half of the duo that ran the organization. Until my retirement, I had been president, a role that would be filled by Jenna’s husband, Adrian.“She’ll be fine. I stayed longer than I planned. She and Adam have this under control. With Brad and the team we have assembled, The Gavin Group will be solvent for years in this industry, even without me.”“Graham must be so pleased,” she said quietly.I nodded, thinking about my mentor, the man I considered a father figure, and my friend. He had retire
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3RICHARDM addox waited by the security door, a wide grin on his face when he saw us. I was greeted with our usual backslapping and a manly hug. Katygot a kiss on the cheek and a much longer hug.When my son-in-law Jaxson appeared, I chuckled and accepted his handshake, looking around.“No Gracie or Kylie?” I asked, surprised. “No bride-to-be? Where are my girls?”He looked at Katy with a wink, bending low to press a kiss to her cheek. She cupped his face, smiling at him. “So handsome. Isn’t he handsome, Richard?”I sniffed. “If you like that sort, I suppose.”He elbowed me. “Gracie does. Gracie likes me a lot.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Twice last night.”“Jesus, TMI, Jaxson. That’s my daughter.”“Just working on more grandkids for you, Pops.” I shook my head, ignoring Maddox’s laughter.“The girls are at home. Kylie had a bit of a fever, so Gracie didn’t want to bring her.”“Fever? Is she all right?”“It’s a cold. Someone always has a cold in day care. She has the sniffles.”I fel
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4RICHARDI walked to the beach, enjoying the fresh air and breeze. Long, lazy waves lapped at the sand, the peacefulness of the area always pleasing. Theendless scope of water and sky. It was hard to believe this little piece of paradise existed so close to the bustling metropolis of Toronto. I loved it here, and I had always enjoyed the chance to recharge my batteries when we came to stay. I knew Katy wanted to come more often to be with our girls, and I had no objections to that. I turned and looked at the houses that dotted the landscape. Each one contained people I thought of as family. Having grown up in a dysfunctional house where I was ignored and cast aside, this group of people meant the world to me. This blended found family was a huge part of our life, and they meant as much to Katy and my kids as they did to me.I climbed the steps to the Hub, opening the door, grinning when I heard the voices of Bentley, Aiden, and Maddox. As I came around the corner, they looked up, sm
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5RICHARDI pulled up in front of the Hub and shut off the engine. I ran a hand through my hair with a sigh. It had been a productive meeting and the outcomesuccessful for The Gavin Group. I had spoken to Jenna during the seemingly never-ending drive back to Port Albany, and she was pleased.I was relieved to get out of the car. How people did that commute daily, I had no idea. I had called Katy to tell her traffic was awful, and she said she was heading to the Hub for drinks and to join her when I arrived.I needed a scotch about now. I hoped someone had ordered pizza or something. I was starving.I was so preoccupied with my thoughts, I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until I was about halfway across the expansive area of the main floor. Suddenly, it hit me the room was full, and I stopped as everyone threw up their arms, yelling “Surprise!” at me.I gazed around in shock, taking in the Happy Retirement sign, the smiling faces, and my wife approaching me, her eyes dancin
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6RICHARDI woke up the next morning, slightly worse for wear. I rubbed a hand over my aching head with a small grimace and sat up gingerly. The sun washigh in the sky, and I could hear the muted sounds of laughter and talking coming from outside. Glancing at the clock, I shook my head. I couldn’t recall the last time I had slept until almost noon. I also couldn’t recall the last time I had danced and laughed so much. It had been a great party. Lots of food, top-shelf liquor, hilarity, and love. The standard family get-together with this group. We had stumbled home around two, my arm thrown over Katy’s shoulder, stopping every few feet to kiss her mouth and tell her how pretty she was or how much I loved her.It took us a long time to cover the short distance.On the nightstand were a bottle of water and a couple of Tylenol, which I swallowed gratefully. As usual, my Katy knew what I would need and took care of it in her quiet way. I shuffled to the bathroom and took a long shower, t
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7RICHARDT here were sixteen of us for golf. Four foursomes up to no good. Maddox, Aiden, Van, and I all wore the ridiculous golf uniform Maddoxpicked out for us. Built larger like Aiden, Van at least wore his in the right size. Everything about Aiden’s was too tight.Bentley’s team wore the usual polo shirt and dark pants. Liam’s team all wore shorts. Hunter’s team was dressed like carpenters. We picked names, created games, and then proceeded to make fools of ourselves, enjoying every moment. There were golf cart races, made-up scores, and shenanigans galore. Even Bentley cheated more than once, nudging Aiden’s ball into the water, which made Aiden bend low to pick it up.We all heard the loud rending of his pants. He stood so fast, he lost his balance, falling into the water and pulling Van with him who had gone to help. Sixteen grown men all laughing and falling to the ground in amusement brought management over with the quiet suggestion we had played enough for the day.Not rea
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8RICHARDT he next day dawned bright and beautiful. I was up early and went for a jog on the beach, breathing in the cool morning air. Maddox joined me,and we ran the length of the beach several times, finally stopping and sitting on the rocks, watching the slow, lazy waves.“Great day,” I uttered, taking a long drink of my water. “Stellar,” Maddox replied. “You doing okay?”I laughed dryly, turning my head and meeting my best friend’s gaze. We’d weathered a lot of storms together over the years. Watched our kids grow, lamenting on time going too quickly. Helped each other through tough times. I doubted I would be where I was today if it weren’t for Maddox Riley.“I’m fine, Mad Dog. I slept like a baby last night. No walking the floors, worrying over my daughter getting married. It’s different with Heather than it was for Gracie.”“Why do you think that is?” he asked.I shrugged. “Maybe because they’ve lived together for so long. Maybe because I’ve known Reed most of his life, and I
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A my pulled off a miracle and, in ten minutes, had chocolate milk and a donut for Gracie. She sat with her, stitching her skirt as I changed into another suit, grateful my shirt had been spared the splatter. I sat down, sipping my coffee in appreciation. It was rare Amy brought me a cup, so when she did, I enjoyed it. I looked at the schedule. “Can we switch any of this?”“I already changed what I could. I have explained to the clients, and they are fine for a more casual meeting in your office.”I scrubbed my chin, realizing I hadn’t shaved today. “Okay. I’ll do my best. Can Gracie sit with you for a bit?”She shook her head. “Today is the training on the new software, Richard. If I miss it again, I won’t get another chance. I’ll only be gone two hours. I’m sure everything will be fine.”“Anyone else kid-friendly?”Again, she shook her head. “We’re all scheduled. And we’re already short. We’re swamped.”“I’ll be good, Daddy,” Gracie said, slipping off the sofa and twirling. Her skirt
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TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAYRICHARDI sat down next to Katy, chuckling as she moved her coffee cup out of my reach. Or at least thought she did. I leaned over and nuzzled her neck.“You smell so good, my Katy,” I murmured, darting my tongue out to taste her.She shivered, and I reached across her, grabbing her cup and sitting back in my chair, triumphant. I took a long, appreciative sip. “Ah, delicious.”She huffed out an annoyed breath. “There is a full pot, Richard. Why do you always have to steal mine?”“It tastes better. I keep telling you that.” “It’s the same coffee!”I shook my head. “Your lips touched the mug, my wife. It’s far sweeter.” Her annoyance turned into amusement.“You think you can sweet-talk me?”I tilted my head, studying her. “Isn’t it working?”She began to laugh. “Such a cheeseball.” She chuffed Heather under the chin, smiling as our baby kicked her feet against the high chair. “Your daddy is such a cheeseball.”“An incredibly good-looking, sexy cheeseball,
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ASHLEYRichard—Dad—peeked out into the room where Luc and I would exchange our vows. The space was decorated with flowers and pine, the scent filling the air. I hadn’t wanted an over-the-top Christmas theme, but I went with gold, ivory, and burgundy and some fir and evergreen to add to the mix.He returned to my side and tucked my arm through the crook of his. He patted my hand in comfort. “Luc is there. Pacing like a lion.”I chuckled. “He does that when he’s anxious and there isn’t a keyboard around to work on.”He nodded in understanding. “He’s waiting for you.” “I hope he’s not disappointed,” I admitted.He gaped at me. “How can you say that, Ashley? You’re absolutely gorgeous. You took my breath away.”I smiled, feeling self-conscious. “I like simple things,” I admitted. “Clean lines, not a lot of fuss. My dress is pretty plain in comparison to some.”“I like your style. It’s classic and beautiful. It suits you, and you look exquisite. He is going to be blown away.”I felt my che
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RICHARDI straightened my tie, glancing in the mirror. My cowlick was acting up today, and I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly, trying to tamp itdown. I had no idea why I was feeling so nervous—I had done this before and knew my part. Walk her down the aisle, say a few words, then sit beside Katy.But today felt different. As if I had finally finished a long walk and could rest.The door opened, and Katy slipped out, smiling. She walked toward me, lovely in a green dress, her hair swept up. Her dress was longer than usual, but there was a slit on one side that showed off her shapely leg as she walked. I loved her legs.I held out my hand. “You look stunning, sweetheart.”She smiled. “Wait until you see Ashley, Richard. She is so beautiful, it’s beyond words.”“Is she okay?”“Nervous,” she replied, laughing lightly. “Worried Luc won’t show.”I joined in her amusement. “He’s been champing at the bit all day. We could barely get him to eat or concentrate on the game. They’re bot
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EPILOGUEA FEW MONTHS LATERASHLEYM y phone rang, and I smiled as I picked it up. “Luc,” I answered. “Hello.”“Hey, love. Listen, I got invited to a dinner on Friday. I checked your schedule, and you have no events. Will you come with me?”“Of course,” I replied. “Where is it?”He chuckled. “Of all places, the winery.”I laughed with him. “Shoreline? Great.” I loved that place.“Actually, they had some extra spots, so I asked Heather and Reed as well. It’ll make it more fun.”“Sounds good.”“It’s semiformal, so I need a suit, and you need a pretty dress.”“Pretty sure I’ve got that covered,” I said dryly, thinking of the closet at home with all the dresses I used when I worked events.“I kinda want to treat you to a new one.” “Luc,” I scolded. “I have plenty.”“I might have already bought you one. I saw it when I was out to lunch, and it just looked like you. You’ll wear it for me, right?” He paused. “Please?”I couldn’t say no to this man. Ever. “Yes, I’ll wear it for you.”“Perfect
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Matthew shook his head. “Not my fault Mom and Dad kept having kids until they got one they liked. Me. You notice they finally stopped. Deal with it.”Everyone chuckled, but I felt the flicker of worry. “I’m not trying to—”Matthew waved his hand. “It’s inevitable. You’re new. You’re going to find all of Dad’s stupid jokes funny. All of his old ad stories fascinating. His anecdotes clever. You’re fresh meat.” He patted me on the arm. “It’ll wear off. Soon, you’ll find him as boring as we do. You’ll fall in rank too.”Richard sputtered. “I’m not boring. Your mother doesn’t find me boring, do you, Katy?”Katy looked at me with a not-so-subtle wink. “Never.”“You laugh at my jokes! You love my stories!” he protested, looking aghast.Matthew snorted. “It’s habit, Dad. Face it. Boring. I’m telling you—you’re not all that and a bag of potato chips.”I tried not to laugh at Richard’s expression. Jaxson was smirking, trying to hide his amusement. Reed was shoveling eggs into his mouth like a s
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32ASHLEYK aty and Richard left not long afterward, making me promise to call if I changed my mind. Richard wasn’t happy about leaving, and his genuineconcern touched my heart. It felt nice to be worried about by a parental figure.It felt nice not to hate him.I sat on the sofa, rereading my mother’s letter. Richard had left his envelope behind, and after a while, I slipped both letters into the manila envelope and put them back where I found them. I would replace the glass for the picture tomorrow and return it to my nightstand. The letters belonged with the pictures. They showed me growing up with my mom, and her story was connected to those pictures. I would keep them together.Luc called when he took a break, his voice concerned when I answered. “Ashley, love, you called? Is everything okay?”“I’m fine,” I assured him, then told him everything that had transpired.“Holy shit,” he muttered a few times during my explanation, otherwise remaining silent and letting me talk.When I
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3 1ASHLEYT hey arrived in record time, both looking concerned. I had read my mom’s entire letter, often crying at points, feeling her fear, her regret,and her love in the words. She said so many things to me in the letter that she had felt yet never expressed. She regretted that and begged me never to do the same thing.If you love someone, tell them. If you have things to share, say them. Don’t live with regrets. Don’t make my mistakes. I loved you so much and never told you enough. Never showed you enough. That was how I was raised, and I should have done it differently.She had done it differently. I always knew I was loved, although I had always longed for more hugs and kisses. More cuddles and bedtime stories. I never knew how deeply her feelings ran. I always wondered if she regretted having me. Her letter had laid that to rest. She raised me the only way she knew how, although I suspected she showed me more affection than her parents had shown her. She had struggled daily to
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30ASHLEYA couple of days later, I looked around at the few unpacked boxes Luc had brought over before he’d left on his business trip. His clothes nowhung in the closet, his T-shirts and underwear in the dresser Joyce had left behind and we had moved into my—our—bedroom. He hadn’t brought any furniture, laughing and shaking his head as he assured me none of it was salvageable after the years of him and his wild roommates abusing it.“We’ll pick out some new pieces together when we’re ready.”Joyce had left her few pieces of furniture behind, taking only her clothes and personal items. I had offered to buy them, but she refused, saying she was happy to know they were being used and to consider them a gift. So, the spare room was now a guest room, and I didn’t have to replace the side tables or the TV stand. The sofa and chair, I had purchased, as well as the TV, so it was an easy transition for everyone.It was hard saying goodbye to her, but she was so excited, I couldn’t be sad. Th
