9RICHARDI danced with Gracie and Heather. All the BAM wives. Katy, repeatedly. I twirled Sandy as gently as possible, and even held Kylie in my arms,making funny faces at her as we bobbed and weaved. Her little-girl giggles made everyone smile.All through the afternoon of joy, I felt the anger silently directed my way. Questioned it. And finally had enough. I stood and kissed Katy’s hand when another slow number came up, and I made my way to the table where Reed, Heather, Luc, and Ashley were talking.Ashley was listening to something Luc was saying so intently, she didn’t notice me until I was right beside her. Heather smiled, her gaze filled with love.“Hey, Daddy. My feet are too sore to dance anymore.” She indicated the floor where her shoes lay, discarded to the side.I chuckled. “No problem, my girl. I thought I would ask Ashley for a spin on the dance floor. You’ve hogged her enough, Luc.”Her shoulders tensed as everyone chuckled. I held out my hand, knowing full well she
10RICHARDE verything seemed to happen at once. Katy’s hand slid from mine, and she covered her mouth. All the men at the table stood. Halton roundedthe table, standing beside me, his hand on my shoulder.Luc burst through the patio doors, hurrying over, reaching Ashley. He looked around the table, his eyes widening as he saw the bag containing the shirt.“Love, what have you done?” he asked quietly. “You said you were going to give me a chance to do some research.”“I don’t need any research,” she spat.Halton squeezed my shoulder in warning.“I think we need to step back,” he said. “Let the air cool. Perhaps arrange a meeting in my office.”“And you are who, exactly?” Ashley demanded.“Richard’s lawyer,” he stated smoothly. “I specialize in family law.”“Of course you’d have a lawyer in your pocket,” she sneered. “You have everything, don’t you, Mr. VanRyan? The family, the friends, the wealth. Pretending your life is perfect. That you’re perfect, when we both know you’re anything
1 1RICHARDI barely slept. Neither did Katy. I could feel her awake beside me, the small space between us feeling like miles not inches. I wanted to roll over, drawher close, bask in her scent and warmth, seek comfort from her, but I was afraid of her rejection. She was holding herself back, and although I understood why, I hated it.I hated everything about this.I got up at five and went for a jog. Instead of the beach, I hit the road outside the compound and ran until I was exhausted. I pushed myself until I couldn’t run anymore, then realized I had gone too far. Shaking my head, I turned and began the long journey back when a car pulled alongside me.“Lost?” Jaxson’s voice was amused as he peered across the seat. “Just out for a run. Went a little far.”“Hop in, and I’ll drive you back.”I climbed in, realizing I hadn’t even brought water. “I’m heading to the Hub,” I muttered.“Sure.”I looked out the window as the scenery went by, not really noticing any of it. I felt Jaxson’s
I left the Hub, my steps heavy, my body suddenly feeling older than its years. Katy wasn’t in the house, and I walked to the beach, spying hersitting on the rocks. She loved the water and found the waves and movement soothing. She often sat close to it to think or reflect. The fact that she was reflecting on my past and our future didn’t sit well with me. I walked closer, pausing a few feet away. She tilted her head, shading her eyes and studying me.“This feels like déjà vu,” she said quietly. “The day you found me on the beach at the cottage.”“You’d run from me,” I replied. “Are you running now, Katy?” “No, I’m thinking.”“I suppose I don’t have to ask about what.”“Last night, yes. But other things as well. Heather looked so happy yesterday. It was a lovely day.”I walked over and sat across from her. “Yeah, it was. She and Reed are good together. He’ll look after her.”“Gavin looks well. Happy.”I sighed. “All our kids are. Even your baby, Matthew, looks just fine, despite his l
RICHARDI walked the beach for over an hour, constantly pacing, trying to sort out my thoughts. Trying to remember more. I had blocked so much of my lifefrom that time out of my head. I didn’t like the person I was then. I had been an empty shell of a man. That all changed when I fell in love with Katy.Finally, exhausted, I sat on the rocks, staring at the water, hoping to find the peace in the waves that seemed to help my wife.Maddox found me a short while later and sat across from me. “What are you doing, Richard?”“Hiding,” I stated honestly. “From?”“My life. My thoughts. Katy.” “How’s that working for you?”I met his calm, concerned gaze. “Not so well.”“You know, you once gave me some good advice. You told me to trust the people I love and be honest. You said Aiden and Bentley would stand beside me and not desert me the way I feared they would. You were right. I was honest, and they were right there, supporting me. Loving me despite my fuckups.”“It’s not the same.”“Isn’t it
A iden and Bentley joined us for some basketball. We spent a couple of hours shooting hoops, trash-talking, and pushing one another on thecourt. It was what I needed. The physical release, my attention focused on something other than the events of yesterday. My friends knew what I needed as well, driving me hard, not giving an inch. After, we had races in the pool, and I felt calmer than I had been in the past twenty-four hours. I had a change of clothes in my locker. We all kept one there, and I felt better after a shower. I dried off my hair and headed upstairs. There were platters of food left from the day before, and Maddox filled a plate and pushed it toward me.“Eat. I think you burned off about ten thousand calories today. I don’t want you passing out on us.”I glanced around the empty space. “No one else around today?”Aiden smirked as he took a huge bite of some flatbread. He chewed and swallowed. “Nah, I told everyone the place was off-limits today. I said you were sulking
1 3ASHLEYI stared at my reflection, running a hand over my hair to smooth the ends. I wanted to look nice for Luc tonight. He was taking me to a party tocelebrate someone’s retirement. His best friend Reed was marrying Heather on Saturday, and this was an added thing they were doing as a family. Having met Reed and Heather, I was pleased to be invited. I really liked Heather—we got along well, and I had enjoyed spending time with her. She felt familiar somehow, and we had connected fast. We had a lot in common, and she was easy to talk with. I looked forward to getting to know her better—I had a feeling we were going to be great friends.I had noticed the uniqueness of her hazel eyes. Unlike some that were a mix of greens and browns, hers were more blue and green—just like mine. In fact, most people who met me thought my eyes were one color or the other. It depended on my mood and the lighting. Heather’s were similar, and I thought that was cool. She was obviously crazy about her
14ASHLEYA nother thought hit me as I headed to the door. If he was my father, then I had half-siblings in the room—Heather, with eyes like my own, one ofthem. The thought made me stumble, and I hastened my steps, needing to get out of there.I slipped outside to the deck, inhaling the cool night air, telling myself not to jump to conclusions. There were probably hundreds of businessmen who wore shirts with monograms on them. Who had hazel eyes. I needed to calm down and be rational. I mean, what were the chances that, out of the blue, I would find my father?Luc appeared beside me.“Hey,” he murmured. “What happened in there?”“Sorry. I got dizzy. I, ah, I didn’t eat lunch, and suddenly I was a little light- headed.”Instantly, he was concerned. “I’ll get you a plate. You stay here and sit.”He hurried away, and I walked to the window, my gaze finding Richard immediately. He was laughing and talking, seemingly not bothered by our meeting. It certainly hadn’t affected him the way it
A my pulled off a miracle and, in ten minutes, had chocolate milk and a donut for Gracie. She sat with her, stitching her skirt as I changed into another suit, grateful my shirt had been spared the splatter. I sat down, sipping my coffee in appreciation. It was rare Amy brought me a cup, so when she did, I enjoyed it. I looked at the schedule. “Can we switch any of this?”“I already changed what I could. I have explained to the clients, and they are fine for a more casual meeting in your office.”I scrubbed my chin, realizing I hadn’t shaved today. “Okay. I’ll do my best. Can Gracie sit with you for a bit?”She shook her head. “Today is the training on the new software, Richard. If I miss it again, I won’t get another chance. I’ll only be gone two hours. I’m sure everything will be fine.”“Anyone else kid-friendly?”Again, she shook her head. “We’re all scheduled. And we’re already short. We’re swamped.”“I’ll be good, Daddy,” Gracie said, slipping off the sofa and twirling. Her skirt
TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAYRICHARDI sat down next to Katy, chuckling as she moved her coffee cup out of my reach. Or at least thought she did. I leaned over and nuzzled her neck.“You smell so good, my Katy,” I murmured, darting my tongue out to taste her.She shivered, and I reached across her, grabbing her cup and sitting back in my chair, triumphant. I took a long, appreciative sip. “Ah, delicious.”She huffed out an annoyed breath. “There is a full pot, Richard. Why do you always have to steal mine?”“It tastes better. I keep telling you that.” “It’s the same coffee!”I shook my head. “Your lips touched the mug, my wife. It’s far sweeter.” Her annoyance turned into amusement.“You think you can sweet-talk me?”I tilted my head, studying her. “Isn’t it working?”She began to laugh. “Such a cheeseball.” She chuffed Heather under the chin, smiling as our baby kicked her feet against the high chair. “Your daddy is such a cheeseball.”“An incredibly good-looking, sexy cheeseball,
ASHLEYRichard—Dad—peeked out into the room where Luc and I would exchange our vows. The space was decorated with flowers and pine, the scent filling the air. I hadn’t wanted an over-the-top Christmas theme, but I went with gold, ivory, and burgundy and some fir and evergreen to add to the mix.He returned to my side and tucked my arm through the crook of his. He patted my hand in comfort. “Luc is there. Pacing like a lion.”I chuckled. “He does that when he’s anxious and there isn’t a keyboard around to work on.”He nodded in understanding. “He’s waiting for you.” “I hope he’s not disappointed,” I admitted.He gaped at me. “How can you say that, Ashley? You’re absolutely gorgeous. You took my breath away.”I smiled, feeling self-conscious. “I like simple things,” I admitted. “Clean lines, not a lot of fuss. My dress is pretty plain in comparison to some.”“I like your style. It’s classic and beautiful. It suits you, and you look exquisite. He is going to be blown away.”I felt my che
RICHARDI straightened my tie, glancing in the mirror. My cowlick was acting up today, and I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly, trying to tamp itdown. I had no idea why I was feeling so nervous—I had done this before and knew my part. Walk her down the aisle, say a few words, then sit beside Katy.But today felt different. As if I had finally finished a long walk and could rest.The door opened, and Katy slipped out, smiling. She walked toward me, lovely in a green dress, her hair swept up. Her dress was longer than usual, but there was a slit on one side that showed off her shapely leg as she walked. I loved her legs.I held out my hand. “You look stunning, sweetheart.”She smiled. “Wait until you see Ashley, Richard. She is so beautiful, it’s beyond words.”“Is she okay?”“Nervous,” she replied, laughing lightly. “Worried Luc won’t show.”I joined in her amusement. “He’s been champing at the bit all day. We could barely get him to eat or concentrate on the game. They’re bot
EPILOGUEA FEW MONTHS LATERASHLEYM y phone rang, and I smiled as I picked it up. “Luc,” I answered. “Hello.”“Hey, love. Listen, I got invited to a dinner on Friday. I checked your schedule, and you have no events. Will you come with me?”“Of course,” I replied. “Where is it?”He chuckled. “Of all places, the winery.”I laughed with him. “Shoreline? Great.” I loved that place.“Actually, they had some extra spots, so I asked Heather and Reed as well. It’ll make it more fun.”“Sounds good.”“It’s semiformal, so I need a suit, and you need a pretty dress.”“Pretty sure I’ve got that covered,” I said dryly, thinking of the closet at home with all the dresses I used when I worked events.“I kinda want to treat you to a new one.” “Luc,” I scolded. “I have plenty.”“I might have already bought you one. I saw it when I was out to lunch, and it just looked like you. You’ll wear it for me, right?” He paused. “Please?”I couldn’t say no to this man. Ever. “Yes, I’ll wear it for you.”“Perfect
Matthew shook his head. “Not my fault Mom and Dad kept having kids until they got one they liked. Me. You notice they finally stopped. Deal with it.”Everyone chuckled, but I felt the flicker of worry. “I’m not trying to—”Matthew waved his hand. “It’s inevitable. You’re new. You’re going to find all of Dad’s stupid jokes funny. All of his old ad stories fascinating. His anecdotes clever. You’re fresh meat.” He patted me on the arm. “It’ll wear off. Soon, you’ll find him as boring as we do. You’ll fall in rank too.”Richard sputtered. “I’m not boring. Your mother doesn’t find me boring, do you, Katy?”Katy looked at me with a not-so-subtle wink. “Never.”“You laugh at my jokes! You love my stories!” he protested, looking aghast.Matthew snorted. “It’s habit, Dad. Face it. Boring. I’m telling you—you’re not all that and a bag of potato chips.”I tried not to laugh at Richard’s expression. Jaxson was smirking, trying to hide his amusement. Reed was shoveling eggs into his mouth like a s
32ASHLEYK aty and Richard left not long afterward, making me promise to call if I changed my mind. Richard wasn’t happy about leaving, and his genuineconcern touched my heart. It felt nice to be worried about by a parental figure.It felt nice not to hate him.I sat on the sofa, rereading my mother’s letter. Richard had left his envelope behind, and after a while, I slipped both letters into the manila envelope and put them back where I found them. I would replace the glass for the picture tomorrow and return it to my nightstand. The letters belonged with the pictures. They showed me growing up with my mom, and her story was connected to those pictures. I would keep them together.Luc called when he took a break, his voice concerned when I answered. “Ashley, love, you called? Is everything okay?”“I’m fine,” I assured him, then told him everything that had transpired.“Holy shit,” he muttered a few times during my explanation, otherwise remaining silent and letting me talk.When I
3 1ASHLEYT hey arrived in record time, both looking concerned. I had read my mom’s entire letter, often crying at points, feeling her fear, her regret,and her love in the words. She said so many things to me in the letter that she had felt yet never expressed. She regretted that and begged me never to do the same thing.If you love someone, tell them. If you have things to share, say them. Don’t live with regrets. Don’t make my mistakes. I loved you so much and never told you enough. Never showed you enough. That was how I was raised, and I should have done it differently.She had done it differently. I always knew I was loved, although I had always longed for more hugs and kisses. More cuddles and bedtime stories. I never knew how deeply her feelings ran. I always wondered if she regretted having me. Her letter had laid that to rest. She raised me the only way she knew how, although I suspected she showed me more affection than her parents had shown her. She had struggled daily to
30ASHLEYA couple of days later, I looked around at the few unpacked boxes Luc had brought over before he’d left on his business trip. His clothes nowhung in the closet, his T-shirts and underwear in the dresser Joyce had left behind and we had moved into my—our—bedroom. He hadn’t brought any furniture, laughing and shaking his head as he assured me none of it was salvageable after the years of him and his wild roommates abusing it.“We’ll pick out some new pieces together when we’re ready.”Joyce had left her few pieces of furniture behind, taking only her clothes and personal items. I had offered to buy them, but she refused, saying she was happy to know they were being used and to consider them a gift. So, the spare room was now a guest room, and I didn’t have to replace the side tables or the TV stand. The sofa and chair, I had purchased, as well as the TV, so it was an easy transition for everyone.It was hard saying goodbye to her, but she was so excited, I couldn’t be sad. Th