Chapter 7: Not a Goodbye

Odette's POV

 

"Oh, so you want to talk now? Can't get enough of me, huh?" I crossed my arms and laughed. Hindi siya umimik at deretso lang ang tingin sa akin. "Come on in. Ipagluluto kita ng dinner," I said with a smile. 

 

Hinayaan ko lang na nakabukas ang pinto para makapasok siya. Nauna na akong tumalikod at naglakad patungo sa kusina. Mabuti na lang ay may stock pa ako ng pagkain sa refrigerator. Opportunity na rin ito para mapakita ko sa kaniya ang cooking skills ko.

 

Narinig ko ang pagsarado ng pinto at ang mga lakad niya pasunod sa akin. I am aware that he doesn't want to waste any time talking to me, kaya hindi na ako nagulat nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko at humakbang siya sa harapan ko.

 

"Are you pregnant?" seryoso niyang tanong habang nakakunot ang noo.

 

"Bakit, pananagutan mo ba ako?" I raised my brow. "Then maybe we can have a little family together, professor. Wouldn't that be nice?"

 

His expression softened and he looked at me as if he's demanding a more clear answer. I laughed. His worried expression is quite hilarious to me. Gano'n ba siya katakot na magkaanak sa akin? 

 

"I'm on birth control. Hindi mo na kailangan mag-alala dahil nasiguro ko na hindi ako buntis."

 

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Why did you send me that message if you were sure that you weren't pregnant, then? I almost messed up my job because I was panicking over your message!"

 

"Relax! It was just a silly little prank. You shouldn't take it seriously. I was just bored and wanted your attention. And look, it worked."

 

He massaged the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself. "This isn't a joke, Odette. You can't just throw around pregnancy scares like it's nothing. Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought I had ruined your life,"

 

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. Marahas kong binawi sa kanya ang kamay ko at nagtungo sa kusina. Hmm... what should I cook for tonight? Mas maganda ba kung mag-order na lang ako online? So I can spend my time with him rather than being busy cooking?

 

"And what you did earlier was unacceptable. It's not appropriate." sinundan niya ulit ako at nararamdaman ko ang talim ng tingin niya sa likod ko.

 

"Yeah, but you liked it." walang ganang sabi ko habang nag-f-focus sa paghahanap ng mga ingredients sa refrigerator.

 

Nagulat ako nang hinila niya ako paharap sa kanya. He closed the refrigerator and he pinned me against its door. Tiningnan niya ako ng deretso sa mga mata pero hindi ako umiwas ng tingin. I admit that he has a strong aura and I could clearly feel it, pero hindi ko hahayaan na magpaindak sa kaniya. Taas noo kong hinarap ang malalim niyang titig habang nakataas ang isang kilay.

 

"Nagustuhan ko man o hindi, it was still wrong. Paano kung nahuli tayo ng katrabaho ko? You need to understand that our relationship was wrong and it can never happen again."

 

"Wrong?" I scoffed in disbelief. "We obviously both want each other, so how could it be wrong? Paano mo pa 'yan nasasabi, eh may nangyari na sa atin?"

 

Muli akong tumawa para asarin siya at tinulak siya palayo sa akin. Mahina lang ang puwersa na ginamit ko kaya napaatras lang siya. I hate it when someone corners me. 

 

Inayos ko ang tayo ko at humalukipkip. "I don't like one-night stands, but I still gave myself to you because I was determined to make you mine. And now you want to abandon what we had just because of those stupid rules? Bakit, mga bata ba tayo, Develrick? It's not like I'm not going to graduate. I will not stay your student forever! Mas nauna kitang nakilala bago kita naging propesor, kaya wala kang karapatan na sabihin na mali ang mayro'n tayo."

 

He shook his head, determined to disagree. 'This isn't a game, Odette. I can't keep risking my job for you."

 

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Alam mo, it's not like you care about the rules. You only care about what people will think about you when they find out. Well, let me tell you this. Wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng ibang tao dahil palagi kong gagawin kung ano ang gusto ko!"

 

"Odette, you don't understand—

 

I grabbed his necktie and pulled him for a kiss to cut his words short. Para siyang yelong nanigas. Napangiti ako nang hindi siya nagpumiglas. He hesitated but he slowly kissed me back. Is this the man who really wants to end relationship with me?

 

"See, you never push me away whenever I touch you." Muli ko siyang tinulak at ngumisi. "Palagi kang bumibigay sa akin. Just admit it, your desire for me is much greater than your care about your job."

 

Huminga siya nang malalim. "Hindi mo naiintindihan. I admit that what we had was amazing and special to me. It was also my first time, and you will remain unforgettable in my mind for the rest of my life." He explained with a soft tone. "But I can't lose my job. Not now, Odette. I can never afford to lose it."

 

Hindi ko mapigilang mapangiwi kaya umiwas ako ng tingin. I know that he will leave no matter how much I tell him to change his mind so I kept my mouth shut. Sayang naman kung aalis siya dito. If he leaves like this, then it means that I really lose to him. Siguradong matatapos na agad ang kung anong mayro'n kami ngayon.

 

Huminga ako nang malalim at muling tumingin sa kanya. "Tama ka. What I did was wrong. Pero mali pa rin ang ginawa mo sa akin. You broke up with me when we never even had the chance to start dating! Do you know how heartbreaking that was?"

 

Nagpanggap ako na naiiyak-iyak. It's not that my heart is broken, but my pride is! Hindi ako papayag na talikuran ako ng kahit na sinong lalaki. I will never lose in this game!

 

"Odette..."

 

"But since you really want to push me away, then I guess I can do nothing about it now. Basta... kahit ngayong gabi lang, hayaan mo na makasama kita kumain." liniitan ko ang boses ko para mas nakakaawa pakinggan.

 

Gusto kong tawanan ang sarili ko dahil sa ginagawa ko but the show must go on! Hindi lang sa pagkuha ng lalaki ang alam ko, may talento rin ako sa pag-arte. Mas napatunayan ko pa 'yon nang makita ang konsensya na nabuo sa mukha ni Develrick.

 

"Okay... Just a dinner, then."

 

Ngumiti agad ako dahil sa sagot niya. "Magluluto na ako. Do you eat pasta for dinner?"

 

"I can eat anything."

 

Binilisan ko ang kilos ko at nilabas ang mga ingredients mula sa refrigerator. I am planning to cook Shrimp Alfredo pasta because that's my specialty. I will also prepare some toasted bread and milkshake.

 

Nagsimula ko nang hugasan ang mga ingredients na galing sa refrigerator at nagulat ako nang kinuha ni Develrick ang cutting board at kutsilyo para hiwain ang mga sibuyas.

 

"I can help you with this." He smiled, and I felt that our atmosphere lightened. Para na kaming normal na taong nag-uusap. Walang alitan, sumbatan, o sigawan. 

 

But of course, I must remind myself that this is only for the show.

 

"Do you know how to cook?" I asked.

 

"My grandmother taught me, so I'm quite good at it." Sinimulan niya na ang paghihiwa.

 

"Mas lalo ko pa palang kailangan galingan dahil marunong magluto ang gusto kong paglutuan. If you're quite good at it, then I'm very good at it." I said with confidence. Malaki ang tiwala ko sa cooking skills ko. I took lessons when I was in Italy three years ago. 

 

Nahuli ko ang ngiti sa labi niya pero hindi ko na siya tinukso tungkol doon. I need to focus on my cooking so I can give my best performance. Baka ayain niya na agad ako sa altar kapag naktikman ang luto ko?

 

We worked together to cook the pasta. Napapansin ko rin ang atensyon na binibigay niya sa ginagawa ko, mukhang interesado siya sa recipe ko. It's a secret recipe but I'm willing to share it to him. Basta siya. 

 

Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na landiin siya at pilit na umarteng normal na kaibigan. We laughed, talked about foods, and shared some cooking experiences. I swear to God, it's hard not to be flirty when you're with someone you like. However, Develrick seems to like it and he was really comfortable. Akala niya talaga siguro ay willing na ako na i-give up siya kaya komportable na siya ngayon.

 

I admit that what we do is also fun. Mahilig ako magluto pero hindi ko 'yon masyadong nagagawa dahil sa busy schedule ko. I often eat outside or order some food while I stay in my condo. It feels nice to cook again with someone who also enjoys the same hobby. 

 

Matagal-tagal bago matapos ang niluluto namin, but the food was cooked exactly like I expected it to be. Masarap at sakto ang lasa. It's very healthy, too. Nakita ko rin na na-enjoy 'yon ni Develrick dahil naka ilang plato siya nito.

 

"You seem to enjoy the food..." I rested my chin in my hand while staring at him.

 

He nodded. "Masarap ang luto mo."

 

"Pero mas masarap ang nagluto..." bulong ko, pero sapat ang lakas no'n para marinig niya.

 

Nabigla yata siya sa sinabi ko kaya nabilaukan siya. He coughed while avoiding my eyes so I laughed.

 

"Water?" Inabutan ko siya ng baso ng tubig habang nagpipigil ng tawa.

 

"T-Thank you," Kinuha niya ang tubig at mabilis na uminom. He finished the whole glass and he stared at me.

 

I raised my brow. "Oh, why are you staring at me? Na-realize mo kung gaano kaganda ang sinayang mo?"

 

I thought that he would not react to what I said, but I was surprised when he chuckled. "Yeah, you're very beautiful."

 

Natigilan ako at naramdaman ang pag-init ng pisnge ko. His words caught me off guard. I grinned and rolled my eyes playfully. I didn't expect him to say that. Parang kanina lang ay nagtataasan kami ng boses.

 

Ilang saglit lang ay binalot nanaman kami ng katahimikan. The food is finished and he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Tumayo na siya at hinarap ako. “It’s getting late. I need to leave.”

 

“Don’t you wanna stay with me tonight?” I asked with a naughty tone. “Are you sure?”

 

Napalunok siya at umiwas ng tingin. “I really have to leave,” sagot niya kaya nagkibit balikat na lang ako.

 

Nasiguro ko na nabusog siya kaya hinayaan ko na siya nang sabihin niyang kailangan niya nang umuwi. He helped me wash the dishes before he walked out of my condo.

 

Hinatid ko siya sa pintuan. Tahimik, nakayuko, at nagpapanggap na malungkot para makonsensya siya.

 

"I am so sorry for doing this to you. You're a wonderful woman and you have a special place in my heart. Masakit din para sa akin ang sitwasyon natin but things won't work on us. I really wanted you to be my girlfriend, but we need to accept it for the best."

 

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. I really wanted to roll my eyes at his words but I just smiled innocently. "I understand." 

 

I forced myself to cry. Sinuguro ko na sobrang nakakaawa ang hitsura ko ngayon. He breathed deeply; his eyes were looking at me with so much worry and concern.

 

"I swear to God, I didn't mean to break your heart. You have no idea how painful it is for me to do this. I hate seeing you cry." His voice broke. He wiped my tears with his fingers. I could really feel his guilt, and knowing that he's guilty satisfies me.

 

"I am sure that you will find someone better than me—someone who can be with you proudly." Ngumiti siya at mabilis akong hinalikan sa labi. "This is the last time. We have to be a normal teacher and student after this night. Goodbye." 

 

Hindi ko inaasahan ang halik niya pero hindi na lang ako nagsalita tungkol do'n. I lowered my head and nodded, still crying silently.

 

I won't say goodbye. I don't have to say goodbye.

 

Because soon enough, I will see him again, begging to have me back.

 

Ngumiti ako at tumango bago isinara ang pinto. I rolled my eyes and wiped away my fake tears when he could no longer see me. I can't believe that I will have to fake a cry in front of a guy! But I'm not going to make it a big deal because I know that it's going to be worth it.

 

He thinks that I'm going to let him go just like that? Sisiguraduhin ko na siya mismo ang gagapang pabalik sa akin ngayon.

 

I breathed out and went straight to my bedroom. Napagod ako sa pagpapanggap.

 

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at humiga sa kama. I opened my social media account to check the message requests I had never opened. There are thousands of messages. Some of them are from modeling agencies that want to hire me, or brands that want to take me as an ambassador, but most of them are men who are trying hard to impress me. Hindi ko in-o-open ang mga messages dahil wala naman akong interes sa mga ganito.

 

I was scrolling through the messages, looking at the boys' profile, when I saw an attractive man in a picture. I clicked it and realized that he was familiar. Wait... this is the engineering student whom I met in the coffee shop! What's his name again?

Binasa ko ang message niya.

 

'Hi, this is Ren! The poging 4th year engineering na nakausap mo sa coffee shop? I'm just interested in you, and I'm wondering if we could be friends? ' Napangiti ako nang makita ang sinend niya.

 

I remember his name now. Achilles Ren Salvador. Si Ren! The moreno and good-looking engineering student.

 

He was the guy who gave me the idea of seducing Develrick. Based on my first impression of him, I think that he is the kind of boy who can help me with what I want to do.

 

I stalked his profile and saw his bio. He is a 6-footer and a model. 26k ang followers niya at marami rin siyang photos na naka post. Mostly ay topless photos and nasa beach. Mahilig din siya mag-surf, dahilan yata kung bakit gano'n kaganda ang pagkamoreno ng balat niya.

 

He is handsome, talented, and capable of being by my side. He is the perfect guy I am looking for right now. Hindi ko na pinatagal pa at in-accept ang message request niya. I followed him back and we became mutual. Tinawagan ko ang account niya at ilang saglit lang ay sumagot na ito.

“Hello? Are you really calling me? Si Odette Maria?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”

 

'How surprising. I thought that you would never bother to notice my message, but here you are, calling me out of the blue. You even followed me back!" halata ang gulat sa boses nito dahil sa biglaan at random ko na pagtawag.

 

"You said you want us to be friends, I accept that. So as friends, you will help me get what I want, right?"

 

Natahimik ang kabilang linya. Masyado ba akong naging direct kaya nagulat siya? Well, I don't want to waste time. Kung ayaw niya, maghahanap na lang ako ng iba.

 

"Interesting... May kailangan ka pala, kaya mo ako tinawagan. It's an honor to be someone who can be purposeful for the great Odette Maria," he chuckled. "So, what do you want me to do, my new dear friend?"

 

I smiled. I knew he'd be the one!

 

"I just want to invite you for something a little fun." I said with a grin on my face.