Chapter 4: our spot

At the other end of town, Bella had arrived at sunset to find Madam. Eve is waiting for her on the doorstep. 

Shall I have to sit here every day, leaving all the important business, and just monitor you,  Missy, I'll tell the old man everything, I took pity on you earlier, but you, you went too far, miss. 

This is not suitable for a respectable girl to see that your clothes have also shortened, and is it a perfume that I smell?  God damn you, where have you been all day anyway?

 It seemed to Bella that she did not listen to half of what Madam. Eve said. She wanted to get in and go to her room. Many important things are preoccupying her mind now. 

You know how it is, His wrath All right.

That's enough Stop lying, Madam. The old man is not here, God only knows what you've done to him. Stop your empty threats. if God wants to be angry at me for disobeying you, so he'd better check on you first on his way here.

Madam. Eve got angry, oh you who*e, you won't go out anywhere tomorrow, look what you've done, the neighbours all stopped working to see what you did.

Madam Eve fell to the ground while hitting her head at one time and the ground at another, my years of raising you were for nothing you ungrateful girl.

 Bella interrupted her, you should be ashamed of yourself, we all know that this scene no longer affects anyone, and you spent your life to please the old man and he has gone as you did your precious Stella, don't you see everyone leaving you but me.

Bella scolded the neighbours who were still watching the scene with interest. strange courage ran through her veins, she did not know its source except that she was grateful, someone had to say something, someone had to rise and revolt for her, but now .. she knows that no one can do that better than her, she wanted to Immortalise that moment and she starts writing, "a human, is given, one, yes, only one opportunity to revolt, to refuse injustice, to reject what society tries to impose on him, that manifests itself in the first time he realises that no one has power over him but himself, yes himself, that his life belongs to him alone, yes and why not?? 

Why does Madam? Does Eve care what I do? It's my life. She walks back and forth across the room as if she's talking to someone. A man is free. A man is free in his conscience. Free in his imagination. Freed by his pain. If you don't believe me, look at Paolo. Look how miserable he is. How much pain he has endured, but. No one has power over him, how free is he?? That miserable bastard, he paid his pain for his freedom. don't you see?

 Her thoughts took over her, a price, yeah that makes sense now, no I won't pay anything for my freedom, it's mine, why should I have to pay for it? no, if I have to pay I will, if that's the only way Paolo can help me, I have to go and see him tomorrow.

Bella woke up the next morning late, it seems that she forgot yesterday's speech, the one she gave herself, but she still remembers that she must at all costs go to meet Paolo, that many outstanding matters were not completed yesterday, well they had the whole day.

 Bella went without eating her breakfast and looked for Paolo at his usual spot but she did not find him there. She stood there for a while, perhaps he was also late sleeping, except the owner of the shop who came out to tell her if she was waiting for Paolo, he had come in the morning. And he took his books and left not knowing where.

 Well sir, thank you I have to check his house now, he must be there, Bella went to the cottage and when she arrived, she was surprised, the house is now clean without rats and spiders, she said in a voice full of happiness " someone changed his mind",  he replied, you should see, I made us breakfast too, I've been waiting for you since morning. 

Paolo took her hands and started spinning and dancing across the room. Look, isn't great, I've changed my mind. I'm not leaving here, I'm not going to give them what they want. 

What bothers them the most is that I don't do what they want, but this town has enough sheep. It's good to meet you, Bella.

Yes, I am lucky too, Paolo, I would have followed the herd if I hadn't met you. It was the perfect time for us to meet. I feel like the universe has been arranging this meeting ever since.

  They sat around the breakfast table. A long silence prevailed and a cold strangeness overshadowed the place. Paolo broke those deadly minutes of silence, saying that the lady I told you about is good at preparing food. 

She taught me how to prepare it as she taught me everything I know, yes everything I know. 

 She seems like a good lady, so why do they talk about her like that, when they call her a witch?? Why, Paolo? Tell me how you know her? What is her story?

The people of this town hate and alienate all that they are ignorant of, and I confess that Father Giovanni has the greatest merit in that, he does not stop warning people from her from time to time. 

But although he is a scoundrel with a cold heart, you feel an unjustified pain in his voice when he talks about her, whatever may he burn in hell, The lady has suffered enough from him and all his sheep. As for how I met her, I do not know more than what my grandmother tells me. She said that I refused to drink milk when I was an infant, and my grandmother was kind to her, she was afraid that I would die, so she asked her to breastfeed me and she did.  no one knows that, I kept going to her to this day, no one taught me what she taught me, and I can not return her favours no matter what I did. Bella replied we don't have to believe everything we hear, that rumour may ruin someone's life forever. 

Well, anyway what is this lady doing now?

 She is a professor at one of the city's colleges. The nearest college is tens of kilometres away from here, so what keeps her here?

Something connects her to this miserable town, but she is, the truth be told, a mysterious woman. That is what encourages those scoundrels to talk about her. She values her privacy so much, I was pretty insistent before and kept asking her but she used to tell me" Everyone who meets you, Paolo, will surely admire and love you, but your curiosity is not in its place. The lives of others do not add value to yours, a life you spent getting involved in another's life isn't a life worth living". 

 Although this can only be said by a wise woman, it does not mean that she does not have something to hide!! Right? Paolo?

 I learned from her, Bella, that I don't care, hide what you want, and such curiosity is misplaced.

 I'm only saying that for her own sake, she can remove all doubts if she unravels the mystery surrounding her life.

You're wrong Bella, what do you think if a lady like her joined That gossip den every Sunday, she would turn into a useless chatty lady. Retiring from a toxic atmosphere like this is the best thing a person can do for himself.

Well, if you have grown up, Paolo, and you are now an independent person, I doubt there is anything she adds to you so far, so why are you still going to visit her then?

  You are mistaken, Bella, she has much to add, and if she does not tell me about her life, I tell her about everything, but I don't wanna lie, what makes me want to visit her more is the wrath of that Father Giovanni, who dares and tries to prevent me from visiting her, what gives him the right? All he did for me was to give me his damn name, that stigma that I intend to get rid of as soon as possible, he never spent a single dime on me, huh money, I don't care about that, it's enough that he doesn't interfere in my life, am I asking too much? he doesn't talk to me unless he wants to undermine my spirits, all the inhabitants of this neighbourhood call me an ill-fated bastard, they would rather not acquire books than buy them from me, it is all because of him so if she kicks me out a thousand times, I will not stop visiting her. Have I satisfied your curiosity now, Bella? 

 umm, what is that lady's name? 

I never knew her first name, but I call her like everyone else, Miss Donatti. She doesn't care about names. I asked her to call Maria, and she was so kind as to agree.

 Hmmm I look forward to seeing her but that won't be today, I have to go now. Bella got up quickly as if she was dodging something.

Stop, Bella, please. It was still early, and Paulo noticed her nervousness. Please, you don't have to hide anything from me. Are you okay?  You have avoided looking into my eyes since I started talking half an hour ago. Did I say something that offended you? 

No, Paolo, it's not what you think. When I'm with you I can be me, I can take off all the masks I'm forced to put on, It's pure happiness. But that's all it takes Moments and all those loads that weigh on my shoulders come back. I grew up in a house That denied me all joy. Fear and intimidation were their strongest weapons, I fought myself all my life so I could keep up with them, and yet any stranger can tell you I don't belong. Have you ever felt you don't belong? 

Huh, Bella, I don't belong anywhere, but do you know what that means? 

You are free, you don't have to do what they do, if you want to get out of their bubble of delusions, you have to get out of yours first, it's suffering, I don't promise you it will be easy, no it won't be easy at all to be your true self, don't wear a mask every day that fits their party Or, you know, I also don't have to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. The only person who can do it is you, listen to yourself, that's all it takes.

She calmed down a bit, Paulo doesn't just talk, he means what he says, he's the first person She met who did not try to control her life, to dictate what to do or not. 

All those hopes and aspirations that she had once buried began to bloom in her heart again. She was overwhelmed by different feelings. It was the first time she was afraid of losing someone. The curse of the house that She lived in was chasing her, here is the fear seeping into her heart in her happiest moments.

Paulo calmed her down again as if he was reading her thoughts. Take it easy Bella, I am not going anywhere, I promise you, you can stay here as long as you want. I have a lot of Rooms here if staying out of that house makes you feel better.

I would like to, but Madam. Eve, though she looks evil, she is fragile, they all have left her, and she is the one who used to serve them all, if I don't go back she will think that I have left her too, I pity her, it is not her fault that she is who she is, that is who she was brought up and used to.

 It's hard to get rid of your habits, but I promise you that we will have a meeting tomorrow. 

On her way back, at the crossroads between the rural road leading to Paolo's house and the main street, Father Giovanni stopped her and asked her about Paolo. She replied without thinking that he is well as long as he is away from him. 

 Huh, I see that you have acquired his character, do yourself a favour and stop meeting him, that ill-fated bastard brings nothing but misfortune, Bella had let him gossip to himself a long time ago and went on her way, and when he noticed her departure he muttered in an incomprehensible voice, that this girl will be his end.