"It's already done." My body doesn't want to force the oxygen from my lungs, but I say the words breathlessly. "I can't do this."Grant takes a step toward me as I step back. Our own choreographed dance of death. "Don't leave me. Not like this."No longer covered by the awning, rain collects on his ever perfect hair as it beats against his head. His black suit jacket darkens with the wet stain. The words circle around in the air between us and Grant's face pales.Anger and sadness swirl around in my stomach. At war with what I have to do and what I want to do. "This is who I am Grant. If I don't protect them, who will? Why didn't you see that?"How could he not have anticipated this outcome? The actions he makes in a board room have consequences for me and others in the city after he heads home for the day."I'll fix this. Let me fix it." With both hands held out he takes two more steps toward me.My red, tear-filled eyes meet his — also wet with more than simply rain. I st
"Clare, you have a visitor," Drew yells from downstairs.I sigh and snuggle back under the covers. Over the last two days I've found myself in bed any moment I wasn't at the center trying to calm the fears of everyone there. My idea of hiding under the covers seemed the reasonable choice for dealing with my own insecurities and sadness. Saturday morning is my time to lie in bed and wallow. Everyone should get a good wallow period after a breakup, right? I haven't had a chance to really wallow.Footsteps pound on the stairs, the walls shaking. I hold my breath and wait to find out if it's one RDA girl who showed up or if they came with the whole crew. I didn't make the breakup public knowledge, but I'm sure it's made the rounds by now. They have alarm devices implanted on them that light up whenever anyone's in trouble. Although, if I'm honest, having girlfriends right now isn't so bad. There's a chance they brought ice cream. Please let them have ice cream.And liquor.Drew's h
"Jesse, come right in. Did you have trouble finding the place?" Drew is first to recover from his shock.Jesse uses an index finger to push his glasses further up his nose. "You weren't lying when you said the big blue Victorian would be hard to miss." The words sound snotty.This house is a piece of architectural greatness. He better hope he didn't snub it. Drew pats me on the shoulder, aware I'm seconds away from kicking our potential new roommate out. This place is my baby, and it costs as much as one to live here, too."Well, let us give you a tour of the place." With both hands on my shoulders Drew turns me around. "As you see the large living room," he says as we walk toward the kitchen his arm gesturing to the left."Do you often keep the curtains open like that?"Drew's steps stall, and he whips his head to the left looking at the curtains. "Uh... I don't know." We share a look between us, and I lift a shoulder in response. He's on his own for this one.Jesse makes
I check over the contents of my chest one last time and then close the lid. One plus to lying in bed all day, it's allowed me plenty of time to stockpile crops in Dragons Reborn. You can't play the full game in the mobile version, but I've been able to harvest crops and make enough cloth to keep me stocked for a while. I tried to con Drew into bringing me his laptop so I could play in bed, but he told me to get my ass downstairs. That option wasn't appealing, so I suffered through.After an hour and dropping my phone on my face twice, I almost gave in yesterday and plugged in the laptop Grant gave me. Every time he's around he pisses me off so I forget to give it back. The only thing stopping me was the fact it's still downstairs in our kitchen and I didn't have the energy to deal with the first floor. Plus, I can't get attached to the design and super-fast speed because I'm definitely giving it back to him. I need to find a box and then it's gone.If I didn't care so much for my p
Less than seven days later and I eat my previous words. The Serenity Spa at Arizona's Camelback Mountain is pretty awesome."It's so hot, but like... not hot," Marissa whines and flips over in her lounge chair.She's not exaggerating. Arizona is hot at the end of June. Even under the large canopy that provides us with shade, the temperature is scorching. My skin feels ready to melt away from my bones like in the ending of that Indiana Jones movie, but I'm not sweating.Still it's Arizona and I'm at a spa. Heat blisters are a small price to pay. I wouldn't be here at all if Aspen hadn't hounded me this week. The cost of airline tickets to Arizona wasn't horrible, but more than I could spend. Aspen offered to pay for my ticket, but I'm not one to accept help for a spa weekend. I'm not sure I'd accept help for much of anything.They were unable to talk me into it until Ryland, decided his wife couldn't fly coach and rented out an entire private plane. There was back-and-forth betw
Aspen clears her throat next to me. "I booked you a body treatment.""You did? Which one?" I looked over the website Aspen sent earlier this week and there wasn't a single option I'd consider affordable. Of course, under normal circumstances I couldn't afford to sit next to the spa. "I can't afford anything right now." I hate making myself sound poor, but it's better than having a huge bill later. If I can't pony up the extra on next month's rent, Drew will have a coronary."Nonsense," Aspen says. "It's on Finn and me."I don't know what to say. Another cost may be no big deal to Aspen, but it's an expensive gift. And Aspen will never understand how much it means to me. I open my mouth to give her a sincere thank you when Marissa beats me to it."Have you noticed how you and Finn now talk like one another? If you get married, you think you'll morph into one single person."Aspen doesn't comment, choosing instead to stare at her best friend with "a what the hell" expression th
I slide my key in the lock and open the door a crack before turning around and waving to Aspen as she hangs half out of the black SUV that picked us up from the airport."See you on Sunday!" she yells before Jake, the driver, honks the horn twice and drives away.Now that we've bonded over a weekend in Arizona, I'll never be able to get out of a girls' brunch again. But for the first time in... forever I'm excited about having a close group of girlfriends. Who knows, maybe one day I'll even get used to hanging out with rich people.My skin would definitely appreciate it. I roll up the sleeves of my sweater and stare at my arm for a few seconds before walking into the house. It tingles and feels so... clean. And smooth. It's the weirdest sensation ever.Mid skin admiration my body bends and the floor reaches out for me. I stick an arm out to catch my fall as the box I tripped over bashes me in the shin."Mother..." I grab a dining room chair and successfully stop myself from f
The early evening sun is out in force today, but it's still nowhere near as warm as the shade in Arizona. The air around me may be bright, happy, and warm, but inside there's a storm brewing. Monday morning at the center is always a bit crazy, especially in the summer.There's normally a mound of paperwork for me to look over. Today is no different. Incident reports from the weekend, new volunteer applications, and every person who walks by my door has to stop at it and tell me what they did over the weekend. I cater to them because listening to what they consider a boring weekend gives me insights into what's going on at home and where they might need more help. It's also better than reading the plea agreements when one of them gets in trouble.I love working at the center, but I'm normally ready to come home and sit in silence at the end of the day. That's not so much the case today when I know what awaits me at home.Grant Moore III.I haven't accepted the fact he now lives
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.