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Chapter 17: Regrets
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Boys of RDA Chapter 18: Assholes Don't Get to Sleep In
My shoe slams against the back wall of the closet, and I cross my fingers it landed near Finn's head and woke him up. Assholes do not get to sleep in on Sundays. I'm fuming. My actions might get me kicked out of the apartment if I don't get along with my floor mate, but I can't bring myself to give a shit.Finn walked out on me last night. At first I sat on the couch and stared at my blank television as my brain tried to process what had happened. Then I cried. I was dumped by a great guy for what? Because I did everything I could to help a friend get over her devastating breakup? I didn't cheat on him. I aged my liver a little faster, that's all. For my horrible indiscretion Finn decides I'm not worthy of him? Well, screw him.Any man who doesn't understand I would do whatever it takes for my best friend doesn't deserve to be with me. I don't know where Finn sleeps in relation to my closet, but I hope it's close. I grab another shoe to throw it at the wall and stop when I see the
Boys of RDA Chapter 19: Your Loss, Buddy
HIS DOOR MATCHES MINE, but it feels harder as my knuckles make contact with the wood. Finn answers with a weary look. It heightens my pissed off mood."Aspen?" I'm not sure why he thinks I'm here, but I don't give him long to ponder it."You know what? Fuck you, Finn! You think I shouldn't help my best friend when she gets her heart broken? You think it makes me such a bad person you can't date me. What does that make you? You want to act as if I'm not worthy of you? Well your loss, buddy," I yell at him and then turn to leave.I've said my piece. I skipped over the part about being independent and it didn't sound as good as it did when I practiced it with Marissa and Amanda. Plus I'm shaking, but I said it without crying so it's a win in my book."You're not a bad person, Pen." He sounds upset. The balls on this man. He's not allowed to sound upset. He lost that right when he dumped me."Don't call me Pen. You aren't my friend," I fling back at him and then stumble over my o
Boys of RDA Chapter 20: I Know You Saw Me!
I spot him as I walk out the main lobby door on my way to work, but I keep to my plan. My head held high, I reach the rear bumper of the black Escalade before he can stop me."Aspen! I know you saw me."Jake is older than I am and larger, but he's fit. I calculate my ability to outrun him and decide my odds aren't good. I have on tennis shoes, but I've never been much into distance running. Plus I have a gut feeling the man would chase me all the way to work if I tried to make a dash for it.I turn and a black-suit-clad Jake is two feet from me. The back door to the SUV is left open behind him. It's not Jake's fault Finn is an asshole. I don't want to be mean to him, but I'm not getting in the car. No way, no how."Sorry, Jake. I am going to walk today. I'm sure Finn will understand. I wouldn't want him to be around someone like me. I might talk him into making reckless decisions." I hate myself a little for the emotion that seeps through my words. I sound so catty. It's not no
Boys of RDA Chapter 21: That's Not What You Do with an Ex
The mention of Jake stirs my few remaining remnants of anger. "I don't want a ride, Finn. Rides to work aren't what you do with an ex."Finn flinches at the word ex. "I want to make sure you're safe, Aspen. I fucked up, but I would feel better if you had Jake with you. I understand why you won't do it for me, but at the very least do it to save all these sexy heels you always have on.""You think my heels are sexy?" Damnit, Aspen! Of all the crap to latch onto, I have to ask about the sexy heels.Finn perks up a small amount with my question. "Everything you do is sexy." He exhales or sighs I can't decide. "I'm such a dumbass, Aspen. I don't know what I was thinking. Please, will you come in and let me try to explain?"He opens the door wider. I shouldn't. I don't want to. But I do. I follow him inside. The door closes behind me, blocking a quick retreat.Finn's place, well I guess technically his friend's place, is larger than my 450-square-foot apartment. It's massive. My e
Boys of RDA Chapter 22: Revelations
"Anyway, it was about a year into the relationship when it started to go south. In the beginning Britney was fun to be around, we hung out. It was easy. Eventually, it became obvious we wanted different things in life. Britney wanted to drink and party with her friends all night."She wanted to eat at the most expensive restaurants, buy the best clothes, take lavish vacations. But she didn't have the money to support that kind of lifestyle and wasn't willing to work for it." He hasn't moved from his spot, but his hands continue to flex into fist as he talks."I was a college kid who spent my free time playing video games. Britney didn't see who I really was. She couldn't see beyond the fact she was dating a Stanford guy. I was expected to graduate and get a high profile job to make her dreams a reality." Finn pauses, deep in thought. "Britney didn't come from a wealthy family, but she wanted to make herself one. I was expected to lead the charge."The seconds tick away and he doe
Boys of RDA Chapter 23: Poor Finn
The boys are late to pick me up from work. Jake has never been late before. He has to be a driving frenzy through the city. I remember my last death defying ride when I was late for our first girl's brunch. I'm pretty sure Jake had the massive Escalade on two wheels at one point, which is a feat considering traffic doesn't move at more than twenty-five miles an hour anywhere in the city. Poor Finn.The black Escalade turns the corner and tires squeal as Jake speeds up before he slams on the brakes inches from me. The large vehicle lurches forward, the back door swings open, and Finn jumps out. He falls to his knees in front of me and latches on to my midsection with a death grip."Save me, please. Save me from his driving!" People stop to stare at his over exaggerated actions."Oh my God, Finn. What are you doing?" I start to pull him toward his black death trap, but he stands, laughing at my reaction. His cologne clings to me from where his forest green shirt and matching plain
Boys of RDA Chapter 24: Nonsense
"Nonsense. They know you'll be here. I figured I'd keep it a surprise so you couldn't come down with the flu before getting in the car." He laughs at his own joke then places a small kiss on my temple. His warm lips remove some of my apprehension.The store is well lit and inviting. I hate to admit I had labeled, but this isn't what I expected at all. Maybe Finn is right and I do have a horrible stereotype of his people. Whenever I envision a comic store, they're dusty, closed off, and full of people dressed up as wizards. Everyone here is casual, but normal — maybe a little heavy on the color black, but hey, it's a slimming color.A tall, handsome guy in dark jeans and a tan sport coat with a blue dress shirt approaches our area and takes a heavy seat on the couch across from us."Finn... and Aspen, I presume," he greets us but looks in the direction of the coffee."Aspen, this pleasant fellow is Trey," Finn introduces me with heavy sarcasm.His friend's harsh face hasn't li
Boys of RDA Chapter 25: It was a Test?
Trey passes a similar tall, but green mug to Finn. "She passed, man. You two have a nice night. I'm out," then he turns on his heels and heads toward the front of the store. The bell dings as he makes his exit.I close my mouth, but it soon falls open again. Finn eyes me and hesitates with his next comment.I decide to beat him to the punch. "It was a test?" I'm not even positive what his words mean, but I'm pretty sure I have a right to be pissed here. We've been back together for less than twenty-four hours and he's testing me. What. The. Hell?Finn's face falls, and his lips part slightly in shock. "Oh no. What did Trey do?"I give Finn the rundown of what happened between Trey and me while he was gone. I expect indignation or anger, but when I finish, he leans back letting a short sigh escape. "You have to understand he's rather protective of me. My friends don't want to see me get hurt again.""So, you're okay with what he said about you?" I can't wrap my head around the
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Boys of RDA Chapter 246: Series Epilogue
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
Boys of RDA Chapter 245: Finn Hooked You Up
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
Boys of RDA Chapter 244: Full Marissa Style
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
Boys of RDA Chapter 243: Horrible Timing
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
Boys of RDA Chapter 242: A Scene I Never Want to See Again
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Boys of RDA Chapter 241: Kidnapped
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
Boys of RDA Chapter 240: Forgive and Forget
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
Boys of RDA Chapter 239: Final Answers
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
Boys of RDA Chapter 238: Truthful Memories
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.
