Ada The whole day at work, I’m distracted just thinking about what Harry told me, and I have to admit that the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. Why wouldn’t Damson tell me this? Besides, I don’t think that what I heard them argue about had anything to do with this although Harry mentioned something about—Oh, my thoughts are all scrambled now and I can’t be sure of what I heard. All I know is that Harry didn’t lie to me. Why would he? As for Damson, well, I wish I could comfort him right now. I didn’t think his distance had anything to do with a personal matter of his. I just thought he was mad at me because I decided to start working for these people again. I’ve been so distracted that I haven’t noticed Maximilian Loxley much, thank heavens for that. Maybe this is how it’s going to be from now on. I think that whatever this is that’s going on between us is going to slowly be forgotten over the weeks or even days, and then things will finally get back to normal for m
AdaFor the next two days, things have been calm and on the low. I haven’t had any weird experience with Mr. Loxley. Except, of course, when his hand accidentally grazed mine while I was pouring him coffee this morning. It felt like I’d been zapped with electricity and when I looked at him, undoubtedly with an accusing look burning in my eyes, he seemed just as surprised as me. But whatever. That was a mild thing. Nothing to be concerned about. Damson still hasn’t called and I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with him. Why won’t he talk to me? It’s so frustrating, to be honest. This day is almost ending. Tomorrow will be another day and things feel so stale. I won’t even mention how disappointed I was when I went through the photos I took and, you guessed it, there was absolutely nothing in them that would tie Reynold Loxley to my father’s death. It feels like I’m chasing after ghosts, to be honest. I feel so irritated with the whole thing. So frustrated, too. In my mind, this
MaximilianI kiss her. I fucking kiss her. I think I grab her face and she stands up, both of us moving backward until her back hits the door of my office hard, making a sound that should scare me but doesn’t, our lips locked. I lose my mind for a moment. I’m overcome by this feverish sensation that races up and down my spine before it settles on my chest, burning bright and nearly suffocating me. Is this feeling desire? Lust? Need? Or a mixture of all three? Her hands are grabbing the lapels of my shirt, pulling me close as our mouths move together. My tongue darts out, settling on her lower lip. She parts her lips for me, allowing me entrance into her sweet mouth. My tongue finds hers and the two move like intimate friends. Like lovers. This is the first time I’ve ever kissed her but it doesn’t feel like it. It’s like my body knows her, and hers knows mine. The moment ends abruptly. She stills, becoming as rigid as a rock, and I break the kiss before taking a few steps away fr
Ada When I get back to my apartment, I'm shaking. Literally. Shaking. I close the door and when I try to lock it, I drop the keys multiple times. To be fair, I don't know how I drove myself here. I should've crashed the car. It's a miracle, it truly is. Because I'm a mess. I have been since he kissed me. I even came home in my uniform. That's how jumbled up my mind is. I didn't change. I just grabbed my clothes and my bag and came running. The truth is that I was afraid he'd follow me. But he didn't. Now that I'm home, in a place that's safe for me, it's easier for me to focus and think about what truly happened. The horrifying part is that I kissed him back. There, I've said it. I kissed him back. I should've pushed him away but for some reason, that didn't occur to me. I had this curiosity to kiss him back. To know what it would be like.And now I’m regretting that because it’s just about the craziest thing I’ve ever done, arguably the dumbest. I chew my thumb nonstop and
MaximilianThe words I said to Naomi were more to me than to her, because I was right. I do have to forget that the kiss ever happened. I’ve gotten myself into serious trouble because of it. My desire for her has spiraled out of control to the point where I used someone dear to me to erase the thought of her from my mind, or rather, not the thought, but this curiosity of mine to know what she tastes like. What happened between Kelly and me should never have occurred. It was a mistake I think I’ll pay for for the rest of my life. I leave without having breakfast. This is for the best. Whenever she’s around, I can’t seem to think straight, so this is me cutting the problem from the root, since I don’t know how to fucking behave. I rarely drive to work with my head as full as it is. Usually, it’s easy for me to focus on what I’m going to do all day, but she hasn’t left my mind for a second. I couldn’t even tell if she was relieved by what I said, or disappointed. She’s never given me
AdaI haven’t seen him for the whole day. That’s how I refer to him now. As him. I didn’t have to serve breakfast because, luckily enough, nobody would be having any. Everyone left early. I have a feeling he did it to avoid me, but at the same time, I think I might be delusional because he approached me. He’s not trying to avoid me. I’m in his house, not the other way around. If he never wants to see me again, all he has to do is fire me and I’ll be out of his sight. I haven’t had a chance to look for any clues. Then again, I’m not really in the mood to. My concentration can’t falter, and right now, I’m too deep in my thoughts to get something so risky done. The day is nearly coming to an end but I swear it’s been the longest of my life. It’s been so tedious, too. I’ve just been cleaning and nothing else. At this rate, I don’t think I’ll have the encouragement to come back. I have twenty minutes until I have to leave when I’m called by Mrs. Danes. She says to me, “Miss Loxley is
Ada"A direct order, is it?" I ask, tearing my arm from his grip. "And I suppose that makes you so much better than her?"He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, almost like he's calming himself down. When he looks back at me, his eyes are shooting daggers at me. "Do you take pleasure in being such a complicated person?""I'm not being complicated, I'm just pointing out a fact," I claim. "An order is an order. I'll get someone else to do it. As you wish, sir."I start to walk away from him, but he shocks me by grabbing my arm and forcing me to face him. A gasp leaves my lips in the process. He's doing this in broad daylight. Where anyone could see us and assume whatever they want. I tell him, "I have to remind you that anyone could be watching us, Mr. Loxley. Now's the right time for you to release me.""Do you think I care about anyone watching?" he asks in a low voice, his face only inches away from mine. "I pay them to mind their business. Whoever has a problem with what I do
Maximilian Kelly leaves before dinner is even served, which honestly, I'm thankful for. I was surprised to see her here. I thought the discussion we had earlier would be enough to send her away forever, but it seems not, and I don't know how I feel about that.I'm cutting into my ribeye when Rebecca says my name. "Max."I look up at her. My expression is one of boredom, I'm sure. Judging by her tone, she wants to talk about a complicated matter. I'm sure it has to do with Kelly and what happened earlier. "What's going on with you? Could you tell me?""Rebecca," I begin, "I don't think that—""Kelly told me what happened," she whispers after looking around to ensure that nobody is around to hear her. "You know, between the two of you in your office."I suppress the urge to groan. Fuck. "I already had a conversation with her concerning this," I say, keeping my tone level. "I don't think there's anything left to say.""This isn't like you at all," she claims. "You're not one to brea
Ada Max and I lie down next to each other afterward, breathing hard. This was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. I didn't know I needed this until now. I'm exhilarated for a few minutes right after I climax before it all comes down hard and I feel even more depressed. As if sending the swift change in mood, Max wraps an arm around me and pulls me close. I let him because the only time I ever felt great in these last seven years was in his arms just now and I'm eager to have more of that feeling even if it won't last long and will only lead to more complicated situations. Compared to what I had before—which was nothing—this was everything. I turn my head to look at him just as he turns his as well. Our eyes lock and I lose myself in the depths of his eyes. There’s so much I want to say to him but wouldn’t know where to begin. I don’t even know if what I have to say is the right thing. Max runs his fingers down the length of my arm and I shudder, desire pooling in my
MaximilianThe sounds of her sobs make me desperate.I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. “Ada,” I whisper her name softly while caressing her face. She sobs even louder, turning her head to the side like the sound of my voice offends her. I wait for her to speak. It’s the only thing that I can do. “I’m sorry, Max,” she says once she’s calmed down enough. Her eyes are back on mine and they’re red. “I don’t mean to make you feel bad. I just…it hit me all of a sudden. How much things changed.”“Don’t I know it,” I murmur, doing my best to keep things between us light though it’s almost impossible to ignore how hard I am right now, and how she’s the only woman I’ve wanted for so long. “I feel like such a failure,” she admits. “It’s not easy, coming to terms with a separation. I loved you, Max. There are times when I think that I always will.”I meet her gaze, hope surging inside of me. “So will I. I’ll always love you no matter what happens between us.”“I’m scared,” she admits. “I’m t
AdaWhen Max arrives, I have to admit that I feel nervous. Really nervous. Like I know what will happen before I do. Our eyes lock the minute I open the door, and a heated moment passes. I don’t know why it happened or even how. I just know that I feel this heat low in my belly at the sight of him and it didn’t happen when we saw each other the first time. This is a bad idea. I know it. Yet, I open the door wider for him, inviting him into my apartment. Max walks in uncertainly, looking around and clearing his throat. He’s clearly uncomfortable and perhaps senses the same thing that I do. I close the door and take a deep breath. “How are you feeling?” I whirl around to face him and notice that his eyes are already on me. Licking my lips, I say, “I’ve had better days.”His eyes soften with concern and for some reason, I’m transported back to the old days—the days when we used to be together all the time. He looked at me in this exact same way. “Did he try to call you again?”I
Ada But Damson never calls me, and in the end, my hopes are crushed and I have this despair deep inside of me because I don’t know what to do. Why didn’t he call?I didn’t do anything wrong. I followed his stupid instructions. I did what I was supposed to! Yet, he left me hanging, which makes me wonder exactly what his plan is. I thought I had the whole thing figured out. Apparently, I was wrong. I’m so demotivated that when my phone rings and I see that it’s Max, I cry before getting any word out. On the other end of the line, his despair is evident, and even though I hear all his questions, I can’t bring myself to answer any of them. “Ada? Ada, please, tell me what happened. Please. Don’t leave me like this. Is it Damson? What did he do? What did he say?”“I can’t take this anymore,” I sob. “I can’t. He told me he’d send me the address. Told me I’d get to…to see Victoria today.”Max is silent as I try to get my emotions in check. Sniffling and feeling considerably calmer, I say
Ada “Today is the day,” Damson says as soon as I answer the call. This sends goosebumps spreading all across my skin and I suck in a breath through my teeth. “What? What do you mean?”“I can’t tell you more but do you trust me.”I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and fight my parched throat. I move away from the window in the living room and turn to sit on the couch instead. I don’t think my legs can keep supporting me. “Yes, I trust you.”“Then that’s all I can say to you. I don’t want to ruin the surprise. We’ll talk soon, alright?”After the call, I walk around my apartment restlessly. I’m chewing my nails. I’m pacing the floor of the living room. It’s a mess, waiting for Damson to call me again. The strange part about all this is that Max didn’t call me the way he usually does. What does that mean? That he doesn’t receive a call?I think briefly of calling him before deciding that it just isn’t worth it. What if Damson wants me to see my daughter today or something similar? May
MaximilianI nod. “That’s him.”“You’re sure?”“One hundred percent,” I grit out. “I would never forget his face. Not ever.”I’m exhilarated that we’ve managed to catch him. I know that this isn’t much—we still don’t know where he lives—but this is more progress than has been made in years. The investigator says, “I’ll be watching him closely after this to ensure that we find his residence as quickly as possible but the shop’s clerk didn’t have a fixed time. He comes and goes whenever he has to shop and it’s usually at random times. I’ve also mentioned this to Miss Loxley here, but they’ve never seen the girl. Not once in all these years.”“What could that mean?”The man shrugs. “Just that he keeps her well. I don’t know enough to draw any conclusions—this is just me guessing at things.”“We understand that,” Rebecca cuts in. My eyes are drawn to the screen again. Years of hatred bubble inside of me and nearly spill over. I have to keep it all in for when the time is right. “It’ll
MaximilianEvery time my phone rings, it can only be one of two people: Ada or that fucking lunatic. At least, that’s how it’s been in the last few days. But this time, it’s Rebecca who’s calling me. So much has happened since I last spoke to her that I forgot all about our interaction. “Max,” she says. “I have news.”“If it’s about Damson, forget it,” I say right away. “We’re already negotiating and I don’t want you getting involved and ruining everything.”Her response is a sputter. “What? What are you talking about? You’re talking to him? How? When did this happen?”“Very recently,” I reply, my tone clipped. “Max, you can’t buy into his story! That man is evil and he’s out to get both of you! I take it you didn’t call the police?”“Rebecca, we’re taking care of this the way we see fit. Thank you for your help but I never asked for it. I don’t want it.”“Max, I told you about the investigator, didn’t I? Well, now we have some information and he might have found the area that Dam
Ada The next time Damson calls, I’m ready for him. “Hello, Ada,” he says in that strange voice of his. “How have you been? Did you miss me?”The first time, I was so caught off guard that I didn’t know what to say or where to even begin. I had nothing in my head apart from the crippling despair that came with wanting to know where my daughter was. But since Max and I spoke and I had time to think about this, I knew what Damson expected of me. I knew deep inside of me what he wanted—what kind of cooperation he was looking for. And for Victoria, I would do it all. “Yes,” I answer in a small voice, trying to sound afraid. I hoped he would buy my act because that was what I would be doing for the next few times we talked. Until I found our daughter, that is. I hear the sound of water. It sounds like he’s taking a bath. “I’ve been taking to Max. I always call him before I call you. You know why?”I don’t answer him. “It’s because I need to remind myself why I did all this before I
Ada So much has happened today that I’m not even shocked that Max is standing in my living room. When I received Damson’s call, it left me completely disoriented. As I stare at Max’s face, I recall it even now. I don’t think I would ever be able to forget the phone call I had with him. “Hello, Ada,” he said. Though he sounded the same, his voice had a strange ring to it. “It’s been a long time since we’ve talked, hasn’t it?”I was so shocked that he was talking to me that I didn’t say anything in response for like a solid minute. I thought it was perhaps an interviewer or something. I never would have guessed that it was him even though I’d been waiting for this call for the longest time. For seven years, to be precise. “I thought you’d be happy to hear from me,” he claimed. “I’ve been holding myself back for the longest time. Every single day that passed, I wanted to call you. But I held myself. Now the time has come.”My breaths became shaky and I couldn’t open my mouth to spea