A Cracked Wall.

                    CHAPTER FIVE

MAZIKEEN

   I walked into the house that evening and was immediately greeted by the smell of stir fry and the sight of Savannah,barefoot and wearing one of Graylin's shirt as she moved around the kitchen like she belonged there.

“What are you doing?”

She whipped around, her almost non-existent brows furrowed as she gave me a once over.

“How did you get in?”

I scoffed. “I live here…. you don't.”

“Gray gave me a key,” she simply said with a shrug. “You probably have one too…” 

“What are you doing here?” I cut in sharply and she gave me a “duhh” look as she waved a hand behind her.

“I'm cooking…obviously.”

“Get out.”

“Oh honey…”

“I said get out!”

Savannah startled a bit then took a small step back,her eyes darting down to my clenched fists.

“I'm only here because Gray wants me here,” she began. “He told me you both were in an open relationship and I could come over whenever I liked.”

“We aren't in an open relationship,” I unclenched my left fist and raised my hand to show her the ugly diamond on my finger, “we are engaged!”

Savannah didn't look the slightest bit surprised at my declaration and instead turned to turn off the stove and face me again.

“He also told me about that,but I don't think a ring should stop anything…”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” I shouted, feeling the rage zinging through my veins like liquid electric.

“Can't you see he's using you?! He's getting married to me! You're just the other woman!”

“Does it look like I care about that?” Savannah shot back,her tone dry and flat.

“Look, Maze, I don't want any problems and I certainly don't care what you think about me….Gray and I are together,deal with it.”

"Do you know he once tied me up and raped me until I miscarried on our bed?"

Savannah scoffed disdainfully,her eyes roaming over me. "Then why're you still here then?"

There it was again,that bolt of raw energy that always made my eyes glow and my teeth and bones ache.

I quickly shut my eyes before she could see them,and whirled around, stalking out of the kitchen as a sob burned the back of my throat.

Why was I still here?

                        ******

“I don't like her.”

Graylin looked up from the computer perched ontop of his lap and studied me with expressionless eyes. “Who?”

“Savannah.”

He scoffed, returning his gaze to the lit screen as he began tapping the buttons of his keyboard.

“I doubt she cares about being liked by you, Mazikeen.”

“That's besides the point…” I continued as I moved to stand at the foot of the bed,”I want her gone.”

He didn't say anything for a while and just kept typing until I felt hot embarrassment and a twinge of guilt curling up in my stomach.

Graylin had been responsible for me my whole life,I should want him to be happy,even if the things that made him happy, ultimately made me miserable.

I owed him everything.

“I thought you understood me…” he finally murmured,then paused and looked at me,fully as he shook his head disappointedly. 

“I've given you everything….and you can't even let me have this one thing?”

I swallowed the knot in my throat as my palms began to sweat.

“I just…don't feel comfortable with you both being so close…it makes me feel…cheated.”

“And what would make you feel less cheated? Getting a lover too?”

I averted my gaze as a bitter taste exploded in my mouth. I didn't want that,I just wanted him to only look at me,hold me,kiss me…but I nodded in response to his question; Because perhaps,him seeing me with another man would jolt him to his senses and make him see that I was the only one he needed.

“We should just make it balanced….”

Graylin's harsh laugh cut me off,and I took a deep calming breath as I turned my gaze back to him, watching his handsome face contort with genuine amusement.

“What?” I asked when he finally stopped laughing.

“You really think you'd be able to get a man looking like that?” He sneered,his voice deceptively light.

“What do you mean?”

He gave me a slow once over,his eyes lingering on my belly for a moment. “Perhaps if you'd stop having so much ice cream and actually get consistent with your workout,you could find a man.”

I froze,my heart slamming against my chest painfully as shame washed over me.

“I…you didn't have to say that.” I croaked,my voice betraying the tears I was keeping at bay. “I've been working out like you asked me to…and I don't even eat as much ice cream as you think.”

“Bullshit,” he countered,then slapped his laptop shut and placed it on the nightstand.

“I mean,you could be considered cute…” he continued, leaning back against the headboard as he watched me. “But Maze,have you seen what most women look like? They are so much more than cute. Men don't want cute….they want hot.”

“I can be hot too,” I blurted out without thinking,then moved closer until I was at his side.

I hesitated for the briefest second before climbing over and straddling him.

“I can be whatever you want me to be,Gray…”

He didn't move as I began to trail my fingers down his muscled chest and up until I slid my hands it into his hair.

But then he drew back when I moved in to kiss him, his eyes hard as he shoved me off him and stood up.

“Gray…?”

“I'll be sleeping in the guest room,” he said as he stretched lazily. “Goodnight,Maze.”

“I'm sorry.” 

He paused mid walking to the door and gave me a tight smile, “I really wish you would care for me the way I care for you.”

And with that,he left the room.

I sank down on the bed and released a shaky sigh as an emptiness began to spread in my chest.

Sex was the only way I ever felt close to Graylin

,felt his emotions…and he knew this, so his rejection was nothing but him stonewalling, punishing me.