A Palpable Connection

Katie’s two black garbage bags lay on the ground next to her feet. She stood in front of Zoe’s pink two-story house, complete with black and pink polka-dotted shutters. Katie knew she should come up with something nice to say about the house, like how bright and cheerful it was, but she couldn’t quite get the words to come out. “Your place has a lot of character,” she finally managed.

Zoe laughed. “I know, it’s a little much. But it’s my happy place.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Katie said. “You’re a real lifesaver. This week has been insane, and I don’t know what I would have done without you and the mayor.”

“Well, we couldn’t have a visitor end up in the homeless camp. What would you have told your friends?”

Katie’s stomach churned. She knew Zoe was teasing her, but it struck a sour note. Katie had been in homeless camps before, and the only reason she wasn’t in one now was because she’d escaped Colorado and ended up in this strange New Mexican town. “I would have told them that I found the nicest homeless camp this side of the Mississippi.”

An uncomfortable silence fell, but then Zoe grinned. “You are hilarious. I can tell we’re going to get along great.”

Katie managed a weak smile. “Yeah, I think we will.”

With only a mild protest from Katie, Zoe helped carry Katie’s bags into the house and up the stairs to the second floor. They stopped at a corner room and Zoe waved Katie in, but she stopped in the doorway. Mistletoe hung above her head and snowflakes and dancing snowmen covered the walls.

Katie’s skin crawled. Christmas had always been something to avoid, and now she was going to have to sleep with those creepy snowman eyes staring at her all night. “Wow. This is—something, isn’t it?”

“Is this room okay? I figured with Christmas just around the corner, you might enjoy it.”

Katie grimaced. “Thank you, how considerate. That’s sweet that your parents didn’t change the room after you outgrew it.” Her parents hadn’t known if she was home or not, let alone asked if she’d like her room decorated.

Zoe shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah—my parents live in Florida. I was twenty-seven when I decorated this room.”

Katie knew it was rude to laugh, but she couldn’t stop herself. A barking laugh burst from her as she slid to the ground, tears rolling down her face. It was like all the laughter that had been forced to hide over the years had finally broken free. “I’m—I’m sorry,” she said, gasping for breath. “I don’t know why that struck me as so funny. I swear, I’m not making fun of you.”

But when she glanced over at Zoe to make sure she wasn’t angry with her, Katie realized that Zoe was laughing nearly as hard.

“I know,” Zoe said, when she was able to talk again. “You wouldn’t believe the themes I have going in this house. It’s like I’ve played musical rooms. When I get bored with one, I move to another and decorate that one with my new obsession.”

“What other ones do you have?”

Zoe looked up at the ceiling, like she was trying to remember. “Space. Advanced technology, like robots and stuff,” she said, counting them off on her fingers. “Vampires—don’t ask about that one.”

“What is your current obsession?” Katie asked, unsure if she wanted to know, but too curious not to ask.

“Jungle,” Zoe said. “I have Tarzan and Jane, of course, plus fake trees and vines. Right now I have a pug-themed kitchen that you’re free to use. I’ve cleared out one side of the fridge for you, plus a couple cupboards.”

Katie’s breath hitched. Zoe had cleared space for her—like she belonged. No one had ever done that before.

“What about you?” Zoe asked, looking at Katie expectantly.

“What about me?” Katie hoped she didn’t sound as idiotic to Zoe as she did to herself.

“Do you have any obsessions?”

Running away from home at the age of twelve hadn’t given Katie much of a chance to develop interests like a typical teenager. And she doubted that learning to pickpocket and sweet talk her way out of sticky situations was quite what Zoe meant. “I like reading.”

Zoe’s eyebrows popped up, but she also smiled, like she was pleasantly surprised. “What kind of books do you read?”

“Book,” Katie said. “Just one book.” She pulled Anna Karenina from one of the bags. She saw it through the eyes of a stranger, ripped and falling apart. But that only made Katie love it more. “I don’t have the whole thing memorized, of course, considering it’s 864 pages. But I know all the good stuff.”

“What is your favorite line?” Zoe stared at her intensely, like she really wanted to know the answer.

Katie hesitated, embarrassed by the attention. “’All the variety, all the charm, all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow.’”

“That’s beautiful,” Zoe said softly.

Katie shrugged a shoulder. “It gives me hope.” Because if everything good was made up of shadow and light—maybe someone like her could find their way out of the darkness. And maybe she would discover that the beauty of life had been waiting for her all along.

                                                                        * * * * *

Katie rummaged through the clothes in her bags. “It has to be here,” she muttered. She grabbed one bag and held it upside down, dumping all the clothes out onto the floor. When that one yielded no results, she dumped out the other.

“You ready to go?” Zoe called up the stairs.

“Just about,” Katie called back. She cursed and threw the empty bags aside. Where could it be? She knew she’d had it yesterday for sure. Did she wear it today?

“Anything I can help with?” Zoe asked from the doorway, eyeing the clothes strewn around the room.

Katie released a heavy breath. “My leather jacket. Have you seen it?”

“Not recently,” Zoe said. “You probably don’t need more than a sweater, though. It’s been pretty warm today.”

“I know, but I need the jacket for—sentimental reasons.”

Zoe watched Katie for a moment. “Like a security blanket?”

“Something like that.” Katie tried to keep the panic at bay. It was only two hundred dollars, minus what she’d spent on lunch. She had gotten by on a lot less in the past. She repeated this to herself, but it only bottled up the panic until she felt she would explode.

That one hundred and ninety-five dollars was everything. It meant her survival.

“I haven’t seen the jacket, but I’d be happy to ask around,” Zoe said.

Katie didn’t know why she was trying to keep the money a secret. It wasn’t like Zoe needed the money. She worked for the mayor and had her own house. Old habits didn’t die easily, Katie supposed.

“The money CJ gave me when he bought my car is in the pocket of my jacket,” Katie said, her voice shaking. “It’s the only money I have.”

Zoe nodded, like she’d expected as much. “Let me make a couple calls and retrace our steps. I’m sure it will show up, but in the meantime, grab a sweater. I’m treating you to lunch on our way to the office.”

Had someone told Katie that she would be spending her Friday night at Town Hall, she would have rolled her eyes and told them they couldn’t prove she had done anything wrong. And yet, here she was, comparing festival layout designs in Zoe’s office. The one in front of Katie was the design that Zoe seemed to think everyone would like best. It would exhibit the beauty of the holidays, complete with thousands of white lights, a large canopy, and the town orchestra. A map of the park sat next to Katie to help her visualize the event. Though Zoe had also made a point of telling Katie that this design should be their last resort—the safe option.

Katie had taken that as permission to come up with other ideas, and she had. But the design that Katie wanted to use was…different. She hadn’t shown that one to Zoe yet.

Katie sighed and rested her forehead on the desk in front of her. She didn’t know anything about planning events—what had Sam and Zoe been thinking when they offered her this job? Katie was so out of her league, she considered escaping town just to save herself the embarrassment.

“Oh, come now, it can’t be that bad,” a low voice said.

Katie gasped and sat up straight. Sam—was she still allowed to call him that?—stood in the hallway, looking in. He smiled and his eyes crinkled in silent laughter.

Katie clutched her chest, her heart racing. “You can’t sneak up on someone like that.”

“Sorry,” Sam said, taking a tentative step forward. “I’m not used to anyone else being in the building on a Friday night.”

“And frankly, I’m not used to working on a Friday night.” Katie paused. That wasn’t entirely true, but she had never worked a legitimate job on a Friday night, so figured it didn’t count. “But no worries, I have everything under control,” she said, hoping she sounded more confident than she felt.

“I heard you were looking for this,” Sam said, undraping something from his arm.

Katie jumped from her seat behind the desk. “My jacket! Where did you find it?”

“You left it in my office yesterday, but I didn’t realize it had the money from CJ in it. I’m sorry, I would have returned it sooner,” Sam said, handing Katie the jacket.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Katie hugged the jacket close, then realized that might look weird, so she hung it on her chair behind the desk and sat back down.

Katie thought Sam would leave now that he had returned her jacket, but instead he walked over to the desk. “Let’s take a look at what you have so far.” He leaned over the desk and turned the design so he could see it more fully.

Katie caught a whiff of his musky cologne and it sent her nerves skittering. If she hadn’t already been sitting down, she was sure her knees would have buckled.

“Huh.”

Sam’s response caught Katie off-guard. She glanced at him and was surprised to see that he looked disappointed. “What’s wrong with it? Zoe thought this would be the easiest to throw together since we have such little time—the safe choice if we couldn’t come up with any other realistic options.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Sam said, nodding. “But, it’s just so…boring.”

Katie agreed, but hadn’t wanted to say anything. “Well, I do have an idea—” She hesitated before pulling out the rough sketch she had completed earlier that afternoon.

Sam took it and sat in the chair opposite Katie.

It felt strange sitting at the desk with the mayor on the other side. Katie wondered if Sam felt the same. If he did, he didn’t say anything. Instead, Sam studied the sketch. At one point his eyebrows rose and he touched the corner of the paper. “Is this a balloon artist?”

“Yes, it is,” Katie said, hoping he wouldn’t discount it right away. “I thought having a carnival theme would be something fun for both kids and adults.”

“I love the idea,” Sam said, “but we’re a bit short on balloon artists in this town. Not only that, but some of these structures would be far too expensive and time consuming to construct—and time is not something we have right now.”

Katie fought the smile that tried to escape. Bev had made the rounds with Katie at the homeless camp and there were a lot of unused talents that she couldn’t wait to use. “Actually, I know some people.”

Sam’s soft gaze pierced her and a small smile played on his lips. “You’ve only had the job a day and you already have more connections than I do. Maybe we should make you mayor instead.”

Katie searched his gaze for sarcasm, but there was none. Only what looked like admiration. She smiled and glanced at the sketch that Sam still held. “Thanks, but I’ll settle for planning your events.” She glanced back up. “Besides, it suits you. Being mayor, I mean.”

“I wish everyone shared your sentiment,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I’ve been mayor for two years, and the town is still waiting for me to fail.”

Pity tugged at Katie. She knew that feeling all too well. It was the reason she’d dropped out of school. If only one person had believed in her, then maybe—

She stopped the thought there. It did no good thinking what might have been. All she had was the present.

“One must live for the needs of the day,” Katie murmured. That was what the present was about—survival.

“Was that meant to cheer me up?” Sam asked, a small smile returning. “Because it doesn’t.”

Katie ducked her head, embarrassed. She had been lost in her own thoughts and hadn’t meant for Sam to hear them.

Sam continued. “‘There was no answer except the general answer life gives to all the most complex and insoluble questions. That answer is: one must live for the needs of the day, in other words, become oblivious.’” Sam paused. “I know that most people think of their politicians as oblivious, but I was hoping to paint a different image for myself.”

Katie’s breath caught, and she stared at the man in front of her. “You—you know Tolstoy?”

Sam’s smiled widened. “Anna Karenina is one of the most inspirational books ever written.”

“And yet, Anna said, ‘It's much better to do good in a way that no one knows anything about it.’” Katie paused. “Why become a politician at all?”

Sam glanced up at the ceiling, as if he were thinking about it. “It’s complicated. Partly because of my father.”

“And the other part?”

“I wanted to change the world—or at least the town—and this was the only way I knew how.”

“Leo Tolstoy himself said, ‘Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one ever thinks of changing himself.’”

Sam’s low chuckled filled the room, leaving Katie breathless once more. She was grateful Sam didn’t know what his presence did to her.

“You got me there,” he said. Sam then quieted and released a long, slow breath. “But sometimes a person doesn’t have the strength to look inward quite yet. ‘Rummaging in our souls, we often dig up something that ought to have lain there unnoticed.’”

Silence filled the office. A palpable connection tethered Katie to Sam, and it terrified her. Katie didn’t connect with people. It wasn’t in her nature. And it was dangerous. But she also couldn’t ignore the longing she had to be closer to Sam—to understand him as a person.

Katie cleared her throat. “Well, I better get back on these designs. I need to be ready to contact everyone first thing Monday morning.”

Sam stood. “Why don’t you call it a night and we can pick back up in the morning. You’ve had quite a week, and I’m sure you could use some down time.”

“What do you mean by ‘we can pick back up?’ I figured I’d be the only one working over the weekend.” Katie tried—and failed—to ignore how excited the prospect of working with Sam made her.

“You didn’t think I’d throw you into this mess without backup, did you? I’ll meet you and Zoe here first thing tomorrow.”

Zoe. Right. A twinge of disappointment pulled at Katie. It’s not that she didn’t like Zoe. Katie did. A lot, actually. But she liked Sam too. And definitely not in the same way she liked Zoe.

Katie shook her head. This was a good thing. Zoe would help keep Katie on track with her plans. Finish this job. Get out of town and land somewhere she could disappear.

“I just figured you would be too busy with other mayoral duties.”

Sam stood. “I have time for this.”

Katie nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning then.” She straightened up the desk, acutely aware of Sam’s presence behind her as she walked out of the office.

“Can I give you a ride home?” Sam asked, his low voice reverberating down the empty hallway.

“I think a walk will do me some good,” Katie said. “But thank you for the offer.” When Sam pushed the down button for the elevator, Katie panicked at the thought of being alone with the mayor in such an enclosed area, trapped with him and his musky cologne. With a quick wave goodbye, Katie bolted down the stairwell and out into the cool evening.

She needed to get a grip on herself or this week was going to end very badly.