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Chapter 39
Last Updated:
2023-06-18 03:46:12
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Blue Ribbon Chapter 40
Chase's POVI woke up alone.The arms that held Lilly all night long were empty now.It was cold again.I rubbed at my eyes and looked around the room, at the sanctuary that kept us locked in, at the bed where I took her again and again, where I showed her how much I loved her and needed her.I hoped she'd see it, that she'd change her mind.But now, she is just gone. Again.My eyes fell on the nightstand to notice a folded piece of paper laying there. My eyebrows pulled closer and when I edged forward to take it, I noticed the blue ribbon laying on top of it.I fisted the ribbon in my hand, then took the paper and unfolded it. My heart clenched tight as my eyes started reading the words written:'I know it sucks that I am doing this over a small piece of paper, and you can blame me for this later and call me all kind of colorful names, I give you the permission.First, I am very sorry for making you wake up all alone after such an amazing night, but Chase, I can't do this. I can't.G
Last Updated : 2023-06-18Blue Ribbon Part Two
Five years later...Lilly's POVI can handle a lot of things in this life.I can handle almost everything.I can handle the truth.It's the lies that kill me.I think to myself as I raise the handbag, trying to squeeze it into the overhead compartment. I push harder, and harder but it doesn't slide inside.I grit my teeth and just think.Lies.So. Many. Fucking. Lies.Dizziness swarms my vision as I put whatever energy I have left into pushing the stupid bag. I groan in annoyance and I just want to scream, every nerve in my body is crying out loud, in pain, in fatigue, and in betrayal."Here, ma'am, let me help you," The stewardess says and I let him take care of it as I slide into my seat. Sitting down doesn't do me any good either. The tightness inside my stomach only increases with every passing second, I just want to throw up.I would've, but having not eaten anything for the past two days isn't helping at all.I open the front camera of my phone and stare at my reflection. I almo
Last Updated : 2023-06-18Blue Ribbon Chapter 1
PART TWO Alex's POV I've tasted heartbreak before. It's not a foreign feeling for me. Its bitterness is still embedded deep down in my mind. It's rooted in a very dark place, a one I've locked years and years ago. It's just been long. So long since I last felt it ripping at my inside. It's been a long time since I felt like I could lose everything again. Heartbreak was when they told me the plane crashed. It was when Cara came back. It was when Lilly looked at me and called another man dad. It is now, at this exact moment as she stood right there and called me a killer. It's ironic how I always felt that this moment would come one day. Our past was too complicated, too messed up to stay hidden and buried. I was a fool to think it wouldn't knock back on our doors again. The irony is that I tried to prepare myself for it, but now, as she looked at me like that, with so much blame, so much pain, and something akin to hate; I knew I am not ready. I was never ready. She knows the
Last Updated : 2023-10-22Blue Ribbon Chapter 2
Lilly's POV"I can't believe your dad is finally okay with this!" Sally squealed, pulling me into another hug.I hugged her back, "Me neither, but he did make me a big huge list of rules, he is probably just trying to discourage me from going, I swear," Sally chuckled at my words and shook her head, "Still, this is so exciting, we both are going, I might burst from happiness, I can't help it!"I smiled at her enthusiasm and crossed my legs over the bed, thinking about what's to come. It is exciting. A new country, a new place, a new me, and most importantly, a new beginning."Did you tell Chase?" Sally's words broke through my thoughts and my smile slowly dropped. I shook my head, "We haven't talked a lot lately," I mumbled, fidgeting with the cover of my phone, "Actually we haven't talked at all for like two weeks," I pulled into a deep breath and looked at my lap, "He is busy with finals, I am also busy with mine, so it's okay, whatever."I felt her hand rest over mine, "Lilly, are
Last Updated : 2023-10-22Blue Ribbon Chapter 3
Two years later...Lilly's POVI officially have no friends anymore.Nope. None. Nada.The friend endearment shouldn't be used so loosely, because no matter what you do for them, the moment always comes and they stab you right in the back.I sighed as I read again through the last message Sally has sent me.She ditched me. That little back-stabber ditched me, her best friend for ten years, for some guy she only met a week ago.I texted the other girls in our group, and they all had excuses. One just got her period, the other is fighting with her boyfriend over something, the third is staying at her boyfriend's place...and Sally is probably having sex by now.Great. Just another one of the many disadvantages of being single at this age and time.The bartender interrupted my self-pity session and pointed to my half-empty martini glass, "Can I get you another one?"I shook my head, "Not yet, thanks," Because apparently, I will be heading home after this.I internally groaned. All I wante
Last Updated : 2023-10-22Blue Ribbon Chapter 4
His words spoke loud and clear. Even though I just met him, but he spoke the truth. I keep trying to suppress that part of me down. It seemed that part of me only existed wherever Chase was. That storm reveled in his calmness, because Chase could easily tame that part down, and without him, I feel that I would just get lost if I let go. I kept guarding and trying to take control but to what end?Now, as those silver-blue eyes mischievously challenged me, I thought that it's maybe okay to let go and get lost again.My gaze drifted down to my see-through shirt, "What am I gonna do about my shirt though?"His eyes went there and he smiled, "I've got a jacket in my car, you can borrow it."I didn't think, I just placed my hand in his, letting him take the lead. It was reckless and dangerous and at the moment, I so liked that. He pulled me outside to the street and paused by the side of what I suppose is his car. He opened it to get the jacket as I sucked into a deep gulp of air, inhaling
Last Updated : 2023-10-22Blue Ribbon Chapter 5
Lilly's POV"Oh wow, he is so hot," Sally whispered with a dreamy sigh, eyeing Christian as he resumed the lecture like nothing just happened, "I applaud you for banging this beautiful human being."I shot her a hard glare. I am over here panicking and thinking of what I am going to do for the rest of the semester and Sally is ogling at Christian like he's an eye candy. Truth be told, he is, but right now I kind of need her support, dammit!"You really have a thing for blue eyes, don't you?" Sally whispered, and I hated everything about her words. At the moment, they made me feel as if I just replaced Chase with someone that reminds me of him, or that makes me feel an ounce of what he once made me feel.I kicked her feet from under the table and hissed at her, "Stop undressing him with your eyes and tell me what the hell I am supposed to do now!""Well, nothing," She mumbled, "Maybe go and have more sex with him, I totally support that, I always had the professor-student fantasy," She
Last Updated : 2024-06-25Blue Ribbon Chapter 6
"What the hell took you so long?" Sally hissed at me as I arrived at her side, waiting by our next class's door. Her eyebrows pulled closer and she looked at me from up to down, "You're face is all flushed," She mumbled, narrowing her eyes at me, "And your hair is all messed up," Her eyes widened, "What the hell did you do?"I gulped down and pulled her to the side, where no one could hear us. I tried to fix my hair and casually dropped the news on her, "We kind of had a quickie in his office."Her eyes grew even wider, "Oh my fucking god, one night stands and quickies with professors," She whisper-yelled, "Who the hell are you and where is my friend Lilly who was pretending to be virgin Mary over the past three years?"I shot her a glare at her over-dramatic response and sucked into a deep breath to calm my inside from this overwhelming feeling, "I have no idea what's wrong with me." It's like he got me under his spell and the longer I am surrounded by him, it's becoming harder and h
Last Updated : 2024-06-25
Latest chapter
Blue Ribbon 45
Alex's POVMax's shocked eyes stayed focused ahead, he didn't blink, he didn't move; a green storm raged in his gaze as he tried to think, to understand. He froze in the spot, and his chest heaved as he drank in the feedback of this new information.His fingers over my arm twitched, they shook under the impact of everything happening. My chest tightened and I could imagine how he must be feeling, so lost and uncertain. I hated this and everything about it. How wasn't I able to keep this part of our life tucked away from him?Nikolas left, he stayed far away, just so this won't happen. Just so no one would ever connect the dots and figure out which blood was surging through Max's veins. True, it wasn't my blood, but he was still mine. Mine to take care of, mine to protect, mine to help...help him get through this without it leaving a scar.I placed my other hand over his, it felt so cold now, shaking, and I squeezed, bringing him back to me as I called his name, "Max," I mumbled and his
Blue Ribbon 44
Alex's POVI rubbed an anxious hand over my jaw as I watched him sleep. I know he is okay now, he is getting better but for some reason, I can't shake this worry still. I kept my eyes over his chest, watching it rise and fall, rhythmically.With every breath he took, I released one from my lungs.He went back to sleep right after, too exhausted to keep awake and I forced Cara to take Lilly and go home. I could stay with him tonight. I could watch over him as he sleeps, I can make sure he is fine.Also, I can't be the one left with Lilly all alone. I don't know what to say to her, how to react to all of this just yet. I need time to sort through that maze of thoughts.Max tossed around relentlessly, he moved his head from one side to another before I saw his eyes glide open. I straightened myself into my seat and when he tried to sit down, I got to my feet and immediately to his side, "Is there anything you need?" I asked, my tone urgent, scared he is in pain or something.His eyes fli
Blue Ribbon 43
Next day...Cara's POVI tightened my hold over his hand, my eyes focused on his face, a small smile over my lips as I watched him sleep and waited for him to wake up. I could finally see him, I could feel him. He is finally okay.I brushed the few strands of his hair away from his forehead and inched closer, pressing a small kiss over his temple. I couldn't wait for him to wake up, for those beautiful eyes of his to look back at me. I couldn't wait for him to talk to me, tell me he is not mad at me anymore that I lied, that I hid the truth.I wanted my little boy back, the one they didn't hurt, the one not holding the weight of the truth over his shoulders. I didn't want that broken look clouding his eyes. I wanted to talk to him, to explain, to make him understand just what he meant to me.Lines creased his forehead and a low groan vibrated from his throat before his eyelids slowly glided open, he blinked tiredly before he closed them again. My heart knocked it up when he opened the
Blue Ribbon 42
Chase's POVI slammed the door shut behind me with a loud thud, the type of anger surging through my veins felt so pointless and misplaced.Why would I be angry, anyway?I rushed a hand over my face and tried to get my rage back in check. God, I am such a fool, yesterday, just yesterday I told her, assured her that we don't stand any chance and I meant it. I think I did, but here I am, feeling the urgent need to break something, to break someone due to the news I just heard.Miscarriage.Pregnant, she was pregnant. With his child."Chase?" Aylin's voice had me looking up, her eyes clashed with mine and she smiled almost instantly, "Hey," She said, coming up to my side, before she tiptoed, her arms went around my neck and she sweetly pecked my lips, "God, I missed you so much," She said with a pout.Pregnant.She was pregnant."How is Max?" She asked, fidgeting with the collar of my shirt."He is fine," I mumbled.Was she that serious with him?Was it a mistake?What the hell was it?I
Blue Ribbon 41
Lilly's POVI blinked my eyes open and winced, the bright white light from above hit my eyes and I pressed them shut again. I lifted my hand and rubbed over my temples; my head, and every nerve in my body aching with tiredness and exhaustion.I felt a hand tighten over mine and I snapped my eyes open again, my head turned to the side and my eyes fell on mom, sitting beside me, on the bed's edge.A small somber smile lifted her lips and her other hand came to my face and tucked my hair behind my ear, "Hey," She said, her voice low.Lines etched between my eyebrows and I looked around, where am I? What happe-Oh no.No.I pulled my upper body up and my gaze flickered back to her, "Mom," I mumbled, my voice breaking almost immediately.She brushed her fingers over my cheek, "How are you feeling?" She asked, looking at me with so much tenderness my heart broke. Her soft voice triggered the tears back, I tried to suppress them in, trying to grasp for control but my emotions betrayed me and
Blue Ribbon 40
Alex's POVRelief mellowed part of the concern that had clouded my senses all over the past week.I was suffocating under the waves of everything that happened since Lilly stepped into the house and called me a killer; since Max looked at me and told me I am not his dad; since that dreadful incident that almost took him away from me. But now, as the doctor talked, explained how Max is finally okay, how the surgery was successful and the danger on his health is gone; I allowed myself to breathe.But, it didn't last for too long.The second I took the first breath in, one second only and urgent fingers grabbed into my arm, so very tight, as if clinging to life itself.The air I sucked caught into my throat and I whipped my head to the owner of those little soft fingers. My eyes widened when Lilly's balance faltered, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and my arms shot forward, "Lilly!" Her name flew out of my lips in pure terror, it scratched over my throat and fisted over my heart,
Blue Ribbon 39
Next day...I promised myself that yesterday was the last day I will ever shed a tear. Last day to be weak and vulnerable. Exposed and bare.Last day to let it all out.But as I laid down now, after the operation, waiting for my recovery, with my cheek pressed up against the pillow, my eyes looking through the window, at the blue sky, at the free birds, and at what's alive.I couldn't hold back the one lone tear the silently escaped my eye.That's all. One single tear.I felt a tender hand reach for mine, I turned around, my eyes falling on the nurse, who smiled at me so warmly, "You can leave now, if you want."I nodded, and pulled myself up."Do you feel any pain?" She asked, concerned.I do. But, it's all on the inside.She helped me get up, she even helped me change the gown and wear my clothes. She took pity on me the moment I said I came alone. No one waiting me outside that door, just me, facing and correcting my mistakes on my own.And I took her help, seeking comfort from a s
Blue Ribbon 38
There is something seriously wrong with my health. So very wrong. Especially in the last two days. It's no longer just signs of being pregnant. I have a feeling it's more.The cramps tightening my stomach can't be normal. They're so painful, ever so slowly ripping at my insides. I couldn't sleep all night, not just worried about Max, like every day, but this immense pain couldn't let me close my eyes for even a mere second.This morning, I found a few blood droplets, and the sight of them had my panic rising to a whole new level. I was so scared, terrified even of what I read when I searched the internet for the signs, so the first thing I did when I got to the hospital was take a blood test and book an appointment with a gynecologist, just right before dad talked to me and got to know almost everything about Christian.Almost everything...He doesn't know about this child that's probably inside of me. I can only imagine his reaction. If he wanted to kill Christian with such a passion
Blue Ribbon 37
Lilly's POV"What do you mean you didn't find him?"The words and the furiousness that followed them had me snapping my head toward dad's direction as he talked through the phone. My heart seized and panic rushed through my chest as I understood who he must be talking about."Roman, don't make me lose my mind now," He snapped and got to his feet, he rushed a hand over his face, "I don't care...I told you...Roman, I am so gonna kill you," He threatened frustrated as he listened to whatever uncle Roman must've said. He cursed something under his breath, "He is just a fucking professor, where would he hide, huh?"Oh my god...what did I do again?He listened to whatever Roman was saying and his gaze drifted and fell on me, his gaze cautious and calculating, and I couldn't miss the flicker of blame in them, like he knows it's all my fault. I did this again. I gave him the chance to escape; I could swear dad felt it.He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, and his gaze flickered away fr
