Chapter 2: Not Allowed

Illusion.

Yes. That was it. All of that is not true. Maybe it was the product of stress and too much frustration. It can't be possible, I said to myself when I woke up on my bed the next day.

I remember everything that happened on the rooftop. What the man said and what I saw in his eyes. I also remembered how Nari came and called me. And the next second, the stranger disappeared on thin air as if he wasn't even there. Nari didn't even see him. So, I thought everything that happened was just an illusion.

Maybe Uncle's situation triggered something in my head. I got a trauma long time ago, so maybe that is the reason why hallucinations resurfaced again.

I got up despite the weight of the body. I bathed and got dressed. I'm going to the hospital to replace Nari in taking care of Uncle.

Nari is a close friend. She just forced me to go home last night to rest. I didn't agree at first, but thinking about all those strange things I saw, I thought I really needed to rest. That hallucination was too much. I didn't mention that to Nari because she might just be worried.

I went through the department store to buy cup noodles and bottled drinks. That's where I'll have breakfast at the hospital. Nari won't like instant foods, but I guess she has to deal with it.

"Thank you for coming, Ma'am. Come back again," the guard said as I passed the exit.

"You're wel—"

I didn’t finish what to say when I saw who was outside. Leaning against the pole in front of the store, folded and looking straight at me.

God.

Am I hallucinating again?

I cursed and hurried to walk. I deliberately swerved and never looked at him again. I'm starting to get scared of the things I'm seeing. Maybe I'm crazy?

I was nervous all nervous when I hailed a taxi. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the man slowly approaching. I felt the urge to run, but if I would do that, I'd just look crazier. I just had it all in mind so would I run?

"Need a ride?"

That voice. Just like last night so I know he's the same person.

I was speechless, just staring at each approaching car.

"We should continue our talk last night,” he went on, completely ignoring my silence.

I sucked on my breath. Where are the other taxis and why is everyone passing by here occupied?

"Come on. Are you still doubting if I'm real?" He chuckled.

"Damn it. I'm really going crazy," I whispered to myself.

"No, you aren't."

I sighed in relief when a taxi stopped in front of me. I went in immediately and leaned back in the chair. I closed my eyes, thinking about taking some drug that could pacify my hallucinations. I can't be like this. How could I take care of my Uncle when I'm sick?

"You will go straight to the hospital, right?"

I was shocked to hear that voice. My jaw dropped when I saw the driver's face on the rearview mirror. I feel like I’m going to lose my sanity—if that is not already happening.

I put my palm on my forehead and shook my head. Have I really lost it?

I closed my eyes again and when I looked up, I became even more troubled when I still saw the same.

"Agree to my terms and I'll save your Uncle. That's very simple, Katherine. He doesn't have much time left. I'm giving you a better option."

Don't listen to him, Jace. Don't.

"Katherine–"

"Will you please stop calling me that?" I couldn’t help myself any longer. It’s just, it really pisses me off to be called that way.

He turned to me. His stare remained at me for a while, and for Pete's sake, he was driving!

I gasped and silently recited a short prayer. I want to get rid of this illusion! This is insane and I don't think I can stand more of this. I don't know where he came from. From my subconscious, maybe?

My psychiatrist told me then that it is really possible for this to happen especially those who have experienced trauma. That reason sounds more logical than him being a sort of extraordinary being.

"Why? You prefer being called Jace? But I like your second name better. Katherine."

I threw my head back and closed my eyes tighter. I no longer knew what to do.

"You should decide soon. As I've said, your uncle doesn't have much time left–"

"Stop dragging my uncle in your bullshits!" I shouted angrily.

We were stuck in traffic. I looked outside and saw it was close to the hospital. I went out and walked straight away.

I shook my head a bit, struggling in case my brain would regulate through that. I can't lose my temper. I should be sane because Uncle needs me.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I entered the hospital. I'm going straight to Uncle's room. I found Nari there.

"Are you okay, Jace? Why do you look harassed?"

I sighed and put the things on the table.

"Uh, I'm just worried..."

"Really? Did nothing happen to you on the way here?"

I shook my head and approached Uncle. I stroked his hand and sat on the side.

"Don't worry too much, Jace. Uncle Eddie is a fighter. I'm sure he can overcome this."

I really hope so.

"Wait! What's this? Cup noodles? Oh my goodness, Jace!”

I turned to Nari.

"I don't have much time to buy the food you want. And it's better since it's cheaper."

"Fast food is better than this.” She glared at me.

I glared back. "It's also cheaper than the fast food. I’m just being frugal, Nari.”

She rolled his eyes and did nothing but put up with what I brought her. While she's preparing it, I adjusted Uncle's blanket and checked to see if the devices attached to him were organized.

"Eat well. I know you didn't eat last night and this morning. Tell me, how are you going to take care of Uncle if you get sick?" Nari raised a brow at me.

She's right. I can't be sick. So I tried to get that man out of my mind. I'm sure if I'll just ignore it, the hallucination will soon stop.

"By the way. Will you stay with your job on the ship? I remember it’s tomorrow?" Nari asked while we were eating.

I nodded. "I need extra money. Uncle has insurance but there are still a lot of expenses."

Today is the first day of the semester break and whenever there is no class, I do side hustles to help Uncle with all our bills.

He's just a regular employee in a company and he's been providing for us since day one, and it became harder now that I am left with all the responsibilities. I need to provide for our necessities, save for my tuition fee next semester, and pay our rent. More reasons to work.

"But you don't have to watch here all day. I'll be back the other day."

"Okay. Be careful."

"Thanks, Nari."

She smiled at me. I looked back at the cup noodles. I just looked up again when I heard a knock.

The door opened and I almost choked when I saw who had entered.

"Good morning, Doc!"

I looked at Nari in shock.

She can see him, too? Aren't I supposed the only one who can see him since he's just a part of my hallucination?

"Good morning. I'm here to check on the patient. Hello, Miss Sullivan."

I can't go back to eating. I looked at the strange guy. Now he is dressed in a white coat like a real doctor. He smirked at me once before going to my Uncle.

Let me stand up.

"Don't approach him!"

"Jace!" Nari scolded me and grabbed my arm. "What are you? The doctor is just checking on Uncle Eddie. I'm sorry, Doc!"

"Your friend is right. I'll just check him. Isn't that part of a doctor's job?"

"Doctor? Really?"

His eyes turned darker, lips were pursed on a thin line as if the meeting bored him.

Nari lost her hold on me. I heard a crash so I turned to Nari. I found her already lying on the floor, unconscious.

"Nari!" frantically I attended the friend. I shook her a bit but she remained unconscious.

"Don't worry. She's not dead yet."

I looked up at the man in front.

"So it's you! What did you do?!”

"I made her sleep, so she wouldn't hear our talk. It's nothing harmful."

"You..." I trailed off, can’t decide what curse I’d spit first.

I closed my eyes sharply and drew a deep breath. I leaned Nari on the sofa before facing her.

"See? Even your friend can see me. Isn't that enough proof that I'm real?"

"If you're real, who are you? What are you?"

My brain can't even fathom that he is just an illusion, how can I now think that maybe he is real? It's unbelievable!

"Obviously not a human."

Of course!

"Yes, that's clear. But what in the earth are you? Are you an angel who's here to grant people's wish?" I asked sarcastically. By the looks of it, it seems impossible.

"Angel?" he echoed, a tint of red flickered in his eyes for a second. "I'm nothing close to that, Katherine."

"In that case, why don't you just say it straight? I'm not good at guessing."

Slowly, he advanced. His precise, heavy steps echoed in the whole room.

I blinked.

Then he's in front of me.

"I am between life and death, Katherine. I don't die, but I'm not breathing either."

I felt shivers ran down my spine. I can feel his eyes like cold silver piercing through me.

Small, strange noises distracted me. I looked down and rolled my eyes. The floor... was cracking!

It cracked even more and I gasped. I don't think this is still a hallucination. I feel like it’s really real what’s happening. If he isn't real, why would Nari see him? And she was even bewitched!

But it is still unbelievable!

"Three..." he started his count down.

I got confused. "What are you doing?"

"Two..." he continued, lips twitching.

I panicked. “Why the hell are you counting?!

"One."

And the floor collapsed.

I screamed because I felt like I was going to fall somewhere. The large parts of the floor were falling along with me and I couldn't think straight anymore. What's happening? Did the whole building collapse?

I can feel myself falling down so fast as the cold wind kept on blowing.

I will die. I was sure.

I closed my eyes.

I always wonder what it feels like to face death. Scary. That’s what they say. But I didn't feel fear while I was falling down. I felt nothing.

It was cold and lonely to face death this way, but it didn't scare me. Or maybe I wasn’t scared because I thought about the possibility of losing Uncle. If he'd end up dying, I might as well die with him. I can't handle the same pain of losing a family again.

I guess dying isn't that bad, huh?

My heart pounded because I felt I was close to reaching the end of it.

I was expecting my fragile body to crash onto something hard, or to pierce onto a cold sharp metal, but none of it came.

Instead, I felt warm, ironclad arms wrapped around my body.

"You are not allowed to die, Katherine," he whispered coldly.

I slowly stared. A pair of fiery eyes greeted me. It was blazing in both light and darkness. A combination I never thought would be possible.

"You're not allowed to die until I say so..."