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Chapter 15
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2021-03-21 02:36:19Cassandra
"All that hard work I put in during nursing school, only to have to put my finger in someone's asshole," Tarra grumbles when she walks through our apartment door.
I close my City of Fallen Angels book after being sunk into the words of Cassandra Clare, and set it on my lap, laughing at her greeting. I'm not hysterically laughing, but this isn't the first time she's come home tired and complaining about something she had to endure while at work. The worst incident that I can recall, was when she came home completely traumatized by a hysterectomy. Before that, I never knew what the hell a hysterectomy was, and could've gone my whole life not knowing about the details."You know, most nurses would've usually gotten used to all of this stuff by now."Tarra sets her purse down on the wooden dining table and then plops down next to me on the couch, the white cushions sinking under her weary body. "They actRelated chapters
Blinded By The Past Chapter 16
CassandraWhen I wake up, I'm lying belly down with my arms holding a pillow against my cheek. The pillow is soft but doesn't smell like my detergent or strawberry-scented shampoo. Instead, sandalwood and a faint smell of smoke fills my nose. I open one eye when I hear a rustling noise, then turn my body around and sit up, realizing that I'm still in Drew's room. I internally groan, knowing this is going to earn some comments from my sister."Morning," Drew says groggily, taking a seat at the edge of the bed."Morning." I pull his blue and white checkered comforter up to cover my top half. My thin camisole does little to prevent the morning chill coming from the open balcony door from hitting my chest.I watch as he finishes tying his bootlaces before leaning over to kiss me. "I've got to head to work for an extra shift, but I made a pot of coffee if you want some. I'll see you later." And with that, he leaves. Almost immediately after hi
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 17
Crayvin"Fucking hell," I groan, grabbing a fistful of long blonde hair and winding it between my fingers as I finish in her mouth.I stare at the ceiling, exhaling as I come down from the euphoric state that the blonde has put me in after giving me head. Kelley, I think her name was? The girl I met last night at Jax's Bar looks up from her knees, gives me one more smirk, then wipes her lips. Normally after I get what I need from women, I give them some coffee or water and send them on their way with an Uber, but this blonde was persistent and wanted to make me cum one more time before she left.And who am I to refuse that?I didn't even really feel up to going to Jax's last night, but after Drew said he was having Cassandra come over, I dipped out faster than possible. Kelley just so happened to be clinging to my arm and I had nothing better to do, so why not bury myself into a cute blonde?The blonde drinks her coffee while waiting
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 18
CrayvinAfter I park my truck in the gravel parking lot of Drew and Cassandra's complex, I turn off the engine and sit for a few minutes in silence. My mind is running all over the place, pondering over whether this may or may not be the worst decision I've made thus far.Am I really about to go inside Cassandra's apartment to eat and hang out? We're not friends and she's not just any woman, after all. Maybe that's why this is so difficult, trying to get along with her. She may be my best friend's girl, but we have a history. One, might I add, that I'm not particularly proud of.I need to show her that I'm not that guy anymore so we can try to get along with one another, at least for Drew's sake, and our job.Grabbing the bottle of wine that I bought for Cassandra and her sister, a peace offering if you will, I hop out of my truck and make my way to her apartment.Drew had texted me while I was at the market saying that he was alread
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 19
Cassandra"Good morning, Bernie," I greet his familiar face as I walk up to the front window of the department. Bernie lights up and smiles, revealing that front chipped tooth."Good morning, Miss Cassandra. Boy, you sure do have your hands full," he says, looking at the drinks in my hand. I have my green smoothie in one hand and three coffees and an iced tea placed in a cup holder in the other. "Let me help you with the door."Bernie pushes the buzzer and gets out of his seat to open the security door for me to enter. "Thanks, Bernie. The iced tea is obviously for you if you can grab it," I say, pointing with my eyes to the drinks."Thank you kindly. You guys have a meeting today I hear."I nod. "Sure do. Hey, has Crayvin come in yet?"Bernie looks puzzled as he nods slowly. "Yes, he came in about fifteen minutes ago. Should I be worried?" He asks, pointing to the one coffee cup that says 'I'm Sorry' on it. I wrote it w
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 20
Cassandra"You've got to be kidding me," I groan to myself in the bathroom stall.Once again, the janitor forgot to restock the toilet paper in the women's bathroom. It shouldn't come as a surprise, being that I'm the only female officer here. When I first used this restroom, there were cobwebs everywhere and the space was basically just used as storage.As if this morning couldn't get any lovelier, I look down and realize my period has started. I tilt my head back and roll my eyes, annoyed at the world today. "Seriously?"I pull my phone out, wanting so badly to avoid doing this. At this point, I have no other choice.Me: Babe, I truly hate to ask you of this, but could you please go into my purse and get me a tampon and also, a roll of toilet paper. Janitor forgot. AGAIN. *eye roll emoji*Drew: *shocked emoji face* Uhm, yeah. I can do that right now.I sigh and put my phone away, waiting awkwardly for Drew to come
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 21
Crayvin"I'm just surprised that of all people to plan a night out, you and Cassandra did. No drama like last time right?" Drew asks over the phone.He's not wrong. The last time we all tried to hang out, the evening ended badly. I have more hope this time around. For the first time today, I actually had a good day at work with her. She wasn't a nuisance like she normally is. In fact, she made me laugh, but I'm still wondering what the hell a douche canoe is.She was in a good mood all day, minus the part when we got asked to do a police escort for a funeral tomorrow. They aren't all that bad. Funerals are always sad, no matter what, but after you've done a couple of escorts, you learn to ignore the knot in your stomach at the sight of all the crying family members. The worst one for me was when Miles had asked me to go along with Bobby for the funeral escort for Officer Porsse, Cassandra's father."I think it will be fine this time. I'll
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 22
Cassandra"Dinner is ready, Cassandra. I also bought your favorite dessert," my dad says with a wary smile when I walk through the front door. His hands gesture to the eggplant parmesan dinner that is plated on the dining table and a cheesecake in the middle. Tarra sits with her hands folded on her lap, her hazel eyes staring blankly at the wall.I set down my bag on the couch, which is heavy from the books I checked out from the library. I wash my hands and join my father and sister at the table. Even as we sit down, I can feel the tension in the air. It's so thick that it is practically sucking all of the oxygen out of the room.I pick up my fork, the smell of my favorite foods seep into my nostrils, which twists my stomach into an agonizing knot. A mixture of hunger arises along with bile that is threatening to come out if I eat this high-calorie meal. I set my fork down, sighing as I roll up my sleeves. I've b
Last Updated : 2021-03-21Blinded By The Past Chapter 23
Crayvin"I swear it's not poisonous," I whisper in Cassandra's ear.I sit in the middle of Patricia and Cassandra at the wet bar. Drew has been stuffing his face, as usual, and Patricia has just finished her slice of cheesecake. As for Cassandra, I've watched her move the same bite of cheesecake that is on her fork, around her plate several times, and has yet to pick it up and eat it.She looks up, her doe eyes almost sad looking. "Oh, I know. I'm just sort of full from the steak.""I swear you eat like a bird. Well, at least take a slice home then. Maybe one for Tarra, too. You guys can eat it tonight," I suggest.She looks down at her plate and shrugs, "I guess I can bring some home. It's not good to eat so late though."I bring my hand up and rub my chin and tease, "Hmm, if we're not meant to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge I wonder?" She looks up at me again and gives me a knowing look. "I was j
Last Updated : 2021-03-21
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Blinded By The Past Chapter 75
CassandraThe last time I sat in a therapist's lobby for the first time, I was full of disbelief, destruction, doubt, and anger. My father brought me to Dr. Loraine, so I felt forced, trapped almost. Now, I see how therapy truly works if you open yourself up to it.One year since my last therapy session with Loraine, I sit in another therapist's lobby office. While again I am here not out of personal choice, my perspective is to just finish this so that I can go back on duty."Cassandra Porsse?" I rise from the chair I had been sitting in for almost twenty minutes when a tall woman calls me."That's me," I admit nervously.With a small, genuine smile, the woman tucks a piece of her toffee blonde hair that fell from her messy bun behind her ear and extends her hand. Her clothes are sleek and professional. A huge contrast to the colorful Lorraine, she wears a black conservative two-piece suit. The skirt is knee-
Blinded By The Past Chapter 74
CassandraFat ass. Short ass. Miss Piggy. Ugly piece of lard. Fat piece of shit. Oompa Loompa.These are only some of the names my peers would call me at school. Though now homeschooled, even the distance from my tormentors wasn't enough to ease all of the damage. While leaving was some relief, the memory of how I was treated also left with me like mental scars.I hate that place. I hated it so much that I nearly made Tarra late every morning as I dragged my feet every step. Up to the point before I left, I'm surprised she didn't place Dad's cuffs around my wrists to force my ass there. But she knows why I hate it. The constant bullying, the ear-deafening cackles, skinny bitches, and asshole guys are everyday torture that I succumbed to.My weakness, my attachment to the hateful comments and treatment, is what brought me here, to Loraine's office. Last night, Tarra and Dad dropped the bomb on me tha
Blinded By The Past Chapter 73
CassandraI remember when my Dad would watch UFC fights and the loud sound of fists hitting faces and crunching bones would make me cringe.None of those fights compared to the sound Tarra made when her palm connected with Drew's cheek. The echo practically radiates through our apartment and I am eternally grateful it didn't cause Crayvin -who is still tending to the burning sauce- to come running out.Tarra's fiery gaze was enough to make me want to bunker down and cower, and I wasn't even the one on the receiving end of that glare."In case that slap across your face didn't knock some sense into your dense, Marshmallow ass, I'll repeat myself. What the fuck do you want?" Tarra spits.Drew releases a tear as he brings the palm of his hand over his now reddened cheek.Pretty sure the tear isn't from the slap though."I deserved that but look, I don't want to fight. I was hoping to have a word with Cassandra," he says and th
Blinded By The Past Chapter 72
CassandraDeath is on its own clock and I could have sworn I heard the ticking stop when the bullet struck me. I will not forget the feeling of leaving everything and everyone I love. Scared shitless, I remember frantically pulling at the hem of Crayvin's shirt as I continued to bleed out, begging for him to save me. The look he gave me still shatters me to my very core, the look that reminds me of how my near-death experience nearly broke the man that I love.Though, if given the chance to save his life, I would do it all over again.When my sister rushes to the hospital, a strong sense of guilt hits me like a tidal wave when she smacks my arm after smothering me in hugs and tears. "You sissy swore we would always be there for one another. How the fuck did you expect to stand by that promise by jumping in front of a bullet? Never. Never do that to me again, Cassandra Juliet Porsse," she demands.Tarra is eerily quiet as I am finally leav
Blinded By The Past Chapter 71
CrayvinAs a police officer, I've seen a lot of shit in the past four years. I've seen the worst in some people, a lot of bad accidents and circumstances, pure evil monstrosities where bodies were involved in a pool of blood. While some days are harder than others, four years on the force hardened me against the harsh realities, like an emotional set of armor.All those years of hardened resolve were shattered the instant two bullets pierced through the body of the woman I love.My mind is going crazy from what little sleep I don't get. A recurring nightmare makes me feel as if I am stuck on a carousel, going round and round on the highest frequency. The same dream resurfaces when I close my eyes; it's never-ending. Each time the carousel circles, I see red... blotches and blotches of red.The same red that had stained Cassandra's white top when she was shot. The same blood red that coated my hands.When we get to the hospital, Cassa
Blinded By The Past Chapter 70
Tarra"Tarra, come here my love so I can get a good look at you," my mother says in an unrecognizably brittle voice, crooking her pale finger at me and motioning for me to approach.I look at my father, who gives me a weak smile and an encouraging nod. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, smelling the sterile, nearly choking environment of my mother's confined hospital room, I rise from my chair and shuffle small strides to stand by her side. Cassandra, her eyes glossy and red, kisses Mom on the cheek, then walks away. She takes my previous seat next to Dad, burying her head into him."Mom," I croak at her bedside. "Are you going to get better?"I stare at my mother's small body and dark eyes. Her beautiful features resemble my little sister so much that the comparison hurts to acknowledge.Our mother was always beautiful, full of laughter and light. Looking at her now, I don't recognize her. Wher
Blinded By The Past Chapter 69
CassandraHave you ever wanted something so badly in your life, that when you finally get it, it's taken from you just as fast? Leaving your heart completely and utterly broken. You were happy one moment, and then fucking destroyed and shattered the next.Well, me too. That's exactly how I feel now. Finally landing the guy that I have always wanted, just to lose him the second I do.Two shots were fired and there was no taking them back. Once the two bullets were released from the barrel, they had to go somewhere, right?It was like the world decided I looked too happy and in one moment the reason for my happiness was removed from my life."Crayvin!" I shriek.I drop to my knees, hitting the gravel parking lot. My pants are immediately pebbled with debris and dirt. My eyes quickly avert to Drew who charges towards Stormy. He yanks the gun from her grasp and takes her to the ground, holding her wrists behind he
Blinded By The Past Chapter 68
Cassandra"Tarra!" I call out, scrunching my nose. "Mommy and Daddy are kissing again!" I whine, deliberately forcing myself to look into the contents of my cereal bowl, rather than my disgusting, groping parents.Tarra giggles as she joins us at the table, excitement in her eyes. "I can't wait to be in love," she coos.I stick my tongue out. "Eww, gross. Boys are nasty.""You say that now because you're only ten. Wait until you grow up, you will have a whole different outlook," Tarra argues.I shake my head, dismissing that thought, because... no. All the boys in my school are gross. I have seen some pick their nose and eat their boogies, scratch their booties while at recess, and the other ones are mean. They never leave me alone. My mother and sister say it's because they have a crush on me since they act like that, but I beg to differ.If you like someone, why would you be m
Blinded By The Past Chapter 67
CrayvinWhen I manage to drag myself off of the pavement and into my house, Piggy is sitting in the foyer with droopy, sad eyes. A rush of guilt hits me like a damned truck, causing me to not be able to see clearly. A sea of thoughts floods my mind.I want approval.Acceptance.Forgiveness.I want her to see that I can, in fact, be a good guy. I don't want her to think I am some kind of monster that she has to starve herself to be with."I don't deserve you in any way, do I?" I say quietly more to myself than anything.I rake my hands through my hair, exhaling as I avert my stare to the floor.What the fuck is wrong with me?I bury myself into willing women's bodies who let me fuck my cares away. Any trauma or shit that I see at work, is gone and replaced by unchained pleasure. Uncommitted fun, no loyalties.But, then I look at Cassandra, and it's like someone releases the chains around my heart. I want to er
