Ruined 27

Avery

He was avoiding me.

Not ignoring me but definitely avoiding. He kissed my cheek anytime we were in the same room, which wasn’t very often. He was polite but he couldn’t hide the distance in his eyes when he looked at me.

He was gone. I could tell. Whatever he had seen in that room or thought he had seen had changed the way he felt. And it stung. It stung so much it was like a knife carving out my heart. But I couldn’t blame him. 

Me having a crazy psychotic ex-husband hadn’t been what he had signed up for. As long as he was there for Parker that’s all that mattered.

Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself as the days passed. 

It was worse somehow this awkward politeness between us than anything else I had been through.  And then there are the club girls. Girls who I knew I shouldn’t be jealous of that hung off his every word and touched him every chance they got. I hadn’t seen him get freaky with anyone but I wasn’t stupid. I had grown up here so I knew how things worked. It wasn’t like he was sharing my bed. So it stood to reason he was sharing someones or maybe several someones. 

Either way, my time at the clubhouse was over. It was time to move on. To get on with our lives and heal. 

Me and Parker, the only boy I would ever need. We would count on each other. Just like we always had.

“Throw it in the back.” I grinned at my son from my place perched on the corner of the bed. My fingers clutching the bedspread. Why was it so hard to leave? It wasn’t even like this was a decent room. It wasn’t my room and yet I didn’t want to leave. Leaving the clubhouse would mean leaving Ruin. For good this time.

“He’s a good kid.” 

“He is.” I smiled up at Truth but instead of grinning back down at me like he always did, his handsome face twisted into a frown.  “I heard you were leaving.”

“Yeah.” I threw a pair of socks towards my open case. “It’s time.”

“You’re not going Cutters are you?” He didn’t wait for me to finish. “Have you told Ruin?”

“He’s been busy.” The bitterness in my voice was palpable. And it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“So you are planning on leaving and not telling him… again?” 

I ignored him, gathering up the case I had been hastily throwing clothes in I pushed passed him. Heading down the stairs and towards the front door.  

There were people here I wanted to say goodbye too. People who had been kind to me and Parker and some that deserved to know where I was going because I had known them a long time.

“He would never be that busy Avery, not ever.” Truth came to a stop so suddenly that he almost walked straight into me.

I barely noticed. “Want to bet.” For a heartbeat, I closed my eyes against the sight of Ruin. His broad frame leaning close to one of the club girls as she whispered something in his ear. 

“Avery.” Truths voice was small but Ruins head snapped around. His blue eyes meeting mine for just a second. “Let him explain…”

“No need,” I shrugged it off. It wasn’t like there was anything real between me and Ruin. We didn’t have a future. All we had was history. “He’s busy.  It was nice meeting your Truth.” I couldn’t stand to be here any longer. 

Not with Ruin in the same building. 

The sooner I was on the road the better. 

Time to move on and not look back.

There was just one more person I needed to say goodbye to first.

***

“Going somewhere?”

I came to a halt at the top step of my father's house. “Yeah.” Glancing behind me, I watched as my dad ushered Parker back into the house. Parker giving me a goofy thumbs up before disappearing back into the living room.

Traitors.

“Yeah.” Slowly I made my way down to him. A smile plastered to my face. The last thing I had expected was to find Ruin here, leaning against my car like he owned it. 

“You didn’t think saying goodbye was a good idea before you moved back to your dads?”

My dad’s? Was that what he thought I was doing?

“Excuse me.” Reaching around him I tugged at the back door. I needed my charger and it was in my case on the back seat. 

“No.”

“Damnit Ruin, move I….” 

His hand, came down hard on my arm, as he caught sight of the cases on the back seat. All of my cases, not just the one I had at the clubhouse. 

“You’re leaving aren’t you, properly leaving? And you weren’t even going to tell me?” Ruins grip increased but he didn’t pull me towards him. “What about Parker?”

Jesus, it hurt.

 Not that he had asked about Parker first but because he hadn’t asked about us.

There was no us, I reminded myself. Just like there hadn’t been an us the first time around. 

“You have my number Ruin, you know I would never stop you seeing….”

“And what about you? Do I get to see you as well? Or do I have to do another thirteen years knowing you are sharing your life with someone else and not me?” His voice broke, startled I glanced up at him. And his hand came to cup my cheek. “What?”

“You’re fucking killing me, Avery.”

“I didn’t think you …” I shook my head. “ I didn’t think you liked me after what had happened.”

“I don’t like you, Avery. I am in love with you. I have been I think since the moment I  first laid eye on you. I just wanted to give you space, I didn’t want to rush you or push you into anything. And here you are again? Trying to ghost me.” His forehead bumped into mine, as he leant down. But I could still feel his eyes on me. 

“You can’t even touch me Ruin.”

“Touch you? Is that why you think I haven’t crawled into your bed the last week? Fuck Avery. All I want to do is touch you. But I didn’t know if you were ready to be touched.”

It hit me then. Hit me like a sledgehammer. “You think I was raped?”

Pain flitted across his face. He didn’t need to answer.

“Dean never touched me Ruin.”

His head shot up with so much force I heard his neck crack. “He didn’t?”

“No, you… got there in time don’t worry.”

“So I’ve been keeping my hands to myself this whole time for nothing?”

I giggled I couldn’t help it. “Looks that way.”

“Hmmm.” He pursed his lips. His eyes darting towards the house. “Do you think your dad would watch Parker for a few hours?”

“I am not running off to have a quickie with you Ruin.” I slapped at his shoulder, a move I instantly regretted. My palm stung. 

“Stop hurting yourself, Avery.” Softly he kissed the skin of my palm, his eyes never leaving mine. “I am not talking about a quickie Avery. I want to show you our home.”

“Our home?” I parroted back. 

“Well it’s my home but you and Parker can live there until you are ready for me to move in.”

“Move in?” I sounded like an idiot. 

“Yes Avery, move in.” He shook his head and this time when his head dropped his lips didn’t just hover over mine. My hand went up to tangle in his hair automatically. 

“You want me to move in because I wasn’t raped?” 

“No Avery I want you to move into my house because I have been in love with you for thirteen years. And I can’t imagine my life without you and Parker in it.”

His lips were unbelievably soft as they brushed against mine.

“Stay with me, Avery. Stay so we can be the family we should have been from the beginning. Stay with me and let me love you how you deserve to be loved..” his lips left mine as he stepped away. “Be mine?”

“Because I am your baby momma?”

Exasperated he groaned. “No, because I fucking love you and want you to be my wife.”

I took a stumbling step back, my hand to my throat. “Your what?”

“Wife Avery, I want you to be my wife one day. The sooner the better. We have wasted so much time already. But I get that you might want some time. So, for now, I will be happy if you will move into my house and be my old lady. I want the world to know you belong to me.”

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Tears made my vision blurry. “Baby don’t cry, I’m sorry ok? I didn’t mean to rush you just don’t cry.” The pad of his thumb swiped across my cheek, capturing the tears that were falling freely.

How could I explain to him that they were happy tears when I couldn’t even speak. 

“Ok.” It came out croaky, clearing my throat I tried again. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Ruins eyes grew wide as they searched my face. The start of a smile curving up the corners of his kissable lips. “To what part?”

Reaching up I pressed my lips to his. “All of it.”