Billy's been back a few weeks now and we've fallen into a regular routine of one of us pretending to be out so we can sleep over in each other's room.
Laura's still secretly doing whatever with The Four and my mum and William have eased up on the loud displays during the night. In fact everything seems to have reached some sense of normality, or at least consistency.
I can't say I'm disappointed that Billy's decided against the army, a week felt long enough to be away from him, let alone months at a time, and that's the moment I realise I'm thinking about him in a long term way, not only that but in a long term relationship manner and I'm not sure that's even feasible, let alone what I want?
I feel like I need to talk to him about this, but the sooner I talk to him, the sooner I need to address this issu
Elsie fell asleep quite quickly in my arms, the redness on her cheek has faded so you wouldn't even know it was there. But my rage is teetering on the surface, she was hurt and I'm almost positive it was her mum that hurt her, I just don't know why.I don't even know how to find out without revealing that I was here and that I care so much, which is making me even more angry and although I think I may have fallen asleep for a few hours, I'm wide awake now and it's still dark."Morning." She turns towards me when she finally wakes up, stretching and yawning, then smiling at me, as though she hasn't got a care in the world.She presses her lips to mine, pushing on my shoulder so I lie down and she can roll on top of me."Good morning." I grin, my mood lifting considerably
Billy and I seem to have gotten into a nice little routine when it comes to sleeping together, as in actually sleeping, we don't even have to pretend we're not in the same house anymore, we just wait for my mum and William to go to bed and then one of us sneaks across the hallway, making sure to lock the bedroom door so we don't get walked in on while asleep.I've not yet worked out what to tell my mum about the camping trip yet, but I've got to do it today since we're meant to be leaving tomorrow.In the end I get Billy to drop me at Laura's so I can ask her for any ideas."Why don't you say we're going together? I could tell my parents the same and go stay in a hotel for the week." She blushes and I'm fairly sure she's got plans of her own forming in her mind that involve The Four.
The camping trip was brilliant, even though in typical English weather style it rained for most of the week.I was a little suspicious about why Elsie's friend's brother Dane really wanted to come, but as soon as they got there he spent the entire time flirting rather not so subtly with Jenny and since she ended up sleeping in a tent with him and driving home in his car, I'm pretty sure it went well.It's been lovely being able to be with Elsie out in the open for so long and I can't wait until she's left for university so we can be open about it the whole time, but I'm also starting to wonder what the big deal is with telling our parents. Now we know we're serious about one another, that is.I'm fairly sure my dad will be pissed, but he won't overreact like I thought he would originally.
If I thought my mum was angry when she saw us together in the room, it was nothing compared to the unrestrained fury on her face when we walk into the room hand in hand."You." She snarls, pointing her finger in Billy's face. "I warned you not to touch her.Do you have no conscience at all, using my own daughter to try to get me to split up with your father, and you..." She spins around, dropping her hand but glaring at me. "I warned you about what he was up to, he doesn't even like you. Are you really that desperate that you gave it up to the first boy who showed you any interest?""Hey." Billy shouts, pulling me into his side at the exact same time as his Dad steps forward, putting his hands on her shoulders."Let's all sit, calm down and have an adult discussion, shall we?" He says, guiding my mum to the sofa.
Elsie runs a lot. She gets up at the crack of dawn and goes out for hours. She thinks I don't know, but I feel her get up, I don't know what to do to help, so I make her breakfast and then wait for her to come back."Morning." She grins when she comes back in, which is why I don't fight it. She always looks so much happier after she's been running."Morning, your breakfast await my dear." I bow and stretch my arms wide, gesturing to the table which I've laid for the two of us.The whore is refusing to be in the same room as us in the hope it'll make Elsie feel guilty enough to end it with me, which I think is why she's running as much as she is. She's also forgetting to eat, which is another reason I'm making her breakfast every day."Apple or orange?" She asks, peering
I wake up in the hospital and very quickly a sense of dread settles in my stomach when I realise where I am and what happened. I went too far! Stupid! I know my limits, I shouldn't have pushed myself so far! "Oh baby, you're awake." My mother stands up, fussing around me like she hasn't ignored my existence for the last week. "As soon as the doctor says it's ok, I'm going to take you home, ok? Mummy's here and she'll look after you." "Where's Billy? Does he know I'm here?" I try to sit up, but my mum presses on my stomach, keeping me in place. "He was flirting with the nurses, arranging to see them after their shifts, so I told him to go home." She says, looking at her hands as she smoothes the blanket over me.
Laura and I grabbed a drink and some chips in the cafeteria, then took it in turns to go to the window overlooking the car park and check whether the Whore's car was still there. It was dark before Laura came back, telling me the spot was empty and we made our way back down to Elsie's room. The nurse glances our way, opened her mouth but then shut it again, glancing around the room and then gesturing at us to carry on. The relief I felt upon seeing her awake and sitting up in her bed, quickly vanished when the brief look of elation she always has when seeing me, disappeared into a mask of sadness. "Els, what's going on? What've they said? You're ok aren't you?" I must have flown to her side, because I'm holding her hand trying to lace my fingers with hers but she's p
My mum and William came to pick me up earlier, there was a tense atmosphere between them which they seemed to want to avoid by both of them talking to me, asking how I was. They wouldn't stop, asking the same questions over and over again, it was obvious it wasn't because they really wanted to know, they just needed to fill the uncomfortable silence between them, so I told them I was tired and pretended to fall asleep in the back of the car. "She looks awful Carly, really thin." William says in a hushed voice. "And I suppose that's my fault too, is it?" She snaps back at him. "Billy says she's been stressed and this is how she deals with it? It's written all over her face, even when she's asleep, look at her Carly." He pauses and sighs. "I wasn't happy with the idea of them being together either, but
Billy and I stand on the porch, waving goodbye to our daughter and her husband, our three beautiful grandchildren fast asleep already in the back of their car. He takes my hand once they're out of sight and guides me to the back garden, sitting together on the swinging chair he forced me to love when he bought it five years ago. It wasn't a hard sell, anything that let me snuggle close to him was welcome in our home, because despite my mother's warning, after nearly fifty years of marriage and four beautiful but feral children, there hasn't been a single day where I doubted that he was the only man I could ever want. As if sensing my thoughts, he turns to me and kisses me and just like every time our lips meet, I'm eighteen again, butterflies erupting in my stomach as I kiss the love of my life, but now it's even
After the shitstorm that went down at my dad's I'm ready to climb into bed and leave the whole day behind, but the Whore - yes, after what she said we're back to that name - has made Elsie, my beautiful wife, doubt herself and I can't let that fester. As if my girl could be anything like that nasty bitch.It's gone midnight by the time we climb into bed and the house is surprisingly quiet, a quick text to Luke lets me know they've all gone to some late night film and won't be back for a few hours yet which works out perfectly, because I'm going to take my time making love to my wife, hitting all the new spots I found on her in Vegas and reminding her why she won't ever consider going anywhere else.~*~We didn't bother turning any lights on when we came in last night, just went straight t
We creep into our room at around three in the morning, exhausted and greasy from a long, warm flight, so we both quickly shower and fall into bed. "And where the fuck have you two been all week?" I bolt upright at the sound of someone's voice so close to the bed. "Fuck off Luke, I'm too tired." Billy groans, rolling over and clamping his pillow onto his head. "You don't call, you don't write. How do you expect us to react? We were so worried." Shane adds, grinning from ear to ear as he shakes Billy by the shoulder. "Are you naked? Together?" Luke wags his finger at the both of us. "I hope you haven't been having intercourse under my roof. I knew it was a mistake letting the two of you share a room. I told you Shane, but you said we could trust them."
The first thing I notice when I wake up is the silver ring on my finger, the blue diamonds reflecting light across the ceiling as I move it side to side with my thumb.Elsie is still sleeping like a baby beside me, so I carefully slip out of bed into the living room area, dialing the number for room service and quietly ordering us both breakfast. Opening the door slightly and waiting patiently for it to arrive so the knocking doesn't wake her up.I want to be the one who wakes her this morning.The guy looks surprised when I pull the door open before he's even reached it, I'd heard his footsteps and whistling coming down the corridor from the moment he got off the lift.Thanking him, I take the tray and make my way to the bedroom, sliding it on the bedside ta
We're on a plane to Las Vegas to go and get married. This might be the most spontaneous thing in my entire life so far, or even in the future, because seriously, what's more spontaneous than hopping on an eleven hour flight to get married after one brief conversation?Am I making a mistake?I'm eighteen, I've not even been legally an adult for a full year yet. I should be freaking out, I should be having major second thoughts especially now enough time has passed that we're no longer caught up in whatever romantic moment we were having, but I can feel Billy's hand holding mine as he dozes beside me and I can't bring myself to feel anything but excitement about tying myself to him for the rest of my life, so I guess the answer is a resounding no. No way, this is going to be wonderful!
Elsie's quiet all the way to my Grandmother's house, which is where my mum decided we should meet so she can make us a proper home cooked meal. I'm so excited to show Elsie off, I know if my mum can get past the fact that she's Carly's daughter, she'll realise they're nothing alike and will really like her. My grandmother will adore her anyway, since she never liked my dad and I know she's glad he and my mum have split up. "You ok?" I ask Elsie for what feels like the fifth time during the journey to my grandmother's. "Yeah, just nervous." She gives me a weak smile, so I squeeze her hand in the hopes it will reassure her a little. My mum greets us at the door, a big smile appears on her face when she sees me. "My boy." She pulls me into a hug, then pushes me back and hits me around the back of the head. "How could you move away without telling your mother? I don't even know what university you've chosen." She hits me again, then turns to walk into the house, tugging me behind her
This week has been a rollercoaster to say the least.I know they're Billy's friends, but I'm not sure I'll ever feel really comfortable with Luke Thomas and Shane Woodson. Even after seeing the way they dote on the tiny terror that is Shane's niece.I think I'm the only one though, because Jenny, one of Aurora's friends, has woken me up three times already this week screaming at Luke for waking her up with his singing and even Priya, Jenny's sister and the quietest girl I've ever met other than Laura, seems perfectly comfortable hanging out with them.Aside from the slight nerves around two of my new housemates, it feels like being on holiday.We spend the week swimming, watching films and exploring the area. The sun hasn't stopped shining and it peers thro
I fucking hate moving house! Somehow in the brief few months we've lived in the rental we've managed to accumulate enough crap for an entire moving van plus filling the back of my car. How? We're not even taking most of the furniture! The beds, sofa and fridge freezer are all part of the rental so they're staying here. I don't really even know what's filling all the boxes, but Elsie and I have spent the week popping back to my dad's whenever they're not home so we can pick up the rest of our stuff and add in the stuff we've bought since moving in together, well, it's taken half the day just to fill the vehicles. It's only been that quick because we spent our evenings boxing up everything except the things we use daily. "I'm really going to miss this place." Elsie says, leaning into my side to try to hide the fact that she's crying. "Come on, wait until you get to the new place. It's going to be amazing." I make sure my smile is huge and reassuring, but secretly, I'm already missi
Apparently there are things that happen during your life that can make you re-evaluate everything you've ever done and from the moment Billy tells me my mum has tried to kill herself, my mind has replayed every cruel thing I've ever said or done to her, especially recently.I might not have been the pretty, outgoing, fashionable daughter that she really wanted, but I worked hard at school, kept my room tidy, I didn't go out to parties or take drugs, she never had to worry that I wouldn't come home or would be in a dangerous situation.I figured if I couldn't be the daughter she wanted, I could at least try to make her happy and proud of me. I was a good girl.Liar!Immediately the memory of the night I lost my virginity is thrown into