Two and a half years agoBianca Saunders strode toward me with anger flashing in her eyes. I froze in my seat, quickly forgetting the memo I was typing. She should have looked demure in her dress suit, gold flowers shining out happily from a field of silver, but instead, she just looked like an angry bee. I hoped I wasn't the one about to be stung."Jack needs a new bodyguard." She threw a newspaper at my chest as she stomped across my office and into the executive lounge, heading toward the coffee pot. She tottered on her golden heels, shaking in her rage and splashing coffee across the counter. Some of the dark liquid spilled on her jacket, and she cursed under her breath as she grabbed a napkin and began dabbing at the silver and gold embroidery.I fumbled with the newspaper and groaned slightly when I saw the headline. Billionaire's Bodyguard Assaults Photographer blazed out in bold letters across the heading of the page. In a blurry black and white photo, Jack looked on in horror
June 6th, 1990I woke up nestled on Dean's arm, using it as a pillow. We were still in more or less the same spot that we had had sex in a few hours before. He was snoring softly, which was really cute. I looked at my watch and found that it was still really early. My head was swimming a little bit and I really had to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to wake Dean, so I tried to sneak out of the bed. However, my hair must have tickled his arm, because his arm shot out and grabbed mine. He took me by surprise, and I squealed a little bit. He laughed."Where do you think you're going? We're supposed to go surfing," he said, obviously still half asleep. He blinked, then let go of my arm. His eyes focused, and he looked me up and down. I blushed. The sun's light was much more illuminating than the moon's, and I realized that he was drinking in his first clear sight of my naked body. This man was a stranger, and suddenly I felt extremely self conscious. I pulled the sheet from the bed up t
June 6th, 1990"Okay, now this time I'm going to just give you a little push on the back of the surfboard. Center yourself and get ready."We were out in the ocean. Dean was taking the time to show me how to surf and it was not going well. As he gave my surfboard a little tap, I found myself staying up on the surfboard for about a half second before crashing into the water again. Oh well, I thought. At least my top is still on.I came to the surface, sputtering once again. Dean grabbed my hand, steadying me before going after the surfboard. He grabbed it and brought it back to me."Quick, get back on the board, I can see a great swell coming," he said, obviously excited."You take it." I unlatched the surfboard from my ankle and handed him the strap. Dean had seemed excited about surfing, yet he hadn't even gotten on the board yet."Please, just ride this wave. Then you can watch me surf for the rest of the afternoon," he said, pushing the strap away.I laughed. "Okay." I laid on my s
Two and a half years agoI alternated between staring at the heavy wooden doors and glaring at my watch. A notepad with a new pen sat waiting at my fingertips, but I wasn't even tempted to doodle. Dean Sherman had my complete and utter attention, and he wasn't even in the room yet.What would I say to him? Hi, Dean. I sent you a letter every day for a month, but I never got one from you. That sounded too harsh. Especially since I knew he had never gotten a single one of my letters. I had sent them out religiously once I moved to New York to work for the Saunders family, but after a month of no replies, the postman had handed me a stack of unopened letters. Something in the address Dean had given me had made them undeliverable.You could have just told me you weren't interested. Instead I waited for you. I asked my landlord to forward all my mail, but I never got anything. Not even a postcard! No, that wasn't fair either. It was very possible that my landlord just was lazy and threw ou
June 7th, 1990The sky was just beginning to glow with the promise of morning when I felt Dean slip out of bed. He padded quietly on the floor, picking up his clothes and dressing. I peeked one eye open to watch him wriggle into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, admiring the view. It was worth it to wake up a little to see his body move. His blue eyes caught me peeking and he came over and sat on the edge of the bed."Go back to sleep," he whispered, leaning over to kiss my forehead. His lips were warm and soft, so soft that I never wanted them to leave."Where are you going?" Sleep made my voice creak like an old door. Dean brushed the hair off my forehead, smiling down at me. He looked like an angel in the morning light."Boy things today. Remember?" Dean's blue eyes twinkled with excitement. I nodded slowly, remembering that he had said something about going out with Matt and Tony today."Have fun. When will you be back?" I asked, sitting up slightly."Late afternoon." He kissed me ag
June 7th, 1990The boardwalk creaked under our feet as we made our way along the sandy planks. Small local shops had their doors open to let in the warm ocean air and passing customers. The smell of hotdogs and popcorn drifted by, and music played softly from the inside the shops."I'm starving. You want something to eat? My treat." Dean let go of my hand, eyeing the food stand."Sure. I'll take a hotdog. Thanks!" I flashed him a big grin as he hurried over to the line. I was about to follow him, but something caught my eye.On the edge of the boardwalk, facing out toward the ocean, a street vendor was selling his paintings. They were amazing. The seascapes caught my attention, particularly one of a storm about to roll in. A woman stood silhouetted in the foreground, tiny against the powerful thunderclouds and swelling waves. I could feel the surge of the water, the light fading quickly into the clouds as the storm threatened to overcome her. Despite the storm, she stood strong and re
June 8th, 1990When I woke up in bed again with Dean, it was the first time that I didn't feel like things were perfect. This was the last day that I would spend with Dean, and I knew that none of us girls were ready to say goodbye. If there was ever a time when I felt at home, it was here in Florida, with my two best friends and the three guys that made us happier than we had ever been.Still, when he rolled over and smiled at me, I couldn't help but grin back. "Hey," I said."Hey, Beautiful," he said. He looked completely at peace.I turned on my side to face him. The sheet was down around my waist, and my breasts were exposed in front of him, but it seemed like it had been forever ago that I had any modesty around him. "What do you have planned for today?"He shrugged. "I was hoping I could hang out with my girl," he said with a grin.I beamed. My girl. The words sounded perfect coming out of his mouth."Well, yeah, but what are you going to do with your girl?" I asked, putting the
June 8, 1990- EveningAt some point when it started to get dark, Tony and Kim sneaked away and started a small fire down on the beach while the rest of us were on the volleyball court. Tony put some hamburgers on the grill that his aunt kept in the garage, and by the time we were done with the last volleyball game, he had paper plates full of food for us to eat. We opened a bag of potato chips. Tony removed the grill from the fire and began to throw more and more fuel into it, quickly turning it into a bonfire. We cracked open some beers and all began to eat. None of us spoke much, busy eating and simply enjoying the good company.I sat on the sand and watched the fire as the sun finished setting, leaning my head against Dean's shoulder as we munched on potato chips. The waves crashed against the beach below, and soon a cool wind began to blow in from the ocean. Dean graciously slipped my tank top off his neck and let me have it back. It was just the right amount of clothing to be com
I never thought this day would come.Maybe when I was a little girl, I had hoped that someday it would. But I never actually believed it. It feels like a dream, but I know it’s not because it’s even better than anything I could have dreamt up.I’m marrying Gabe Honors. In just a few moments, I’ll be wed to the love of my life.I’m beyond nervous, but also ready. I’ve spent the last twenty minutes looking at myself in the mirror, making sure that my hair and makeup look absolutely perfect for him.“Hey, it’s almost time,” Cora says, as she steps beside me. “You look perfect, Harper. Seriously, you look gorgeous. Gabe is going to melt.”I hope she’s right.“Well, let’s do this,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m ready.”Just outside, my mom is standing there, holding my little nephew’s hand. He breaks away and runs up to give me a quick hug before she tells him to go take his seat. Mom looks almost more nervous than I am. She can’t keep her hands still and she’s tapping her t
The following week I finally sat down to prepare for my final blog post. My decision was made. It was time to say goodbye and pass the reigns onto a new owner. It made sense and it felt right.Gabe had told me to sleep on the decision, and for most of the week I had made my home at his house, which made sleeping really easy. But the truth was that it really hadn’t taken much deliberation; the blog seemed like a thing of the past, something that opened the door to new writing feats, and I was ready to walk through that door.During our time together I had allowed the blog to slip even further off my mind, which was entirely okay with me. I had checked in periodically and had found a quick selection for Worst Wednesday. But besides that, and for the first time in a long time, I hadn’t paid it much attention. It seemed that the blog and I had finally begun to outgrow each other. At one time it had been my baby, but now it was moving out, and Cora was the perfect guide.If there was anyth
I had been fairly sure that I would never see the inside of Gabe's house ever again, but now I was standing on the deck watching the ocean once more. Not that I was complaining, though. I was happy to be there. In fact, the view of the ocean with the sun overhead never looked so good.“I’m glad you came over today. We need to talk. I’m ready to work through this and make things right again. But first, we both have to come clean with each other,” Gabe said, leaning against the railing of his deck.“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” I agreed. My palms were sweating, but I felt calmer than I had in weeks.His surprise visit at the restaurant had happened just the night before and this was the first time we had really had a chance to hash things out. This conversation needed to happen. It had been a long time coming.“Where should we start?” he asked. The breeze from the ocean ruffled his dark hair.“I guess what I really don’t understand is why you hid it from me?” I asked, starting th
“So all of your readers think you’re out with Brian right now?” Cora asked.I nodded. “Yep, I’ve duped them all into thinking Brian is a real person that loves me just the way I should be loved. It’s too bad I had to make all that up, though, isn’t it.”“Whatever. I think it’s fine.” Cora just shrugged. “But I have to ask you an important question, Harper.”“What is it?” I asked, a little nervous.Cora turned to the side and set her jaw, making a serious face. “Do I look like a Brian to you?”I busted out laughing. Her goofy antics got me every time.“You know, you actually do!” I exclaimed. “You make a perfect Brian! Wow, I’m one lucky girl to be on a date with such a handsome man.”“Aw, thanks!” she said, as she turned back to face me and grinned. “If I talk like this does it make me sound like a Brian, too?”She lowered her voice as much as possible and crinkled her eyebrows together. I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face. The good kind of tears, though, not
I sat down at my computer and clicked on the Internet. It was always the first step in starting a new blog post and I could almost feel the writer’s block start to set in as a blank window popped up on the screen and began loading.It had been just over two months since the breakup and about a month and a half since I had introduced Brian.Brian was a tall guy with a toned body, dark hair and eyes bluer than an open sky on a summer’s day. He was funny, smart, a hard worker in his career as a physical trainer, a huge sports fan and… completely fake.I had decided to create Brian in order to appease my Mother and to use as a marketing tool for the blog. After my readers had obsessed over my relationship with Gabe, Brian was designed to be Gabe 2.0 and to carry the burden of a new and passionate relationship. And completely fabricating a fake relationship was much easier than actually getting consumed by one.Brian took me on elaborate dates to all the exciting places around town without
I took a break from watching my blog to make some belated dinner. I heated up some left over lasagna and made a milkshake with some of the ice cream still left in the fridge as post-breakup comfort food. I couldn’t help but make fun of myself and my current state of affairs. It felt only fitting to throw on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix.After about a half hour I heard the phone ring.Immediately my heart skipped a beat. I had posted my blog late at night and had done so purposefully to avoid an instant reaction from Rosie or my Mom. But with as late as it was, realistically they were the only ones that would be calling.I checked the caller I.D. on the phone before answering. It was Rosie, which was better than Mom. I took a deep breath and clicked to accept the call.“Hey, Rosie,” I attempted cheerfully.“Hey, Big Sis!” she exclaimed.“What are you doing up so late?” I asked.“I fell asleep kind of early, and then the baby woke me up. My sleep schedule is so crazy now, thi
Well, the time has come. Every beginning has an end, and my relationship has found its end. Two weeks ago, Mr. Perfect Match and I broke up and it is time for the corresponding blog post (because blogging about breakups is the best way to move on, right??)It’s not the typical kind of post I’m used to writing. My life is filled with many more bad dates than bad breakups, and maybe that’s a good thing. But it also means that I’m entering new territory without the right map to guide me. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have lovedI stopped writing and glared at the screen. I highlighted the last sentence and hit delete as if the force of my click would hurt the words as they left the page. Love. It was like a bad word, something I had been conditioned not to say. And Gabe deserved no exception, even if it would appease an old stupid cliché about breakups.After a few moments of contemplation I picked up again where I left off.Time is a weird thing. It has the a
The plane ride to Orlando only took less than an hour, but it felt like an eternity. I spent the entire trip trying to hide my sobs, but of course it was impossible. Luckily, I had sat in the window seat and was able to face away from everyone while I cried, but I still knew that people were looking at me. The older lady sitting next to me even asked if there was anything she could do to help. I responded with, “If you can make men honest, that would help.” She just laughed and said, “I don’t think there’s anything I can do about that one.”My makeup was ruined, my hair was a mess and the clothes I had on were a day old. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking like I was ready to hit the town when I crawled off of the plane. It didn’t matter, though. Cora didn’t care what I looked like. She wouldn’t judge me. That was why I had come to see her in the first place.I had only taken a few steps out of the front doors of the airport before I heard Cora calling out my name. I hadn’t even gotten
After storming out of Gabe’s office, I went back to the bedroom and got dressed as quickly as possible. I was teeming with emotion, but I didn’t want to let out a single sob. I could save that for later, when I could enjoy a pint if ice cream and a few days of binge watching my favorite TV show. But for now, I needed to keep it together and act tough.So once I was dressed, I gathered my makeup from his countertop in his bathroom and tossed everything into my overnight bag. To think, I was considering what it would be like to spend my life with the guy and now I was doing everything possible to speed up the process of leaving his house for good.I can’t believe this. I should have known that it would only be a matter of time before something like this would happen to me, I thought. Why did I fool myself into thinking I could actually meet a decent guy?I zipped up my bag and tossed it over my shoulder. Before leaving the bedroom, I took one last look at the bed, where the blankets wer