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Chapter 1
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2025-02-09 17:36:10Leah's POV
"Congratulations, Cece!" I exclaim, pushing myself out of my chair and throwing my arms around my best friend. I hug her tightly, her fuller figure pressing against my smaller frame.
"Thank you," Cece beams as I pull back. Her eyes shimmer with happy tears, and her fingers lovingly trace the diamond-studded ring. Her expression grows thoughtful, as if she’s replaying the moment in her mind.
I can’t decide what I admire more: the dazzling ring on her finger or the radiant smile lighting up her face.
"You know," she begins, her voice soft, "I never saw it coming. Shaun completely took me by surprise." She glances up at me, her cheeks flushed with joy.
I smile knowingly. "Well, I guess now is the best time to tell you—I was in on his secret."
Her eyes widen in shock. "Wait, what? You knew?"
I laugh at her comical expression. "Of course! It was hard to keep it from you, but Shaun made me promise not to say a word. You have no idea how difficult it was!"
Cece looks at me with mock outrage, then breaks into a grin. "You’re so good at keeping secrets," she says, clearly impressed.
Her attention drifts briefly to the café door as new patrons walk in, but I can’t help letting my gaze linger on her. She looks so content. Completely at ease. And the truth is, I’m not.
Not even close.
I wish I could be. I wish I could bottle up just a fraction of the happiness she’s feeling, but the weight in my chest won’t let me.
The memory surfaces before I can push it down.
Ethan, sitting across from me at his dining table, the flickering candlelight casting shadows across his face. The warmth in his eyes as he reached for my hand.
"Move in with me."
He’d said it like a declaration, like it was the most obvious next step. Like he expected me to say yes.
And for a moment, I’d frozen.
I should have felt excitement, joy. It should have felt like a new beginning. But all I’d felt was dread. A deep, gut-wrenching kind of dread that had twisted my stomach into knots.
I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath until he squeezed my fingers.
"Leah?" His voice had been soft, patient. Expectant.
I had forced a smile, the same one I had forced a thousand times before. "I… I just need a little time to think about it."
He hadn’t seemed disappointed, at least not outright. He’d nodded, kissed the back of my hand, and told me he’d wait.
But the truth is, I already knew my answer.
Because this—this thing between Ethan and me—had never felt like the love I once knew.
The love I had with Dwight.
Dwight. The man who once made me believe in fairy tales.
We had our whole lives planned out. A little house with a garden in the back where we’d grow flowers and vegetables. A golden retriever. Weekend road trips to nowhere in particular. We were going to build a life full of laughter, love, and memories.
And then, just days before our wedding, he vanished. No goodbye. No explanation. Just... gone.
I spent weeks—months—trying to find him. Calling hospitals, filing police reports, waiting for answers that never came. It was as if the earth had swallowed him whole.
Eventually, I stopped searching. I told myself I had to move on, even if my heart refused to heal. That’s when Ethan entered my life.
He was everything Dwight wasn’t—stable, kind, dependable. He picked up the pieces of my broken heart and offered me a new life. And for a while, I thought that was enough.
But love shouldn’t feel like a safe choice. It shouldn’t feel like something I settled for.
"Leah?"
Cece’s warm hand touches my forearm, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts. Her eyes search mine, filled with concern.
I force a smile, trying to shove my emotions back into their box. "I’m fine. I’m just so happy for you. You deserve this. You and Shaun deserve to be happy."
Her hand doesn’t move. She gives my arm a gentle squeeze, her expression softening with what I dreadfully recognize as pity.
"You can’t fool me," she says gently. "We’ve been friends since we were kids. Talk to me, Leah."
I shake my head, turning away from her worried gaze. How can I? How can I tell her that, as happy as I am for her, I can’t help but envy her?
How do I tell her that I wish I could feel the way she feels—completely sure of her partner, utterly happy and at peace?
My throat tightens as I think of Ethan.
I should want to move in with him. I should be thrilled that he sees a future with me. But instead, all I feel is that same, suffocating dread.
Because no matter how much I try, I can’t pretend that Ethan will ever be Dwight.
And I can’t pretend that my heart doesn’t still belong to a ghost.
"Leah?" Cece’s voice pulls me back to the present.
I blink at her, realizing I’ve gone quiet. Her brow is furrowed with concern, and her hand is still resting on mine.
"I’m okay," I say softly, forcing another smile. "I guess I was just lost in thought."
Cece doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she lets it go. She leans back in her chair and flashes me a grin.
"Enough about me," she says. "We need to talk about you. How’s work? How’s Ethan?"
The mention of Ethan makes my stomach twist, but I answer as casually as I can. "Work is fine. Busy, as usual. And Ethan is… Ethan."
Cece arches an eyebrow. "That’s not exactly a glowing review."
I laugh, trying to deflect. "He’s a great guy, Cece. He really is. I’m just... tired, I guess."
She studies me for a moment, then nods slowly. "Well, if you ever need to talk, you know I’m here."
"Thanks," I say, meaning it.
The barista brings our drinks, interrupting the heavy moment. Cece immediately perks up, grabbing her coffee and taking a long sip.
"Okay," she says, her voice suddenly excited. "Let’s talk wedding plans. I need your help picking out bridesmaid dresses."
I laugh, grateful for the change in topic. "You’ve got it. Just promise me no pastel pink. I still haven’t recovered from the horror of your cousin’s wedding."
Cece bursts into laughter, and the sound is infectious. For the first time all afternoon, I feel a genuine smile spread across my face.
As we dive into the details of her upcoming wedding, I let myself get lost in her joy.
For now, that’s enough.
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