CARTER'S POV I am still not sure how I got here. I was deeply stuck in conflict. I did not plan on this. Hell! I didn't even know it was happening until it was already too late. But now, here I was, completely stuck in a web of feelings that I could not untangle. Everything, it was all because of her. I needed to do something about her and I needed to do whatever it was swiftly. My father was going to be so pleased if he found out that I could not complete this one small task. I could already see him smirking at me with that evil glint in his mischievous eyes. He would be so gay with glee that he was correct about me being useless, me picking the wrong girl and me developing feelings for her on the mission.However, the thing was that I could not even decide whether I wanted to keep my distance from her or get closer to her. A part of me wanted to run in the opposite direction the second that she would walk into the room. But then she would say something to me or look at me in the
ALVIRA’S pov It has been about a week since I had spoken to Carter. Somehow, we had both been busy to have any spare time for ourselves due to our busy schedules. He had a lot of work that he needed to tend to according to him and I, on the other hand, was stuck to my neck with loads and loads of homework and essays. The exams were fast approaching and I needed to get back on track and finish up my work before the deadlines were up if I was to make it in time for my exams. However, between my increasing school hours and his ever growing tight schedule, we had found a way to keep in touch. Carter would always wake me up with a morning text and I would respond whenever I got up from bed. During the day, we would randomly text each other, going back and forth between our schedules. It was not much but it was enough to keep him going. At night we would have short conversations where we spoke to each other about our day and I would find myself falling asleep. Carter had been very sup
ALVIRA’S POVOnce again, Clarissa falls asleep mid way into the movie. I let out a soft chuckle as I tidied up, listening to get soft snores. I quickly but quietly packed up the bowls of popcorn and arranged the sitting room while making sure I didn’t wake her up. She was a light sleeper and the slightest noise would wake her up. I busied myself with washing the dishes and cleaning up the mess we had left earlier on. Yep, Clarissa and I had a funny habit of leaving our kitchen mess up after we finished cooking or making a snack and would only go back to clean it up after we were done eating. I took out the trash and cleared out the cabinets, unconsciously cleaning up the whole kitchen and dining area. Deep down, I know it was all just a way to distract myself from the myriad of thoughts running through my head. ‘Rissa’s question kept ringing in my head and I struggled to find a suitable answer for it. To an extent, I knew I was comfortable with my relationship with Carter and the p
ALVIRA’S POV“No,” I said a little too forcefully. I didn't want him to think that I was not interested in that.“Good," he said with another smirk. "Now, I would like to take my girlfriend out to a nice place to eat and chill for a while. Come on.” He said, guiding me to the passenger side of the car and guiding me in. As usual, he buckled me in and closed the door before walking around to his side behind the wheel. “Um, where are we going tonight?” I asked. “We are going to one of the finest restaurants in the city and perhaps, in the whole of the country, and I know this because it’s mine.” He said, a smirk on his face as he drove with one hand on the steering and the other on my lap. A few months ago, I would normally be avoiding me and keeping to myself all through. I would even have a panic attack whenever he got so close to me, not to talk of when he would touch me. I found myself getting comfortable enough around him to allow certain touches from him like this one. It was
CARTER’S POVLife was good. Or at least, that is how it seemed to me. I was enjoying life with my girlfriend, and for once in a long time, I found myself looking forward to meeting her and just being around her. She was like an escape from the chaos that was my life. I found myself unconsciously looking over at the time until when I could go over to see her and just do mundane things like going for walks, playing on a swing, taking ice cream, watching the sunset and other random flimsy things that she would always come up with. I would never admit it to anyone else but I really enjoy our time together. I still can not categorically explain what it is that I feel for her but I know that I care about her more than my brain would dare to admit. She is there when I woke up, she stays with me while I go about my day, and she is there when I go back to bed. I do not know how we got to this stage but I found myself comparing every other lady I meet to her. I keep asking myself what was so
CARTER’S POVFuck! This was so not the way I had hoped this night would end. I was too conflicted and in a lot of pain and anger as I sat across Alvira in a very uncomfortable silence. She had withdrawn from me, and I could see how she would rather be anywhere else than sitting across from me now, and the thought gnawed at me. I know right now that I am being a dickhead by openly flirting with the skanky ass dressed waitress in front of Alvira. I could see how my actions are breaking her and doing so much damage to her self esteem but I just can't help it. I am in a very sour mood from the meeting with my father and the sight of her is doing the opposite of what I expected it to do to me. I came over to see her in the hopes that seeing her would be able to calm me down. But it just constantly reminds me of how badly I need to prove myself to my father that I was not a complete failure.A part of me needed to prove to the scumbag that I could do this. That I was worthy of being a s
CARTER’S POV I watched her squirm, the feeling both nauseating and satisfying. I knew that somewhere around, my father had someone watching us right now and I wanted, no need him to know that I was capable of being whatever I wanted to be. Alvira looked everywhere but at me. The sight was both a turn on and somewhat disturbing. I enjoyed the feeling of discomfort and admired how she tried to hide it and just get through with this dinner so she could go home. “Answer me, Alvira. Did the beautiful waitress make you feel small? Do you not feel pretty? Or just flat out make you feel completely invisible?” I asked. “N- no. She- she did not.” She whispered out, nervously rubbing the tip of her ears and looking around. Of course it was a lie. She would always do that whenever she was lying or uncomfortable about something. She would nervously weave her shaky hands through her hair, moving it haphazardly away from her ear and then rub at it while her eyes darted around. “Are y
ALVIRA’S POVWhy do I have to have the worst fate when it comes to love? I thought to myself as I sobbed in the confines of my room. To think I was so stupid to think that Carter and I would ever amount to anything. That he would care for me to the point of according to me the decency of respecting me in public. I think back to the dinner we just had. It was surprising how he had gone from sweet and caring to me to being a total douchebag. Even going as far as openly flirting with that ugly looking stupid bastard lady of a waitress. Okay, I may have over exaggerated this. She was pretty, had nice toned legs that were not too thick or too thin, with perky breasts, from what I saw when she flashed them at Carter. Her face looked clear and she had a level of confidence when she walked. It was like she knew people were paying attention to her. I groaned, turning over on my bed, my eyes finding the little starry lights I had placed on the ceiling. I sighed once again. I guess I was not
ALVIRA’S POVWell, recently, my previously boring life has been going rather smoothly, or as smoothly as it could go. It had received more spice since Carter came into it. So far, Clarissa and I have found many other ways to cheer me up and get me to stop thinking of the name that will not be mentioned. It has been ten days since Carter and I had had our last disastrous meeting that had left me so sad that I would still wake in the night thinking of that monstrous thing and later cry myself to sleep every night. What did I ever do to have to go through all these with him? Was all this just a game to him? Did he ever mean the words he said to me? Why did he have to make me question everything I ever believed in? How could he do this and subject me to such emotional turmoil?I sat on my makeshift desk and looked into the screen of my laptop. We were having another class and I was struggling to try to make sense of why Carter just had to make me feel so less of a human being. He
CARTER’S POVEverything felt unreal.That was because for the third time and hopefully the last time, ladies and gentlemen, it is safe to say that for the first time in a long time that I, the mighty Carter Blane, had two sexy women stark naked in front of me with little to no response from me. There was no familiar rush of blood to my member, no familiar rush of want and desire, no familiar need to have my cock in them, pumping and thrusting till I would come deep inside of them, my thick cum filling their hungry pussy to the brim.And, I felt a tad bit embarrassed about the fact that my member was unable to function in their presence. Okay, maybe it was a lot of embarrassment. I still can't believe that no other woman was capable of making me feel so much and also feel so little at the same time. However, because I am Carter Blane and because I never let myself get embarrassed, I decided to make do with exactly what I had. But that was a story for another day. Right now, I was do
CARTER’S POVTwo whole hours later and yet it was still safe to say that I was yet to still not get any tangible work done.It is still safe once again to say that I could not also get any form of sleep despite how much I tried.I was stuck on Alvira with the whole of my mind, body and soulSo it was no doubt surprising when I was there three hours later still angrily tossing and turning and unable to find any bit of sleep. How was I supposed to focus on anything when I could barely do no quite right without my mind drifting back to her. I sat up and went to bed and reached for my mobile phone. I meant to use it to distract myself, but I ended up fiddling with the electronic device. And for a while I questioned myself on whether I should call her or text her, leaving a short message. I wondered also if I should just ignore her and continue to keep up my act.In all honesty, the past eight days have been torture while I was going through the motions of going to work and back and num
CARTER’S POVPunch.The sound ricocheted throughout the gym room.I needed to stop thinking of her. Fuck! Now I was thinking of her, again.Punch. This one was much louder, harder.Why the hell could I not stop thinking of her?Why was she all up in my head like a children's rhyme, stuck in my brain? She was like an imprint in my head and tried as hard as I could, I still could not completely get her out of my head. She was all that I could think of. Only thoughts of her woke me up daily. They were with me even as I went about my day. Those same thoughts of her lulled me to sleep after every exhausting day. And it should not be so because she was supposed to be my pawn in the game between my father and I. She was supposed to become my victim, one that I would use and break beyond any form of redemption.And here I was now in my private gym on the underground floor of my apartment. I have been trying my best to get her out of my mind to no avail. I had tried different means, be
ALVIRA’S POV“ALVIRAAA!!” I jumped up out of the bed and ran out of my room and into the living room, a bath in hand as I looked around for any possible threats but there was apparently no one in sight. I looked around just to be sure, my guard way up as I skimmed everywhere for any possible threats. Seeing none, I looked over at Clarissa whose eyes were glued to her laptop, a glass of tea next to it. I walked up to her, my eyes squinting to adjust to the light from the screen. I still found it hard to adjust to the brightness of her screen. It was always on the highest level. It was a surprise she was not blind at this point. “‘Rissa, what is the matter? Why are you screaming my name this early in the morning? The sun is not even out.” I groaned, rubbing my eyes to shake the sleep from them. That did not work though. “Oh! Come on. Don’t be so dramatic.” She said, waving her hands to dismiss me. I scoffed. I was being dramatic? I was not the one who was screaming the house down f
ALVIRA’S POVIt has been two weeks since that very disastrous date and Carter is yet to call or text or even show up at my door. I have to admit, a part of me missed him and was in despair that he had not initiated a call or even made any effort to reach out to me. I could not count how many times I had run to my phone once I got a notification hoping and wishing it was him but only getting disappointed that it was just something else and not him. Clarissa had made me promise that I would not be the one who initiated contact and all I can say is that it has been hell trying my hardest to keep to that promise. But I understood where she was coming from. I needed to make sure that he knew that I could live life without him and I could see how that was aimed at making me more confident but with every day that passed without a call or text from Carter, I felt my heart break down a little more. It hurt to realize that I was so dispensable that he could go days without talking to me or
ALVIRA’S POVI cried. I cried for myself. I cried because of my situation. I cried for my past. And I cried for my life at that moment. Why couldn’t I just get some peace and clarity in my life, you know? “It’s alright.” Clarissa cooed. After a few minutes of crying and Clarissa trying her best to console me, I sat up, detangling myself from her. I looked down at my hands that were fiddling with themselves on my laps. “Talk to me, what happened?” She asked once again. I took a deep breath and looked up at her. “We were supposed to go somewhere serene and just have some food and drinks and come back home, you know? We went over to one of his restaurants downtown and went up to the last floor just so we could be alone and just have our dinner. We were enjoying ourselves and just enjoying each other’s company on the drive there, but as soon as we got to the restaurant and on the elevator, it was like he had changed from the kind, loving and carefree person to the cold hearted, dista
ALVIRA’S POVLunch was delicious. ‘Rissa and I had taken turns making lunch and we had ended up on the couch with our food and drinks on the table. We were back to watching our reruns of Teen Wolf. These were the times I always looked forward to. We were three episodes in when she suddenly started talking. “You know,” she started, picking up the remote and pausing the movie while turning to face me. I also turned to face her. “You have not really told me how your date went last night.” She said, I looked down, my mood suddenly turning sour as my mind once again subconsciously went back to the night before. “You don’t have to blush. And yea, I know. I saw your note on the table before I went off to sleep in my room. I must say. I am kind of digging this new style, you know? Spontaneous night dates and hangouts. It’s like you guys are sneaking around to get the best of the night life without being scared of what might happen. I like that for you.” She rambled. I raised my head to
ALVIRA’S POVWhy do I have to have the worst fate when it comes to love? I thought to myself as I sobbed in the confines of my room. To think I was so stupid to think that Carter and I would ever amount to anything. That he would care for me to the point of according to me the decency of respecting me in public. I think back to the dinner we just had. It was surprising how he had gone from sweet and caring to me to being a total douchebag. Even going as far as openly flirting with that ugly looking stupid bastard lady of a waitress. Okay, I may have over exaggerated this. She was pretty, had nice toned legs that were not too thick or too thin, with perky breasts, from what I saw when she flashed them at Carter. Her face looked clear and she had a level of confidence when she walked. It was like she knew people were paying attention to her. I groaned, turning over on my bed, my eyes finding the little starry lights I had placed on the ceiling. I sighed once again. I guess I was not