I start reading the eleven pages of the contract on top of my dining table.Eleven pages. Wow.I was going to read them earlier at that restaurant or club or whatever that was, but Shawn told me not to. Not that I would have been able to digest it with Shawn sitting right across from me staring. He said I should read it very carefully at home and then give him my answer on Monday.I guess that's what I'm doing now.I read it from start to finish even though some of the legal jargon is hard on the brain, even though at times I have to pause to let out a gasp or a curse. Then I read it again. All eleven pages.When I'm done, I stare at the front page in disbelief.A baby contract.Yup, that's exactly what it is.Basically, it says that I'll agree to have Shawn's baby, and take care of that baby — that child — in secret. In exchange, I'll get a huge amount of money, a house here and a vacation villa in Switzerland.Wow.I leave the papers on the table to get a drink of water. I keep the
Felicity can't be serious.Long after she's given me her answer, I still find myself glancing at the brown envelope on my desk in disbelief.I had the contract crafted carefully. It was rushed, yes, but my lawyer's good. He put in everything I asked him to, and I asked him to put in a lot of things, including a very generous sum of money.So why didn't Felicity sign it?Didn't she say she wanted to be a mother? Has she changed her mind?I want to summon her back into my office, tell her to cancel all my appointments and just have her tell me what's on her mind so she can make me understand why she said no, so I can convince her to say yes. But I wait until my work is done."Is there anything else I can do for you before I go home?" Felicity asks me when she pops into my office at the end of the day."Yes."I leave my desk and sit on the couch, brown envelope in tow. I place it on the table and gesture to the other couch."Sit."Felicity sits. She crosses her legs and clasps her hands
I can't stay here.I fight off a fresh wave of tears as I stuff my clothes inside my suitcase, the same one I just unpacked a week ago.I had a feeling Shawn wouldn't be happy with my decision not to sign that stupid contract, but I didn't think he was going to be such a jerk about it.It's selfish enough that all he sees me as is a baby maker. Then he goes on and says that the contract is in my best interest, that he's going to keep everything a secret for my sake when he's the one with a reputation to uphold. How dare he say I deserve to be happy while making sure I won't be.Then I find out he read my journal. He fucking read my journal, my most private possession.Don't they teach you in third grade not to go through other people's things?Yes, I was careless to leave it there. Yes, he owns the desk I left it on. Even so, he didn't have to read it. But he did. He read every page, I think. Every secret. Every wish. Every fantasy. And because of that, nothing feels real anymore.It'
The fog greets me as soon as I come out of the airport in New York. I smile because it feels like a hug from the city, welcoming me back.I drop my things at a hotel and grab a cup of coffee. I sip it as I reminisce inside the cab headed to the house where my parents and I used to live.So many memories.Even more of them come flooding back once I'm standing in front of the two-story house I know so well. It looks the same as when I left it. Dark blue roof. Pale blue walls. White door. White windows. White porch. The sign on the front says it's still for sale, so I guess no one has lived in it since I last did.I walk up to the front door. It's locked, of course. I peek through the window. All I see are pieces of furniture covered in white cloth, which in turn is covered in dust. Even hidden, I can recognize some of them, and I smile.I go around the house to the backyard. I see the patch of soil where my mother's garden used to be. Only weeds grow in it now.I also see her box of gar
"What on earth?"Ryker steps between Asher and me. He pushes me away and glances at Asher's nose."What the hell are the two of you doing?""Having our own party," Asher answers as he wipes his nose.I wipe the blood trickling from the corner of my mouth and swallow the rest. I draw a deep breath.Gradually, my temper subsides. As it does, my mind clears. I realize the stupidity of what I've just done and I slap my forehead."Fuck.""Fuck is right," Ryker says. Then he sighs. "Seriously, what are the two of you doing?""I just came up to check on him and found him drinking alone." Asher points to the bottle of Scotch.Ryker gives me a look of dismay. "What?""Then I told him he should just go after Felicity because we all know she's the reason why he's acting like this, and well... you saw what happened next. Or part of it."I sit on the couch and let out a sigh of my own."I can't go after Felicity."Enough with the denial and the drinking. It's not making anything better. Maybe talk
"That will be fifty-eight dollars and forty-nine cents," the pharmacist behind the counter tells me.My eyes grow wide. Nearly sixty bucks for a bottle of pain relievers, a tiny tube of pimple cream and a few bottles of water?I only have a fifty-dollar bill in my hand, so I quickly search my purse for a ten. I know I have one somewhere. Where is it again?I was hoping my headaches and dizzy spells would just go away. I thought that time I nearly fainted on the front porch of my old house would be the last episode. The person who helped me — she lived across the street — was a nurse who just told me to take iron supplements. I did, and for a day, I was fine. But last night, I felt dizzy again, nauseous even. This morning, I woke up with a headache. It's not that painful but it's literally at the back of my head, nagging at me.Also, I had no appetite this morning, and to make matters worse, when I looked in the mirror, I realized I had a pimple on my forehead. What the hell?The pharm
Cocky bastard."How do you intend on doing that?" I ask him."I'll do whatever it takes."He takes another step forward.I take another back but find the door behind me. I'm cornered. Shawn looks into my eyes. "I've missed you, Felicity."His words and his gaze send my pulse pounding, but I suppress my excitement. And my hopes. I promised myself I'd be smarter, stronger. Besides, he hasn't said the words I want to hear the most.I hold my chin high. "You just miss having sex with me, don't you? Isn't that why you wanted to have a baby with me? Just so you could have sex with me?""I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the sex, but that's not why I want to be with you."I ignore him. "Or maybe you just don't want another man to have me?""Of course not," Shawn admits. "Is that so bad?""You just want to keep me on the bench.""Bench?""You're greedy. And you're selfish. And you're..."I stop talking because he's so close to me now, So close I can smell his cologne. I can't breathe."Why
Two months later..."I take it everything is going well?" Ryker asks me as we stand outside my office."Of course it is," Asher answers for me. "Look at Felicity. She's glowing."I watch her as she talks to Dana, the woman she's been training to be my next assistant for the past two weeks.She does look radiant in the yellow dress she's wearing, which is just tight enough to show off the curve of her belly.Even though some people have started nasty rumors about her, she has no intention of hiding it, which I find admirable. And attractive.I still don't know how I found such an amazing woman. Or how I didn't realize I had one right next to me until I lost her. But I'm sure of one thing — I'm never letting her go.And I'm making that clear tonight."What about you?" I ask Asher."How are things going with Violet?"He makes a face."Not good, huh?" Ryker asks."She still hasn't forgiven me for leaving her at that party years ago," Asher says.He did tell me about that. I thought there
The weeks passed, and after confirmation from the doctor, they set to work decorating one of the rooms into a nursery. They went for neutral colors and gave Logan free rein to help them decorate. He had an artistic eye, and Norman loved seeing the boy come out of his shell. During the decorating of the nursery, it sank in that he was going to have a baby.They were going to have a tiny little life in their hands. It wasn't about being a father, or for Sasha a mother, as they already felt that way for Logan. He'd spoken with Sasha about it, and she had the same thoughts and fears as he did.Norman knew he hadn't made a mistake with Sasha. Not only did he love her, but she was a fantastic mom, and she knew exactly what to say and do to help Logan along the way. Therewere moments, late at night, where he'd still have nightmares.She never once shouted at him. Instead, she'd nurture him, and love him.Once the nursery was complete, they went shopping, letting Logan pick some of the stuff
Two weeks after purchasing the house, they had Logan officially adopted. Norman took as much time away from the office as he could. Sasha went to the office between school hours, completing his work for him. He didn't want her to hire anyone else. Another two weeks after they had Logan, their house was available, and they moved in on that weekend. Her parents came to help as much as they could.They looked after Logan while she and Norman organized movers. They had her mother's slow-cooked pulled pork for dinner rather than have takeout.For an entire weekend, they got the house exactly as they wanted, starting with the bedrooms, and bathroom. Time seemed to move quickly but smoothly where life just played out.Logan came out of his shell, and completely animated their lives. She loved him like he was her own son. He talked constantly about what he loved, which bands he enjoyed listening to. It was fun getting to find out what food he liked as well. He didn't like broccoli, which was
Norman watched as Sasha kissed Logan's cheek, wrapping him up in his new jacket. Each time they brought him back to the foster home, the harder it was to leave him behind.There had been a snag with the adoption, but Shannon was dealing with it.There had to be an assessment done on Logan to make sure he wanted to live with them.Their backgrounds had come back fine, and Shannon assured him it was just down to paperwork. One department needing to talk to another, and rather than phone calls, they had to do it in paper. He was used to problems like this.Logan threw his arms around Sasha, holding her close.She was so beautiful, and she took his breath away. They had been together for a little over a month now. A month of being married, and he loved her ever more.Shannon nodded at him, taking hold of Logan's hand as Sasha came back to him."I hate this. I hate leaving him.""We'll have him soon. I've already got my lawyers working on speeding up the process." He handed her some leafle
Sasha watched as Norman spoke with his clients. It had been a week since he'd asked her about Logan. Things were moving slowly with Logan, but Shannon was reassured that they would be able to have him by next week. Until then, they both went and visited, getting Logan used to them.The boys with Logan weren't angry or upset that he was coming home with them. In fact, they were damn happy. She was shocked by the love the boys showed Logan, and she was proud.The workplace gossip had died down now. No one was whispering behind their hands, looking at them, and laughing. It was the laughter she'd hated more than anything. Norman wouldn't let them hide their relationship anymore, and for that she was glad. She'd never enjoyed hiding that part of herself, and it never felt natural for her to."Here you go," Lottie said, interrupting her."So sorry, I was away in a different land there," she said, taking the mail from her."Marriage must really suit you.""Why do you say that?""You're pract
"Norman, this is my mom and dad, Emma and Harold Miller," Sasha said.The two people were a lot older than Norman imagined, but he saw that they were loving, caring people. The kindness in their eyes showed through. While he'd been participating in this yearly event of torture, "taste the food", he'd noticed her parents arrive. The care they gave to each child was something he admired."Hello, it's great to meet you," he said."It's about damn time we met you. Been married for what? A month or so, and we're only getting to meet you now. It's a disgrace.""Dad, stop it," Sasha said, chuckling. "We've been busy, and we both know you'd have needed to calm down before you could even accept him into your life.""Yeah, well, a father is still allowed to be ... annoyed."Norman smiled as he noticed Harold hesitated before saying something, making sure kids didn't hear any cussing words.According to Shannon, the event was a roaring success. Norman would double, maybe even triple, his donatio
That Saturday, Sasha stayed beside Norman, holding onto his arm as they were surrounded by congratulations. She didn't miss the questioning looks that some were throwing their way. There was no mistaking their confused thoughts. They were all wondering why he was with her.Norman, though, he was so different. The kids from over ten different foster homes in the area had turned up at the school for a day of fun. Every year Norman would donate money to the school so that he could host these events. The previous four years she had stayed in the background, playing her part but never really getting too close.This year was different. Norman grabbed her arm, holding up their hands, and announcing to the whole event that they were husband and wife. He didn't address anyone but the kids."Kids, listen up. Something is a little different this year. You see this beautiful lady by my side?""She's your PA," one kid said."Now she's my wife. Sasha accepted my proposal.""Does that mean you're in
Later that night, Norman was waiting for Sasha to finish in the shower. He would join her, but he had plans with her, and he intended to carry them out. After he'd escorted her to the human resources department for the two of them to change their marital status, and also her name, his building was humming with gossip.Martha and Lottie took the time to stop by her desk to ask about the details of what was going on. When she had looked toward him, he'd gone to help her, letting them know that they couldn't stop love.Norman stared at his reflection in one of the mirrors, and then stared down at his wedding band.Love.He'd never felt it before in his life. The people in his world didn't deserve love, and he didn't really believe in it either. At least, he hadn't.No, he didn't love Sasha.Love was just an element of control that people used.He believed in sex.Sasha came out of the bathroom dressed in a towel."Why did you take my nightshirt?""Why would I want you dressed?" He ran hi
"Please tell me he's a meat eater?" her mother, Emma, asked."Yes, Norman likes meat."Sasha sat outside of the office building, eating a sandwich. Norman was on a very important conference call. She made sure he had some lunch and decided to eat hers outside on one of the walls, watching the hustle and bustle of the city life go by."Good, good. I have no problem with people being vegetarian, or whatever they want to call it. Just not for me. A meal is not a meal without some meat.""There are a lot of people who will disagree. I like vegetarian food. You should make the lasagna. Amazing."She heard her mother's scoff. "Can you imagine me feeding Harold a vegetarian lasagna?""Nope. Dad wouldn't talk to you for weeks.""Now that you say that, I may just make it for him."Sasha started laughing. Her mother and father loved each other very much. "How much does he know of... my arrangement?""He knows everything, sweetie. You know I don't keep things like that from your father."Sasha g
One glorious week had passed. Norman stared out of his office window, and couldn't keep the smile from his face. He was married, and slowly, he was moving Sasha into his place. Their wedding hadn't been a big deal.No white dress, no flowers, no guests. Like Sasha wanted, they'd gone down to the courtrooms during a break, and simply gotten married, signed the paperwork, sealed it all up, and he'd placed a ring on her finger. It had to be one of the coldest moments of his life. Then he recalled Sasha's smile, and nothing had been cold about that day. They all had to make sacrifices, and she was giving up her life to be with him.There had been a few minor setbacks. She didn't want anyone to know that he was married in the office, so the ring he wore was around his neck attached to a necklace. Sasha wouldn't wear her ring either, which pissed him the fuck off.She belonged to him. They were in the process of making a baby together, and they were husband and wife. It would only be a matt