MilaAfter paying attention to my breasts for a while, my pussy begged for attention enough to distract me, and I ran my hands down my body, over my stomach. I pulled up my knees and arched my back, curling into the bed before my thighs fell open. I played my fingers over my pussy lips, gasping. My touch was almost electric after I had teased myself for so long, and I gasped, wanting more. I tried to hold out and drag it out, but my clit throbbed, and I pushed my fingers into my slit. I was so wet, and I shivered when I touched my clit. I smeared the wetness all around my pussy, moving slowly and gently. With my eyes closed, I pictured Ben. I imagined it was his hands on my body, his fingers on my clit.I had never masturbated thinking about someone in particular. Even though I had crushed on Ben for ages, I hadn’t used him as fuel for my sexual fantasies. Not when I had thought he didn’t even think about me. It had seemed wrong somehow.But now, I knew he’d wanted me. His dick had be
BenOn Sunday morning, I woke up with a hangover again. It was so much the same as the last time Mila and I had gone out drinking together, but this time, I was filled with regret. There was no uncertainty about what she felt for me now. I was the one who had stopped it from going further between us. But I was sure that if I hadn’t, we would have slept together. Or come a lot closer to it.Mila had kissed me back with the same kind of passion as she had the last time, and she had known what she was doing. We’d both had time to think about the first time we’d kissed, and neither of us had been as wasted as we had before.I did regret walking out on her, though. I would have loved to spend the night, to explore her body and everything else that could have happened. But it hadn’t been the right time.When I rolled out of bed, my head throbbed, and my stomach turned. But I wasn’t so sick that I was going to throw up. Still, I felt like shit. Maybe it was more my emotions than anything els
BenI nodded. “I didn’t think about that,” I said. “Thanks, man. That puts it into perspective a little.”“Everything happens for a reason,” Jerrod said.Immediately, I thought of Mila. But she hadn’t come into my life at the right time. I would have liked that, but she wasn’t one of the things that had happened for a reason. Or if she was, I wasn’t sure what lesson it was that I was supposed to learn from loving and losing her.My stomach flipped when I thought about love in those terms. I wasn’t nearly that far, I told myself. Maybe Mila had been put on my path to help me through the worst and to teach me how to be strong. No matter what.Even if I lost more and more people who meant something to me.“You know I’m always here when you need to talk,” Jerrod said. “Even though us real men never talk about anything serious.”I snorted. “Of course not. We just get wasted and get laid. Nothing serious here.”Jerrod laughed. “You’re so full of shit.”“You started it,” I said with a grin.
MilaOn Monday, I was back at the hospital, and life carried on as usual. I had enough work to distract me from everything that had happened, or hadn’t happened, between me and Ben.I had struggled on Sunday. My mind had jumped between being upset, angry, and hurt that he had left me hanging after things had escalated between us and understanding why he’d left. I hadn’t been able to get him off my mind at all, and Skylar’d had a family thing she couldn’t get out of, so I hadn’t even been able to cry on her shoulder.But I was a big girl, and I could handle shit myself. Being back in my normal routine and having enough work to keep me busy helped a lot.Despite having work to distract me, even work made me think of Ben in some ways. The two firefighters who hadn’t been too severely injured were being moved out of the ICU and into regular recovery rooms. I was relieved for Ben’s sake. And for theirs.It was horrible to end up in the ICU at all. I was so glad they were doing as well as t
MilaThe phone rang, and I waited for Ben to pick up. After a couple of rings, it rolled over to Ben’s voice mail. I felt a little deflated. I had hoped to speak to him in person so we could clear the air, but he was probably busy. Maybe it was another emergency, although I hadn’t heard anything.“Hi, it’s me,” I said after the tone, “I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. And let you know what’s going on here at the hospital. Two of the firefighters have been moved to regular recovery rooms, so that’s great. They’re healing well, and they’ll be out of here soon. Jonas is still in ICU, but he’s awake and making progress. At this rate, he shouldn’t be here much longer.” I paused. “I just wanted to let you know. Give me a call when you have a chance.”I hesitated, not sure how to end the call. In the end, I merely hung up. I had left him a message, and that counted for something.My shift finished at a decent time. When we didn’t have a lot of ICU patients and there were
BenThe reading of the will had been successful, not that it was ever a positive thing. The whole process had made me think of my dad’s death and the proceedings we’d had to follow back then.It was all eerily similar, and I hated being stuck here again. It was like a very fucked up déjà vu.Tuesday morning was the funeral. Uncle Dean could finally be laid to rest now that everything had been taken care of. I hadn’t wanted to go. I didn’t want to deal with the pain and suffering that came with a funeral, with the emotions of hundreds of people that clung to me like spiderwebs, making my own sorrow so much worse. I just wanted to go home.With how thing stood right now, it looked like this was going to become my home. Uncle Dean had left me the company. It was ironic that he had given me so much money to buy me out, and I had ended up with the company anyway. It was a twisted version of the gift that kept on giving.I couldn’t just leave and not attend the funeral. A lot of the people
BenAfter I helped Penny ensure the reception was ready, we headed toward the church. It would be a closed casket. Uncle Dean had been hurt too badly in the crash for the guests to see what had happened to him. I was relieved it would be closed. Even if Uncle Dean had looked perfect, I didn’t think Penny would be able to handle seeing her husband’s deceased body.Everything had been taken care of when we arrived. The florists had already set up all the flowers, the casket was in place, and the reverend was ready with his sermon. He took over from me, consoling Penny, and I was relieved to get away from her for a short while. Her sorrow was so intense, it threatened to drag me down, and I had so much going on already.I walked out of the church and stood on the little pathway that wound through trees and shrubs to the side. I had been thinking a lot about my life and where I was going to live it. New York wasn’t my home, but I would have to make it so. I didn’t want to do that without
MilaI should have worked on Wednesday, but one of the other nurses had come to ask me if I could trade shifts with her. Her sister was getting married, and she hadn’t been able to get time off. A sister’s wedding was a big deal, and I agreed. There was no reason for me to have a weekend free. All I did these days was work.So, instead of being at work on Wednesday, I had the day off. I took the day to myself, trying to make time to pamper myself. I never did it. I went to a nail salon to have my nails done—as a nurse, I never made time for something like that. I went to a hairdresser to cut my hair a little shorter again, and I had a three-hour nap in the afternoon. When I finally woke up, I felt more like myself.So much had happened lately, I hadn’t focused on myself at all, and it was good to put myself first and really take some me-time.After Skylar’s workday ended, she called me.“You mentioned you’re off today instead of having a long shift,” she said. “Care for some company?
BenI had sold the company as Jerrod had suggested. I had thought about it long and hard and decided it was what I wanted. I hadn’t wanted to be the CEO of the company in the first place. Not when my father had left it to me and not when Uncle Dean had, either. I had put in the work and found someone worthy of the company. I heard it was thriving, now.The money received for the company sale had been enough to pay Brantley, and I still had enough left to give Penny an amount. I felt Uncle Dean’s widow had deserved a bit of an allowance after everything she had been through because of my father.After Brantley and Penny, I had bought a large house in Portland for me, Mila and Landon, and I had put the rest away as an investment for the future. We had so much money we would never struggle, even if we both stopped working.Mila and I were both working because we loved what we did. Mila didn’t want to stop nursing after she had Landon, and I understood. She asked for fewer shifts so that
BenSeven Months LaterWhen I unlocked the door to the house I had bought six months ago, I was stepping over the threshold as a father. It was the first time, and I was very aware of it. A lump rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down.“Ready?” I asked Mila. She nodded and climbed out of the car. She moved comfortably. It was amazing how women bounced back from giving birth in no more than a day or two. It would have been different if she had had a C-section or something, but Mila had given birth naturally.She opened the car door and lifted the carrier out of its brace.“I’m coming,” I said, running to her. I took the carrier from her so she didn’t have to strain herself and put my arm around her as I carried little Landon in the other hand.Mila had given birth to a beautiful baby boy twenty-four hours ago. It had been a beautiful surprise. I would have been just as proud if it was a girl, but I was so happy it was a boy. Landon Atwood had a great ring to it.We walked together t
MilaAgain, he didn’t touch my pussy even though he came so close. Instead, he moved up my hip bones and kissed my stomach, my ribs, moving past my breasts to my shoulders and working his way down one arm. When he reached my fingers, he sucked them into his mouth and played with his tongue around them. It was a strange feeling, ticklish and such a turn on.Ben let go of my hand and moved across my chest, avoiding my breasts, moving over my shoulder and down my other arm. When he reached my fingers, I was just about losing my mind with lust. I wanted him inside me so badly, and he’d been teasing me by not touching any of the areas I so desperately wanted him to touch.When Ben pressed his fingers against my pussy, I jumped. I had wanted it so badly, now that I had it, it was like a jolt of electricity shooting into my body. Ben pressed his thumb against my clit and pushed two fingers into me. He moved his thumb while curling his fingers over my G-spot, and it didn’t take long at all be
MilaLate on Friday night, my phone rang. I was already sleeping, and it took me a while to find my phone on my nightstand.“Are you awake?” Ben asked.I smiled. “I am, now.”“Can I come over? I have great news.”I looked at the alarm clock next to my lamp. The red numbers said it was well after midnight.“Of course,” I said.Half an hour later, a cab pulled up and dropped Ben off in front of my apartment building. I had been looking out for him. I buzzed him up before he rang my apartment, and I smiled when he stumbled up the step to the front door. He had been drinking.When I opened the front door to him, he stepped forward and folded me against his body.“I missed you,” he said.I laughed. “It’s been two days.”“Two days too many,” Ben said. He smelled like beer and cigarette smoke.“Where were you?” I asked.“I was at the bar, having drinks with Jerrod.”I raised my eyebrows. It was good news. Unexpected, and good. I led Ben into my apartment and closed the door.“Get back in bed
BenI shook my head. “I won’t. I know I haven’t treated her right, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m sticking around, now. I’m not going anywhere. I’m madly in love with her. Mila is one of a kind.”Jerrod nodded. “She is. And I can see how you feel about her. I have no doubt that you care for her. It just pissed me off so much that I was the last to know.”“I get that,” I said. I really did feel bad for what we’d done. But there was only so many times I could say I was sorry. I knew that this time, Jerrod had accepted my apology.Jerrod nodded again. We both drank our beers, listening to the music and watching the crowds shuffle in. As the night dragged on, the bar filled up with patrons who were done with their work week and looking for a way to unwind.“It’s just all so unexpected,” Jerrod said after a while. “Your relationship with her when I still see her as a kid is one thing. But now she’s pregnant. Man.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t know what to m
BenOn Friday I walked into the bar where Mila and I had gone with Jerrod and Skylar. We hadn’t been careful enough that night, and Jerrod had seen us together. That was when the trouble had all started between me and Jerrod, and I was hoping this was where it would all end.I had texted him, telling him I was going to be at the bar tonight. I wanted to talk to him, but I was tired of running after him when he wasn’t interested. I had asked him to come to meet me. He hadn’t replied. I had told him what time I was going to be there, and now that I was here, time would tell if Jerrod was going to show up to talk to me.My wristwatch told me it was eight o’clock. I would give him half an hour before I left again.Until now, everything had been about Jerrod. He had been the one who had been wronged. Mila and I had kept our relationship secret from him when it was already a no-no that his best friend and younger sister were dating. It had been wrong not to tell him and even worse that he h
Mila“I love you, too.”There was nothing else to say. Words couldn’t describe how we both felt at that moment.After I changed back into my clothes, we met Dr. Holt in her office again. She gave me a prescription for prenatal supplements and an eating plan with do’s and don’ts for the next seven months.“I’ll see you back here in about eight weeks,” Dr. Holt said. “Then we’ll find out what you’re having.”When Ben and I walked back to the car, I felt like I was walking on air. Everything felt different, now. I felt more ready to be a mother, to have this baby and to raise it, than I had before. Now that I had seen the baby, I knew that I wanted all of this.Did Ben feel the same?“You know, you still have time to back out of this,” I said to Ben. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me.“What makes you think I would want that?” he asked.I pulled up my shoulder. I couldn’t guarantee that this feeling of amazement was mutual. Ben took a step closer to me and kissed me long and
MilaOn Wednesday I had the day off again and had scheduled an ultrasound. Now that everyone knew about me being pregnant, it was time to meet the baby.Ben was with me. It made me less nervous, but only a little. It was crazy how tense I was about the appointment, even though everything was out in the open now. The idea that I was pregnant, that we were having a baby, was terrifying.It had all happened so fast. It had been mere weeks since Ben had come back to Portland for the first time and now we were starting a family together. There were nights when I was sleepless and in a fit of panic, wondering how the hell we were going to get through this. We had been a part of each other’s lives for years, but when it came down to knowing each other, we were practically strangers.When I was with Ben, like now, all my worries melted away. We were great together. He was so attentive now that I was pregnant, and since he had told me he was going to stay, our relationship was stronger than ev
BenI let go of Jerrod’s shirt. He stumbled back, his expression surprised. Maybe he had expected me to throw the first punch. He had been ready to fight me. But I wasn’t here for that. I hadn’t come to beat up my best friend. I had only come to set the record straight.“She’s a great person, Jerrod. You know that. She doesn’t deserve this shit.”I turned around and left the office. Jerrod stayed behind, gaping. I had never been one to back down from a fight. There had been enough fights in high school that had shown Jerrod that. But this wasn’t high school, and Jerrod was like a brother to me. If I ended up with Mila, he would be a brother-in-law, in fact.So, I wasn’t going to go there.Instead, I headed back home like a good boy to seethe in private.After I had taken the time to calm down, I phoned Mila.“How are you doing?” I asked.“Better,” she said, and I was relieved. “I came off my shift just now. I’m going to crawl into bed for a few hours.“Have you told your parents yet?”