MilaOn Monday, I was back at the hospital, and life carried on as usual. I had enough work to distract me from everything that had happened, or hadn’t happened, between me and Ben.I had struggled on Sunday. My mind had jumped between being upset, angry, and hurt that he had left me hanging after things had escalated between us and understanding why he’d left. I hadn’t been able to get him off my mind at all, and Skylar’d had a family thing she couldn’t get out of, so I hadn’t even been able to cry on her shoulder.But I was a big girl, and I could handle shit myself. Being back in my normal routine and having enough work to keep me busy helped a lot.Despite having work to distract me, even work made me think of Ben in some ways. The two firefighters who hadn’t been too severely injured were being moved out of the ICU and into regular recovery rooms. I was relieved for Ben’s sake. And for theirs.It was horrible to end up in the ICU at all. I was so glad they were doing as well as t
MilaThe phone rang, and I waited for Ben to pick up. After a couple of rings, it rolled over to Ben’s voice mail. I felt a little deflated. I had hoped to speak to him in person so we could clear the air, but he was probably busy. Maybe it was another emergency, although I hadn’t heard anything.“Hi, it’s me,” I said after the tone, “I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. And let you know what’s going on here at the hospital. Two of the firefighters have been moved to regular recovery rooms, so that’s great. They’re healing well, and they’ll be out of here soon. Jonas is still in ICU, but he’s awake and making progress. At this rate, he shouldn’t be here much longer.” I paused. “I just wanted to let you know. Give me a call when you have a chance.”I hesitated, not sure how to end the call. In the end, I merely hung up. I had left him a message, and that counted for something.My shift finished at a decent time. When we didn’t have a lot of ICU patients and there were
BenThe reading of the will had been successful, not that it was ever a positive thing. The whole process had made me think of my dad’s death and the proceedings we’d had to follow back then.It was all eerily similar, and I hated being stuck here again. It was like a very fucked up déjà vu.Tuesday morning was the funeral. Uncle Dean could finally be laid to rest now that everything had been taken care of. I hadn’t wanted to go. I didn’t want to deal with the pain and suffering that came with a funeral, with the emotions of hundreds of people that clung to me like spiderwebs, making my own sorrow so much worse. I just wanted to go home.With how thing stood right now, it looked like this was going to become my home. Uncle Dean had left me the company. It was ironic that he had given me so much money to buy me out, and I had ended up with the company anyway. It was a twisted version of the gift that kept on giving.I couldn’t just leave and not attend the funeral. A lot of the people
BenAfter I helped Penny ensure the reception was ready, we headed toward the church. It would be a closed casket. Uncle Dean had been hurt too badly in the crash for the guests to see what had happened to him. I was relieved it would be closed. Even if Uncle Dean had looked perfect, I didn’t think Penny would be able to handle seeing her husband’s deceased body.Everything had been taken care of when we arrived. The florists had already set up all the flowers, the casket was in place, and the reverend was ready with his sermon. He took over from me, consoling Penny, and I was relieved to get away from her for a short while. Her sorrow was so intense, it threatened to drag me down, and I had so much going on already.I walked out of the church and stood on the little pathway that wound through trees and shrubs to the side. I had been thinking a lot about my life and where I was going to live it. New York wasn’t my home, but I would have to make it so. I didn’t want to do that without
MilaI should have worked on Wednesday, but one of the other nurses had come to ask me if I could trade shifts with her. Her sister was getting married, and she hadn’t been able to get time off. A sister’s wedding was a big deal, and I agreed. There was no reason for me to have a weekend free. All I did these days was work.So, instead of being at work on Wednesday, I had the day off. I took the day to myself, trying to make time to pamper myself. I never did it. I went to a nail salon to have my nails done—as a nurse, I never made time for something like that. I went to a hairdresser to cut my hair a little shorter again, and I had a three-hour nap in the afternoon. When I finally woke up, I felt more like myself.So much had happened lately, I hadn’t focused on myself at all, and it was good to put myself first and really take some me-time.After Skylar’s workday ended, she called me.“You mentioned you’re off today instead of having a long shift,” she said. “Care for some company?
MilaSkylar groaned. “This is so frustrating.”“Yeah, it is,” I said, and I thought back to the session with my hand and pink dildo that had followed after Ben had left me. I didn’t tell Skylar about that, though. She didn’t need to know I had thought about Ben fucking me the entire time I’d been getting myself off.“We haven’t talked since he left,” I said. “Somehow, I doubt we will talk.”“What do you mean?” Skylar asked.I drank the last bit of wine in my glass and held it out for Skylar to pour me another one. When the glass was full, I looked down at the red liquid.“He’s gone. He left to go back to New York.”Skylar frowned and blinked as if what I had said didn’t compute.“We’re talking about now, right?”I nodded. “Apparently, he left on Sunday.”“Apparently?”“Yeah, he didn’t even let me know he was going. It was the reading of his uncle’s will on Monday, but he never told me he was leaving. I heard it from Jerrod on Monday night. He hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye.”“Wh
BenAfter everything had been taken care of with Uncle Dean’s will and the funeral, it was time to wrap things up in Portland. On Friday, my plane touched down, and I was back in Oregon.Before, I had been excited about going back. Now, I dreaded it. I was headed to the place where I had grown up, the place I loved and called home, to say my final goodbye. I had to take care of a few things here that I hadn’t been able to handle right away.My apartment was the first thing I needed to deal with. I had to give up the lease.When I had come to Portland, I had rented a place. I had signed the lease for a year, thinking I wanted to look around until I found the perfect property so I could build a house exactly how I liked it. Now, that was going to fall through.Maybe I could do something like that in New York. The idea didn’t seem nearly as enticing when I thought about the big city, all its gray buildings and yellow cabs and how much it just didn’t seem to be the place I wanted to call
Ben“That was quick,” I said when we were done. We’d packed it all up into three boxes that I would send to New York when I flew back. “Let’s go have a drink for old time’s sake.”Jerrod rolled his eyes. “I don’t actually enjoy celebrating old time’s sake because it means you’re leaving, but I can do with a drink.”We drove to The Cottage and walked to the bar. Jerrod stepped behind the bar and poured us each a beer straight from the beer tap.“So, are you ready to be the Big Boss again?” Jerrod asked when we sat on the bar stools and sipped our beer.“I guess so,” I said. “I mean, I know what to do. I don’t need anyone to show me the ropes.” A pang shot through my chest when I said it. Uncle Dean had shown me the ropes the last time. And now he was gone.“The perks of being in charge is that you get to leave from the office whenever you feel like it. Plus, you can have as many women as you like.”I chuckled, and we clinked our beer glasses in salute to what Jerrod has just said, but