Ben“You know, you’re mad about Mila, but I’m leaving so it’s not like we’re going to be together,” I said. Maybe it was a bit of a cheap shot. I was pissed off. But it was true. Yeah, I fucked up. But surely Jerrod could get over that, especially since the reason why he hated my guts now wasn’t even there anymore.Jerrod shook his head, leaning on the bar with both hands.“You’re a son of a bitch to leave her like this, you know that?” Jerrod asked.I frowned. “So, now I’m wrong for leaving?”“You said you were serious about her. Not serious enough, obviously. Must be nice to live a life where you can change your mind like that all the time without worrying about how people feel. Is it the money that’s doing this to you?”“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked.Jerrod looked over my shoulder at the diners. Maybe it was because I was swearing. No one was close enough to have heard me, though. And he had been just as bad. I was almost sure of it. Besides, if Jerrod and I had b
MilaBy Friday, I still hadn’t spoken to Skylar about our fight. I hated that we weren’t okay. Skylar had been my best friend since high school, and we talked all the time about everything and anything. It sucked that I didn’t have my best friend with me, just now that I was going through what was easily the worst time of my life.The only other thing I knew how to do in the face of adversity was to escape. I eventually faced the music, but when things became too hard to bear and too much to think about, work was my way out. I buried myself in my routines and rounds, taking care of the patients as if they were the only thing that counted in my life. I filled my reports out meticulously, and I took shorter lunch breaks and worked longer hours.Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to push myself so hard, considering that I had been through a traumatic experience and I was pregnant on top of it. But it was exactly the reason why I was pushing so hard.Ben wanted to see me again, and it was jus
MilaI was suddenly terrified. I looked around the parking lot, looking for people who might come to harm me. A young man was walking to his car. I watched until he climbed in and drove away. He wasn’t a danger to me.But he’d had dark blond hair, and he hadn’t been very muscular. It reminded me of Victor.I climbed out of the car, leaving my food behind, and hurried to the hospital entrance. I couldn’t handle being in my car. I had hoped to doze off for a couple of minutes to reboot my tired body, but I was safer inside. Even if it was just from my own demons.When I sat in the locker room on one of the wooden benches, my back against the cold tiles, I could finally breathe again.Everyone knew what I had been through. They tried to be there for me, asked me how I was doing and offered me all the time I needed to myself. Even if I was already far over the number of days off I was allowed each year. But none of them knew what I was struggling with. There was nothing they could do to m
BenLate afternoon on Saturday I drove to Mila’s place to pick her up.I was nervous about seeing Mila, and I wasn’t sure why. I knew her. We had spent so much time together in New York. When I was around Mila, I felt comfortable and at ease and completely able to be myself.So, it was very out of place to feel nervous. I didn’t get nervous very often as a rule.When I arrived at Mila’s place and buzzed up to her apartment, she came down almost immediately. Had she been waiting for me? I liked to think so.When she appeared, my heart skipped a beat. She looked amazing in jeans and a green blouse with ballerina flats. Her hair had been pulled back, and she looked beautiful as ever.I had fallen for her for a reason. Not only because of her beauty, but she was also a wonderful person, and I hated the idea of having to leave her behind yet again. I really was in love with her.Which was exactly the kind of thing I shouldn’t have been thinking about. I pushed the thoughts away because lov
BenMila shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes slid from the window to the table, not making any eye contact with me.“I get nightmares sometimes, flashbacks that freak me out. But I think that will change with time and patience.”I reached for her hand across the table.“I’m so sorry this happened,” I said. I felt terrible.“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do this,” Mila said, finally looking at me. Her big brown eyes were sadder than I’d ever seen them. I wished I could make all of this go away, give her the happiness she deserved. It didn’t help that I was leaving, on top of everything. I knew that it would affect her negatively, too. But it was for her safety. I had to keep telling myself that. I was doing the right thing. “I still feel like it’s my fault,” I admitted. “It’s because of the company and everything my dad did.”“So, you inherited some family issues. You wouldn’t be the first one,” she said with a chuckle. I smiled. Mila was always ready to look at the bright side and shrug th
MilaBen had his arm wrapped around me and his body heat enveloped me. I felt safe and warm with him. His chest rose and fell slowly as he concentrated on the movie. His face was close to mine. When I glanced up, his lips were almost at eye-level, and I couldn’t help but stare at them.Once upon a time, I had crushed on him, and I had fantasized over what those lips tasted like. Now, I knew. I had been there. We had kissed each other many times over the past several weeks. But it wasn’t enough. With Ben, it was never enough.Ben realized I was staring at him, and he looked down at me with a smile.“You’re not concentrating on the movie,” he said.“I’ve seen it,” I said softly.Ben’s expression changed. Maybe he knew what I was thinking. Sometimes, he seemed to know exactly where my head was at. My eyes slid to his lips, and Ben put his free hand on my cheek, dipping his head to press his lips against mine.The kiss started off gently, his lips brushing against mine, his tongue trailin
MilaI didn’t have a chance to answer. Ben dove between my legs and closed his lips over my pussy, and I cried out. He flicked his tongue over my clit a few times before he sucked on it and I writhed on the bed, moving my hips. His tongue worked magic on my clit, and his saliva combined with my sex only made me so much wetter.Ben slid a finger into my entrance, sucking harder on my clit at the same time, and I orgasmed. It had come hard and fast. My muscles contracted. I cried out, and I could almost swear Ben chuckled with his mouth against my pussy.When I came down from my release, panting and whimpering, Ben kissed his way up my body to my lips. When he kissed me on the mouth, I could taste myself.Ben climbed off the bed and pulled his clothes off. I hadn’t gotten around to that yet, but Ben made fast work of it. In no time, he was naked. He also rolled a condom on. My stomach clenched when I thought about not needing it anymore, but I didn’t entertain it. I wasn’t going to let
BenOn Sunday morning, I woke up in Mila’s bed again. She was curled up on her side, her back to me, and I lay behind her, my arm was thrown over her body, holding her against me. I could do this for the rest of my life, I thought.I had to stop thinking like this. If I was going to leave, I couldn’t commit my emotions the way I was now. Mila was the perfect woman. I wanted desperately to be with her, but she deserved someone who was here for her completely, not someone who was torn between here and New York, who was distracted by business problems.How many excuses was I going to come up with? I knew what I wanted. But I knew what I had to do, too. And they were not the same thing. I had to accept that and stop arguing with myself about this.Mila and I had spent an amazing time in New York when she had been there, despite what she had been through. And last night with her had been wonderful, from the dinner and the conversation to the walk on the beach to coming back here and not wa
BenI had sold the company as Jerrod had suggested. I had thought about it long and hard and decided it was what I wanted. I hadn’t wanted to be the CEO of the company in the first place. Not when my father had left it to me and not when Uncle Dean had, either. I had put in the work and found someone worthy of the company. I heard it was thriving, now.The money received for the company sale had been enough to pay Brantley, and I still had enough left to give Penny an amount. I felt Uncle Dean’s widow had deserved a bit of an allowance after everything she had been through because of my father.After Brantley and Penny, I had bought a large house in Portland for me, Mila and Landon, and I had put the rest away as an investment for the future. We had so much money we would never struggle, even if we both stopped working.Mila and I were both working because we loved what we did. Mila didn’t want to stop nursing after she had Landon, and I understood. She asked for fewer shifts so that
BenSeven Months LaterWhen I unlocked the door to the house I had bought six months ago, I was stepping over the threshold as a father. It was the first time, and I was very aware of it. A lump rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down.“Ready?” I asked Mila. She nodded and climbed out of the car. She moved comfortably. It was amazing how women bounced back from giving birth in no more than a day or two. It would have been different if she had had a C-section or something, but Mila had given birth naturally.She opened the car door and lifted the carrier out of its brace.“I’m coming,” I said, running to her. I took the carrier from her so she didn’t have to strain herself and put my arm around her as I carried little Landon in the other hand.Mila had given birth to a beautiful baby boy twenty-four hours ago. It had been a beautiful surprise. I would have been just as proud if it was a girl, but I was so happy it was a boy. Landon Atwood had a great ring to it.We walked together t
MilaAgain, he didn’t touch my pussy even though he came so close. Instead, he moved up my hip bones and kissed my stomach, my ribs, moving past my breasts to my shoulders and working his way down one arm. When he reached my fingers, he sucked them into his mouth and played with his tongue around them. It was a strange feeling, ticklish and such a turn on.Ben let go of my hand and moved across my chest, avoiding my breasts, moving over my shoulder and down my other arm. When he reached my fingers, I was just about losing my mind with lust. I wanted him inside me so badly, and he’d been teasing me by not touching any of the areas I so desperately wanted him to touch.When Ben pressed his fingers against my pussy, I jumped. I had wanted it so badly, now that I had it, it was like a jolt of electricity shooting into my body. Ben pressed his thumb against my clit and pushed two fingers into me. He moved his thumb while curling his fingers over my G-spot, and it didn’t take long at all be
MilaLate on Friday night, my phone rang. I was already sleeping, and it took me a while to find my phone on my nightstand.“Are you awake?” Ben asked.I smiled. “I am, now.”“Can I come over? I have great news.”I looked at the alarm clock next to my lamp. The red numbers said it was well after midnight.“Of course,” I said.Half an hour later, a cab pulled up and dropped Ben off in front of my apartment building. I had been looking out for him. I buzzed him up before he rang my apartment, and I smiled when he stumbled up the step to the front door. He had been drinking.When I opened the front door to him, he stepped forward and folded me against his body.“I missed you,” he said.I laughed. “It’s been two days.”“Two days too many,” Ben said. He smelled like beer and cigarette smoke.“Where were you?” I asked.“I was at the bar, having drinks with Jerrod.”I raised my eyebrows. It was good news. Unexpected, and good. I led Ben into my apartment and closed the door.“Get back in bed
BenI shook my head. “I won’t. I know I haven’t treated her right, but I thought I was doing the right thing. I’m sticking around, now. I’m not going anywhere. I’m madly in love with her. Mila is one of a kind.”Jerrod nodded. “She is. And I can see how you feel about her. I have no doubt that you care for her. It just pissed me off so much that I was the last to know.”“I get that,” I said. I really did feel bad for what we’d done. But there was only so many times I could say I was sorry. I knew that this time, Jerrod had accepted my apology.Jerrod nodded again. We both drank our beers, listening to the music and watching the crowds shuffle in. As the night dragged on, the bar filled up with patrons who were done with their work week and looking for a way to unwind.“It’s just all so unexpected,” Jerrod said after a while. “Your relationship with her when I still see her as a kid is one thing. But now she’s pregnant. Man.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t know what to m
BenOn Friday I walked into the bar where Mila and I had gone with Jerrod and Skylar. We hadn’t been careful enough that night, and Jerrod had seen us together. That was when the trouble had all started between me and Jerrod, and I was hoping this was where it would all end.I had texted him, telling him I was going to be at the bar tonight. I wanted to talk to him, but I was tired of running after him when he wasn’t interested. I had asked him to come to meet me. He hadn’t replied. I had told him what time I was going to be there, and now that I was here, time would tell if Jerrod was going to show up to talk to me.My wristwatch told me it was eight o’clock. I would give him half an hour before I left again.Until now, everything had been about Jerrod. He had been the one who had been wronged. Mila and I had kept our relationship secret from him when it was already a no-no that his best friend and younger sister were dating. It had been wrong not to tell him and even worse that he h
Mila“I love you, too.”There was nothing else to say. Words couldn’t describe how we both felt at that moment.After I changed back into my clothes, we met Dr. Holt in her office again. She gave me a prescription for prenatal supplements and an eating plan with do’s and don’ts for the next seven months.“I’ll see you back here in about eight weeks,” Dr. Holt said. “Then we’ll find out what you’re having.”When Ben and I walked back to the car, I felt like I was walking on air. Everything felt different, now. I felt more ready to be a mother, to have this baby and to raise it, than I had before. Now that I had seen the baby, I knew that I wanted all of this.Did Ben feel the same?“You know, you still have time to back out of this,” I said to Ben. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me.“What makes you think I would want that?” he asked.I pulled up my shoulder. I couldn’t guarantee that this feeling of amazement was mutual. Ben took a step closer to me and kissed me long and
MilaOn Wednesday I had the day off again and had scheduled an ultrasound. Now that everyone knew about me being pregnant, it was time to meet the baby.Ben was with me. It made me less nervous, but only a little. It was crazy how tense I was about the appointment, even though everything was out in the open now. The idea that I was pregnant, that we were having a baby, was terrifying.It had all happened so fast. It had been mere weeks since Ben had come back to Portland for the first time and now we were starting a family together. There were nights when I was sleepless and in a fit of panic, wondering how the hell we were going to get through this. We had been a part of each other’s lives for years, but when it came down to knowing each other, we were practically strangers.When I was with Ben, like now, all my worries melted away. We were great together. He was so attentive now that I was pregnant, and since he had told me he was going to stay, our relationship was stronger than ev
BenI let go of Jerrod’s shirt. He stumbled back, his expression surprised. Maybe he had expected me to throw the first punch. He had been ready to fight me. But I wasn’t here for that. I hadn’t come to beat up my best friend. I had only come to set the record straight.“She’s a great person, Jerrod. You know that. She doesn’t deserve this shit.”I turned around and left the office. Jerrod stayed behind, gaping. I had never been one to back down from a fight. There had been enough fights in high school that had shown Jerrod that. But this wasn’t high school, and Jerrod was like a brother to me. If I ended up with Mila, he would be a brother-in-law, in fact.So, I wasn’t going to go there.Instead, I headed back home like a good boy to seethe in private.After I had taken the time to calm down, I phoned Mila.“How are you doing?” I asked.“Better,” she said, and I was relieved. “I came off my shift just now. I’m going to crawl into bed for a few hours.“Have you told your parents yet?”