Chapter 2: The Darkness of Separation

Bella

I feel like a lost child seeking help, but there's no one out there who could possibly save me. The world looks scarier than it was before, and I see nothing except its dark side. These aren’t just thoughts; they’re my reality. I'm afraid, not only because of Alex's absence but because my baby, who did nothing wrong, might end up living without a father.

As I was walking across the silent road, I suddenly lost my balance. I tried to keep myself standing, but I didn’t have the energy. Just when I felt like I was going to completely fall, I suddenly felt the warmth of someone's arms catching me, and then everything went blurry.

“Bella, I’m glad you’re awake.” It was my best friend Kristof, once again saving me from harm.

“Hey,” I uttered as I tried to sit up. He quickly offered me help, and as he got close, I felt bad seeing his puffy eyes, as if he hadn't slept.

“You should have got some more sleep,” he told me as he sat on a chair next to the bed.

“I think you need it more than I do,” I said, looking at his puffy eyes. He became self-conscious, touching his face as if trying to get something off it, making me chuckle. “No, it’s nothing like that. Your eyes look like they’re going to explode at any minute.”

“I see,” he let out an awkward chuckle. “But don’t mind me. I can sleep once I get home. You should get a bit more sleep, becasue you’ll be discharged at 4 PM.”

“No, I’m okay now,” I insisted.

“Uhm, Bella, did you perhaps visit him again?” he wondered.

Kristof and I are very open with each other. We've been best friends since grade school, and there’s nothing I can hide from him since he can read my expressions very well. If I lie, he notices it right away, same as I do with him.

I nodded in response. “But his mother didn’t let me see him. What did I expect? She even told me not to use this child just to get him back.” I took a deep breath, trying to stop my tears.

“I know I shouldn’t be the one telling you to stop fighting for that man, because I know how much you love him, but Bella, I think—”

“You think what, Kristof?” I cut him off.

I’m once again being too emotional. I’m not sure if it’s because of the pregnancy, or if deep down, I know that Alex's mother and Kristof are right.

“Look, I know you’re mad, and it wasn’t my intention to make you feel that, but Bella, when I brought you here, the doctor said your child would be at risk if you get more stressed.” He explained.

I didn’t think about that. What kind of mother am I, risking my child’s life just to be rejected by his or her father’s family?

“Bella, you can stay away from them for now; it’s for the better.” I know Kristof is saying this for my sake. How come someone who’s not even related to my child cares so much about its safety?

I didn’t reply, as a nurse entered the room to check on me and remove the IV. Kristof and I remained silent until we reached his car. While he was driving, I couldn’t help but look at him to see if he was upset or disappointed in me.

“You can ask me,” he suddenly said. “If you’re wondering if I told Nana and Pop-Pop what happened, don’t worry, as always, your secrets are safe with me.”

We stopped a few meters away from our front gate since his car wouldn’t fit in the narrow entrance. I thought he’d leave, but he decided to accompany me. Just before we reached the gate, I turned to him, “I know you and Alex’s mother are right. I should distance myself from him. But I can’t bear the thought of my child growing up without a father.”

I waited for his response, even a simple nod, but he remained silent. I turned to open the gate, but he gently grabbed my arm.

“Then, I can be the father.”