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2024-10-29 19:42:56Hello, everyone!
Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate every single commet and gem <3 I'm just letting you all know that there won't be any updates this week. Between Hate and Fate is officially finished being written, and I edit daily as I update, but this week I won't be able to edit as I go. I'm moving this week, so I've put all my projects on the back burner for now. You might still see Alpha Nero being updated because there are scheduled chapters set to go this week. I wasn't able to do that with this book, unfortunately.
See you on the 1st!
J. Tarr x x x
PS - This author note won't cost you anything x x
Related chapters
Between Hate and Fate 26. Katya
The cabin is too quiet. Too still. I’ve spent most of the day avoiding Ruslan, not saying much, barely even looking at him. But it doesn’t help. His presence fills every corner of this place, and I can’t ignore him no matter how hard I try.He’s everywhere.Even now, as I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts keep drifting back to him. It’s maddening, how aware I am of him. I can feel him, feel the weight of the bond between us, and no matter what I do, I can’t shake it.I roll onto my side, pulling the blanket tighter around me, but the thoughts won’t stop. His face flashes in my mind, and it’s like I can still see him standing in the kitchen earlier today, flipping pancakes like it was the most normal thing in the world. But it wasn’t. Nothing about him is normal. The scars on his chest, the roughness in his voice, the way he moves with this quiet, deadly power. Ruslan is a real Alpha—one who’s fought, who’s led his pack, one who’s had everything ripped away from him.A
Between Hate and Fate 27. Katya
The next morning, I’m in the kitchen, moving on autopilot. My mind is still reeling from everything that happened last night with Ruslan, and the bond between us feels more intense than ever. I try to focus on breakfast, cracking eggs into a bowl, stirring the batter for pancakes, but my hands are shaking. I can’t stop thinking about the way he looked at me, the tension between us so thick I could barely breathe. I shouldn’t want him like this, but I do, and that terrifies me.The sound of tires crunching on the gravel outside breaks through my thoughts, and I freeze. A car? I wasn’t expecting anyone. My heart leaps into my throat, and I drop the spatula, rushing toward the door. I fling it open and step onto the porch, squinting into the bright morning sunlight.It’s Tomas.I barely have time to process the relief that washes over me before I’m running toward him. As soon as he steps out of the car, I throw my arms around him, hugging him tightly.“Oh my God, Tomas,” I breathe, my
Between Hate and Fate 28. Ruslan
I lean against the doorframe, just out of sight, my back pressed against the wood as I listen to Katya’s sobs fill the air. Tomas’s car just pulled away, the sound of the engine fading into the distance, and I heard every single word they exchanged. Heard him lie through his teeth, twisting the truth to protect himself.My jaw tightens as her sobs grow louder. She’s broken, shattered by the truth she just learned. I wait until I’m sure Tomas’s gone, then push myself off the doorframe and step outside. Katya is still on the ground, curled up in herself, her body shaking with sobs. It hits me like a knife to my heart, seeing her like this. I’ve seen her angry, strong, defiant... but this? She’s completely undone. I hate that it’s because of this bond—this thing neither of us asked for.I walk toward her, my steps slow, purposeful, trying not to spook her. She doesn’t notice me at first, too lost in her grief. When I’m close enough, I stop and take a breath, steadying myself before spe
Between Hate and Fate 29. Katya
I stand at the doorway of the cabin, arms crossed, watching Ruslan load the last of our bags into the SUV. The one that’s been parked in the garage for who knows how long, just sitting there waiting to be used. I can’t believe I asked him to come with me. What was I thinking? But, despite the strangeness of it, I actually feel … relieved. Maybe even a little free.My pack is gone. My title as Luna ripped away. Exile doesn’t exactly sound like freedom, but in a twisted way, it is. For the first time in a long time, I’m not responsible for anyone but myself. There’s no pack politics, no duties. No expectations.It’s strange, really. I thought I’d be more devastated, but instead, I feel like I can breathe for the first time.Ruslan shuts the trunk with a loud thud, dusting off his hands. He glances over at me, his face neutral but his eyes flicker with something, maybe curiosity. “So,” he says, wiping sweat off his brow, “where to?”The question throws me off for a second. Where to? Th
Between Hate and Fate 30. Ruslan
It’s been two hours since we landed in Russia, and Katya hasn’t stopped talking since we got off the plane. Not that I mind—it’s actually kind of nice to hear her voice instead of the silence we’ve been sharing most of the time—but it’s starting to wear on me. She’s been going on about her family, her mother, and some cottage in the Visokaya mountains that was left for her. A place she hasn’t seen in years.“...so I think we could head there today,” Katya’s saying as we walk towards our rental car. “The cottage isn’t far, maybe a few hours’ drive. It’s small, but it’ll be perfect for starting fresh. I can’t believe it’s still in the family, considering my mother and I... well, we don’t talk anymore.”She pauses, glancing up at me, probably expecting some kind of response. I nod, forcing a smile. “Sounds like a good place to start over.”I’m half-listening, mostly because my mind keeps wandering. The cold air, the familiar scent of the trees, the earth, the way the sky stretches over
Between Hate and Fate 31. Katya
The cottage looked like it had been forgotten for years when we first walked in. Dust covered every surface, and the furniture was all mismatched and worn, but underneath all that, I could see its charm. It’s small but cosy, and the location is perfect—tucked away in the mountains, away from everyone and everything.We spent the whole afternoon cleaning up. Ruslan was more helpful than I expected, taking charge of the heavy lifting, repairing the heating system, and getting the hot water running again. Every time I tried to do something even slightly strenuous, he would stop me, reminding me that I’m pregnant, as if I’d forgotten.“Katya, put that down. You shouldn’t be lifting that,” he’d say, his voice gruff but caring.At first, I found it a little annoying, but as the day went on, I realised he was just looking out for me. He wasn’t bossy or overbearing, just ... careful. It was strange, having someone take care of me like that. After everything we’ve been through, I didn’t expe
Between Hate and Fate 32. Katya
The small town is quiet, nestled in the valley just a short drive from the cottage. It’s charming, with narrow streets, colourful storefronts, and locals who seem to know everyone. As we step out of the car, I feel a little out of place. I’ve been in here before, but it’s been so long, and this town feels like it belongs to another time—far removed from everything I’ve known in the past few years.Ruslan, on the other hand, seems completely at ease. He strides confidently down the street, his broad shoulders and rugged appearance standing out, but not in a way that makes anyone wary. Quite the opposite. The locals seem to gravitate toward him, nodding in greeting or offering a quick word as we pass by.I try to keep up, feeling like a ghost as Ruslan does all the talking. His Russian flows effortlessly, a deep drawl that makes my ears perk up every time he speaks. It’s the first time I’ve heard him really speak his mother tongue, and there’s something about it that sends a warm shive
Between Hate and Fate 33. Ruslan
The night air is crisp against my skin as I shift into my wolf form, the bones and muscles twisting, reshaping, until I’m no longer a man but something wild, something raw. The transformation feels natural, like slipping into an old, familiar coat I’d forgotten I still owned. It’s been too long since I’ve let myself run like this, since I’ve let my wolf have control.I take off into the woods behind the cottage, my paws hitting the earth with a steady rhythm. The wind rushes past me, carrying the scent of the trees, the damp earth, and the faintest hint of snow. Everything feels sharper, clearer, as if the night itself is alive, breathing with me.This is what I’ve needed. To run. To breathe. To remember who I am without all the weight of the past, without the constant need to fight or survive. Out here, in the mountains, it’s just me and the wild. No expectations. No battles. No broken promises.My mind is clear. Free. Out here, there’s no past, no future—just the present, just the r
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Between Hate and Fate 47. Katya
The drive to the pack lands feels like a blur. My mind is still caught somewhere between the memories of our little cabin and the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Leaving it behind wasn’t easy, but I know it was the right choice. For me, for the baby, for us. Ruslan’s hand rests on mine as he drives, a steady presence that calms my nerves, but I can feel the tension in him too. This is a big change, for both of us.As we pull into the main driveway leading to the pack house, I take a deep breath, trying to steel myself. The place is huge, much larger than anything I’ve ever known. The sprawling pack lands seem endless, with thick forests surrounding the area and a large, imposing house sitting at the heart of it all. There’s something both intimidating and comforting about it.Ruslan parks the SUV, and as we step out, I spot Anatoly standing in front of the house, waiting for us with a broad grin on his face. He’s flanked by three men, all of them tall and built like warriors. His Gam
Between Hate and Fate 46. Ruslan
Katya arches her back from the bed as I work my tongue around her sensitive clit and curling two fingers inside of her. She’s panting; her grip tightening in my hair as I devour her pussy and needing her to come for me again.Our last night in our piece of heaven, and I need to make it count. She gasps. “Ruslan… I don’t think I can—”“You can and you will, Malyshka,” I growl and flick my tongue faster. Her moans climbing the closer she gets to her orgasm, and when she finally breaks, it’s fucking beautiful.Before she can catch her breath, I slam inside of her and start thrusting. Gods, I can still feel the slivers of her orgasm clenching around my cock and I can’t help but groan at the feel of it.I slip my hand behind her head and she opens her eyes to look at me. Holding her gaze, I move slowly against her; savouring everything I’m feeling at this moment. Her eyes soften as she looks at me, and my heart does this annoying squeeze it always does.“I love you, Katya,” I murmur and I
Between Hate and Fate 45. Ruslan
Sitting on the porch, the cool night air brushing against my skin, I feel the weight of everything pressing down on me. Anatoly’s offer echoes in my mind, repeating over and over. Beta. Joining a pack again. Becoming part of something bigger than just me and Katya.I stare out at the darkened tree line, the quiet hum of the night surrounding me. It’s tempting, I won’t lie. Being in a pack again means protection, stability, a sense of belonging I haven’t had in years. I was an Alpha once, before everything was taken from me. Before Andrei. The pull of pack life, the need to lead, to protect—it’s still in my blood. It’s something I can’t just shake off, no matter how far I’ve run.But the other side of it... It’s not so simple.Katya and I have carved out a fragile peace here in the mountains, away from everything and everyone. No pack politics, no eyes watching our every move, no expectations to meet or traditions to uphold. We’ve been left to figure things out on our own, and someho
Between Hate and Fate 44. Katya
The wind carries the scent of pine and earth as I stand on the porch and watch Ruslan and Anatoly move through the clearing, their heads bent close together as they talk in low, serious voices. They’ve been at it for hours, scouring the area for any sign of the bounty hunters, and inspecting the bodies of the bounty hunters that Ruslan took down last night, trying to figure out who they were working for. Anatoly brought a small army with him—at least a dozen warriors, all loyal to his pack and all on high alert. I’m grateful, but there’s a part of me that’s still uneasy.Watching Ruslan move with such ease, taking command alongside Anatoly, reminds me of what he was before all of this. Before he became a rogue. He was an Alpha. He was strong, a leader, and despite everything, I can still see that in him now.I lean against the porch railing, watching as they talk quietly, their movements efficient, trained. Anatoly gestures for Ruslan to come over to him. I can’t hear what they’re s
Between Hate and Fate 43. Ruslan
Katya moves quickly, her hands shaking as she packs up our things, and I can feel the fear radiating off her in waves. It cuts through me like a knife, but I can’t let it slow us down. We don’t have time; whoever sent those bounty hunters won’t stop. This isn’t the kind of job you can just walk away from.I grab what little we have, throwing the bags into the back of the SUV. Katya’s hands tremble as she climbs into the passenger seat, her face pale and her breaths uneven. I hate seeing her like this—scared, uncertain. I reach out and squeeze her hand as I start the engine, the rumble of the SUV breaking the tense silence between us.“It’ll be okay,” I murmur, trying to keep my voice calm, even though the tension is coiling tight in my chest. “We’ll figure this out.”She nods, but I can see the doubt in her eyes. She’s not just scared—she’s exhausted. Her body has been through so much, and now with the baby... I can’t let this go on. She needs rest. She needs safety. And right now, I’
Between Hate and Fate 42. Ruslan
The second I step outside, the cold air hits my face, and I smell them. Wolves. Not just any wolves—trained killers. My muscles tense, my body going on autopilot as I scan the darkness. They think they’re being quiet, that they’re sneaking up on me, but I know better.I slip through the shadows, my senses sharp, my wolf just beneath the surface. I’ve been in enough of these situations to know what’s coming. These men, whoever sent them, came here to take something from me. They’re going to regret that.The first one lunges from the shadows, teeth bared, aiming straight for my throat. I dodge quickly, spinning to the side and bringing my elbow down on the back of his neck with a sickening crunch. He drops like a rock, barely making a sound as he hits the ground.One down.There’s no time to think—another one charges at me from the left, but I’m ready. I grab him by the throat, slamming him into the nearest tree. His claws tear at my arm, but I ignore the pain. I’ve dealt with worse. He
Between Hate and Fate 41. Katya
The early morning air is crisp as Ruslan and I drive into town. We’re heading there to stock up on supplies for the week and to get a few things for the nursery. It’s a routine we’ve fallen into since we came to this cottage—one that’s become surprisingly comfortable. I glance at him as he drives, his strong hands gripping the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road ahead. Usually, he’s calm on these drives, the tension from his rogue days slipping away as we spend more time in this quiet little town. But today, something feels off.His jaw is clenched, and the way his eyes dart around, scanning every inch of the road, makes my stomach twist with unease. I know Ruslan. He doesn’t get rattled easily, and for him to look like this? It’s enough to put me on edge.I don’t say anything at first, not wanting to disturb whatever thoughts are running through his head. Instead, I lean back in my seat and try to enjoy the ride, but the longer we drive, the more I can’t shake the feeling
Between Hate and Fate 40. Ruslan
I wake up to the warmth of Katya’s body pressed against mine, her soft breath fanning out across my chest. For a moment, I don’t move. I just lie there, letting the reality of last night settle in. She’s here, in my arms, tangled up in the sheets with me, and everything we’ve been fighting against for so long ... it’s all fallen away.I still can’t believe Katya feels the same about me. She’s not running, not pushing me away. Last night, she let it all go, let us be, and for the first time, I felt like we were on the same page. That we weren’t just bound by the bond, but by something real, something we chose.I let out a quiet sigh, brushing a few strands of her tousled hair away from her face. Her lips are slightly parted, her body relaxed, and I can’t help but smile. She stirs in my arms, and I feel the weight of her body shift against mine. Her hair is a mess, falling in wild waves across her shoulders, and when she presses back into me, I feel her pregnant belly pushing against
Between Hate and Fate 39. Katya
The words hang in the air, and for a moment, I think he’s going to pull away, that he’s going to tell me to go back inside and forget this ever happened. But then his lips crash against mine, and everything else fades away.The kiss is desperate, raw, like we’ve both been holding back for too long, and now there’s no stopping it. His hands tighten in my hair, pulling me closer as his body pressed against mine, and I feel the bond between us explode, igniting everything inside me.He picks me up like I weigh nothing and grinds against my core. I wrap my legs around his waist and link my arms around his neck. He growls against my lips when he feels my wet centre against his cock, then he breaks off the kiss.It feels like he can see right through me, and his eyes never leave mine. He lowers me to the ground, all mention of the cold air forgotten, then he rips the silk dress from my body and throws the ruined fabric to the side.“Mine,” he growls as his gaze roves over my body and he dra
