Chapter 4: A human among wolves

//Raven\\

Giselle knew very well how to abuse me emotionally. Her words brought back hidden memories. Memories that brought me nothing but pain. Memories that reminded me of the cruelty of the moon goddess. A reality I can't escape from, is that I am nothing but a wolf-less girl.

I can still recall that unfortunate day.

******Flashback******

*Raven at eighteen - three years ago*

I jumped out of bed, startled by the hard slap exerted on my face. I snapped my head fancily looking for the source of the wake-up call.

" Jess, what the fuck?" I asked silently.

" It's about to start. It's five minutes to midnight! " She exclaimed in a fast sign.

I breathed out harshly before signing. " I'll just take a quick shower."

"No, there's no time to shower. We can't have your father storming in here and dragging your ass out...do we?"

I groaned. There was no way to win an argument with her. I must admit, she is right. My father will throw a fist if I make him and the clan elders wait for a long time.

I ambled to the bathroom yawning and washed my face, trying to get rid of my sleepiness.

I stole a fast glance at my reflection. My sapphire eyes looked tired and swollen. My Raven hair was messy. I sighed and tied my long hair into a high ponytail before I waltzed back to the shared room.

I dressed up in the only leggings I owned and a white shirt as Jess patted my shoulder.

I tilted my head in time to see her sign. " I can see you're completely awake and ready. Come on, let's go. I don't want you to be late on your first shift and you can't keep gamma Shane waiting", Jess said and pushed me out of the room.

"What if I don't want to shift?" I asked.

" You have to, Raven. It's like a right of passage every teenager goes through at age eighteen. I know you're nervous. It's the first time in 10 years you are being let out in the open. It will be great, I promise. " Jess grinned. " You will feel elevated when you get to meet your wolf. You will feel whole, complete and that's a feeling you don't want to miss." Jess smiled as she relived the day of her first shift.

We soon got to the place of meeting, I spotted Gamma Shane leaning with his back against the wall.

" Thank you, Jessica for bringing this Missy out. I will take it from here." Gamma Shane signed.

"You're welcome gamma. " Jess gestured, with a smile tugging her lips before she turned to me.

"This is as far as I go. We will meet after your shift. And prepare to tell me all about it." Jess signed and pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's time to go, Raven. The high ranks are there and they don't like to wait. Are you excited about your first shift? " He asked with a too-happy face.

" I am. " I signed.

Yet I wasn't.

"Me too... I can't wait to meet your wolf. She will help you heal your throat and you'll be able to speak again." Gamma Shane screamed in joy.

Wait! I didn't think of that.... why didn't I think of that? I smacked my face and knocked on my head for being dumb.

The hope of speaking again shone in my chest and I couldn't help but grin.

Gamma Shane and I passed through a long quiet hall and the moment we stepped out of the alpha's house, a gush of wind circled me.

A smile stretched on my lips and my eyes closed as I breathed in a lungful of air.

I felt alive and free for the first time in 10 years. My entire body was jubilating as the wind caressed my skin.

I followed Gamma Shane to the training arena behind the Alpha's house, there, the event would be held.

" Will I be the only wolf to shift today?" I nervously signed.

"No, Raven, your sister Giselle will join the shifting ceremony."

I nodded and walked beside him. I couldn't stop thinking how sad it was to be alone today, on a special day.

Well, it isn't special for me without having my mother, see me shift.

Eighteen years was a magic number for werewolves because our wolves are awakened at eighteen and we get to shift into large badass wolves.

As it was a tradition in the River Moon Clan, our first shift was a great deal. Although it was a small event where all the teens who turned eighteen in the week were made to perform the shifting ceremony together, in the presence of high-rank officials and the alpha family.

It is an exciting day for every teen wolf but not for me. The worst of it all was that I had to shift with my step-sister, the girl who snatched everything I had and who was at the receiving end of my father's affection.

"Are you ready?" Gamma Shane asked. “ Thank you Gamma Shane, for all these years.” I signed in appreciation for the effort he made for me. He had become my strength and right before I will have my wolf who would be my favorite person, I wanted to show my utmost gratitude.

I nodded and exhaled as we entered the training grounds. Almost all the clan elders and beta Alex were there.

My father was standing between them with my stepmother, Danica, clinching onto him like a leash.

Giselle and Eric were by their side smiling and bonding like the perfect family, forgetting that I existed.

My eyes met with my father's indifference and I did nothing to hide the pain in mine. I slowly averted my eyes away from his and took in my surroundings, since this was the only time I get to see the world outside the house.

"Giselle McQueen, step forward..." beta Alex called my step-sister without sparing me a look.

After my dad remarried, he adopted Eric and Giselle legally from the council, giving them his last name.

Though they were not his biological children, he treated them like his own. They are respected by the clan and in our region.

"Thank you, beta Alex and elders gathered here." Giselle bowed to the high-rank wolves " I can't wait to shift and show the world how powerful of a wolf I am. " She muttered confidently and modeled to the center of the arena.

She was all smiles as if she could hardly contain her excitement. All eyes were on her but she didn't seem nervous. She grinned at the little crowd and took off her jacket, ready to shift.

"Raven! Come forward." Beta Alex carelessly called my name and he didn't even add my last name, unlike when he introduced Giselle to the crowd.

"I'm his biological daughter you fucker!" I screamed in my head and pursed my lips in displeasure.

I deserved my Father's last name and not Giselle. My eyes connected with the heavy scrutiny of the high-rank officials as I stepped to the center.

They seemed to be measuring me from head to toe before my eyes shifted to gamma Shane's, who gave me a warm fatherly smile which I gladly returned.

" It's time to shift!" Beta Alex informed us. "Now close your eyes, take a deep lung-full of breath and connect with your wolves."

I closed my eyes firmly, cleared my head and mind, and did as instructed.

Nonetheless, no matter how hard I concentrated, I felt nothing. I couldn't connect with my wolf.

"Open your mind and allow your wolves in. Embrace the pain and allow your wolves to take over", beta Alex expressed, and I felt nothing. There was no pain as he described.

All I could feel was calmness and peace. I tightened my eyelids and breathed in the natural scent of the trees, then I felt my senses heightened. I could smell all the scents surrounding me. I could hear from miles away.

I could hear the whistles of animals in the forest and the flapping of feathers. And through it all, I could feel the eyes of the high-rank wolves poking and burning every corner of my skin.

I was so nervous but I diverted all my strength into finding my inner wolf.

However, nothing happened after the heightened senses. There was nothing to connect to. No inner wolf. No inner voice like Jess described.

Soon a scream came from Giselle and the noise of joints and bones snapping and popping filled the air, forcing me to open my eyes to see Giselle shifting into her wolf.

Her bones reshaped and elongated into a dirty blonde wolf.

"That's my girl!" Luna Danica exclaimed, jumping in joy and clapping at the sight of her daughter's wolf.

"So beautiful', said one of the elders.

" So rare!" said another elder.

"Magnificent!" another exclaimed.

Joyful voices and applause from them vibrated in the arena and her wolf released a howl of celebration, wiggling her tail from side to side.

After their happy moment passed, all eyes turned to me.

"Why didn't you shift?" My dad was first to voice his doubt.

"I...I can't shift" I said to them as gamma Shane interpreted it to those who do not understand sign language.

"You can't or don't want to?" My dad gritted his teeth getting furious by the second.

"I can't..." I looked away in shame. " I felt nothing as described by beta Alex. " I signed with shaky hands.

" What do you mean by, you felt nothing? The moon is at its fullest, so you should be able to connect with your inner wolf! " my dad growled.

I stood there stiff like a wood with my eyes cast on the ground.

"Close your eyes and try again." My father uttered impatiently and I quickly obeyed. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to control my racing heart. I concentrated and prayed to the moon goddess, begging her to release my wolf to me.

" You will feel itching at the back of your mind. That is your wolf calling you”, my father explained.

But nothing of the sort was going on in the back of my mind. We all waited to see....Five minutes came and I opened my eyes to see that I was still standing on two feet and not four pawns.

"That can't be! " Luna Danica gasped.

"Why can't it be?" my dad queried.

" She is wolfless!" She exclaimed and multiple loud gasps roared around me.

" Impossible! " My dad huffed.

" She can't be wolfless. She has two alpha blood running through her veins." beta Alex rumbled, stunned just like I was.

I am wolfless! I asked myself, perplexed.

" A human in our clan!" an elder hissed.

My dad growled so loudly that it caused thunder to strike in the sky. " Shift now, Raven."

I was startled by his deep, inhuman voice.

" I can't."

"I command you to shift!" He roared again, and this time, I was trembling under his glare.

"I can't shift. I wish more than anything but I just can't", I quietly informed him.

My father's eyes were filled with disappointment. He was the alpha of alphas among the six clans in the region. He was known for his strength and unique abilities. He was the legendary silver wolf with unique powers.

Being a human was a disgrace to my father and the pack.

" A human born to two alphas. Impossible "a gray-headed man stated.

" Yes, never have we heard of it, and that too, in our clan. If the word gets out, the image of our clan will be tarnished forever". Luna Danica tried to ignite the hate for me in them.

" She is cursed for killing her mother."

" Why am I not surprised? She is finally paying for Luna Melissa's untimely death. " A high rank wolf blunted out.

" She deserves what she is getting." an Elder spat.

" The moon goddess has spoken." An elder muttered.

" We can't have a cursed child living in our clan. The moon goddess' anger will befall us all if we continue to take her under our wings."

" What can we do then, Luna? Something must be done before the goddess' anger starts manifesting. "

" We only have two options, " Luna Danica stated, and all the elders paid close attention.

" What's that?" Beta Alex asked.

" Well, it's either we kill her and offer her as a sacrifice to appease the goddess or we banish her from the clan," she suggested to the clan elders.

" Hmmm, I think you're right. Killing her should solve this abomination. " I gasped at beta Alex's reply and I shuddered in fear, taking a step back.

" Raven, if you can hear me... you have to run away immediately ", gamma Shane's voice laced with fear and worry appeared in my head and I gasped silently.

I shifted my gaze to him ." No, I can't and I won't ", I panicked. " I have nowhere to go. I don't know the world as you do. I have no money to keep me alive out there. I can't survive alone. Besides, I will be caught before I make it to the border. It is practically a death sentence and I can't leave Jess here. " I also spoke in my head, hoping my words would get to him or he would hear my thoughts the same way I heard his.

Gamma Shane gasped in my head.

" You can mind link?" he asked, surprised.

" I guess I can."

" How possible is that? You didn't have a wolf! You practically are a human."

" I'm clueless like you are." I voiced into the mind link.

" It's good to hear your voice again, Raven, even if it's just a mind link. ".Gamma Shane smiled and I returned it

I glanced at my dad to find him staring at me with a foreign look in his eyes.

That day, I thought my dad would give in to his elders and kill me, but he did the opposite. He ordered Gamma Shane to take me back to my room.

He stood firm against the protests of his elders and his mate. That was the first and last time my father behaved like a real dad after my mother's death.

After that night, I became the wolf-less she-wolf. The human amid wolves. The omega and the maid everyone looked down on. That night, I lost the little respect I had and I was looked down on by the high-rank officials.

***End of flashback.***