5

Step one is admitting it. So yes, I admit I can't wait for this day to arrive.

Step two is facing it. Yes, I'm currently facing him. Not facing him like face to face but yeah, I'm standing at a corner while looking at him with his supermodel-like girlfriend.

Step three is to accept it. After two weeks of harrasment from Toffer and May, I have finally accepted that I'm still not over him. Verbally, not just in my mind. 

Step four is to move on. So this is where it gets tricky. How do I move on if I'm still not over him? Do I listen to Toffer? Try again, get him to deflower me (urgh that word) then finally move on if it really doesn't work.

But he has a girlfriend, silly.

"Does Eva knows you dated him before?" Charlotte asks when I'm still watching the happy couple from a distance.

"Not sure. Maybe not."

"Yeah why should he, right? It's in the past. Everybody knows it's a bet anyway," she gives out a small laugh as I fake some, just to throw a reaction to her condensending words.

Fine, he dated that chubby girl out of a bet. But we lasted 6 years, even with countless break ups in between but still, 6 years. And he fucking proposed me eight months after we broke up! He's gotta have some real feelings towards me to actually want to make me his life partner.

Though he did fuck girls during our brief break ups.

Yes, plural. Girls. Break ups.

Sigh. I still don't understand why he never wanted to sleep with me, he didn't even make any advances or suggestions into it. Is it because I was too fat?

Or he was with me just for the bet? But it's six long years! Nobody stays in a relationship that long for a bet. And nobody is 'that' out-of-their-mind to propose someone if it's just a bet.

"Honey," Edward, Christian's best friend as well as Charlotte's husband approaches us and calls his proud wife. He's the only reason all of us tolerate this petty proud girl.

"Hey, I was just chatting with virgin Mary," she giggles as I reluctantly smile. Ha. Ha. Funny. Still the mean girl from high school. That's probably why Edward is head over heels with her. She's one of the popular mean girls- pretty, sexy, and stupid.

"Sorry, Nina," he whispers before both of them leave. I nod, it's a pity actually for him to keep apologizing to us whenever his proud wife throws hurtful remarks.

***

"Okay, if let's say he breaks up with his supermodel girlfriend," Toffer puts a hand on my thigh as he manouvers the steereng, we're on our way to May's first kid birthday party, "would you ask him out for a date?"

"Nope."

"Whyyy?" He sounds dissapointed.

"It's been 10 years. And last time we met, I rejected his proposal. I'm not gonna eat my shit, there's a reason for that rejection."

"Because you wanted to win."

I scoff hearing his matter-of-fact statement, "Because I wanted to win?"

"You told me yourself. He dumped you, then 8 months later when he comes back to propose you, you dumped him back. You, rejected him, because you wanted to win."

"No," I shove his hand off my lap, not wanting to have any skin contact with him. He's throwing accusations again regarding my relationship with Christian.

Christian and I met in high school. He attended a private school with the others while I went to a public school. We met at a party, a month later he asked me to be his girlfriend. It's a bit weird considering I was always bullied for my plump body but I thought love was blind.

But no, love was indeed not blind. A year after we got together, Edward admitted it was a bet between the guys to date an unattractive girl from the public school.

I didn't ask for a break up even after I knew, because I liked it so much, the idea of having a solid-ten boyfriend who's attending the private school. I didn't mind, even when May told me he screwed girls during our brief break-ups. Because I was too caught up with the idea of having a boyfriend. To want people to know I'm wanted, despite my unattractive figure.

We stayed together for six years, when he finally dumped me on the third year of my bachelor degree, right on my birthday, which was also our 6th anniversary, via text. I was so heartbroken I lost 50 lbs.

Eight months later he came back, not asking for another chance to be my boyfriend but instead, proposed for a marriage. I was 22, just a few months away from graduating.

Maybe Toffer's right, maybe it's a revenge, to win, that I rejected him even if he's the only guy I ever imagined to be married to. Up till now.

"Ready?" He asks once he parks the car. I nod, unbuckling my seat belt while he reaches out for the birthday present at the back seat.

This circle of friend, Edward-Charlotte-May and everyone else are actually Christian's friends from his school, the private school for the rich kids. He brought me with him every time they hang out and that's how I got so close with them.

It was weird to hang out with them after we broke up -for real, not the mini break-ups when he screwed girls- but he was pursuing medicine in UK so they assured me they're more than happy to continue including me in their little group; we're still friends after all. Sure bros-before-hoes but at that point, I'm like one of them, even without Christian. So I continued hanging out with them until now, only dissapeared every time Christian's back for his summer breaks.

Two years ago I started bringing Toffer when I hang out with them, only a few times though, when I needed a ride and he was free to provide one.

"Hey man, what's up!" Allan comes and greets us as Toffer releases his hand from my back, fist bumping him.

"Haven't seen you for a while," Roland joins us as he hands a beer to Toffer.

"Nina," suddenly May comes and grabs me from the boys, acting all excited, "guess what?"

"What?"

"They broke up!" She squeals as my eyes widen, "What?"

Shit, Christian broke up with his supermodel girlfriend? Really?

"He told me they ended it two months ago!" It's been four months since I last saw him during the gathering at Edward and Charlotte's but, "Really?"

"You guys are meant to be together." She nods repeatedly, grinning from ear to ear.

"Who's meant to be together?" A hand curls around my waist as I feel his hard abs pressing my arm. Toffer smiles wickedly with a beer on the other hand.

"Looking good, big guy!" May hugs him as she giggles, whispering something on his ear. He nods a few times, with a few small laughs passed at her.

"Yeah, you should totally check that out. Now or never, Nina." Toffer finally says once both of them are apart again. So May was whispering about Christian being single again.

"It's time you finally get some." Both of them laugh out loud as I roll my eyes. Sex again. Duh.