CATERINABreathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Get it together.Only I can’t hear anything but the roaring of blood in my ears.“Wh-what did you say?” I can barely hear my voice. “Sorry. I’m…” Can’t find the words. Can hardly breathe. I’m going to hyperventilate if I don’t calm down. Deep breaths. Slow, deep breaths while the pieces of my life that just shattered all around me drop to the floor in a million fragments.I walked in here, knowing it was possible. I even knew it was a better outcome than if I was sick. I won’t lie, I was still hoping for something simple, like stress.Fate had other plans. Now comes the actual stress.“Based on your reaction, this is a surprise.” The doctor pulls off his gloves and tosses them into a trash can while I lie here, dressed in this thin paper gown, with my feet still in stirrups. He indeed said what I thought he did, didn’t he? My ears aren’t playing tricks on me.I’m really pregnant.He pats my hand before rolling away on his whee
Her eyes move back and forth like she’s making certain no one else will overhear us. “He doesn't want to be tied down with a baby,” she whispers. “So if he hasn't forced you to do it yet, he will soon enough. Mark my words.”“Sure, because explain to me why I should believe a fucking word that leaves your mouth again?”“He didn't stay with me, and I had his daughter. What makes you think he's going to stay with you?”“Let me ask you something,” I counter, hands on my hips. “What does it feel like to lose? Because that's what this is about. You lost, and you can't handle it. Just like you can't handle the idea of him moving on with somebody younger than you.” I look over at the list of doctors in the building. “You’re right about one thing. Men like to keep their women young, so maybe you should head over to the dermatologist. You'll give yourself more wrinkles if you keep worrying about things that don’t include you.”She huffs out a staggered breath, and this time when I advance forw
GIANNIThe light inside me seems to dwindle without my little bird beside me. The anticipation of seeing her after a long day of work gets ripped out from underneath me by one single text. The bloodthirsty asshole I am pushes to the forefront of my mind.What is she doing now? Why doesn’t she want to come back here tonight, and how am I supposed to accept that without wanting an explanation? I understand that she’s worried about her father. She is constantly worried about him, but she needs to be careful, or she’ll never be able to stop worrying about him. He's always going to give her a reason to be concerned. I’m reminded all over again about the dynamic of their relationship. She’s his parent, even when he should act as her father.No matter how much I grind my teeth and fight to force away the suspicions and questions, there’s no holding them back. The dam has burst.Fear grips my heart in its meaty fist. Is he telling her everything he knows? The thought that even with all my pro
“You told your daughter you would do everything in your power to help her. Aside from keeping that rapist bastard in a warehouse so you can torment him, what else have you done? Have you taken her to a doctor? Have you spoken to her about what she's been through?”“You saw how it was the last time I tried that. What should I do? Tie her down to a chair and question her until she begs me to stop?”“I've seen you do worse for less.”That’s it. That’s where he knows he went too far. He clears his throat but keeps his head high. He’s a proud asshole, and I want to knock him down a couple of pegs.“What the fuck does that mean?” I whisper.His jaw works. “I think you know what it means. If you truly wanted to help her, I mean really truly, you would find a way to get through to her. You’d spend time with her. Except you haven't even tried. Because you're too busy obsessing over Caterina.”“Don't you dare—”“I'm not trying to criticize the thing you two have. Only, it's like nothing else ma
CATERINAI hate walking into situations without knowing what to expect. After Ken called me, at least ten different scenarios were running rampant in my mind. The entire drive to the station, I white-knuckled the steering wheel, praying it wasn’t as bad as my imagination was making it out to me.Please, don’t let this be too bad. Please. I can’t shake the mental image of overturned desks and bullet holes in the walls from my head. He wouldn’t go completely off the rails like that… would he? I wish I was confident enough to believe my own thoughts, but I’m not. My father is determined to get to the bottom of this and has nothing left to lose.I climb the stairs leading up to the enormous glass doors, my heart pounding into my throat. At least the glass is intact, so I’ll take that as a good sign.The air is thick and heavy as soon as I step inside. Right away, the cop behind the desk cuts me off, “Excuse me, Miss, do you have an appointment.” I halt in my tracks and scan the station fo
“I'm still not sure what you're talking about.”“You know what I mean. He told me he loves you, yet I don't understand why you chose him. He’s a bad man. The things he’s done and will continue to do. You could do better.”“He told you...” He loves me? Said it out loud? To my father? Either my head’s going to explode, or my heart’s going to burst.“Also said that you are a grown woman and can make your own decisions.” He scoffs, shrugging. “I know you’re a grown woman who can make your own decisions. I just wish they were the right ones.”“So let me get this straight.” Since I don't know whether to be pissed, laugh, or cry. “The two of you had a conversation about us without me knowing about it.”He nods. “I figured he’d told you already.”“When was this?”“Friday. I'm not proud of myself. I went to the house, as I said, and I… I was enraged. I wanted to kill him. And then he told me that you were both together.”My heart sinks when his eyes start to well with tears. “Why? Don't you kn
GIANNIWhat was that noise?My eyes fly open, my heart racing out of my chest. There was a noise somewhere in the house. Unless I dreamed it—I didn't even know I had fallen asleep.Passed out is more like it. Sitting in my chair, alone, where I ended up after I cleaned the mess on the floor. The thought of Caterina returning to the house and seeing that mess haunted me. I couldn’t just leave it, yet I also refused to have anyone else do it.And it was a brief respite from the blame I heaped on myself once the worst of my drunken stupidity passed. I should’ve been there for my daughter. I should have been the sort of father she could come to when Christopher first started hurting her–since I doubt it started in Europe. I should’ve been there for her in these past weeks, insisting we find her a therapist, all of it.Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my priorities. I’ve had the rest of the night to sit here and hate myself for it before passing out.My heartbeat slows once I’m awa
“No, it wasn't.” I run my thumb over her bottom lip, teasing the softest sigh from her. “I would walk through fire for you. I would burn the world to ash, lie, cheat, steal, kill. I’d do anything for you. Anything you ask, it's yours. I will find a way.”“I think I’m scared.”“Of what?” All I can imagine is the sort of fear Charles put in her head.Instead, she manages to surprise me. “I'm worried that eventually, things are going to get real.”“And you mean to tell me they aren't real now?”“Of course they are, but what happens after all of this? When the fun wears off? Will you still want me when I'm not... you know, forbidden fruit?” A soft laugh escapes her, like it's all a joke, but even in my inebriated state, I feel her uncertainty—the hard, frightening edge.“I’m a lot of things, Caterina,” I start, while linking my arms around her back to pull her against my chest. “I’ve made mistakes, God knows, but I’m not stupid and definitely not naïve. Things change, people change, and t
When I try to send a text in response, it goes undelivered. The number comes up as ID Blocked. No surprise.“I'm wondering if we should have brought more men,” he grunts, swerving around a slow-moving minivan. A glimpse at the passenger side mirror reveals the car behind us, matching our speed, following Roger's every move.“Between the five of us, if we can't handle it, then we have bigger problems.”“What if this is all a way of drawing us out? Whoever is behind this would know I'd come on the run.”“Do you want to take that chance?” He glances away from the road to stare at me for a moment. “We can always call for more backup.”“By the time they get there, what point would it make?” We're already halfway there as it is. “I don't want to wait for them.”Besides, this doesn't feel like an attack is imminent. It feels more like the attack has already taken place, I'm afraid. I don’t want to think about what we might discover when we arrive. Don't let it be Caterina. Don't let it be Ta
GIANNI“You can tell summer's winding down.”I look up from the spreadsheet Roger insisted we compile—always organized, which I suppose I should be grateful for even if a Friday evening spent poring over spreadsheets isn’t my idea of a good time. “What do you mean?”“It's already starting to get dark, and it's barely past seven o'clock.”Sure enough, a look out the window confirms this. “I wonder how long the girls will be out.”“You know how it gets sometimes. Crack open a bottle of wine or two, and time melts.”“I don't think they'll be doing that tonight.” When he lifts an eyebrow, I break the news I've been waiting all week to share. “This stays between us, but Caterina is pregnant.”Now both brows lift. “Oh. I... congratulations?”I can't help but grin. “Yes, congratulations are in order.”“And she's happy about it?”“You know. Things are still complicated.” I'm trying to be kind toward Charles for her sake, but I can't pretend his bias against me isn't a real pain in the ass at
Something snaps inside my head. No, no, this isn’t happening. Not to me. Not to my baby.Every self-defense lesson Dad ever taught me comes rushing back. I can’t breathe in if I want to stay conscious, so I hold my breath while stomping a foot against his instep with all my might. He grunts in pain but doesn’t release me. In my frenzy, I reach out, sinking my nails into any flesh I can touch, then I drive an elbow into his ribs.“You bitch,” he growls before slamming me headfirst into the trunk of my car. Everything goes dark and foggy. My body slumps when I lose control of it, and I can’t help but breathe in.My baby. My baby…I don’t lose consciousness, though. Not completely. It’s more like being sedated; my brain still works. I hear everything, but I can’t make my body move. I’m floating in a dream-like state, but this is all very real. A living nightmare.“Get moving,” one of the men snarls, shoving me into the car. I can’t open my eyes. My head is pounding.Tatiana’s body slumps
CATERINA“Hey, what are you looking at?”My heart just about jumps out of my chest as I quickly close my browser before turning in my chair to find Stephanie standing at the entrance of my cubicle. The way she lifts an eyebrow while folding her arms reminds me too much of my best friend—it hurts, since we haven’t spoken all week.I touch a hand to my chest, laughing. “You're like a ghost, I swear. How are you so quiet?”“Maybe you were too busy looking at naughty things to notice me coming up behind you.”“Naughty things?” The idea makes me giggle, because she couldn't be further from the truth. It was dirty things that got me pregnant in the first place. Now, I am reading advice columns and googling baby names when I should be working.“Nobody closes their browser that fast if they aren’t looking at something they shouldn't be.”“Sorry to disappoint you, but I was reading junk on Reddit.” At least it's a believable lie. “I don't want to get caught screwing around.”“Who cares?” she s
The look of heartbreak on Caterina’s face makes me want to order a hit on Amalia at this very moment. “That you’d want me to get an abortion if you found out because you didn’t want any more children. That the last thing you wanted was to be tied down again.” The anguish in her voice slices me down to the bone.I’ll kill her. It’s as simple as that.How long have I told myself I must spare her pathetic life because she’s Tatiana’s mother? She’s never been a mother to her, anyway. I could have done Tatiana and the world a favor by getting rid of her, but I didn’t. Now it doesn’t seem to matter if she’s alive or dead.“For one thing,” I speak carefully so I don’t spook her, “Amalia does not have the first clue on how I would feel about anything. She doesn’t know me. You should know by now that she wants me to be miserable, which means making everyone around me miserable by association. Plus, she’s herself, so I’m sure it must make her jealous, knowing you’re going to have my child—a chi
GIANNI“Patience,” Roger advises, his eyes constantly moving as he scans the area around us while we stand beneath the covered stoop in front of his cottage. “Just because I haven't found anything yet doesn't mean I won't.”“It isn't you I'm frustrated with,” I grunt, trying not to appear suspicious. There are no fewer than five guards within my line of sight, and I can't help but wonder if it's one of them.The traitor.“It's barely been two days since I installed the software,” he reminds me. “Give it some time.”“I get it, but until then, I have to pretend I trust everyone equally, and that’s frustrating as hell when you know one of your men is sharing information he shouldn’t be.”“There is another solution. It’s faster, if that’s what you’re looking for. You could just fire everybody and start over.”He recoils under the sharp glare I shoot at him. I know he wasn’t serious, but I’m not in a joking mood. “I can't afford to lose my entire team at a time like this. Not with a new de
“Not really.” Tatiana looks me up and down. “Are you feeling okay? You look a little green.”Once we move closer to the register, the feeling gets worse. Only once the girl behind the counter reaches for Tatiana’s clothes do I realize it’s Tatiana’s perfume that sets me off. The stronger the smell, the sweatier and more nauseated I get.“I’ll meet you outside.” Nothing in the world matters more than getting out of this store. The glass doors are my sole goal, and I walk toward them as calmly as possible, even as my insides start churning. Stupid me, thinking if I never got sick like this before now, I’d be one of the lucky ones who never had to go through it.I burst through the double doors to the outside, sucking deep breaths into my lungs. The sunshine is so bright, glaring off the concrete, but there’s an awning over the wide front window, and I take shelter beneath it. A few minutes pass, and the nausea seems to pass with every breath I take. Shit. Suddenly it occurs to me that I
CATERINA“How come you're not trying on any clothes?”Damn it. I was hoping I’d get away with it.We’ve been shopping for the past half hour, and only now has she thought to ask why I haven’t picked out anything. I was kind of hoping she wouldn't pay attention. She's having a good time trying on skirts and dresses and jeans. Now she’s frowning at me from the three-way mirror outside her dressing room stall. “Why aren’t you shopping, too?”I’m sure the response: I don't know how much longer I'll fit into anything. It would be a waste of money to buy anything in my size when I don’t have the first idea of how pregnancy will affect my body... wouldn’t go over well.“I feel bloated,” I groan, rubbing my stomach. “It's just not a good day.”“I'm sorry. Would you prefer we go back home?”I like that she thinks of it as home for both of us. “No, I’m fine. I just know I would hate myself in everything I tried on.”“You always look great, if that helps.”“Thanks. And you look hot in that dress
“There he is, going around with all these suspicions without solid proof. I'm finally starting to understand how he must feel.” That, and how Caterina seems determined to look after me—the way she does with him.“Speaking of which, have you reviewed the list of names I compiled?”If my head doesn't fucking explode, it will be a miracle. I walked into this room feeling good, energized, confident. All it takes is a catch-up session to remember how overwhelming the past few weeks have been. Caterina or no Caterina, I've got enough on my plate to make any man want to throw in the towel.I made her a promise. I’m going to find out who killed her mother. I only hope she isn’t in a hurry, since at least a dozen possible culprits could’ve had reason to send a message to Charles.“I scanned the names,” I confirm. “And I'd like to set up meetings. Only this is touchy, so we can't make too much noise, or word might spread that I'm digging.”“You realize one of those names was Salvatore Costello.