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Behind A Smile 175
"Yes," Zynah said, nodding. "Imagine pushing a baby out of that small hole, of course it'd be painful, but," her lips stretched into a smile. "At the end, the pain is all worth it, when you get to carry your baby in your arms. The pain felt, will automatically and miraculously vanish. It was the same feeling I felt when I held my baby in my arms and breastfed him. It made me recall the terrible mistake I made back then with Adnan, when I decided to cast him away," Tears prickled her eyes as she recalled how she had gazed at him with disgust and hate. She wished she could undo her mistakes. "Today, I wish Bilal was here with us. He would no doubt, be the happiest. It had always been his dream to hold his baby at birth. He didn't get to hold Adnan and right now, he isn't here to hold our other child." The tears she had been trying so hard to keep at bay, escaped and streamed down her cheeks. "I miss him, Ramlah," she confessed, pouring out her heart to her sister - a thing she seldom
Behind A Smile 176
As soon as Nazmeera heard the good news, she couldn't contain her excitement. She rushed to the house to congratulate her. Zynah, having just finished eating her food, was peacefully resting in her room when Nazmeera arrived. She knocked on the door and immediately she was permitted to enter, she did. "Congratulations, Zynah!" Nazmeera beamed, her voice filled with exuberance. "I rushed here immediately Ramlah informed me. Congratulations. I'm glad that you and the baby are fine." Zynah's eyes sparkled with gratitude. "Thank you, Nazmeera." "How are you feeling?" Nazmeera asked, her voice filled with care. "I hope you're not in any pain." "I'm feeling alright," Zynah replied, a small smile on her lips. It actually felt surreal to her that Nazmeera, whom had hated her for the time she had known her was now caring towards her. Nazmeera smiled in response, her excitement continuing to bubble. "Ramlah also told me it's a boy. Can I hold him?" She eagerly requested. "W
Behind A Smile 177
Nazmeera's face lit up. "Really? His name is Bilal?" Zynah nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. "His name is Bilal," she confirmed. Ramlah hummed, her gaze fixed on her sister as if she wanted to say something to her but was holding back because Nazmeera was there. "It's a surprise," she finally spoke, her gaze still fixated on Zynah. "When did you decide to name him after his father?" Judging by Ramlah facial expression, Zynah knew she wasn't exactly pleased by her decision to make her baby after his late father, but it didn't matter to her. She had made her decision, and she'd stand by it. "Since I found out I was having a boy," Zynah replied. "I don't know what to say," Nazmeera said, tears welling up in her eyes. "Thank you so much, Zynah. This makes me feel less sad about, you know..." Zynah understood perfectly Nazmeera's emotions because she was feeling exactly the same. It felt like Bilal had returned through their son. It helped lessened the pain of loss. Nazmeera spent
Behind A Smile 178
Languidly, Zynah stood by the kitchen's door; her gaze scanning her now messed up kitchen - the floor was decorated with grains of rice, mixed with vegetable oil. On the counter, were broken eggs, with shells hanging around. Horrifically, her eyes widened and her hand flew over her agape mouth, when she realized the cooker was turned on and a pan, covered by an oversized lid was placed over it, the acrid smell of burnt food filling the air. Beside the counter, were two stools - one placed on the other. Zynah quickly walked over to the cooker and turned it off. Without thinking, she placed a hand over the lid in an attempt to lift it, but immediately her hand touched the overheated cover, intuitively, she pulled away, a little too vigorously as her skin sizzled, pushing the pot off the cooker, accidentally and making the concoction splatter all over the place. Zynah heaved an exasperated sigh and shook her head in disbelief. She knew the children were mischievous, but she ne
Behind A Smile 179
Zynah sat down on her perfectly made bed and massaged her temples, with a hand. In all the years she had had to take care of her children alone, she had never gotten that angry at them for a mistake before, but today, inexplicably, she had lost her temper, and even threatened to hit Adnan. "Is this paranoia, like Ramlah said?" In an attempt to get rid of the thought from her head, she shook her head and picked up her phone from the nightstand and stared at her screensaver - a cherished photograph of Bilal and Adnan she had captured, while they were sleeping. It was certainly one of her favorite pictures of all time. Each time she was stressed out, a glance at the picture, was all it took for her to calm down. It made her feel her late husband's presence - as if he was assuring her that she wasn't alone. That he was with her in spirit. "Would things have been much easier with you here?" she whispered, her voice filled with longing. Years had passed, yet the void in her heart rema
Behind A Smile 180
Zynah raced to the gate, her heart thumping fast in her chest. She found the lazy gatekeeper sprawled out on his bench, as usual. His eyes were closed, but it didn't seem he was asleep; he had an earpiece in his ears and was humming a tune. Zynah called out his name, but due to the obvious reasons, he didn't respond. Frustrated, she kicked the bench, startling him, and causing him to almost fall off the bench. He quickly removed the earpiece from his ear and sprang up. Then, he apologized; "I'm sorry, ma. I didn't hear you calling." Zynah suppressed the urge to roll her eyes him. "How would you, when you had stuff in your ears. Is this what I paid you to do for me? It seems you're beginning to forget your purpose here." "I'm so—" Zynah held up a hand, silencing him. "Keep your apology to yourself. I don't need it. It doesn't even matter now. Where are my children? Did they leave the house?" "Yes," he replied, his voice flat. Zynah couldn't believe her ears. It sou
Behind A Smile 181
"How could you allow two children - two little children out of your sight and later claim to care about them? What sort of a careless mother are you! Had it been I'm a kidnapper or a ritualist, have you thought of what the repercussions would be? Did you think of what would have happened to these innocent kids? You're lucky. Lucky to have been blessed with kids, but instead of taking care of them, like you should, you take them for granted." He lectured, his brows tightly furrowed. "That little boy over there," he pointed to Jr. "Has been crying for his mother. It took a while, before I could calm him down and this boy, right here," He remarked, referring to Adnan. "He looked so sad and when I asked him what was wrong, he told me he doesn't want to return home. Only Allah knows what torture you and your husband put these innocent kids through. Careless people, such as yourselves, don't deserve to be parents!" The man's words, like sharp knives, tore through Zynah's heart. She felt
Behind A Smile 182
Zynah's eyes narrowed as she took in the unexpected visitor. The sight of him just standing casually in front of her door sent a shiver down her spine. "What are you doing here?" Zynah questioned, her gaze trailing to the huge clock, hanging on the wall. "At this time of the day too. Don't tell me you actually fo—" an involuntary gasp, escaped her mouth. "What do you want, mister?" "Good evening, madam,' He greeted, with a hardened demeanor. "I didn't know you live here, otherwise, I wouldn't have come. After the last encounter we had, believe me, seeing you again is not on my bucket list," he said, his tone flat. Zynah huffed, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes at the stranger. "Then can you kindly explain to me why you're here? At this time? Who even let you in?" "Obviously the gateman," He deadpanned. Zynah shook her head in disdain and gnashed her teeth. She made a mental note to fire him the next day. She was done with him. "What do you want?" she asked again. "To j
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