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Behind A Smile 166
9th April. Dearest, Zynah, "Before you start reading this, I'd like you to calm down first. Do not cry! It's a command from your husband. Will you disobey? Amidst tears, she smiled. "How does he know so well," she whispered, her emotion threatening to overwhelm her. His words only served to make her even more emotional than she already was. She couldn't help but miss that particular playful side of him, the playful banter they used to share. "I know you must be crying profusely as you read this, because you love me so much. Even though you refused to utter those words to me aloud, I figured it all out. Remember, action speaks louder than words. I have known this all along, but I have also longed so badly for you to say then to me again. It would have been so good to hear them from you once again. It's really a nice feeing, you know. I wanted to relive the moments, but, well..." The amount of regret that suddenly washed over Zynah couldn't be overemphasized. She vastly regre
Behind A Smile 167
When she brought out the next envelope, her eyes widened, as if they were about to be ripped out of their socket. "To my unborn kid." She read out the words written on the envelope. It sent shivers down her spine. "How-" she began but cut herself off, mid sentence. She had so many questions she wanted answers to, but knew she would only be able to get them in the content of the letter. The anticipation was almost unbearable. Taking a deep breath, she carefully removed the paper from the envelope and unfolded it. 10th April. Dear, son/daughter/twins :-) It's your Daddy here. Though I won't be able to see you, to hear your first cry, to kiss and hug you, I just want you to know how much Daddy loves and adore you. You're special because you arrived at the time no one expected. You won't feel my presence much, for I'm pretty sure your Mother will fill all voids. She's capable. She's the strongest woman I know. If she's determined, she conquers everything and anything. Nothing
Behind A Smile 168
In what seemed like a blink of an eye, four months passed. The weight of Bilal's absence settled on Zynah like a heavy blanket. He was gone, but his memories still lingered on. Adnan had finally began to get used to his absence, but like promised, Zynah never failed to remind him of his father and Just how much he loved him. It was a difficult and trying time for the both of them. But Zynah had to keep pushing through. For the sake of her kids. Nothing much had changed. just as before, Zynah still dwelled in her memories of Bilal, cherishing all the good moments they had shared. She had made it a daily ritual to include him in her prayers, seeking for Allah's forgiveness and mercy on him. Unlike when she was pregnant with Adnan, her current pregnancy wasn't a tough one. It was relatively smooth. The morning sickness was mild. She hardly threw up, and she rarely experienced nausea. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice someone entering the room, until she heard her name be
Behind A Smile 169
After months of suffering from temporal paralysis, Nazmeera could finally walk again, but she wasn't as excited as she was supposed to be. The joy of her newfound mobility was overshadowed by the tragic death of Bilal. She still couldn't get over it. In the span of four months, so many things had happened in her life. So many negativities - the first thing she regained her consciousness to, was her only sibling's death. His letter for her had her crying for weeks, then after a month, her husband finally found time out of his 'busy schedule' to visit her. What did he expect? For her to receive him with open arms and a broad smile on her lips? Well, he was wrong. On the contrary, she had confronted him. She had a heated argument with him, and demanded answers as to why he got married to someone else while she was fighting for her life in the hospital. She wanted answers as to why he rarely visited her. Remorselessly, he retorted and blamed her for everything that had bestowed her. He
Behind A Smile 170
Nazmeera scoffed, her eyes filled with a mixture of resentment and despair. "I never knew I had a father." She remarked, blinking rapidly to fight back her tears. "You have never been there for us. How did Mom even manage to stay with someone like you? Only Allah knows what she went through in your hands, before she died. I really pity her. I pity us," Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued, her voice quivering. "This isn't the type of family I will wish upon my enemy. If we ever did anything wrong, no one is to be blamed, but you. Instead of discouraging us from doing the wrong things in the past, you turned a blind eye to it. You were never there to instill morals in us." Tears streamed down her face. "I just want you to admit it to yourself that you've failed as a parent. No one deserves to live like this." Mr. Idris' face flushed with anger. "You ungrateful idiot!" he roared, raising a hand to hit her, but managed to stop himself in time. "What rubbish are you spurting? I
Behind A Smile 171
Zynah had gone downstairs to get a bottle of water and just as she was about to go back to her room, her gaze met with that of Zaahida. She took in a deep breath and looked away. Initially, she had wanted to walk away, but when she saw her approaching, she changed her mind and also walked up to her, a shiver running down her spine. "Zaahida." She deadpanned. "What a surprise to see you here. I don't remember inviting you." Zaahida's eyes, once filled with hatred, now held a hint of guilt and remorse. "How have you been?" She inquired, fidgeting with her fingers. "I...heard about Bill...Bilal's death." Zynah's heart ached at Zaahida's words. She still hadn't gotten used to the fact that Bilal was indeed dead. Each time someone sent their condolences, it felt like reopening the wound, preventing it from healing. She didn't know if she'd ever get used to his absence. Each day brought a new wave of pain and loneliness. "Okay?" She raised a brow questionably, her voice flat. Deep dow
Behind A Smile 172
Ibrahim's face fell. The news was a shock, a bolt of lightning that struck him out of nowhere. He stared at Zynah, his eyes wide with disbelief. He might not have said it, but Zynah knew he felt discomfited. His facial expression, a mix of shock and disappointment said it all. "I'm eighteen weeks along," She added, her voice low-pitched. "Zynah..." Ibrahim called, his voice trailing off. He was obviously still trying to process the information, to understand the implications. Finally, he found his "I..can wait for you to give birth." Zynah was taken aback by his response. She had expected him to get angry or at least leave without saying a word, but he did none of that. Just what kind of a patient person was he? Was he even real at this point? "It's enough, please," She beseeched, her voice filled with sadness. "It pains me whenever I do this to you. You don't deserve any of this, Ibrahim. You are an awesome person, and I don't deserve your kindness." Ibrahim shook his head
Behind A Smile 173
"Arrgggghhhhhh!" At the top of her voice, Zynah screamed, her body convulsing as she collapsed on the bed, drenched in sweat. The contractions, now relentless, struck every five minutes. Her breaths emerged in ragged pants and tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. She had been in labour for three long hours, yet the baby had obstinately refused to leave the comfort of her stomach. She had been pushing but her efforts were futile. Due to exhaustion, her eyes had already began to drop, when the contractions returned in gargantuan force. "Push!" One of the midwives yelled, her voice a sharp command that cut through the haze of pain. To Zynah, the voice of the midwife was obscure. It floated in the air and soon dissipated. With all of the strength she possessed, she heaved, her body bucking and straining. "You're almost there," the midwife encouraged, her voice a beacon of hope. "I can already see the head of your baby. You just have to put in more effort, okay?" Her w
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