Dreams and startling desires

Meghan

Meg woke up clutching the sheets. Sitting up, she tried to process the dream she had just woken up from. Dreams like that didn’t come to people like her, ever.

She had been tied hands and feet to a bed that had four posters and had been stark naked. Her body had been glistening with sweat and flushed with desire. She had sought for some sort of release or friction to ease the ache that ravaged her body and pooled down below.

Meg was familiar with bondage because she had read a few books, however, she wasn’t a fan of it. But the odd part of the dream had not been way her body had bowed with desire and she had writhed in pleasure as greedy fingers sought and teased her. No, it was the person that made her body ache and hum with so much intense passion that she had screamed herself awake when she finally found her release in deft tongue and a skilled mouth.

It was the shocking realization as she remember who owned the hands. It was Jack. She had a dream about Jack.

She scrubbed her hands through her hair and let out a frustrated groan. How could she be dreaming about someone who didn’t even want her? She had dreamt about celebrity crushes when she was a teen, yes.  But this was different, so different. She had even begged and pleaded in the dream for him to touch her. How much more embarrassing could her life get?

If she did not get a hold on herself, she would spiral out of control. She had to keep it in, rein all her attraction back inside.

Still, her wandering hands fluttered below of its own volition as her thoughts wandered and she recalled certain parts of her dream. Jack had teased her to the edge with his fingers and tongue only to stop when she was about to go over the edge so many times. When she remembered how his mouth had settled greedily over her and had begun to suck, she let out a deep moan as her legs couldn’t hold themselves up and her hands fell limp.

Chest heaving, she brought her glistening fingers to her face with mortification.

How the hell would she be able to hide how she felt at this rate?

She had just started reading the letter when Jake walked in. After her mortification had passed, she had opted for a cold bath and had taken a long time to get her composure together. No matter what her dreams were made of, she was not going to act like a teenage girl on heat although she could swear that with the way her body kept on humming, that was exactly how she felt.

Raising her head up from the letter she was reading, she glanced at the door with a smile. It was safe to smile at Jake. He wasn’t the one giving her orgasms in the dream but kept a far distance in real life. Jake could be safely classified as a friend.

“Morning” Jake said to her entering the library. He walked to her and dropped the mug he was holding on a low stool in front of her.

“Morning. Is that coffee or tea?” 

“Some sort of herbal tea. It is said to have calming and relaxing effects on the mind and body” Jake replied.

Meg wanted to scream, you are a lifesaver and maybe hug him. Maybe the tea would calm her body and rid her of all the tingles and decadent thoughts she felt running through her body and mind.

“I definitely needed this. Thanks a lot”

“Like I said, it’s my pleasure. Doing little things that bring you some sort of comfort is my pleasure”

Then why don’t you come to my dreams instead? Things would be so much easier, Meg thought.

“Then would you mind if you could get me something to eat, please? I wanted to get a jumpstart on the letters and forgot about eating.”

“Definitely. I’ll be back”

An hour later, Meg was curled up on the sofa rereading the second letter. She had eaten a healthy breakfast, curtsy of Jake’s manageable cooking skills and had decided to take a break and look around the library. Looking around the library had consisted of her picking a book and settling down to read it.

She had dropped the book when she had remembered that she something important to do. So, she had picked up the letter for the second time and had settled down to read it.

Lily Catherine,

  

My love with whom my heart lies.

I fear greatly how things would be if you told your father of our ever growing passion. I fear he would stop at nothing to keep us apart.

For this, I pray, let the love that burns brightly be our secret till time and chance be on our side.

Know that my heart loves thee still.

For thine, I am

My heart is yours.

Even as I lie awake each night and when the sun doth beat upon my weary back, my thoughts are of you.  I seek you in my dreams and on the days when my heart is bleak.

I have become one who loveth, love

And it is all because of you.

                                                                                                                           From, me

Meg could not contain her excitement. Her earlier fantasy of how the true story might have been was shaping up to be true.

Slipping into the familiar role of character imagination, Meg imagined herself as Catherine, a young girl in love with a man of no social standing and someone whom her father would never approve of. She imagined herself anticipating his letters in trepidation, as servants and workers were not allowed to talk to members of the family, and hoping that her father hadn’t seen them, somehow. She felt the thrill Catherine must have felt reading each word from the letters spread through her skin. She found herself inhaling the scent from the lily Catherine’s lover must have put in each letter and her heart seemed to break for a love that wasn’t allowed to thrive freely.

But wasn’t her case somehow similar? She asked herself. She was dreaming about a man who would never want her. Hers wasn’t a case of an over bearing father keeping them apart but of the one person she wanted not wanting her back.

Oh well, life must go on, mustn’t it? She said to herself with a sigh.

Jack

“You work too damn hard for someone who doesn’t need to” Jake said to Jack as he sat down and crossed his legs. “I don’t get why you have to lock yourself in here every day”

“I don’t recall you knocking or me opening the door before you entered. I recall, if my memory serves me right and it should, you barging your way in here just seconds ago. I did not lock myself in here and I do have important things to do”

Seeing that he could not pursue the subject any longer, Jake decided to talk about something else.

“Caleb asked about you last night. I told you he is getting married, right?”

“Yes, you did”

“He hoped you would be able to attend his wedding. He is really looking forward to you coming” Jake told him.

“Well, give him my congratulations but express my deepest regrets. I will not be able to attend” Jack said in a dismissive tone.

“I was hoping you would consider it, seeing as Caleb is one of our oldest friends. Besides, it’s not like you would have to show yourself to anybody. You can hide wherever you want, however you like, all he wants is that you attend”

“And I offer my congratulations and my regrets but I will not be able to attend. Tell that to him, I am sure he would understand.”

Jake stood up and banged his fist on the table in anger.

“It’s just one goddamn day, Jake. Don’t be so selfish. Caleb has been a friend for as long as I have been in your life, even longer. He is asking you to come for his wedding, his wedding, which is an important day for him and you say you send your regrets? You are just inconsiderate and a serious egomaniac.”

Jake raised his head up slowly and Jake moved back a little when he saw the look in his eyes. If looks could kill, his death would have been a long, torturous one. 

“Get out” was the only thing he said.

“I will” Jake replied and proceeded to walk out of the study. Just before he shut the door behind him, he turned to look at Jack, anger burning in his eyes.

“You can give your pathetic regret yourself, I am not your spokesman”

“Fuck!” Jake growled out as he threw the documents on his table in one sweep. He was such a goddamn idiot. It was just a wedding for goodness sake. He could have just said yes, made everyone happen and not be a selfish bastard.

But it wasn’t as easy as they thought. They did not wear the scars, they did not get their egos bruised, and they did not have nightmares that kept them awake and seeking for some sort of relief. Everyone that judged him, wasn’t him!

Caleb had been there for him weeks after the accident but Jack would never forget the horror he saw clearly written on his face when he saw the damages the accident caused. He had moved back as though Jack had become some sort of disfigured being that terrified and horrified him.

He would be damned before he would allow himself be seen by anyone who saw him as a freak show ever again.

But your wounds are healed now and your scars are better, some part of him protested. It didn’t matter if he had healed to some extent, the look would never leave his memory. It was like a permanent stamp, a reminder of why he didn’t go out in the day time, show his face in public places and why he hadn’t seen most of his friends in years.

He managed to see his family twice every year and each time he left, he could feel their burning, inquisitive gazes following him back home.

The only person who hadn’t expressed either disgust or horror, surprise maybe but that was all, was Meg.  She had stared in shock for some moments and then quickly recovered. He hadn’t even seen the inquisitive, prodding look that people gave him in her eyes. In her presence, he had felt almost…normal. Normal wasn’t something he had felt in years. Even looking at his mirror without some sort of hatred seemed hard most days. 

Maybe that was why he had the fierce desire to keep her around him. It was why he had this selfish urge to keep her where he could see her from time to time. If normalcy was thing he could have for a short while, he would take it with both hands.

But then, he could not deny that he was very attracted to her. The need to claim her was so strong that being around her was a big risk.

Why couldn’t he have his cake and still eat it?