The Cafeteria was loud. Too loud. The whole school was in a frenzy, probably because of the party that was going to be held on Saturday. The one that Tammy had finally got me an invite too, but I still wasn't going. At the far end the jocks were drumming on their desks and screaming loudly at each other in excited frenzy. There was some singing and love dovey going on beside me and one of the student body members was passing an announcement over the PA system about an upcoming event but the noise in the hall almost drowned out her voice. The smell of the different food in the air made me nauseous rather than hungry.Everything that was happening here was overwhelming my senses.The world was red today. Like bloody red. It was the start of the day when your body conspires to kill you and intensifies its strategies when it fails to. I had gotten my period today and as usual I was fighting for my life. The nausea, headache and butt cramps ramped up the pain. Jamie was sitting beside
Unknown: Let's talk after class. Two messages in one day. I didn't respond to this one also. If this message came last week, I would have been excited. I really wanted to talk to him last week. I wanted to ask if he was okay and I wanted to say I was sorry for making him late to the meeting but it isn't. Today I didn't want to talk to him especially not after he had humiliated me again, and after the childish stunt I pulled in the Cafeteria. The rest of the day was a blur. Ever feel like you are somewhere, with people, surrounded by conversations, yet you are sliping away. Your eyes track their body movements, but your consciousness does not register what is going on. You carry out actions like a zombie. You are there yet you are not, aware yet not aware. That was exactly how I felt for the rest of the day. I was back in class but I was in my own world. The ache in my head was a dull throb now. I had messaged Jamie to wait for me outside class and the moment the teacher left, I
LUKAI clutched my phone hard as the convoy rolled out of the alley. The side of my face hurt. He had punched me with his family signa ring on. The moment we entered he had raised his hand to hit me again but I held it up, "don't." He might have been able to get away with it while I was younger but not anymore. The way our relationship worked as Father and son was that we both had something on each other. For him it was my mother and younger brother, he always dangled that in front of me when he needed me to fall in line. While on my part, it was a video recording of a sex tape I made of him and his friends daughter. I also had an audio recording of some of his dirty dealings which I stole from his safe. He knew I had them. For the longest time he had tried to get them but all to no avail. I was my father's son through and through and through, in blood and deed, he knew what I was capable of, just as I did. The punch was enough punishment. I could excuse it. I had embarrassed h
BELLALuka: How do you feel now? I swiped my hands across my face to clear away the sleep fog I was in. Me: I feel fine. Close to zero pain, just little discomfort. It was almost 12 noon and I just woke up. Granted I had slept late and yesterday was a stressful one. Luka: What is the difference between discomfort and pain? Aren't both unpleasant🙄? I had my tooth brush in my mouth when I saw it and I smiled. Apart from the fact that it sounded exactly like what he could say, it also felt weird seeing that he added an emoji. Me: Discomfort is bearable, almost unnoticeable while Pain should be more exaggerated. Immediately I sent my response, he started typing, so I waited, not brushing my teeth, staring hard at the screen and shuffling from one feet to another. Luka: So the feeling you had when you slammed the door on your hand was pain while the feeling you get from wearing a tight shoe is discomfort? Overall best in sciences *insert mocking laughter*I smiled at the last state
BELLAAll I needed was one excuse to turn back and run back home. Just one tiny excuse. It didn't even have to be the most sound or logical one, but I was coming up with nothing, I have tried all the ones I had already. When Tammy had shown up earlier this evening, I was shocked that she had called two days ahead to ask for my mother's permission to attend a party and even more shocked that my mother had said yes. Tammy had shown up with a box of fresh doughnuts and all my misgivings about how she brought strangers to our table and spilled my secrets were forgiven. I had tried using the excuse of having no outfit to wear and she had brought out a green dress from my wardrobe which I was surprised still existed. My mother had thought it looked pretty and bought it for me. I was more of a jeans and oversized tee or hoodie kind of girl so I never wore it. The gress was a wrap dress with a v neck that stopped mid thigh. I must have put on weight because it hugged me in all the right
Have you ever been painfully aware of someone's presence? You could feel their gaze on your skin. You were attuned to their every move. You could feel the heat radiating off their skin. Your nose filled with the smell wafting off their skin. Your skin begins to get hot from the inside. Every single thing they do seems to have an effect on you. I was seated beside Luka though not by choice. Dolly on the insistence of Maya had gotten up so that Tammy could sit beside Maya and had taken the other empty space beside a guy whom I didn't know. The only other empty space was between Luka and this guy. If the guy would just move a little, I could have had space to sit beside Dolly and not sandwich myself between the two guys but I couldn't muster the courage to tell him to move. When we arrived, JJ had gotten up to bring me a drink and pressed a paper cup whose content looked like orange juice into my hands. I didn't drink it. At this moment I was convincing myself not to tur
LUKAI needed a drink before I did something stupid like taste her lips or go back to where the party was and punch the lights out of Dylan. I don't even know why I was pressed that he was hitting on her. All day I have tried to stop myself from messaging her. From letting my thoughts wonder but then she had looked at me kn that room like she wanted me to act on those thoughts and I didn't know what to do.I needed to fuck someone and I needed to do it soon. I had come tonight to let out a little steam not to get even more wound up. She was pushing my buttons, way more than anyone I know and I was tempted to let go. I grabbed two bottles of beer on my way out looking for somewhere secluded to sit and wait for Zoey and Dylan. I had only brought Zoe as a distraction. I didn't want any girl hitting on me tonight and she had followed me for the free drinks and an opportunity to hang out and make her boyfriend jealous. I finished the first bottle and rolled my trousers up to dip my fe
I struggled to open my eyes. I knew I needed to be awake but I wasn't ready to be up yet. I was kind of stuck in a limbo between sleep and full consciousness.The bed was soft and comforting and it smelled so good. I dug myself into the sheets running my hands through it. I couldn't deny the urge to get up, my full bladder was another indication.I opened my eyes slowly, my eyes adjusting to the bright room. A face appeared in the line of my sight but I closed down my eyes almost immediately. I was still dreaming and it wasn't time to wake up yet. My head was pounding and getting more sleep would actually be good for me so I closed my eyes and only opened them again for confirmation that I wasn't alone. I woke up to the most beautiful boy peering down at me. I know the correct adjectives for boys, it was just that beautiful was a better fit for me right now. He had cinnamon brown eyes that were familiar. They popped wide in shock and curiosity. He could easily fit as a child mod