I looked around at everyone's faces, I watched their expression go from shock to amusement at Maya's declaration except, Luka. "You're lying." I whispered embarrassed, through gritted teeth. "No I'm not." Maya responded swiftly with a small smile playing on the side of her lips. "Does vaginal infection equal STD?" Someone whispered, loud enough for me to hear and Maya girls chuckled. "Good girls also like dick apparently, they are only probably too dumb to make sure they are safe while doing it." Maya answered. "Luka was there, he can confirm it." I offered, trying to mitigate the situation. I looked to Luka, waiting for him to say something, he was there at the infirmary that day, so why won't he just confirm or deny what she said. He looked bored with all that was happening and started to walk away like he wasn't interested. His dismissal and lack of confirmation only worked in Maya's favour. Tammy looked uncomfortable but I didn't expect her to stand up for me. It hurt thou
"Excuse me miss, I was asked to give this to you," I eyed the blue eyed boy who I was sure I have never seen before. He was holding two cans of soda and a big bowl of popcorn. "Who asked you to bring these?" I asked him, with a nasty frown. Annie Marie was so happy about the drink that she could care less where it came from. She had looked so disappointed when I returned with my hair and clothes in a mess but no snacks for the game. She could care less about the state I was in but not Jamie. He was genuinely curious and I had promised to tell him all of it later when we were alone and he had kept sending me worried glances, he understood that I didn't want Annie Marie to be in the know. "Your master." With that he walked off. "Master?" Jamie asked surprised. I'll kill him. Luka had really sent someone to bring snacks with that message. I'll pluck off his eyes and use them as balls for a basketball game. I didn't go far with my violent fantasies before a message came in. Luk
The scene I saw in the living room was one of joy and easy laughter. Annie Marie, Luka and Paula, all entertaining themselves. Our sitting room, which was small, felt dwarfed by the presence of Luka on the couch which my mother had gotten as a second sale in a thrift store. It must feel lumpy in comparison to the glorious ones in their mansion home. My outburst wiped the smile of their faces and sucked the entire joy out of the room.I watched Paula's face morph into confusion and hurt and Luka's transform into a cold mask but I could see he was angry"Mom says don't use curse words in my presence," Annie Marie chided and I threw her a dirty glance."I'll tell mom," she offered with a frown. "Disappear," I warned. "No." She folded her hands in front of her in defiance. "Marie!" "Just leave her be," Luka offered and Marie sent him her best angelic smile. Stupid girl. She must have been impressed by his fine face. If only she knew that he was the real wolf in sheep's clothing.
Bougie- The unnoficial slang for rich and snobby.I was in a bougie store. The kind I've only seen in Kdrama's. You know that scene where the rich boy takes the girl to a richer store to dress her in new shiny things so that she could belong with him? Fit well into his social class? Yes that kind. I feel like that is what is happening to me right now. Because even though I came here with a rich friend, I was stuck with the rich boy who I am supposed to call Daddy and had the messiest relationship with. Paula was missing in action. She was dragged away by one of the store attendants to show her some new pieces and she had promised to return with new collections that she could try on and we would be the judge of it. Luka was sitting casually beside me, arms folded across his chest. He was wearing all black today. I swear that's his favourite colour, and it was a good choice because it suited him well. Dark to match his dark soul. Not like he didn't look good in them, it was Luka, h
They say you can tell what someone is thinking by looking in their eyes. What does it mean when someone's eyes seem to take you in? They look you over up to down then, their pupils dilate and get darker. I watched Luka watch me. I hate him but I can't stop myself from watching him watch me. It was a new discovery. I must have been carried away because he was speaking to me, "uhm?" "Spin." He commanded again, and whatever misgivings I had earlier, I couldn't remember them right now. I turned on my heels slowly, fighting the urge to cover myself. "I like the color, it does compliment your hair, but not the frill around the edges. I'll give this a solid 6.5.""Hmmn," Paula groaned with her hand under her chin with a deep pensive look. "Okay come one." I followed her in meek obedience. I figure the faster we get over this thing the better for us. Plus I can't deny how his gaze made me feel. I opened my mouth in wonder at the next one. It was a two piece, the bottom looked more
LUKAI could tell something was up. The more she tried hard to hide it, the more I could see it. It was evident in her features, she had looked so pale when the stranger was talking to her and I could see that she was scared. It's not like it was my business though, she delighted in taking every turn to remind me that I wasn't her business. So I could just enjoy my drink and this little birthday thing we planned for Paula. Most of our friends were going to be around and luckily for us the task master wasn't around. I know he hates me, but his relationship with Paula was the worst. Always reminding her that she was the child he never wanted, as if it was her fault he couldn't keep it in his pants. From the corner of my eyes where I sat beside the pool I could see Dylan and I got up hurriedly to go to him. It was true he was my friend but he was the one that complicated our relationship by having a thing for my sister, so when they fall out I ultimately have to pick Paula's sideI
I felt him before I saw him. His hand wrapping around my waist and my body's immediate reaction to his presence. His hands on my waist held me in place, trapping me to him. My bikini bottom and his swimming trunks were not serving as a good barrier against the heat of his skin. I felt warm from my back where his chest was pressed to mine to the sole of my foot. I looked around to be sure that nobody was looking this way or anyone would recognise us. They were busy floating around and drinking from their paper cups. Apart from Luka and Dylan, I didn't even recognise anybody at this party and Dylan had followed Paula after she stormed off. So, everyone's attention had been pulled off. "What are you doing?" I whispered out in a harsh breath. "Your butt cheeks are out for everyone to see," he whispered into my ear and I tried to shake him off. I couldn't help but smile, "who isn't comfortable in their own skin now? Why are you worried about what I am wearing?" "Because everyone is l
LUKAI wanted to lose control. For the first time, in my life I fully wanted to loose control. When she rubbed up on me in the pool, I was mere seconds aware from slipping away her bikini and actually plunging my hands into her warmth. All I could think of at that moment was what it would feel like to taste her. What it would feel like to drive into her. It felt so overwhelming that I'm sure I was going to scare her away if I didn't stop. I had passed through the garden and entered through the side door to make sure that I didn't meet anyone on the way. I needed a release and I needed it now. The moment I got up to my room, I couldn't help trying to get myself off. All I needed to do was think of the feeling of her against my front, and the images of things I could do to her flooded through. I tried to go as fast as I could but I didn't need more encouragement before I knew what was happening, I had come undone in my own hands with her name falling off my lips in a harsh groan.
My hands trailed on the rough skin on Bella's thigh with so much concentration that I didn't miss it when she flinched away. The loving and tenderness that I have spent the last one hour coaxing into her skin was gone. In its place was the rigid straightening of her spine and shoulders, an indication of how tense she suddenly became, almost as if she knew what was coming.The last six months we have been living in a bubble. I had accepted that it was okay for her not to say those three magical words that used to make my heart soar back to me, but lately it's been getting to me. Or maybe it's the way she never wants to talk about the 2 year gap in our relationship, or the baby we didn't know we had but lost. I want to know if she still secretly blames me for what happened. If every single time she sees the scars she hates me the way I do myself. I didn't mean to but I sighed loudly, my shoulder drooping before I rolled her body away from mine and got up padding softly to the bathroom
"I'm really sorry for the part I played in this. Especially knowing that you saw everything that happened that night. We staged a ruse and didn't take you into consideration and for that I'm sorry. Luka is my friend, and all I want is for him to be happy. He means so much to me that's why I came here and I told you my side of the story, it's up to you now whether you believe it or not." Erica ended and got up to leave. I couldn't bring myself to nod or acknowledge her. She had shown me proof that she was after all in a relationship with someone then, who was a professor at their school and telling me this could put her in trouble but she had chosen to do it anyway. I don't know what I was expecting to feel when the 'proof' came, but I'm not sure it's this. If I don't have the usual anger or person to blame for all my predicament then where do I stand? What is this deflated feeling I have in my stomach? Like a balloon punctured at the far end. "Bella," Luka began after a whi
The ride down to Luka's place was one of the most uncomfortable rides I've ever had to endure. My reference to his trysts with other girls was like an elephant in the room. It made me irritated and angry but he looked sad and kept giving me glances which I acted like I wasn't aware of. It was a different apartment from the last one which came to me as a suprise. But what I didn't expect was to see a fur covered, energetic dog launch at me. It did occur to me to go back to the shelter and ask about her wellbeinh after I got out of the hospital but I always assumed she would have been adopted or have moved on without remembering who I was. The moment she saw me she barked loudly and ran to me, wagging her tail. She remembered me, and that made me so warm and happy inside. I spent the next few minutes sitting there on the floor of Luka's studio apartment recieving her licks and hugs and reciprocating her love with my belly rubs and hugs. It took a while before she went on to greet Luk
Life was slowly and steadily returning to normal. Did I cry alot after that phone call with Luka? Yes. Did I fight the urge to go to him and be sure he is okay concerning the pregnancy bombshell I dropped on him? Yes. Did I think he'll show up after that night and actually accept responsibility to apologize for the way every thing turned out? Again Yes. But he didn't. Somehow, whatever I said to him must have resounded with him because he stayed away just as I asked. And it took a while but I took a day at a time. I showed up to classes, I smiled when it was necessary and went to as much of the freshers parties I could go to while my therapist tried to make sure I didn't loose my mind. Day in day out, I told myself that now that I have confronted Luka with all the hurt and the pain, I didn't need to see him again and I was happy that he didn't show off so why was he here now and why did I feel the familiar warmth and twinge in my chest that was usually there whenever I was near h
LUKAKnowledge isn't always power, it's sometimes pain. The kind that has you buckled over like you were kicked in the nuts. Nothing about this all consuming pain makes knowing about everything feel powerful. l feel powerless. With no single idea on how to fix this. My eyes burn and my wrist hurts from drawing and painting all day today. I also felt weak all over. When I drove down to Bella's dorm room last night all that was going on in my head was that I needed it not to be true. That there was a way out, a slim ray of hope that still gives me a redeemable chance but it had turned out to be the opposite of that. Not only had the details of what happened over the one year that I had stormed into my dad's office to get, found out to be true there were also more. Like a baby, a child between Bella and I that had miscarried. So much has happened, and I have no idea how I'm going to fix it. I haven't slept in almost 72hours. From the flight down home, to the flight back to going to
BELLA"Who is there?" I snapped. The loud noise coming from the person banging at the door repeatedly and forcefully echoed around my little room. "Who is there?" I called out even louder than earlier and was met with no response, just continuous, loud, pounding on the door. I thought about ignoring the person since they didn't answer me, and also because it was too late at night to be calling on someone since it was raining heavily. I grabbed my phone, "if you're not going to answer, I'm calling Campus security." The knocks and pounding stopped for a while after my threat and I heard the person curse out loudly in a strange language that wasn't totally foreign to me, since I knew the accent. Before I could come up with a solution, the loud knocks continued. I opened the door intent on giving the person a piece of my mind if it was who I thought it was and I was right. It was Luka. He was standing there soaking wet from the rain with his teeth chattering from cold and his eyes re
LUKAI woke up with an insane need to vomit and shot out of the tiny bed, searching with my eyes for the nearest toilet before I did it all over the floor. I barely made it to the toilet bowl before I found myself puking all over the cramped toilet floor. I puked and puked till I started to retch and my entire body felt weak and tired. Where the fuck am I and how did I get there? I lay back down on the cold floor, a little farther from the mess I just made but close to the toilet seat, and rubbed my head trying to remember bits and pieces from last night. It was the same thing from the last few days. I went out to drink, then Dylan joined me and the night ended with me drinking to stupour basically.I looked around the room, the toilet floor did look clean and I had zero energy to lift my body up right now anyway. The patterns on the floor of the toilet were faded like it had been scrubbed off due to use. From my position on the floor I couldn't see past a flowery pattern shower c
BELLA"I ran into Luka at school." I tried to make my declaration as unimportant as possible so that my mom wouldn't be alarmed or throw a fit and I must have succeeded because she didn't say anything. She was putting away the groceries and if not for the slight pause in her movements I would have thought she didn't hear me. "Ma, did you hear me?" I asked just to be sure. "It's been more than two weeks now why are just telling me?" My mouth opened on its own when she said that. "How...how did you know?" I managed to stammer out. "Are you having me followed?" I chuckled at the question, "nah, we don't have enough money for that." "Seriously mum, how did you know?" "Why else did you put your head on my laps and was crying some weeks ago? And what else could be the reason behind you moping? The only reason you're telling me now, is because you're moving to the dorms tomorrow." Wow. Nothing ever passed by this woman. Nothing. As in Zilch, Zero, Nada. "Just because I didn't say a
LUKAI threw my bag to the floor and fell on the couch like a sack of potatoes before sighing loudly. Sam, who when she heard the door open ran up to me wagging her tail in excitement followed me now to the couch and I stretched to pat her on the head. It did make me feel good everytime I walked in and there was always someone excited to see me. I barely had any time to think about my sad life and everything that happened today; from seeing Bella earlier to her running away, to me going back to school to finish up some school work to coming back home.But I know that I'm tired, very much so. I really think it's more mental exhaustion than physical. I guess I deserved this cold treatment but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt cause it hurts like a bitch. I got up and trudged to the fridge to get a bottle of water and the moment the cold liquid entered my stomach in protest it grumbled. I haven't eaten anything almost all day. I opened the fridge to search for something I could eat