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CHAPTER 108: Don't make me Beg
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Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 109: Finding Closure
I've always hated quick endings. It's one of the reasons why I'm obsessed with goodbye's and closure. I believe that you should pull out of situations slowly giving yourself time to adjust. Pulling out too quickly will leave you bereft with absolutely nothing to fall back on. Like when my father left us. He had been leaving home and rarely coming back more and more. It took me a while to understand that maybe he was finally preparing himself to leave. But one thing is for sure, with every long month's end trip he took we slowly got used to his absence. Every single time till that very day. I could see the determination in his eyes when he told me he was going on a business trip. His suitcase was larger than all the ones he had previously taken and there was a lingering look of sadness as he smoothed Annie Marie's hair and kissed her forehead. So, when my mum didn't get up to follow him because they had fought last night about his prolonged trips and how he hasn't been there for u
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 110: Final Straw
LUKAMy thighs were burning from exhaustion, my feet were too tired to carry me at this point and my heart was beating erratically, but I kept running. The cold wind whipped around in my ear and all I could see in front of me was more space to run. When my lungs finally felt like it could burst, I stopped and grabbed the railing beside the walkway I was running on and gasped for breath. I tapped my Apple watch to see how far I've come and it was a whole lot. I'm very far from home. So what now, Luka? Did running so hard this morning do anything to quell the unease in your gut or the fear that gripped your chest every time you thought about her? Did it in anyway help you feel better from feeling like an ass through out the night for not consoling her about the stupid pregnancy rumors or even attempt to clear your head? Cause you know you're the one who is messed up. So messed up you can't just accept this and move on with someone you really want to be with.Leaving the house way
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 111: Closet Tryst
LUKAThe party was still in full swing when I got back inside. It was the only other place I had to go since she had asked me not come. I passed by a group of wild students playing beer pong and grabbed a bottle of beer on the way before returning back to where I was sitting. They were sitting in a circular fashion with the chairs rearranged and a bottle on the table in the center. My seat beside Erica had been occupied by someone else and the only spare place to sit was opposite her and I took it. It would save me the stress of answering her question about where I've been anyway. They were playing spin the bottle game but I tipped my head against the head rest and closed my eyes barely interested. The only indication that I'm not asleep was the bottle of beer that I was drinking from. There was a storm going on inside of me. The kind that used to drive me to get into fights, but today I'm finding out that I didn't have the strength. I deserved to let it tear me up from the insid
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 112: How Do Humans Break?
They say time flies when you're having fun but the opposite of it should be that it slows when you're waiting. Because there is no way in hell time flies when you're doing nothing. I mean, just look at me. I'm a living example that all time does when you wait is crawl, giving anxiety more room to claw at your nerves and regret every choice you've made. At first I had hoped that he was going to come, so I put on the TV and waited. Then fashionable late became explanaible late and turned in to just late, when I could no longer come up with excuses to give on his behalf. With every tick of the clock, it dawned on me that I had made a big mistake coming down here to live when everything was not solved.I had an idea it was a mistake so far living here but now it seems like a giant mess. Because this is my last hope at a fighting chance. When my stomach started rumbling because I haven't had anything all day I decided to start with the fruits, before working up my way to the cake. I
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 113: Losing Her The Second Time
"What time is it?" I held my head trying to hold it in place, feeling like it could split into two and look around searching for Joey but coming up empty. That means I slept here alone last night. I get up on wobbly feet and make it to the toilet. I grabbed the bedpost and door on my way before finally emptying my full bladder. When I finished, I stood in front of the mirror to wash my hand in front of the wash hand basin and I gasped in horror. I look like shit. I feel like shit too. My hair was sticking everywhere and there was a line of spit near my mouth. My eyes were red and my eyes have dark stubble underneath. I also smelled like booze, and a strange perfume I won't usually wear. .I cupped my hand under the sink to scoop some water to wash my face. I stood there for a while leaning over the sink as the events of yesterday night slowly trickled in; leaving Bella hanging, the darned party, going to the closet with Erica and getting back here only to drink some more. I n
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 114: Trip Down Guilty Lane
She didn't leave right? Her stuff was still here so where was she? I'm tired of just waiting at this point. So I pick my keys and wear my slides and my coat and head out. I try the local basketball gym first, then her school, the shelter where the dog was, the store, the cinema, and all of them came back empty. I finally decided to head home. Maybe she was back home after all. It's almost 10pm at night but she still wasn't back home. I dialed Paula twise and when she picked on the fourth ring I yelled out, "where the fuck have you been?" She must have been taken aback by the way I spoke because she chuckled dryly, "well, hello to you too brother." I breathe loudly trying to calm myself down and sit down even though I couldn't help drumiing my feet on the floor. "Is Bella with you?" There was a slight pause like she didn't understand what I meant so I repeated it. "Is Bella by any chance at your place or do you know where she is?" "No. It's almost a 4 hours train ride down here.
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 115: But you Let her go
LUKA"Did you see this girl here at the night of the party?" I asked, feeling my head pound. The red eyed boy who was barely listening to us answered, "No." "Damn it, you didn't even look at the picture," I grabbed him at the shoulder to shake him and I must have caught him off guard because then he peered back into my phone. "Relax man. You know how these college parties go. I'm not sure, I remember what happened that night, remembering someone I saw is a far stretch." "Yes but you should slow down on the drugs then," Paula dragged me away from him knowing that I was close to my breaking point. "Screaming at him isn't going to change anything. I need you to calm down." "I can't fucking calm down Paula. It's been two days. I'm at the end of the rope and it feels like I'm losing my mind. It feels like Bella getting kidnapped over and over again and I don't know what is wrong with her and it's like living close to an edge knowing that you're going down very fast. And I can't breath
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 116: Thresholds of Pain
BELLAPain; An unpleasant emotional or sensory experience that is associated with actual or potential damage. While unpleasant, pain is actually protective. It lets us know that we are alive, tells us when to run from danger or how much of it could kill us. They say there is a very thin line between pain and pleasure but there is a much more thinner line between pain and nothingness, a place where you retreat into where pain can't touch you. How much pain can a human take before you find out that enough is enough and drive down the ledge. I watched my mom from my position on the bed where I was propped up with my leg hanged up to a suspension kit and rods and metals hanging out from it as indication of the restriction they did on my femur. I had an open fracture of the femur bone, I also broke one rib that pierced my lung and had me unconscious for a few days but everything has been resolved except for my thigh. It will take approximately 6-12 weeks for my thigh to remain in this
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Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 135: EPILOGUE
My hands trailed on the rough skin on Bella's thigh with so much concentration that I didn't miss it when she flinched away. The loving and tenderness that I have spent the last one hour coaxing into her skin was gone. In its place was the rigid straightening of her spine and shoulders, an indication of how tense she suddenly became, almost as if she knew what was coming.The last six months we have been living in a bubble. I had accepted that it was okay for her not to say those three magical words that used to make my heart soar back to me, but lately it's been getting to me. Or maybe it's the way she never wants to talk about the 2 year gap in our relationship, or the baby we didn't know we had but lost. I want to know if she still secretly blames me for what happened. If every single time she sees the scars she hates me the way I do myself. I didn't mean to but I sighed loudly, my shoulder drooping before I rolled her body away from mine and got up padding softly to the bathroom
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 134: Home in his Arms.
"I'm really sorry for the part I played in this. Especially knowing that you saw everything that happened that night. We staged a ruse and didn't take you into consideration and for that I'm sorry. Luka is my friend, and all I want is for him to be happy. He means so much to me that's why I came here and I told you my side of the story, it's up to you now whether you believe it or not." Erica ended and got up to leave. I couldn't bring myself to nod or acknowledge her. She had shown me proof that she was after all in a relationship with someone then, who was a professor at their school and telling me this could put her in trouble but she had chosen to do it anyway. I don't know what I was expecting to feel when the 'proof' came, but I'm not sure it's this. If I don't have the usual anger or person to blame for all my predicament then where do I stand? What is this deflated feeling I have in my stomach? Like a balloon punctured at the far end. "Bella," Luka began after a whi
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 133: The Whole Truth
The ride down to Luka's place was one of the most uncomfortable rides I've ever had to endure. My reference to his trysts with other girls was like an elephant in the room. It made me irritated and angry but he looked sad and kept giving me glances which I acted like I wasn't aware of. It was a different apartment from the last one which came to me as a suprise. But what I didn't expect was to see a fur covered, energetic dog launch at me. It did occur to me to go back to the shelter and ask about her wellbeinh after I got out of the hospital but I always assumed she would have been adopted or have moved on without remembering who I was. The moment she saw me she barked loudly and ran to me, wagging her tail. She remembered me, and that made me so warm and happy inside. I spent the next few minutes sitting there on the floor of Luka's studio apartment recieving her licks and hugs and reciprocating her love with my belly rubs and hugs. It took a while before she went on to greet Luk
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 132: The House mate Agreement
Life was slowly and steadily returning to normal. Did I cry alot after that phone call with Luka? Yes. Did I fight the urge to go to him and be sure he is okay concerning the pregnancy bombshell I dropped on him? Yes. Did I think he'll show up after that night and actually accept responsibility to apologize for the way every thing turned out? Again Yes. But he didn't. Somehow, whatever I said to him must have resounded with him because he stayed away just as I asked. And it took a while but I took a day at a time. I showed up to classes, I smiled when it was necessary and went to as much of the freshers parties I could go to while my therapist tried to make sure I didn't loose my mind. Day in day out, I told myself that now that I have confronted Luka with all the hurt and the pain, I didn't need to see him again and I was happy that he didn't show off so why was he here now and why did I feel the familiar warmth and twinge in my chest that was usually there whenever I was near h
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 131: Selfish Bastard
LUKAKnowledge isn't always power, it's sometimes pain. The kind that has you buckled over like you were kicked in the nuts. Nothing about this all consuming pain makes knowing about everything feel powerful. l feel powerless. With no single idea on how to fix this. My eyes burn and my wrist hurts from drawing and painting all day today. I also felt weak all over. When I drove down to Bella's dorm room last night all that was going on in my head was that I needed it not to be true. That there was a way out, a slim ray of hope that still gives me a redeemable chance but it had turned out to be the opposite of that. Not only had the details of what happened over the one year that I had stormed into my dad's office to get, found out to be true there were also more. Like a baby, a child between Bella and I that had miscarried. So much has happened, and I have no idea how I'm going to fix it. I haven't slept in almost 72hours. From the flight down home, to the flight back to going to
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 130: The Bitter Truth
BELLA"Who is there?" I snapped. The loud noise coming from the person banging at the door repeatedly and forcefully echoed around my little room. "Who is there?" I called out even louder than earlier and was met with no response, just continuous, loud, pounding on the door. I thought about ignoring the person since they didn't answer me, and also because it was too late at night to be calling on someone since it was raining heavily. I grabbed my phone, "if you're not going to answer, I'm calling Campus security." The knocks and pounding stopped for a while after my threat and I heard the person curse out loudly in a strange language that wasn't totally foreign to me, since I knew the accent. Before I could come up with a solution, the loud knocks continued. I opened the door intent on giving the person a piece of my mind if it was who I thought it was and I was right. It was Luka. He was standing there soaking wet from the rain with his teeth chattering from cold and his eyes re
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 129: Jealousy the Green Eyed Monster
LUKAI woke up with an insane need to vomit and shot out of the tiny bed, searching with my eyes for the nearest toilet before I did it all over the floor. I barely made it to the toilet bowl before I found myself puking all over the cramped toilet floor. I puked and puked till I started to retch and my entire body felt weak and tired. Where the fuck am I and how did I get there? I lay back down on the cold floor, a little farther from the mess I just made but close to the toilet seat, and rubbed my head trying to remember bits and pieces from last night. It was the same thing from the last few days. I went out to drink, then Dylan joined me and the night ended with me drinking to stupour basically.I looked around the room, the toilet floor did look clean and I had zero energy to lift my body up right now anyway. The patterns on the floor of the toilet were faded like it had been scrubbed off due to use. From my position on the floor I couldn't see past a flowery pattern shower c
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 128: Stuck with Luka
BELLA"I ran into Luka at school." I tried to make my declaration as unimportant as possible so that my mom wouldn't be alarmed or throw a fit and I must have succeeded because she didn't say anything. She was putting away the groceries and if not for the slight pause in her movements I would have thought she didn't hear me. "Ma, did you hear me?" I asked just to be sure. "It's been more than two weeks now why are just telling me?" My mouth opened on its own when she said that. "How...how did you know?" I managed to stammer out. "Are you having me followed?" I chuckled at the question, "nah, we don't have enough money for that." "Seriously mum, how did you know?" "Why else did you put your head on my laps and was crying some weeks ago? And what else could be the reason behind you moping? The only reason you're telling me now, is because you're moving to the dorms tomorrow." Wow. Nothing ever passed by this woman. Nothing. As in Zilch, Zero, Nada. "Just because I didn't say a
Becoming the bad boy's pet CHAPTER 127: The Secret Meeting
LUKAI threw my bag to the floor and fell on the couch like a sack of potatoes before sighing loudly. Sam, who when she heard the door open ran up to me wagging her tail in excitement followed me now to the couch and I stretched to pat her on the head. It did make me feel good everytime I walked in and there was always someone excited to see me. I barely had any time to think about my sad life and everything that happened today; from seeing Bella earlier to her running away, to me going back to school to finish up some school work to coming back home.But I know that I'm tired, very much so. I really think it's more mental exhaustion than physical. I guess I deserved this cold treatment but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt cause it hurts like a bitch. I got up and trudged to the fridge to get a bottle of water and the moment the cold liquid entered my stomach in protest it grumbled. I haven't eaten anything almost all day. I opened the fridge to search for something I could eat
