45H U G O"Why do you feel like backing out from your wedding?”Mum’s question bothers me. “I thought you love Audrey?” She adds.“I do love her.” I admitted.She looks at me worriedly, “Then what seems to be the problem?”I've always loved Audrey and she's the only woman I wanna be with ever since I met her. She used to be so simple. She used to be so gorgeous and very down to earth. She used to be so friendly and smiling. That was the Audrey that I fell in love with.But now, she totally changed.Every single thing about her changed as soon as she got really famous. She changed the way she dresses. She changed the way she speaks. She changed the way she treats people. She changed the way she was supposed to be and it felt like I don’t know the real Audrey anymore. She changed when people were starting to notice her, when people were beginning to love her and when people were seeing her potential.She is not the same woman I fell in love with before.Then there’s Rose, who left me
45.5M I R A N D A"Hey."Landon suddenly wraps his arms around my waist as he stands next to me. He quickly kisses my neck and slowly spins me around to face him. I move my head to Landon and cupped his cheeks with both of my hands as we smile."You are one bothered and hot looking momma." He teases.I grin. "I'm not bothered, but I am hot looking.""Yes you are bothered and you're also hot looking momma." He kisses my forehead.I smile shyly."You wanna go out for a walk? Or a drive? A drive would be better." He winks at me.I nod. "I think I need to get out a little bit. I need some sunshine.""I am your ball of sunshine." He smiles.I giggle and kiss his jaw. "I love you my lover."He smiles at me so handsomely, "I'm beginning to love it every time you call me that." Landon holds me tighter and I do not want him to let me go."I know you love it." I say."Yes. How about we go out for a drive a little bit before we pick up Ben from school and then maybe grab some ice cream afterwar
46H U G ONervous.That was the only word I can think of and I just wish this night would turn out fine. I have been bothered the entire day thinking about it and I am trying to practice the words that I need to say to Ben.I am literally freaking out.Finally, I park my car on the parking space feeling a little bit more nervous now that I am here. I look back at Audrey and she looked calmer than me. I don’t know what is going on inside her brain right now but I swear to God I wish she would not flip out and throw her diva behavior tonight. I have begged her to let me do the talking and she reassured me about it.“Are you ready?” I ask her even if I know that I should be the one asking that to myself.She glances at me before looking back outside the window, “I should ask you that.” She answer sarcastically.“Please Audrey.”She looks back at me, “What?”“Please don’t ruin this night.”She laugh at me, “Funny how you tell me not to ruin the night when lately you are the one who is r
46.5M I R A N D ALandon's car slowly drives into the parking lot and the second the engine stopped, I know that this was it.I glare at Ben from the backseat and he sits there with a smile on his face as soon as he looks back at me. His smile completely calms me but at the same time frightens me too.This is it.This is really it, Miranda."Are we here already?" Ben asks.I nod, “Yes sweetheart. We are.”The three of us headed out of the car and walked together towards the restaurant like a perfect family. I am nervously walking towards the front door of this fancy restaurant, with my heels that's making me look even more awkward and I know Landon notices it. He knows I am trembling inside but he gives me a reassuring gentle grip on my hand and that’s all I could ask for from this night.He smiles at me before he leans closer to my ear, “I am here, okay?”I nod as I smile at him.As soon as the door opens, I begin to scan through the customers and quickly spotted Hugo on the farthes
47M I R A N D AWitnessing it shook the entire living organ in my body.Since then, my tears never stopped from falling over my cheeks and my heart felt as if it was ripped out of my chest. This was a different kind of pain because it hurts really bad. My heart feels like it stopped from beating and my entire body was shaking.My entirety felt numb cold as soon as I saw my son's lifeless body lying down on the street being crowded by the people who surrounded him, and I couldn't do anything about it but to cry and hold him. I couldn't do anything to save him. I could not do anything else but cry hysterically against Landon’s chest as he holds me.I could still hear the wail of the ambulance along the street. I could still feel my chest hurting and burning with anger and pain and so much hatred that I was blaming myself for what happened to my son. I could still feel my limbs being numb. I could still see how Ben looked when he was lying down on my arms on that street with so much blo
47.5Landon kisses my temple briefly and hugs me tighter as I rest my head against his chest while Hugo slowly pulls his head up and glued his eyes on me being wrapped around Landon's arms. He is staring a few seconds before he slowly travels his head back to the floor."Everything's gonna be okay, love.” I hear Landon tell me. “Ben will make it. I'm here for you, I'm not gonna leave ya." He whispers against my ear.I nod again as I glued my eyes on Hugo but he is bending his head down as he keeps on staring at his own fingers. He looks so lost, alone and lonely. He looks like he doesn't know what he's going to do right now and he looks like he does not know what to actually feel. I honestly wanna walk up to Hugo and hold him. I know he is struggling too. I know he is in pain too. I know he is mad too. I wanna comfort him for what he is feeling because I know he's terribly feeling deadly heavyhearted as much as I am. I wanna tell him that it's going to be alright, that this wasn't hi
48H U G O "It has been a few weeks since the rumor about the little boy who resembles much like Mr. Hugo Saintclare and now it is back when the power couple, Audrey Chamberlain and Hugo Saintclare were spotted having dinner with Landon Thompson and his girlfriend Miranda Rose. The four was seen arguing in a restaurant a few nights before the tragic accident of Benedict Rose.”I change there television’s channel.“Chamberlain and Saintclare were spotted having a heated argument inside a restaurant in New York City. The couple was--”I turn to another channel because I am now completely fed up seeing and hearing my name on TV, online, the tabloids and all over the news."People had been questioning Hugo’s past and recent visits in New York City the past months and everyone had been wondering about the uncanny similarities of the Satellite Patrol alumni and the adorable boy named Benedict Rose. The--”I decided to turn off the television and tried to rest my back on my chair. My head
48.5I don't like the way he is changing his sentence. I don't like what he's going to say to us and I don’t even want to hear it but at the same time I want to. I do not like where this conversation is going. I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear what he found out because even the thought of it makes me cry already.It is already hurting my heart.Rose’s eyes were already flooded with her tears but she's still holding it back. She's still trying to be strong even though her hand was already holding tight on mine and I let her as I am also holding her back. I'm trying to be strong for her, for us as co-parents and for our son."But?" I feel a tremble over my entire body."Your son has TBI." He says.TBI?I stare at him confusedly and Rose didn't know what he said too."Traumatic Brain Injury." The doctor finally explains the abbreviation.My heart raced instantly just by the name of it."It's a form of brain injury which was caused by very sudden damage of the brain. Its leading c
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s