37THEAI froze when I was holding my fork when Benedict said those words unexpectedly.For a second, I dropped my jaws because I was immensely shocked, but quickly clipped it back together once I recovered. His eyes were looking at me intently, sorrily and sadly as if he had done somethint terribly wrong. That's when I knew he was serious with what he was telling me.He is willing to give way for Sebastian.I ran out of words with what he just said and all of a sudden I felt sad for no reason. I felt sad but I didn't know why. I felt sad even if I know I should not be. I know I should not feel sad because what he said just means he will not fight for me. It simply means that he will stop annoying me, he will stop asking me for more dates and he will stop persuading me to give him a response to what he feel. He will stop seeing me. He will stop coming over here. He will stop everything because he wants Sebastian to chase after me.Benedict will not fight for his love for me. The thoug
38BENEDICTI stepped inside the restaurant where Sebastian was supposed to meet me. There I spotted him, sitting alone on a chair in a table for two. I walked my way towards the table where he is and he smiled at me as soon as he saw me. He stands and gave me a brief hug before we sat down.Why am I nervous to face him?I smiled anyways and felt a little bit relaxed when he welcomed me with a brotherly hug."I am pissed at you for leaving my party without letting me know." He says right away.I smirk."I was suppose to give you a call before I was going to leave." I chuckle dryly. "But I was really preoccupied with my date." I lied.He smiles and shakes his head. "You're lucky you're my best friend. And you're lucky I loved your birthday gift.""You're welcome." That was all I answered him.The foods were then served after a minute or two and Sebastian already knows what foods to order for lunch. Even though Sebastian was talking to me about the party, about his guests and the presen
39THEAKYLIE: Monday monday monday!! So excited to see the article you wrote about Bene-dick. Lol! Congratulations in advance!!! So proud of you!!JOJO: Morning sunshine! I'm much more excited to read the article than you. Haha! Can't wait to buy the mag later It brings a smile on my face upon rereading the messages from my best friends while I was riding inside a taxi cab. I have been waiting for this for my entire life to see my name on a magazine where I wrote an entire centerfold. I felt very happy, excited and nervous of what the people will think about what I wrote because no one had ever interviewed Benedict. I'm most definitely sure that this month's edition of Lure's is going to be an ultimate hit since a lot of people are curious about England's darling.I sit here in the backseat of the cab thinking about so many things, from work, to the magazine, to Sebastian and one of the main thought is Benedict. I wonder if he will even love the article. I wonder if he will think th
40"I just cant believe Victoria would really do that to you!" Kylie screams at me over the phone."Exactly! I wanted to go to Lure, throw the magazine at her face and just curse at her all day when I read the written by part." Jonah commented as we did a three-way call.I throw myself in my sofa and started flipping through some channels of the tv."But the article was so beautiful Thea. I was fascinated by it." Kylie cooed."It was just marvelously written." Jonah adds.I smiled. "Thank you girls. But don't worry because I feel a lot better now." I answered them."Are you filing a case?" Jonah asked."Of course she should." Kylie answers right away.I nod. "I am. Yeah. And Benedict's filing too."There was silence for about five seconds."Benedict Saintclare?!" They asked in unison.I smirked. "Yeah. He is. That's what he said so a while ago at the office.""At the office?" Jonah exaggeratedly asked.I chuckled as I changed to the next channel."Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You mean to say he
41Kylie groans. "You know I am not a huge fan of art. Why are you taking me?"The three of us were riding inside the taxi as we sat down at the backseat."Art exhibits are cool. And you can meet eligible men there and not at clubs." Jonah answers.I smiled as I chuckled. "Kind of true.""´Course it is, hun." Jonah answers me.Kylie rolls her eyes. "It's gonna be so boring there and I'm sure I'm not gonna enjoy.""You will enjoy if you'll think positively that you will." I say to her."And besides, I heard the paintings there are all made up by a father and son team-up. What if the son is hot?" Jonah smirks.I pat her shoulder. "He is hot.""You've already met him?" Jonah gapes. "Why do you get to meet all the hot guys without us?" Kylie whines."I met the dude because he's Bethany's boyfriend." I answered.They nod in unison."Bethany Saintclare?" Jonah asked.I nod."What is she like? Is it really true that she's like a little Paris Hilton slash Kim Kardashian? I heard she's got a
42A FEW YEARS EARLIER..."Liv, c'mon I won't peek I promise." I say to him.Liv covered both of my eyes with his huge hands as he leads the way for me. I hear him laughing while he kept instructing me on where to go."Are we there yet?" I asked.He laughs under his throat. "Almost.""Where are you even taking me?" I asked him again while he walks behind me."Just relax, baby." He says to me and everytime he calls me baby, something deep inside of me kind of hates it.I hate it because it reminds me of our age gap.It has been a huge problem to us even from the very beginning but he doesn't make me feel like he's way older or I'm way younger than him. But then both of us can't really avoid that situation. Most especially when we listen to music when we're just driving on the road. He likes listening to classical rock bands from his yesteryear while I like the new pop music of my era. Right then, I can instantly compare us with our age.There are times when he would be busy for work an
43I exhaled heavily as I stare at my bedroom's ceiling. I have been tossing and turning. I haven't been able to sleep since I saw Liv again a while ago. His face still haunts me.Our past haunts me."Vi." I pulled my head up and saw Barbie standing right behind me. I looked back at her from my mirror and she sighs heavily."Skye wants to see you." She adds.I nod and stand from my chair.Barbie and I started walking away from the dressing room. Both of us were silent and I have this gut feeling that Skye is going to talk to me again about Liv. He's been warning me about my relationship with Liv because he doesn't want Liv to come in between me and my work. But I have honestly been personally wanting to quit this job."Still going out with that Swedish man?" Barbie asks me.I slowly nod. "Why does Skye doesn't want us to be commited? It feels so unfair.""In this kind of business Violet, love will only ruin you. Men doesn't respect women like us who works as a stripper and an escort b
44THEAA FEW YEARS EARLIER...."All done." Liv says as soon as he finished sketching me on a huge blank sheet of paper.I hurried to his side as soon as he exclaimed thise words and wrapped myself with the blanket on the chair that was next to me. I wanted him to sketch me while I was standing naked hiding behind the sheer white curtains. I sprawled my arms around his arms, rested my chin on his shoulder and watch another beautiful sketch of me done by him."Wow." I say in awe.I could really see myself on his drawing. It's like I'm watching myself on a mirror. I watch how calm his hand was finishing some small details and doing a little erasure from it. I loved how his hand strokes on my hip part and how he beautifully ran his finger over my nipples to enhance it a little bit."Babe, I think my boobs look bigger on your sketch." I say while laughing softly.He grins. "I don't really mind about your boobs. Those aren't what I loved about you."I kiss his cheek.And then the drawing w
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s