12.5He’s your old time friend since you were a teen. He’s that long haired and hot lead vocalist from Satellite Patrol who has such a powerful and raspy voice that sounds so fucking hot. He’s Hugo Saintclare and he doesn’t know we have a child.I smile weakly, “I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m sorry.”“Oh. Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who should apologize for asking personal stuff.” He takes a sip from his drink.I smiled ruefully. “It’s nothing.” I tell him.“Anyways.” He chimes. “Hugo has been talking to me about helping you find a good job here in New York and since he’s a very dear friend to me, I am willing to help you.” Ned starts talking about what we’re really here for.I nod, “I will be forever thankful to you, Mr. Hall.”“We really don’t have to be formal here. Just call me Ned. It’s totally fine.” He responds.I nod shyly with a smile on my face. “Okay, Ned.”“Better.” He smiles. “Since this job you are about to apply is about business and it’s far from your field,
13M I R A N D A"Take care of Miranda for me." Ned tells Hugo while we head out of the front door.Ned had always been known as the sweetest one in the band and he’s always been the most thoughtful among the five of them.Hugo smiles at Ned and I was just completely quiet the entire time the two of them were together because it was a little overwhelming seeing two of my favorite rock band conversing so casually in front of me. I don't know why I get insanely quiet when Hugo arrived because it felt like my tongue curled to the back of my throat. Worst, it seemed like I swallowed it and my mind doesn't work as if it was back being an empty dome.So many questions were running inside my head and I was then reminded that he is engaged. Wait, why is he even in New York? What did he come here for? Who did he come here for?I was hoping that it was because of me but them he could probably mean business.Oh don't be silly Miranda, you really think you're that special to Hugo just because he
13.5Seeing my son, I just wish he would grow fond with Hugo’s companionship right now. Hugo’s not a bad man and back in the day I know he likes kids.Ben's curly hair was blowing against the wind and I quickly hopped off from Hugo’s car. I marched towards them and kissed Ben's forehead. "Hey little fella." I tell him.He yawns. "Hey mom.""He just woke up." Vivian kissed me cheek to cheek."Oh poor thing. Have you had dinner already?" I ask him.Ben nods. "The pasta aunt Vivian bought me was amazing."I smile at Vivian. "Thank you Viv.""You're welcome. Who's car is that?""I'll tell you about it later. Long story.” I responded. “But we need to get going now. Let's go Ben."Both of us started walking towards Hugo’s car as soon as we bid goodbye to Vivian. I opened the passenger door for Ben and Hugo just stares at him the second the door cracked opened with a tight-lipped smile on his face.Ben looks up to me. "Why are you together mom?""He offered me a ride to pick you up." I answe
14M I R A N D AIt begins to rain.But my eyes were still on Hugo and his eyes were still on me.What in hell is he thinking about? Those eyes tells me that he wants to say something.Shit, did he figure me out?Talk Miranda. Say anything."W-Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him.Hugo recovers from staring and shakes his head. "Let me help you put the groceries inside. It's raining.""I can manage Hugo." I lied. “You have already helped me too much tonight.”He looks at me doubtfully."Plus my house is a mess right now because of Ben's toys and it would be embarrassing to let you in." I added.He chuckles. "I don't really mind. My house is a mess too. I just want to help you and Ben. Please, come on let me help."He hops out of the car without hesitation and I quickly followed him out. It's raining harder now and both of us started getting wet."Carry Ben." He instructs while I watch him getting soaked by the rain. "I'll bring these inside." He says while popping the trunk
14.5I smiled right away. "It's okay."He's still looking at me and I really think that he really wants to know where Ben's father is. God Hugo! It's you! How badly I want to tell you about the truth but I'm not ready yet.I am not ready for the consequences that I will be facing and the changes that will in all our lives.I take a deep breath in and exhale, "Well Ben's father... he's..." I trailed off.I moved my eyes back to my cup and suddenly saw Hugo’s hand moving towards mine. He begins to begins to hold me and as I pulled my head up and stared at him, he smiles at me ruefully."You don't need to answer that." He tells me. "That douche doesn't deserve you and Ben anyways."That douche is you Hugo. And you're not a douche. Goodness you're far from being a douche. Ugh! This isn't good for me. I can't contain this anymore. All this guilt and pain and torture that is building up every single time I spend time with you.I'm trying really hard to stop my tears from falling by biting m
15M I R A N D A My heart is pounding inside my chest as my eyes glued on his lips. I had a feeling that we were about to kiss but then he pulled himself away and shakes his head.“I’m sorry.” He apologizes right away pushing his hair off his face. “I shouldn’t have done that. I apologize, Miranda.”Hugo begins to leave the room so I started following him as well. He was completely silent and I realized that he pulled himself away because he realized that it was completely wrong. Well, it seemed like he wanted to kiss me and wanted to initiate doing something to me, damn and I didn’t even push him away orWhen we reached downstairs, he was still quiet so I had to do something to make this feel a little less troublesome. "Thank you for putting Ben to sleep.” I croaked.He smiles at me, "It was nothing. It’s something I really want to do.""It meant a lot to me. It's hard to put Ben back to sleep especially at a time like this.” I responded with a smile. “So thank you."I glare outside
15.5I nod firmly.No. I have no idea what their names are.“Name one.” He crosses his arm over the other."Screw driver." I say."Aside from screw drivers." He locks his eyes on me.I take a pause and notice that Hugo is starting to smile but he is just hiding it with his finger. "See?” He gestured his hand. “I think you need to study those things first before you start working on a hardware store.""I'll memorize it in no time." I say proudly. "Let's move on, shall we?"He smiles at me. "Tell me more about you." He continues while gluing his eyes at me.I exhale. "What do you want to know? What aspect of my life you want to know about?"I watch him tap his fingers on top of the mug's mouth. "You can tell me anything you want to tell me about you." He says.I bite my lower lip briefly and think about things that are about me because those eyes seem as if he was really curious. He really seemed like he wanted to know me, "Well, I was a consistent honor student back in the day."Hugo n
16H U G O"Really Ned. A hardware store!" I raised my voice at him.He groans.“Of all places?! A freaking hardware store?!”He groans a little louder as I hear a ruffling sound, "Hugo, are you really going to talk to me about this one right now?""Yes. I answered firmly.""It's two in the morning." He whines."I don't care. Of all job opportunities you could've given her, it had to be at a hardware store.""What's wrong with it?""She's a goddamn nurse!” I complained. “What do you want her to do there? Nursing the tools?"Ned laughs annoyingly loud. "Out of all the jokes you pulled off, that one was funniest. I swear to God."I groaned. "I'm not joking Ned."He exhales. "Relax will you? And hey, that was the only vacant job I could offer her and that my friends had. I’m sorry if it was not better than you expected."I push my hair off my face feeling disappointed with his plans."Did she whine about it?" Ned questions."No. I'm just concerned about her. She doesn't know anything abo
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s